I WOKE UP IN A GRASSY FIELD. EDDY WAS THERE.
“AH-HA!” I SAID.
I GOT UP AND SHOT OUT MY BLADES.
“SHOULD HAVE FINISHED ME OFF DOUCHEBAG!” I SAID. “NOW I'M GONNA KILL YOU!”
I RAN TO EDDY BUT HE MOVED OUT OF THE WAY. I SLIPPED ON THE MUDDY GROUND AND FELL DOWN.
IT WAS STILL RAINING.
“ALRIGHT..ALRIGHT..” I SAID. “GIMME THE HOOD AND THE GLOVES.”
“NO.” EDDY SAID.
“ALRIGHT THEN..” I SAID.
I RAN TO EDDY AGAIN AND HE KICKED ME ON THE GROUND. I QUICKLY GOT UP AND HE WASN'T THERE.
“EDDY?” I SAID.
I FELT A SHARP PAIN IN MY LEFT SHOULDER, I TURNED AROUND AND SAW EDDY THERE.
EDDY JUST STOOD THERE. THE PAIN WENT AWAY.
“WHAT'D YOU DO??” I SAID.
EDDY THREW SOME SAND IN MY EYES.
“AHH WTF YOU ASSHOLE!” I SAID.
I FELT THE SHARP PAIN IN MY RIGHT SHOULDER.
I COULDN'T SEE SO I SWUNG IN THAT GENERAL DIRECTION.
EDDY BLOCKED MY ARM.
I GOT MOST OF THE SAND OUT OF MY EYES. I FELT A SHARP PAIN IN MY BACK AND I TURNED AROUND.
EDDY WAS FAR AWAY STARING AT ME.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” I SAID.
EDDY JUMPED UP INTO A TREE AND VANSIHED.
I RAN AFTER HIM. I STOPPED AT THE TREE.
“GET BACK HERE!” I SAID.
I TRIED TO JUMP INTO THE TREE BUT I COULDN'T.
I STOOD THERE IN THE RAIN.
“WELL GOD DAMMIT.” I SAID.
I RETRACTED THE BLADES.
I STARTED WALKING HOPING TO FIND A2. I WALKED ALL THE WAY TO THE SHORE AND THEN I WALKED ALONG THE SHORE. THE STORM WAS CALMING DOWN NOW, AND THE WAVES WERE GETTING LESS RAPID. MY SHOES WERE COMPLETELY COVERED IN MUD, WET SAND, AND SALT WATER.
I GOT TIRED AFTER A WHILE AND SAT DOWN ON THE SHORE. MY ASS GOT SANDY.
I SIGHED. I TRIED DRAWING IN THE SAND WITH MY BLADES.
THEN I GOT A SHARP PAIN IN MY BACK.
“EDDY!” I SAID.
I TURNED AROUND BUT IT WASN'T EDDY. IT WAS SKY.
SKY WAS POINTING A SHOTGUN AT ME.
“JAMEZ.” SKY SAID.
“SKY.” I SAID.
WE STOOD OFF THERE FOR A SECOND.
“YOU DON'T WANNA MESS WITH ME TODAY SKY” I SAID. “YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH.”
“AND YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE THE SHIT I'VE HAD TO GO THROUGH.” SKY SAID.
I GRIPPED MY FISTS TOGETHER. THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TOUGH FIGHT. SKY HELD HIS GRIP ON THE SHOTGUN. I HAD TO SURPRISE HIM. I WAS GOING TO TWIRL OVER AND DODGE HIS SHOT AND THEN PLANT A BLADE RIGHT INTO HIS SIDE. I SLID ONE OF MY FEET BACK PREPARING FOR THE JUMP. THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE.
I LEAPED UP AND TWIRLED, AND SKY FIRED 2 SHOTS INTO MY STOMACH. I FLEW BACK INTO THE AIR AND LANDED IN THE OCEAN.
I FLOATED BACK OUT INTO THE SEA WHERE MY BLOOD MIXED WITH THE SALTWATER. MY VISION WAS FADING BUT I COULD SEE SKY WAS PUTTING AWAY HIS GUN AND WALKING AWAY.
SHARK FINS WERE COMING AT ME FROM A DISTANCE. I GAVE UP AND GAVE INTO DEATH.
THEN A SPEEDBOAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THE GUY ON IT SHOT THE SHARKS. HE PULLED ME ONTO THE BOAT.
“HMM..” HE SAID. “JAMEZ??”
THEN I PASSED OUT.
I WOKE UP IN A2.
“JAMEZ!” WOOD SAID.
“WOOD?” I SAID. “WHAT HAPPENED?”
“ABOVE TEXT” WOOD SAID.
“OH.” I SAID. “WHERE'S EVERYONE ELSE?
”
“...THEY DIDNT COME. THEY WERE ALL HOPING YOU WERE DEAD.” WOOD SAID. “IZZY WAS EVEN ABOUT TO PULL THE PLUG BUT THEN A COMMERCIAL FOR MCDONALDS DISTRACTED HIM.”
“SAVED BY MCDONALDS YET AGAIN.” I SAID.
NEK WALKED IN.
“AHH FINALLY AWAKE! OKAY LET'S GO!” NEK SAID.
“GO WHERE??” I SAID.
“WE HAVE TO GET THAT BLOOD MASK. IT WAS A MISSION FAILURE. NO WORRIES, WE HAVE A JET THIS TIME.” NEK SAID.
NEK CLAPPED HIS HANDS TOGETHER.
“SO. LET'S GO.” NEK SAID.
“I ALMOST DIED” I SAID. “CAN'T I REST? I MEAN JESUS.”
NEK STARED AT ME FOR A SECOND.
THEN HE STARTED LAUGHING.
“OF COURSE, OF COURSE, I'M JUST JOKING AROUND.” NEK SAID. “WOOD, LET'S GO. JAMEZ. YOU STAY HERE. YOU REST. LOL.”
“YEAH OKAY...” I SAID.
WOOD AND NEK LEFT THE ROOM.
“HMM..” I SAID. “WHAT IS THERE TO DO...”
I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW. IT WAS STILL RAINING.
“WHEN WILL THIS RAIN END??” I SAID.
I FELT A SHARP PAIN IN MY SHOULDER.
IT WAS NIGHT NOW AND VERY DARK. I HEARD A TAP ON MY WINDOW.
I LOOKED OVER. NOTHING.
I HEARD ANOTHER TAP.
NOTHING.
A BOLT OF LIGHTNING FLASHED AND I SAW EDDY'S MASK PRESSED UP AGAINST THE WINDOW. IT VANISHED WHEN THE FLASH DID.
“AHH!” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT ONE OF MY BLADES AND SMASHED THROUGH THE WINDOW BUT I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING.
A GUARD CAME IN.
“WTF??” HE SAID.
“YOU GOTTA STAY HERE MAN” I SAID. “THERE'S THIS GUY WHO KEEPS FOLLOWING ME OR SOMETHING”
“OKAY, WHO.” THE GUARD SAID.
“OKAY. HIS NAME IS SUPEREDDY HE HAS A HOOD AND EVERYTHING” I SAID.
“AND CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM.” THE GUARD SAID.
“HE HAS A HOOD...AND EVERYTHING” I SAID.
“IN DETAIL.” THE GUARD SAID.
“WELL..HE HAS THIS ONE MASK THAT SMILES AT YOU CREEPILY AND HE'S LIKE AMAZING AT FIGHTING HE HAS THESE BLADES AND STUFF” I SAID.
“...” THE GUARD SAID. “SOUNDS LIKE THE LEGEND OF MAGNETO.”
“WAT” I SAID.
“WELL AROUND AUSTRALIA, PEOPLE HAVE HAD THESE SIGHTINGS OF A “GHOST” OR SOME SORT. USUALLY HAPPENS AT NIGHT OR DURING RAIN.” THE GUARD SAID. “THE GHOST HELPS THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS AND CAN BE QUITE SCARY WHEN FIRST SEEN.”
“NO..NO...I'VE SEEN HIM DURING THE DAY.” I SAID.
“IN A FORREST?” THE GUARD SAID. “HE GETS A LOT OF FORREST SIGHTINGS.”
“OKAY WELL WHAT EXACTLY IS HIS LEGEND.” I SAID.
“MEH ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO PEOPLE STARTED SEEING THIS HOODED GUY IN A CREEPY MASK KILLING PEOPLE. WHEN THE POLICE WENT AFTER HIM HE DISAPEARED. THERE HAVE BEEN NUMEROUS UNCONFIRMED SIGHTINGS SINCE THEN. A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY HE'S A GHOST, BUT I THINK IT WAS JUST ONE GUY THE POLICE COULDN'T CATCH. THE OTHER SIGHTINGS ARE JUST BULLSHIT TO FUEL THE LEGEND.” THE GUARD SAID.
“SO YOU THINK IM BULLSHIT.” I SAID.
“I THOUGHT SO BEFORE YOU EVEN TOLD ME ABOUT THIS.” THE GUARD SAID. “WHEN SWC TOOK OVER THE SIGHTINGS NUMBER DECREASED. PROBABLY BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE TOO BUSY WORRYING ABOUT RK AND SUNNY TO MAKE UP LIES ABOUT SEEING A FAKE GHOST. MAKES SENSE DOESNT IT?”
“BUT I SAW HIM!” I SAID. “HE FUCKING THREW SAND IN MY EYES.”
“JAMEZ. STOP GETTING HIGH.” THE GUARD SAID.
THE GUARD WALKED OUT.
“NO DONT LEAVE ME!!” I SAID.
I LOOKED AT THE SMASHED WINDOW. WATER WAS FLOODING IN. HE COULD GET IN HERE EASILY NOW AND KILL ME.
I HAD A PLAN. I PUT MY ARMS UNDER THE BLANKET AND TOOK OUT MY BLADES. THE MINUTE THAT FUCKER JUMPS ON MY I END HIS LIFE ONCE AND FOR ALL.
IF HE HAD ONE.
“IS THERE A BROKEN WINDOW-” A GUY SAID.
“AHHH!” I SAID.
I SLASHED HIM WITH THE BLADES.
HE FELL OVER DEAD.
“OH FUCK” I SAID. “I'M SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GHOST.”
THE GUARD FROM BEFORE WALKED IN.
“WTF??” HE SAID.
“HE COULDN'T TAKE HIS JOB AS A WINDOW FIXER ANYMORE SO HE COMMITTED SUICIDE.” I SAID.
“WITH WHAT? YOUR BLOODY BLADES??” THE GUARD SAID.
I LOOKED AT MY BLADES. THEY WERE DRIPPING WITH BLOODS.
“THESE? NO THESE ARE...TAMPONS.” I SAID.
“ALRIGHT JAMEZ THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU KILL SOMEONE ACCIDENTLY.” THE GUARD SAID. “I'M TELLING EAZY.”
“NO! NO!!” I SAID.
THE GUARD RAN OUT OF THE ROOM.
“YOU ARE SO GROUNDED!” HE SAID.
“NO!! YOU'RE GROUNDED!” I SAID.
I GOT OFF THE BED AND RAN AFTER HIM.
THE GUARD RAN UP THE STAIRS. I FOLLOWED.
“CAN'T TELL EAZY IF YOU'RE BUSY FALLING DOWN STAIRS!” I SAID.
I GRABBEDHIS SHOULDER AND PULLED HIM BACK AND HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS. I LOOKED BACK LAUGHING AT HIM AND THEN I RAN INTO A POLE THAT WAS RANDOMLY PUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAIRCASE.
“HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING” THE POLE SAID.
“SORRY POLE.” I SAID.
THE GUARD RAN PAST ME.
“FUCK!” I SAID.
I TRIED TO CATCHUP WITH HIM.
I STOPPED.
“HA YOU IDIOT!” I SHOUTED AT HIM. “YOU RAN RIGHT PAST THE TELEPORTER THAT TELEPORTS YOU TO EAZY!”
I WALKED OVER TO THE TELEPORTER AND PULLED THE DOORS OPEN MYSELF.
“JAMEZ THATS AN ELEVATOR SHAFT!” THE GUARD SAID.
“HA HA YEEEAH RIGHT NICE TRY” I SAID. “YOU THINK I'VE NEVER PLAYED SUPER MARIO 64?”
THE GUARD RAN TO ME.
HE GRABBED ME.
“JAMEZ STOP YOU IDIOT” HE SAID.
“WANT IT ALL FOR YOURSELF EH?” I SAID.
I TRIED TO PULL HIM OFF ME BUT HE FELL INTO THE TELEPORTER. HE GRABBED ONTO THE EDGE.
“JAMEZ! JAMEZ HELP!” THE GUARD SAID.
“OOOOOOOOH!” I SAID. “I'M TELLIN!”
“NO JAMEZ HELP ME” THE GUARD SAID.
I STARTED RUNNING TO EAZY AGAIN. THE GUARD KEPT SHOUTING TO ME AS I RAN. SORE LOSER.
I GOT TO EAZY PANTING.
“JAMEZ, WHAT??” EAZY SAID.
“THAT ONE GUARD..HE WAS PLAYING...IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT..AND...HE BROKE YOUR WINDOW...AND HE WAS PLAYING KICKBALL IN THE HOUSE” I SAID.
“...” EAZY SAID. “WELL THAT SON OF A BITCH”
EAZY TOOK OUT HIS BELT.
“WHERE IS THIS MOTHER FUCKER” EAZY SAID.
“HE SHOULD BE TELEPORTING HE ANY SECOND.” I SAID.
THE ELEVATOR DINGED AND THE DOORS OPENED.
THE GUARD WALKED OUT WITH BRUISES ALL OVER HIM AND A LEG TORN OFF.
“FUCK. YOU.” HE SAID.
“CJ?” EAZY SAID.
“THIS MAAAAAAAAN” CJ SAID. “LEFT ME HANGING IN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT.”
“YOU WERE GONNA TELL ON ME WHAT DID YOU EXPECT.” I SAID.
“YOU'RE INSANE AND I JUST BLEEDED TO DEATH” CJ SAID.
CJ FELL ON THE GROUND.
“SOMEBODY GET IN HERE AND FIX HIM OR SOME SHIT.” EAZY SAID. “AND WHILE HE'S LAYING THERE...”
EAZY STARTED BEATING CJ WITH THE BELT.
“THAT'S FOR PLAYING KICKBALL!” EAZY SAID.
EAZY TOOK OUT A BIGGER BELT.
“I GOT THIS ONE FROM NICKSPARENTS.ORG.” EAZY SAID.
WHILE EAZY WENT TO TOWN ON CJ, I HEADED BACK DOWNSTAIRS.
I WENT BACK TO MY HOSPITOL ROOM. THE FLOOR AND WINDOW WERE ALL MUDDY NOW. THE MAN WAS GONE AS WAS ANY TRACES HE WAS EVER HERE.
A SMILEY FACE WAS CUT INTO MY BED.
“SDKNSDFKNSD” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT MY BLADES.
ONE SHOT OUT INTO A NURSE.
“OH GOD DAMMIT” I SAID.
I JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW.
“ALRIGHT EDDY WHERE ARE YOU” I SAID.
I WAITED OUTSIDE BUT HE NEVER SHOWED UP. I WENT BACK INSIDE.
EAZY WALKED IN.
“DAMMIT JAMEZ” EAZY SAID. “YOU GOT MUD ALL OVER THE PLACE AND CUT INTO YOUR BED??”
“NO!!! IT WAS SUPEREDDY!!!” I SAID.
“BULL” EAZY SAID. “CLEAN THIS UP WHILE I GO RAPE THIS NURSE.”
EAZY DRAGGED THE DEAD NURSE OUT OF THE ROOM.
I SIGHED.
THE NEXT MORNING MY TEAM CAME BACK.
“SO DID YOU GUYS FIND THE BLOOD VAGINA OR WHATEVER” I SAID.
“NO WE DIDN'T.” IZZY SAID. “BECAUSE APPARENTLY ASF HAS A HARD TIME PILOTING IN RAIN.”
“LOOK, THE RAIN WAS BRINGIN DOWN THE PLANE.” ASF SAID. “I HAVE REFRAIN FROM FLYING THIS BIG PLANE IN THE HEAVY RAIN. OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST INSANE.”
“WELL, IT'S NOT RAINING TODAY SO NOW WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME TO GO” NEK SAID.
IZZY STARTED SHAKING. HE GRABBED NEK.
“LISTEN. YOU. FUCKING. ASSHOLE.” IZZY SAID. “WE. WANT. SLEEP. WE FUCKING WANT SLEEP. OKAY????”
NEK STARTED LAUGHING.
“OF COURSE MAN I'M JUST KIDDING. WE'LL GO LATER.” NEK SAID.
NEK PATTED IZZY AND THEN WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
“FUCKIN HATE THIS GUY” IZZY SAID.
EVERYONE ELSE WALKED OUT.
“HM” I SAID. “WHAT IS THERE TO DO.”
THEN STEPH WALKED IN.
“HEY FUTURE DAD” STEPH SAID.
“OH JESUS.” I SAID.
“LOOK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE AROUND MORE TO HELP ME.” STEPH SAID.
“HELP YOU DO WHAT?” I SAID.
“EAT.” STEPH SAID. “I NEED FOOD. YOU HAVE TO GET IT.”
“NO. I DONT EVEN LIKE YOU” I SAID.
STEPH GRABBED ME.
“LISTEN YOU FUCKING DICK” STEPH SAID. “I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A HERO. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BROKEN ARM. I WILL DESTROY YOU.”
“TRUST ME. YOU'VE ALREADY DESTROYED MY PENIS WITH YOUR FACE.” I SAID.
“AND I WAS LOOKING THROUGH YOUR TEAM. WHO'S THIS WOOD GIRL. HM?” STEPH SAID.
“WTF. SHES MY TEAMMATE NOTHING EL-WAIT WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE WERE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP” I SAID.
“OF COURSE WE ARE. I'M NOT RAISING THIS BABY BY MYSELF.” STEPH SAID.
“FINE...” I SAID. “WE'LL JUST GO TO THE BABY STORE TODAY TO-SURPRISE ABORTION!!”
I TOOK OUT MY BLADES. BUT SOME GUY WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND RUINED IT.
“HELLO.” HE SAID.
I RETRACTED MY BLADES.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU.” I SAID.
“N_GAMER.” HE SAID.
“HAVENT I MET YOU ONCE..?” I SAID.
“MAYBE, BUT ITS A NEW STORY SO ALL THE CHARACTERS RESET.” N_GAMER SAID.
“OH. WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE.” I SAID.
“I AM THE VICE PRESIDENT OF A2.” N_GAMER SAID.
“I THOUGHT ASF WAS.” I SAID.
“NO.” N SAID. “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT”
“WELL I JUST SEE HIM WITH EAZY A LOT.” I SAID. “GUESS THEY'RE JUST LIFE PARTNERS.”
“WELL” N SAID. “I JUST LIKE GOING AROUND SEEING HOW ALL THE PATIENTS ARE DOING. GOOD DAY TO YOU.”
“YEAH BYE” I SAID.
N WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
“WELL THAT WAS ODD.” I SAID. “ANYWAYS WHERE WERE WE”
I TOOK OUT THE BLADES.
“HOLD IT JAMEZ” STEPH SAID. “I KNEW YOU'D TRY TO KILL THIS BABY BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU.”
“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? FIGHT ME?” I SAID.
“YES. IN COURT.” STEPH SAID.
“WHAT???” I SAID.
“I'M SUEING YOU FOR ATTEMPT AT ILLEGAL ABORTION.” STEPH SAID.
“WHAT!!!” I SAID. “I'LL SEE YOU THERE BITCH! IMMA HAVE A LAWYER AND EVERYTHING!”
“WELL. I GUESS YOUR NOT THE FATHER I THOUGHT YOU WERE WHEN WE GOT MARRIED.” STEPH SAID.
“WERE NOT MARRIED!” I SAID.
“OH BY THE WAY WHEN YOU WERE SLEEPING LAST NIGHT WE GOT MARRIED.” STEPH SAID.
“YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!” I SAID.
“I CAN. AND I DID.” STEPH SAID. “AND IM GONNA DIVORCE YOU, AND IM GOING TO GET THOSE BLADES.”
“WTF” I SAID. “YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH”
“SO NOW YOU'RE VERBALLY ABUSING ME?” STEPH SAID. “GOTTA TELL MY LAWYER ABOUT THIS.”
“I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO KILL YOU.” I SAID.
“THREATNING ME!!” STEPH SAID.
“GOD DAMMIT” I SAID.
“PROFANITY INFRONT OF THE CHILD?” STEPH SAID.
“HE ISNT EVEN BORN YET!” I SAID.
“THAT DOESNT MEAN HE DOESNT HAVE EARS YET” STEPH SAID.
“...HE DOESNT.” I SAID. “YOU'RE 5 DAYS PREGNANT. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ARMS YET. FOR THAT MATTER HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW YOUR PREGNANT.”
STEPH SLAPPED ME. THEN SHE WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
“WHAT WAS THAT FOR” I SAID.
I RAN OUT OF THE ROOM.
“SOMEONE'S GOTTA BE A LAWYER AROUND HERE...” I SAID.