Fear in NR

HALLO MY NAME IS SHIDO. I JUST BOUGHT THIS JOURNAL AND AM VERY EXCITED TO BEGIN WRITEING IN IT. HM SOMETHING ABOUT ME WELL I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THIS STORY. UM SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT ME UM I AM A 3RD CORP GENERAL COMMANDER CAPTAIN CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT 2ND TIMES PETTY OFFICER 2ND PRESTIGE AT NINTENDO REVOLUTION. WHAT IS NINTENDO REVOLUTION? GLAD YOU ASKED YOU STUPID JOURNAL. WELL U SEE, NINTENDO REVOLUTION (OR NR AS THE LAZY ONES CALL IT) IS THE CURRENT DOMINANT ARMY OF THE WORLD. WE OWN THE UNITED KINGDOM, ENGLAND, BRITAIN, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT IS THE UNITED KINGDOM. WE ALSO OWN AMERICA, JAPAN, RUSSIA, GERMANY, AND EVERY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. BUT ANYWAYS I MUST START THE STORY BECAUSE I AM VERY BORED. THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW NR BECAME SOOOOO POWERFUL.
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN NAMED AJKID. HE DIED AND SOME KID NAME AJ TOOK HIS PLACE. HE WENT TO THE STRONGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, FRIENDCODIA, AND SAID "HEY, LETS GO MAKE A COUNTRY CALLED FRIENDCODIA THE COUNTRY, SO ORIGINAL AMIRITE."
SO ALOT OF PEOPLE SAID OKAY AND STUFF LIKE THAT. SO THEY ALL JOINED FRIENDCODIA THE COUNTRY. WELL SOON FRIENDCODIA GOT MAD AND SAID "HEY YOU ALL BEST COME BACK TO FRIENDCODIA YA HEAR OR WE'LL NUKE YOUR COUNTRY."
BUT AJ SAID "IDC" AND WAS WILLING TO MAKE THE SACRIFICE. YES. AJ SAID THAT. EVERYONE ELSE MOVED THEIR ASSES BACK TO FRIENDCODIA. SO AJ WAS LIKE "WELL SCREW THAT I'LL GO JOIN RUSSIA."
SO AJ JOINED RUSSIA AND CLIMBED THE LADDERS TO THEIR MAIN SOURCE OF POWER VERY QUICKLY. JOSEPH STALIN 2.0 WAS QUICKLY MURDERED BY AN UNKNOWN PERSON, WHEN AJ BECAME VICE RULER OF RUSSIA. SO AJ BECAME THE RULER OF RUSSIA AND DEMANDED EVERYONE START MAKING NUKES. EVERYONE. FRIENDCODIA, AND THE UNITED STATES (OR WHAT USED TO BE CALLED THE US. IT IS NOW CALLED DON'T FUCK WITH US LAND.) AND CHINA BECAME SCARED OF RUSSIAS GROWING NUCLEAR POWER. SO THEY SENT DAROCK YOMOMMA (CURRENT DONT FUCK WITH US LAND PRESIDENT) TO RUSSIA TO TELL AJ TO STOP MAKING NUKES. BUT AJ SAID "NO WAY WERE MAKIN NUKES."
AND DAROCK SAID "WE'LL HAVE TO STOP YOU THEN."
AND AJ SAID "OYA HOW YA GONNA DO THAT."
AND DAROCK SAID "PERM BAN ON XAT.COM"
AND AJ SAID "YOU SOMOFABISH"
AND DAROCK SAID "SO STOP MAKIN NUKES KTHXBAI"
AND AJ SAID "DAROCK, I CHALLENGE DFWUL TO A FLAME WAR. WHOEVER WINS GETS ALL THE NUKES IN THE WORLD."
SO DAROCK SAID "OKAY, BUT BE WARNED. WE'RE THE USA BITCH. WE GOT RACISTS, SEXISTS, HOMOPHOBICS, YOU NAME IT. WE'LL FLAME YOUR ASS OFF."
SO AJ SAID "OKAY THEN, I GET TO PICK YOUR FLAME PARTNER AND YOU PICK MINE."
AND DAROCK SAID "THATS COOL."
AND AJ SAID "YOUR FLAME PARTNER IS THE UK."
AND DAROCK SAID "OSHI WERE GONNA LOSE. OK BUT I STILL GET TO PICK YOURS AND YOU GET MEXICO."
AND AJ SAID "K"
SO THE UK AND DFWUL AND RUSSIA AND MEXICO HAD A TOURNEY. A TOURNEY FOR THE BEST FLAME WARER AROUND. DFWUL'S CHAMPION? SAILINGDREAMER. UK'S CHAMPION? ZARIF (THERE ARE SOME VERY BAD FLAMERS IN THE UK). MEXICO'S CHAMPION? TAYLOR SWIFT. RUSSIAS CHAMPION? AJ OF COURSE.
SO THE BATTLE BEGAN WITH SAILING DREAMER SAYING "58-23745-8475457578458-74-25-34854UTWIORUWJHRFOPWIERHFPREFPODNHFPSDNF FUCK YOU ALL -4895-34895-34895-"
AND ZARIF SAID "SING ALONG WITH ME Y'ALL 'N-O-T-H-I-N-G, WHAT RUSSIA AND MEXICO MEAN TO ME"
BUT RUSSIA AND MEXICO WERE STRONGER WITH TAYLOR SWIFT SAYING "BITCH DONT EVEN TRY THAT I WILL END YOU BITCH I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE I OWN THE FUCKING PO-LICE." AND AJ SAYING "WHO GAY? YOU GAY!"
EVENTUALLY SALINGDREAMER AND ZARIF ACCEPTED DEFEAT, AND AJ SHOT SAILINGDREAMERS HEAD OFF, AND ZARIF WAS SENTENCED TO 20 YEARS OF SLOW DEATH.
DAROCK STOOD DEFEATED ON A CLIFF LOOKING AT HIS POOR COUNTRY. IT WOULD HAVE TO GIVE UP ALL ITS NUKES TO RUSSIA. AND THEN AJ CAME AND PUSHED DAROCK OFF THE CLIFF. HE SKULL BURSTED OUT OF HIS HEAD. EYES STRINGING OUT. BONES CRACKED. TEETH TURNED INTO DUST. BLOODY REMAINS LEFT ON ROCKS. DAROCK DIED IMMEDIATLY...1 DAY LATER.
RUSSIA NOW HAD ALL OF DONT FUCK WITH US LAND'S NUKES, NOT TO MENTION DFWUL GAVE INTO RUSSIA AND BEGGED IT TO SPARE IT IF DFWUL BEGAN A PART OF RUSSIA. AJ WAS NOW THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, AND PEOPLE AT FRIENCODIA WERE GETTING WORRIED. FRIENCODIA'S LEADER, COREY, DECIDED TO SEND OUT HIS BEST SOLDIER TO TRY TO TAKE DOWN RUSSIA FROM THE INSIDE. "I WILL SEND YOU TO DEFEAT THIS MENACE, JACKATTACK." COREY SAID.
AND JACKATTACK SAID "LOLWUT."
AND COREY SAID "JUST GET OUT OF HERE YOU DIPSHIT."
SO JACKATTACK LEFT AND WENT TO RUSSIA POSEING WITH A NEW NAME. HE WAS NOW ZACKATTACK, A RUSSIAN MAYOR. SOON AJ FOUND JACKATTACK OR ZACKATTACK TO BE VERY USEFUL IN HIS PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. HE MOVED JZACK TO GENERAL OF THE ARMY. COREY WAS VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS. IT WAS THEN THAT JZACK LEARNED ABOUT A PLANNED WAR IN TAKING OVER FRIENDCODIA. BUT AJ HAD BEEN SUSPICIOUS ABOUT JZACK FOR A LONG TIME. I KNEW THERE WAS A JACKATTACK WHO WAS HIGH RANKED IN FRIENDCODIA. HE TOLD HIS BEST STRATEGIEST JAMEZ "HELP ME FIND OUT IS ZACKATTACK IS JACKATTACK."
AND SO JAMEZ SAID " HEY ZACKATTACK CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME PROFILE ON FRIENDCODES.COM"
AND SO JZACK WENT, AND THEN JAMEZ PLAN WORKED. HE SAW JACKATTACKS NAME IN HIS MOST RECENT VISITS. JAMEZ TOLD AJ. THEN LATE THAT NIGHT, AJ TOLD JACKATTACK THEY WOULD BE ATTACKING FRIENDCODIA FROM THE EAST SIDE THAT NIGHT. SO JACKATTACK TOLD COREY. SO COREY PUT ALL HIS MEN ON THE EAST SIDE. BUT UM WTF WHY WOULD THEY ATTACK FROM THEY EAST SIDE, THEY GOT NUKES. SO RUSSIA CAME IN FROM THE WEST SIDE AND NUKED THE CITY OF RIKSBLOG. THE CITY OF RIKSBLOG WAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED. THE PEOPLE OF RIKSBLOG CRIED IN PAIN, SOME IN HORROR, SOME IN RELIEF THAT THEY DIDNT HAVE TO READ RIKS BLOG ANYMORE. BUT COREY WEPT AT THE SIGHT HE SAW.
THEN COREY GOT A PM FROM AJ. IT SAID "OF YOU DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOUR WHOLE COUNTRY, SURRENDER FOWL BEING."
BUT COREY DIDNT SURRENDER BECAUSE HES KIND OF RETARDED (JK COREY :3). AND THE PEOPLE OF FRIENDCODIA WERE LIKE UM WTF YOU ASSWIPE SURRENDER. BUT COREY SAID NO. SO EVERYONE FROM FRIENDCODIA EXCEPT COREY MOVED TO RUSSIA. THAT NIGHT, COREY GOT NUKED. JAMEZ SAID "UM WTF WHY'D WE WASTE ONE NUKE ON ONE GUY."
AND AJ SAID "MAKE EVERY BULLET COUNT!"
AND JAMEZ SAID "UM OKAY?"
AND AJ SAID "JAMEZ USE THEIR WEAPONS AGAINST THEM!"
AND JAMEZ SAID "UM OKAY?"
BUT THE COD QUOTES STOPPED AFTER AJ RECIEVED A SIGNAL FROM THE UK. THEY SAID "WE DONT LIKE YOU NOT ONE BIT, WE DONT LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTER QUIT!"
AND JAMEZ SAID "NO, WERE NOT GONNA QUIT RITE AJ?"
AND AJ SAID "RIGHT."
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ACTUALLY THINKING RIGHT NOW, UM WTF HAPPENED TO JACKATTACK STUPID WRITER FORGOT ABOUT HIM, WELL I DIDNT HES TAKING A VACATION IN HAWAII. AND ALSO SOME OF YOU WHO ARE THINKING UM WTF DOES SHIDO HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS? ACCORDING TO HIM, SHIDO IS THE FUCKIN MAIN CHARACTER. WELL THIS IS JUST SORT OF AN INTRODUCTION SO CALM YOUR ASSES DOWN, MKAY?
ANYWAYS.
THE UK SAID, "YOU FORGOT ONE THING, YES YOU DID, OUR NUKES WE NEVER GOT RID. WE STILL HAVE OUR NUKES AND THEY CAN KILL YOU, SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT INSERT RHYME HERE."
BUT AJ SAID " BRING IT ON. WE CAN TAKE YOU."
SO THE UK BOMBED THE RUSSIAN CITY OF GAMESANDNONSENSE, BUT LUCKILY THE ONLY ONES THERE WERE COOLZA AND METANIC. "DAMMIT" SAID THE CURRENT UK LEADER, SOMBRITISHGUI.
"WE WILL MAKE YOU A DEAL. IF YOU FREE ZARIF, WE WILL JOIN YOUR COUNTRY" SOMBRITISHGUY TOLD AJ.
"ZARIF? OH YES, HE HAS GONE COMPLETELY INSANE NOW. HE THINKS HIS NAME IS BRAWLERGUY. BUT YOU CAN HAVE HIM."
6 DAYS AFTER HIS RELEASE, ZARIF WAS KILLED IN A DRIVE-BY. BUT THE UK WAS NOW APART OF RUSSIA, WHICH MEANS SO WAS CANADA AND AUSTRALIA. THEN ONE DAY AJ SAID "IM RENAMEING RUSSIA. IT IS NOW CALLED NR, FOR NOT RUSSIA."
AND JAMEZ SAID "THATS RETARDED. LETS NAME IT NINTENDO REVOLUTION."
DID I MENTION JAMEZ WAS HIGH WHEN HE SAID THAT. AND AJ MUST HAVE BEEN TO, BECAUSE AJ AGREED WITH IT.
NOW, WHO AM I, BUT JUST A SMALL FRIENDCODIA IMMIGRANT WHO MOVED TO NR. WELL, I WAS 6 WHEN AJ THREATENED TO BOMB ALL OF FRIENDCODIA. SO I MOVED TO NR WHEN I WAS 6. AND NOW IM LIKE IDK ROUGHLY AROUND THE AGE OF 15--I MEAN 30. THE REAL ADVENTURE OF NR, DOESN'T BEGIN UNTIL 5 YEARS LATER, WHEN I BECAME A SOLDIER.

IMAGINE ME, SHIDO, AS AN 11 YEAR OLD BOY. FRIGHTNING, YES, BUT THAT WAS THE TIME I BECAME A SOLDIER. SEE, NR NEEDED ALL THE SOLDIERS THEY COULD GET. WHAT WITH A WAR GOING ON WITH THE KWEENS OF BERALL. SO THEY GAVE ME A RIFLE AND A HELEMT AND SAID “IF YA GET SHOT AT SHOOT, AND IF YA SHOOT GET PREPARED TO GET SHOT AT.”
I SOON MET ANOTHER BOY AROUND MY AGE THERE. HIS NAME WAS CRIS BUT HE WAS SO HORNY EVERYONE CALLED HIM HYPER. WE BECAME QUICK FRIENDS.
I WOULD SAY “HOW YA DOIN HYPAH”
AND HE’D SAY “AS GOOD AS A FURRY CAN BE”
I NEVER KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT. FURRIES. HM. BUT IT SOUNDS SEXY.
WE NEVER ACTUALLY WENT INTO BATTLE THERE. THEY JUST KEPT US THERE BECAUSE OF THE CONTROLLING GOVERNAMENT. NO ONE WANTED TO BE THERE, NO ONE REALLY HAD TO BE THERE, BUT FOR SOME DAMN REASON THE LAW MADE YOU GO THERE. OH, WAIT I’VE GONE OFF TOPIC, I’M TALKING ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL NOW. BUT ANYWAYS WE SAT AROUND AND TALKED. EVEN THOUGH HYPER WAS MY BEST FRIEND THERE, THERE WERE OTHER PEOPLE THERE THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH ME TOO. PEOPLE LIKE NICK AND KOOKYMIME.
NICK WAS ALWAYS VERY QUIET, NEVER TALKED VERY MUCH, AND FOR SOME REASON EVERYTIME I SAW HIM HE’D SAY “I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK”
AND KOOKYMIME. WHAT A LITTLE WEASLE. KOOKYMIME SHOT MY HAND OFF ONE DAY. WE HAD A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THAT.
BUT THEN ONE DAY OUR GROUND GOT A MESSAGE. A MESSAGE FROM JAMEZ, THE TOP GENERAL. IT SAID “WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS DOWN ON THE SOUTH SIDE. BRING THE LITTLE BOYS.”
SO OUR CAMP CAPTAIN XERO SAID “A’IGHT WERE GOIN DOWN TO THE SOUTH SIDE TO FIGHT THE KWEENS OF BERALL. GET A GUN AND LESA GO.”
SO I TOOK MY LAZOR GUN AND WE GOT TO FLY IN PLANES AND THEN THEY DROPPED US OUT OF THE PLANES AND SOME PEOPLE FORGOT THEIR PARACHUTES AND TURNED INTO STREET ART ON THE BATTLEFIELD. BUT LUCKILY I REMEMBERED MINE. OYA KOOKYMIME WAS ONE OF THE ONES WHO FORGOT THEIR PARACHUTE AND HE LANDED RIGHT ON TOP OF SOME KWEEN. THEY BOTH DIED.
BUT ANYWAYS WHEN I LANDED THERE WERE BULLETS FLYING EVERYWHERE. AND THEN I GOT SHOT 5 TIMES AND FELL DOWN. THEN I WENT TO SLEEP.
WHEN I WOKE UP I WAS IN A KWEENS OF BERALL PRISON CAMP. UM IDK WHY THEY THOUGHT I WAS ALIVE IF I WAS SHOT AND ON THE GROUND UNKONCHESNES BUT THEY TOOK ME ANYWAY. ONE OF THEIR SOLDIERS CAME UP TO ME AND SAID IT WAS MY TURN TO BE TORTURED. SO I SAID OKAY I AND WAS PREPARED FOR ANYTHING. THEY TOOK ME INTO THIS ROOM WITH A COMPUTER IN IT. I SAID “K WUT R WE GOING 2 DO HERE.”
AND THE SOLDIER SAID “WERE GOING TO GIVE YOU NEG KARMA ON FC.COM”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I SCREAMED OUT.
THOSE SICK BASTARDS GAVE ME NEG KARMA UNTIL I HAD ONE ORANGE….THING. I THOUGHT MY TORTURE WAS COMPLETED. I LIED THERE GASPING FOR AIR. BUT THEN THEY SAID “NOW YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A THREAD ENTITLED ‘WHO IS THE WORST CHARACTER IN BRAWL’ AND YOU MUST TALK SHIT ABOUT META KNIGHT.”
“NO!” I TOLD THEM. “JUST FINISH ME OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
SO THEY SAID “K” AND TOOK OUT A BIG GUN AND SHOT ME IN THE HEAD.
I AWOKE AN HOUR LATER. IT TURNS OUT THE BULLET COMPLETELY MISSED MY BRAIN SOMEHOW. BUT I GUESS THEY DIDN’T KNOW THAT CAUSE THEY BUT ME IN A PILE OF DEAD GUYS AND WE WERE ABOUT TO GET TOSSED INTO A FIRE TO BURN. AND WHO DO I SEE TOSSING BODIES INTO THE FIRE? WELL IT WAS NONE OTHER THAN NICK.
SO I SAID “UM NICK WTF Y U KILLING R FRIENDS”
AND NICK SAID “CUZ IM A DOUBLE AGENT DUH I WAS WORKIN FOR THE KWEENS OF BERALL THE WHOLE TIME.”
“OH NOEZ” I SAID. “WELL CAN YOU COME BACK TO OUR SIDE PLZ”
AND NICK SAID “NO”
AND I SAID “PLZ”
AND HE SAID “NO. AND NOW I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT DEAD.”
SO I WAS SCARED THAT I WAS GOING TO DIE BUT THEN HYPER CAME UP BEHIND NICK AND KNOCKED HIM OUT WITH A PS3!
AND HYPER SAID “I KNEW THESE PS3S WERE GOOD FOR SOMETHING.”(please hold all flames until the end of the story)
AND I SAID “WTF R U DOIN HERE”
AND HYPER SAID “O WERE LIBERATIN THIS CAMP”
AND I SAID “COOL.”
SO THEN I GOT MYSELF LIBERATED AND THEN WE BURIED NICK IN THE MOST HONORABLE OF CEMETARIES CUZ EVEN THO HE WAS A TRAITOR HE WAS A GOOD MOD SO WE STILL LOVED HIM.
AND THEN WHEN I GOT BACK TO MY OLD CAMP OUR CAPTAIN XERO HAD BEEN CONFIRMED MISSING IN ACTION BUT MOST LIKELY DEAD BUT COULD BE ALIVE. SO SINCE WE HAD NO CAPTAIN I GOT TO BECOME CAPTAIN SO I SAID “UM K.”
MEANWHILE, AS I SWITCHED TO 3RD PERSON OMNISCENT, THE KWEENS OF BERALL, MAJESTIC STUPIDITY(MT), AND THE STUPID WIGGERS COUNTRY(SWC), WERE HAVIN A MEETING. IT WAS A MEETING BETWEEN THEIR LEADERS. THE LEADER OF KWEENS OF BERALL WAS ASHLEY, MTS LEADER WAS DAN (VERY CREATIVE NAMES SO FAR AMIRITE WELL CHECK OUT THIS ONE), AND SWCS LEADER WAS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE WHO I WAS EVEN ATTRACTED TO AND HIS NAME WAS SUNNYCIDE. THEY WAS HAVIN A MEETING ABOUT NR AND HOW POWERFUL IT WAS GETTING.
“THEY R 2 POWERFUL” ASHLEY SAID “THEY R DESTROYIN MAH ARMIEZ”
“MT SHALL JOIN THE WAR ON UR SIDE, MS. FEMINIST.” DAN SAID. “AND WE’LL BUY THE BEST MERCENARIES AROUND, SMAC”
‘ROFL FUCK DAT SHIT I AINT GOIN TO NO WAR MY COUNTRY IS HAPPY THE WAY IT IS” SUNNY SAID.
SO DAN SAID “UMWUT NO U GET IN THIS WAR NOW WE NEED UR SOLDIERS”
AND SUNNY SAID “NO”
SO DAN SAID “FINE THEN WE CONSIDER YOU AN ENEMY AND WE WILL NOW BE CALLING OUR SWC FRIES, FREEDOM FRIES.”
AND SUNNY SAID “BITCH IDC”

BY THE TIME I HAD REACHED THE AGE OF 15 THE KWEENS OF BERALL HAD BEEN COMPLETELY DESTROYED. ALL THAT REMAINED IN THE PATH OF NR, WAS KWEENS OF BERALL’S ALLY, MT. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO ASHLEE AFTER KWEENS OF BERALL WAS VANQUISHED. SOME SAY SHE SLIT HER OWN WRISTS. OTHERS SAY SHE WATCHED THE LOVE GURU UNTIL HER EYES CAUGHT ON FIRE AND SHE DIED. OTHERS SAY SHE GOT A SEX CHANGE.
DAN HATED THE FACT HE WAS IN THE WAR ALONE. WELL NOT TOTALLY ALONE OF COURSE HE HAD AN ARMY, BUT EMOTIONALLY ALONE…IF THAT’S HOW’D YOU DESCRIBE IT. ALSO, WITH AHSLEE DEAD, HE HAD NO ONE TO SUCK HIS…ERM MAYBE WE SHOULDN’T GO INTO THAT. WELP, ANYWAYS, WITH THE WAR WITH MT GOING ON AND NR CONTROLLING, EVERYTHING EXCEPT MT AND SWC, THE WORLD KIND OF LOOKED LIKE THIS:

SO AS YOU CAN SEE, WE FLANKED THEM PRETTY WELL. THE ONLY TROUBLE WE WERE HAVING WAS, WHICH NUKE SHOULD WE USE? POWERFUL OR SUPER POWERFUL? AJ TOLD DAN HE WAS GOING TO TAKE THE REST OF MT AND KILL EVERYONE THERE IF HE DID NOT SURRENDER. BUT DAN CONTINUED TO WAR NR. FINALLY AJ DECIDED THERE WOULD BE A BATTLE TO END IT ALL, AND TURN MT’S ONCE POPULATED LAND INTO DUST.
“WE WILL BE SENDIN IN R BEST SQUADS” AJ SAID IN A BIG ANNOUCEMENT.
“THAT WOULD BE THE FOLLING SQUADS: *AHEM* JAMEZ’S SQUAD, TOM’S SQUAD, JOE’S SQUAD,UM, THE MAIN CHARACTER’S SQUAD BECAUSE THE STORY WOULD BE BORING IF HE DIDN’T GO, AND UM, OH YES, THE MAIN CHARACTER’S RIVAL’S SQUAD, METANIC’S SUQAD, BECAUSE IT MAKES THE STORY MORE INTERESTING.”
IT WAS TRUE. METANIC WAS MY BIGGEST RIVAL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE ON THE SAME SIDE. OR SO I THOUGHT. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? FORSHADOWING. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? BROKE THE FOURTH WALL.
THE ATTACK WAS SIMPLE. COME IN FROM THE WEST AT 5:00 PM WEDNESDAY, AND BE HOME BY FRIDAY SO WE COULD GO SEE THE PREMIRE OF THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. MY SQUAD CONSISTED OF 5 PEOPLE. ME, THE LEADER, ZENKU, THE GUY WITH THE BOMBZ, ZARIF JR., ZARIF’S SON AND ALSO THE SNIPER, NINTENDOGIRL, WHO HAD MACHINE GUNZ, AND MEGIRL, WHO PRETTY MUCH JUST BROUGHT CRACK WITH HER SO WE COULD DO IT WHILE HIDING BEGIND SANDBAGS.
WE WALKED TO MT (EVEN THOUGH WE HAD CARS SO YTF DID WE HAVE TO WALK) THROUGH DESERT, STORMS, BLIZARDS, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN HAPPEN IN THE LOWER PART OF FLORIDA. AT LAST WE REACHED THE BORDERS OF MT. THERE, GUARDING THE BORDER, WAS NONE OTHER THAN ~MATT. HE SAW US WITH GUNZ AND SAID “HEY WATCHA DOIN WITH THEM GUNS”
AND METANIC SAID “DESTROYING MT”
AND I SAID “WHAT HE MEANS IS, WERE DELIVERING SUPPLIES TO MT.”
AND ~MATT SAID “UMWUT WAIT INO YOU UR FROM NR”
AND METANIC SAID “OSHI”
AND METANIC BLEW ~MATTS HEAD OFF. THEN I GOT AN IDEA.
“SOMEONE TAKE HIS UNIFORM AND SNEAK INTO THEIR WHITE HOUSE AND KILL DAN.” I SAID.
THEN ZENKU SAID “UM WE HAVE GUNS AND BOMBS, CANT WE JUST GO AND BOMB THE WHITE HOUSE WITHOUT THE UNIFROM?”
AND I SAID “YES BUT IT SETS UP A FUNNIER PLOTLINE IF WE DO IT MY WAY.”
AND ZARIF JR. SAID “I’LL DO IT. IMAGINE ME, STUPID AS HELL, TRYING TO FOOL THE GOVERNMENT. THIS WILL BE HILARIOUS.”
SO ZARIF JR. PUT ON ~MATT’S UNIFORM AND WENT DOWN TO THE WHITE HOUSE. MEANWHILE METANIC SAID “LETS GO INTO MT, AND KILL SOME PEOPLE CAUSE IT’S FUNNY.”
SO EVERYONE AGREED. SO THE 5 SQUADS MARCHED INTO MT. SHORTLY AFTER, TOM AND JOE’S SQUAD GOT AIDS AND DIED, BECAUSE THEY REALLY HAD NO USE TO THIS STORY. THEN JAMEZ SAID “WAIT IM THE HIGHEST RANK HERE, SO I SAY WE BLOW UP THAT TACO BELL OVER THERE.”
SO EVERYONE WENT TO THE TACO BELL.
MEANWHILE, AS I SWITCHED TO 3RD PERSON OMNISCENT AGAIN, A MAN NAMED TACO WAS MAKING HIS WAY TO HIS BUSINESS: TACO BELL. IT HAD BEEN HIS MOST PROUD EVENT IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE. A SUCCESFUL BUSINESS. HE COULDN’T WAIT TO GO TO THE TACO BELL TO SEE THE SMILEING FACES OF WHITE PEOPLE WHO ENJOYED EATING HIS TACOS. HE HATED THE WAR, HE HATED ALL WAR, AND WANTED IT TO STOP. SO HIS TACOS WERE AWAY TO RELEASE HIS EMOTIONS ABOUT THE WAR. EVERYDAY HE’D ASKED “AND WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FUCK-WAR HOT SAUCE WITH THAT?”
HE FINALLY SAW HIS TACO BELL IN THE DISTANCE.
“THERE YOU ARE!” HE CRIED TO IT.
HE MARCHED DOWN THE STREET HAPPILY. AND THEN, HE SAW HIS TACO BELL BLOW UP.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”
HE SCREAMED.
HE RAN TO WHAT WAS ONCE HIS TACO BELL. HE SAW JAMEZ, METANIC, ME, MY SQUAD, BUT JAMEZ AND METANIC’S SQUAD BLEW UP WITH TACO BELL BECAUSE I REALLY DIDN’T FEEL LIKE ADDING DETAIL TO THEM. THE TACO BELL WAS IN RUINS. TACO DROPPED TO HIS KNEES AND STARED AT THE GROUND. HE BEGAN TO CRY.
“WHO WOULD DO THIS….?!” HE ASKED.
“HELLO RETARD IT WAS ME WITH THE BOMBS RITE HERE.” ZENKU SAID.
“YOU DON’T KNOW WUT THIS TACO BELL MEANT TO ME” TACO SAID. “WHY’D U BLOW IT UP”
“UMCUS WERE FROM NR AND THERES A WAR GOIN ON” I SAID.
“WAR? WAR BLEW UP MY TACO BELL! RRRRRRARRRWDWRADARRRGGHHH!!!!!” TACO YELLED.
TACO RAN INTO THE DISTANCE AND WE COULDN’T SEE HIM ANYMORE. BUT SOMETHING TOLD ME WE’D SEE HIM AGAIN FORSHADOWING FTW. BUT ANYWAYS, LET’S GO TO ZARIF JR.
ZARIF JR. WALKED RIGHT INTO THE WHITE HOUSE. “HELLO, HAI” HE SAID TO EVERYONE.
FINALLY HE ENTERED DAN’S ROOM. ZARIF JR. PULLED OUT A GUN, BUT TRIED VERY HARD TO HIDE IT. DAN WAS SITTING IN HIS CHAIR DOING PAPER WORK.
“HI HOW CAN I HALP U.” DAN ASKED ZARIF JR WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING UP.
“YOU CAN HALP ME BY DIEING!” ZARIF SAID TRYING TO MAKE A COOL ONE LINER.
DAN LOOKED UP AND SAW A GUN POINTING RIGHT IN HIS FACE,
“SEE YOU IN HEAVEN-ER-HELL-ER-WAIT DID YOU REPENT-OR-UGH! JUST DIE!” ZARIF JR SAID.
AND RIGHT AS HE WAS ABOUT TO PULL THE TRIGGER, SKY CAME RIGHT UP BEHIND ZARIF JR, AND SHOT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. ZARIF JR’S FACE EXPLODED ONTO DANS FACE. ZARIF JR FELL DOWN ON THE FLOOR, DEAD.
“GOOD JOB SKAI” DAN SAID WIPEING THE BLOOD OFF OF HIS FACE. “NOW THAT WE KNOW NR FORCES ARE IN HERE, WE SHOULD TIGHTEN THE SECURITY AROUND HERE”
AND SKY SAID “YES, AND SMAC WILL HELP PROTECT MT FROM NR.”
“YES.” DAN SAID. “YES”
SO BACK TO MY STORY, WE WERE GOING AROUND BLOWING UP FAST FOOD RESTURAUNTS, WHEN A WHOLE LINE OF MT TROOPS CAME DOWN THE STREETS. WE HID IN ALLYS, ME, ZENKU, METANIC, JAMEZ, NINTENDOGIRL, AND MEBALL.
IN FRONT OF THE LINES WAS DRAGOOMBA FROM SMAC. SMAC WUZ A SMALL GROUP OF SUPER SOLDIERS. JUST SEEING DRAGOOMBA MADE ME PISS MYSELF. THEN SEEING A BILLBOARD OF A NEW ICARLY EPISODE MADE ME SHIT MYSELF.
“OMFG GUYS LOOK A NEW ICARLY EPISODE YES!” I SCREAMED.
DRAGOOMBA HEARD ME. HE SENT HIS LINE OF TROOPS DOWN TO OUR ALLY.
“OSHI NOW WERE GONNA DIE” JAMEZ SAID.
“NO!” MEBALL SAID. “I’M A MINOR CHARACTER, YOU GUYS GO! GO NOW, I’LL COVER YOU!”
SO WE ALL RAN DEEP DOWN THE ALLY AS MEBALL STOOD UP WITH HER MACHINE GUN. SHE SAID “K BEETCHES, WHO WANTS SUM??”
BUT THEN A GRENADE LANDED BY HER FOOT, AND HER FEET BLEW UP.
“IM STILL ALIVE!” SHE YELLED.
SHE BEGAN SHOOTING AT THE TROOPS, BUT BECAUSE OF SO MUCH CRACK SHE MISSED EVERY SHOT. THEN A GRENADE LANDED IN HER MOUTH.
“IM USF TO SMUCKING ROUND OMJECTFFF.” MEBALL SAID WITH THE GRENADE IN HER MOUTH, LEAVING THE READER TO DECODE WHAT SHE SAID AND THEN BE LIKE “OOOOH! NASTY! HAHAHAHAHAHA”
AND THEN THE GRENADE BLEW UP AND SO DID MEBALLS HEAD.
WHILE IT BLEW UP, YOU COULD HEAR MEBALL’S LAST WORDS “ATLEAST I ACTUALLY GOT MY OWN PART UNLIKE KOOKYMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMEEE!!!!!!!”
THAT’S ENOF 4 ONE CHAPTER.

BY THE TIME WE REACHED THE DEEPEST DARKEST SEXIEST PART OF THE ALLY, WE HAD REALIZED IT WAS A DEAD END.
“OSHIOSHIOSHIOSHI” JAMEZ KEPT SAYING.
“WAIT” NINTENDOGIRL SAID. “I CAN CALL IN SUM JETS TO BOMB THEIR SOULJERS.”
AND JAMEZ SAID “DO IT YOU BITCH!”
AND NINTENDOGIRL SAID “MMMK”
SO SHE CALLED IN SOME JETS THAT WERE BEING FLOWN BY XERO.
“OWUT I THOUGHT HE WAS MIA” I SAID.
“NAW DEY FOUND HIM LONG AGO” ZENKU SAID.
“ODATS GOOD. I HOPE HE HAS MORE SCREENTIME NOW.” I SAID.
AND THEN THE WRITER SAID “K IM DONE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL FOR THIS STORY. NO MORE FOURTH WALL JOKES.”
SO THE JETS CAME FAST AND THEY FLEW OVER THE ALLY. THE SOLJOURS OF MT WERE SO CLOSE TO US, I COULD HAVE LICKED ONE OF THEM. GROSS INORITE.
BUT THEN IT GOT ME THINKING. IF THE JETS BOMB THE SOLDIERS (OMG CORRECT SPELLING???!!!) AND THEY’RE SO CLOSE TO US, WONT WE DIE TOO?
“WAIT THIS PLAN WONT WORK!” I YELLED OUT.
“ORLY?” NINTENDOGIRL SAID, AS ONE OF THE SOLDIERS PLANTED A KNIFE INTO HER HEAD.
“WAIT Y R WE SCARED WE HAVE GUNS 2” JAMEZ SAID.
SO WE ALL STARTED SHOOTING THEIR TROOPS. THEN XERO CALLED DOWN “GEWD JOB GUISE, I LOVE YOU ALL. I HOPE I CAN ALWAYS BE IN THIS ARMY”
AND THEN DRAGOOMBA JUMPED UP AND PLACED A DET ON XERO’S JET, AND THEN JUMPED OFF.
“AWWWWWWWW” XERO SAID.
HE PRESSED THE EVACUATION BUTTON BUT WAS TOO LATE AND HE BLEW UP WITH THE JET.
MEANWHILE, WE HAD KILLED EVERY SOLDIER THAT WENT UP AGAINST US, WITHOUT ANYONE DIEING, EXCEPT NINTENDOGIRL, AND JAMEZ GOT SHOT IN THE ARM. DRAGOOMBA WAS NOT PLEASED. SO HE TOOK OUT A GIGANTIC MEGA AWESOME SUPER ULTRA MEGA AWESOME AWESOME SUPER MEGA…ULTRA…SUPER…BAZOOKA!
“CHOKE ON THIS YOU NR FAGS” DRAGOOMBA WHISPERED TO HIMSELF FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.
AND HE FIRED THE BAZOOKA.
“OH SHIT” JAMEZ SAID. “QUICK RUN!” AND WE ALL RAN AWAY FROM THE BAZOOKA ROCKET.
“OMFG IM TOO DAMN FAT!” ZENKU SAID. “GO ON WITHOUT ME!”
“NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!” I SAID AND PULLED HIM WITH US.
ZENKU WAS SO HEAVY, WE WERE BEHIND EVERYONE ELSE. THEN, THE ROCKET HIT. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
ME AND ZENKU FLEW OUT OF THE ALLY, AND SLAMMED THROUGH A BRICK WALL AND INTO A CACTUS FACTORY. JAMEZ AND METANIC FOLLOWED US INTO THERE.
AND DRAGOOMBA WAS LIKE “OGOD DAMN WUT DOES IT TAKE TO KILL THESE PEOPLE?!”
IN THE CACTUS FACTORY METANIC SAID “SO, WITH DRAGOOMBA ON OUR TRAIL WUT DO WE DO NEXT?”
“WE SET A TRAP” JAMEZ SAID, AFTER ALL HE WAS THE WISEST OF US ALL.
“YES” I SAID. “WHEN HE WALKS IN, MILLIONS OF CACTUSES FALL ON HIM. THEN HE DIES.”
“GREAT USE OF THE SOURCES AROUND YOU, SHIDO.” JAMEZ SAID. “BUT WE HAVE DETS…LETS JUST BLOW HIM UP.”
“OYA THAT’D WORK TOO.”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
DRAGOOMBA WALKED INTO THE CACTUS FACTORY, AND STEPPED ON THE DET.
“SET IT OFF!” JAMEZ YELLED.
IT WAS ZENKU’S JOB TO SET IT OFF.
“I CAN’T LET YOU DO THAT!” METANIC SAID.
HE KICKED ZENKU AND KNOCKED HIM OUT.
“ :0 “ I SAID. “SO YOU WERE A TRAITOR JUST LIKE NICK?”
“WAIT UNTIL IM DIEING SHIDO, THEN I’LL GIVE MY MONOLOGUE. GOD DAMN.” MATANIC SAID.
AND THEN METANIC TOOK CONTROL OF THE DET. “NOW HERES HOW ITS GONNA WORK.” HE SAID. “ONE UNIMPORTANT CHARACTER WILL STAND ON THE DET. I BLOW THEM UP. SHIDO KILLS ME AND DRAGOOMBA, AND THE CHAPTER ENDS. K?”
AND THEN SHIDO SAID “SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. ZENKU, YOU SUCK, GO STAND ON THAT DET.”
BUT ZENKU WAS KNOCKED OUT. SO EITHER SHIDO OR JAMEZ HAD TO STAND ON THE DET.
“SRRY JAMEZ” SHIDO SAID.
AND JAMEZ SAID “WAIT I CANT GO ON THERE, IM IMPORTANT LATER ON IN THE STORY.”
THEN ZENKU WOKE UP. “AND I CANT GO ON THERE CUZ IM SUPPOSED TO BE KILLED BY---WELL---YOU KNOW.”
“HOW ABOUT WE PUT THE WRITER ON THE DET FOR MAKING SO MANY DAMN FOURTH WALL JOKES.” DRAGOOMBA SAID.
“K” SHIDO SAID.
SO THEN WE PUT THE WRITER ON THE DET. AND THE WRITER SAID “OSHI”
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. HE BLEW UP. LUCKILY HE HAS 3 STOCK.
THE METANIC SAID “Y’KNOW WUT? SCREW THIS. IM ACTUALLY GOING TO TRY TO KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER.”
AND DRAGOOMBA SAID “KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER? ARE YOU INSANE??!!”
“MAYBE. JUST MAYBE.” METANIC SAID.
AND METANIC TOOK OUT HIS GUN AND SHOT ME RIGHT IN THE FACE AND I DIED. THAT IS, THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I WASN’T THE MAIN CHARACTER. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED WAS METANIC PULLED OUT HIS GUN, BUT I ALREADY HAD MINE OUT.
“R U FEELIN LUCKY, PUNK?” I ASKED HIM.
AND HE SAID “IDK Y”
AND I SAID “CUZ IM SELLIN LOTTO TICKETS? YOU WANT?”
AND HE SAID “HOW MUCH?”
AND I SAID “5.00”
AND HE SAID “5.00??”
AND I SAID “HEY MAN TIMES ARE TOUGH”
AND HE SAID “WELL YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE…IM LOSEING MY HOUSE.”
AND I SAID “OH IM SO SORRY”
AND HE SAID “IT’LL BE OKAY. WUT WITH OBAMA IN OFFICE AND ALL.”
AND I SAID “PALIN 2012”
AND HE SAID “OWUT!!!!!!”
AND THEN HE SHOT AT ME. LUCKILY, DUE TO MY MAIN CHARACTER POWERS, I DODGED IT AND SHOT BACK AT HIM. THE BULLET LANDED RIGHT IN HIS CHEST.
“THAT’S HOW WE RAPE, MAIN-CHARACTER STYLE.” I SAID.
THEN DRAGOOMBA SAID “THE MAIN CHARACTER CAN DIE YOU KNOW.”
AND HE PULLED OUT A SHOTGUN AND BLEW MY HEAD OFF. LOL JK. HE PULLED OUT A SHOTGUN AND SHOT ME IN MAH BELLY.
I FELL DOWN AND SAID “….CHOOKE…ON..T-THIS….” ADDING SOME DRAMTIC EFFECT.
AND I SHOT AT HIM. BUT I MISSED.
“WELL LOOKS LIKE YOU LOSE THIS TIME MR. MAIN CHARACTER.” DRAGOOMBA SAID.
THEN JAMEZ CAME UP BEHIND DRAG AND SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
“YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE MINOR CHARACTER, BITCH!” JAMEZ SAID.
“GUISE, LET’S GO BEFORE WE ALL DIE.” ZENKU SAID.
“GOOD IDEA.” I SAID.
MISSION IN MT TO END WAR: FAILED. BUT WE NOW SAW THEM AS MORE OF A THREAT. AJ WAS DISPLEASED. I KNEW I NEEDED TO MAKE THIS UP TO HIM.

WOW SO WHERE TO START WITH THIS ONE. NO I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHERE DO I START I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. OH THAT’S RIGHT WE RAN OUT OF DAN’S CITY HALL.
THEN WHEN WE GOT OUT OF THERE., WE SAW ZENKU, AND THOSE TWO GUARDS. I LATER CAME UP WITH MY OWN NAMES FOR THOSE GUARDS. I NAMED ONE KIRIN AND THE OTHER ONE DARKY :3.
ZENKU SAID “UM WTF DID YOU DO IT?”
AND I SAID “NAW, WE WENT IN THERE AND SKY TRIED TO KILL US.”
AND ZENKU SAID “HA FAGS”
AND THEN SKY CAME OUT OF THE BUSH WE PUSHED HIM IN AND SAID “THIS BATTLES NOT OVER.”
AND THEN JAMEZ SAID “OSHI I DON’T WANNA DIE”
AND THEN THE WRITER SAID “ITS OKAY JAMEZ YOU’RE SAFE.”
AND JAMEZ SAID “WHEW”
AND THEN ZENKU SAID “AM I GOING TO LIVE WRITER?”
AND THE WRITER SAID “DON’T COUNT ON IT KID”
AND THEN ZENKU STARTED CRYING. SKY LOST BOTH OF HIS SAMURI SWORDZ.
“OGREAT” HE SAID “NOW HOW WILL I KEEL ALL OF YOU NOOBZ”
AND THEN KIRIN SAID “QUICKLY SKY, TO THE SMAC CAVE!”
“NO” SKY SAID “NOT UNTIL THEY DIE. SOMEONE FIND A WEAPON WE CAN USE.”
AND THEN ZENKU SAID “HOW ABOUT THIS WEAPON BITCH”
AND ZENKU BLEW UP DARKY WITH A GRENADE.
“OH THAT WAS A PRETTY KICKASS ONE LINER” JAMEZ SAID.
“THX BBY” ZENKU SAID.
“HI MY NAME’S ZEROZEROFALCO WHO WANTS TO BRAWL” SOME RANDOM GUY SAID OUT OF NOWHERE.
AND THEN ZENKU SAID “OSHI DIE!”
AND THEN ZENKU BLEW UP ZEROZEROFALCO. BUT ZEROZEROFALCO DIDN’T DIE, NO HE JUST FLEW SOMEWHERE ELSE. SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE WE WOULD SEE HIM AGAIN FORSHADOWING FTW.
BUT ANYWAYS SKY WAS LIKE “DARKY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” DARTH VADER STYLE.
THEN ZENKU SAID “GUYS WERE IN LUCK, I HAVE ENOUGH BOMBS TO EXPLODED ALL THESE GUYS, AND THEY AINT GOT SHIT! WERE GONNA WIN!”
AND WE ALL SMILED AT ZENKU UNTIL WE SAW THE SWORD SLICE OUT OF IS CHEST.
ZENKU’S KILLER WAS NONE OTHER THAN TACO!
“THAT’S FOR TACO BELL, BITCH!” TACO SAID.
ZENKU SAID “DAMN…3 DAYS FROM RETIREMENT….”
THEN TACO TOOK ALL OF ZENKUS BOMBS. “BOMBS? YOU WANT EM? THEY’RE YOURS MY SMAC FRIENDS! AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ENOUGH RUPEES.” TACO SAID.
“RUPEES?” SKY ASKED. “FUCK THAT SHIT”
AND SKY STOLE A GRENADE AND BLEW UP TACO. BUT SINCE TACO HAD ALL THE BOMBS, EVERYTHING BLEW UP.
“OOOOOOSHHHHHHIIIII!!!!!!” I YELLED AS I WAS BLOWN ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE NR HQ.
SO WAS HIROKO AND JAMEZ. BUT SKY AND KIRIN, IDK WHERE THEY WENT. BUT I KNOW TACO WENT TO HELL.
“ANOTHER FAILED MISSION? I’M STARTING TO HAVE DOUBT ABOUT YOU MAIN CHARACTERS, MMK.” AJ SAID.
“IM SORRY AJ, THE WRITER JUST HATES ME.” I SAID.
“WELL, SINCE ZENKU’S CHEST HAD A SWORD BABY, I’M ADDING SOMEONE NEW TO YOUR TEAM.” AJ SAID.
“WILL HE ADVANCE THE PLOT?” HIROKO ASKED.
“YES” AJ SAID. “SAY HELLO TO HYPER_SHADOW”
THE HYPER_SHADOW WALKED INTO THE ROOM BUT IMMA CALL HIM HYPER CAUSE THAT’S EASIER.
“HYPER! MY OLD BEST FRIEND!” I SAID.
“IM NOT FUN AND GAMEZ ANYMORE SHIDO.” HE SAID. “IVE KILLED PEOPLE. IVE SEEN THINGS. I PLAYED SUNNYCIDE IN TIC-TAC-TOE”
“DID YOU WIN?” I ASKED.
“I WISH. HE’S WAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO PRO AND HANDSOME.” HYPER SAID.
“G2KNO. SO WATS OUR FIRST MISSION AS THE SUPER FRIENDS SQUAD.” I ASKED AJ.
“SINCE GOING TO MT IS TOO DAMN HARD FOR YOU…” AJ SAID. “YOU ARE GOING TO SWC TO GIVE THIS TO SUNNYCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEE.”
AJ HANDED JAMEZ A NOTE.
“WUT DOES THE NOTE SAY?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“SRY CANT OPEN THE NOTE. ONLY SUNNY CAN.” AJ SAID.
“MMMMK” JAMEZ SAID.
“BUT WONT THEY ATTACK US?” I ASKED.
“ATTACK US? THEY BARELY HAVE ANY GUNZ. NOW GO DELIEVER THE MESSAGE.” AJ SAID.
SO WE ALL FLEW IN A JET TO SWC, THE SMALLEST COUNTRY ON THE EARTH, AND THE WEAKEST.
“HOW SAD ONE STEP AND YOUR IN ONE OTHER STEP AND YOUR OUT” JAMEZ SAID.
THEN HYPER SAID “IDK I KIND OF LIKE THIS PLACE. PEACEFUL.”
“WUTEVR. NOW WHERES THIS SUNNYCIDEE..” I ASKED.
“WHO DARES GO THERE!” SOME FAT GUY SAID. IT WAS THAT ZEROZEROFALCO.
“OMFG ITS THAT 1 GUY WE MET EARLIER!” HIROKO SAID.
“WHO? I WASN’T HERE.” HYPER SAID.
“JUST SCROLL UP TO THE TOP OF THE CHAPTER AND YOU’LL FIND OUT WHAT WERE TALKING ABOUT.” I SAID,
“OOOOOOH.” HYPER SAID.
“I CANNOT LET YOU INTO THE STUPID WIGGERS COUNTRY WITHOUT YOU SOLVEING MY RIDDLE.” ZERO SAID.
“OKAY, WHATS THE RIDDLE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“A COWBOY RIDES INTO TOWN ON FRIDAY, STAYS IN TOWN FOR 2 DAYS AND THEN LEAVES ON FRIDAY. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?”
WE ALL TURNED TO HIROKO THE SMART ONE.
“WELL, HIS HORSE’S NAME WAS FRIDAY.” HIROKO SAID.
“WRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOONNNNNNNG!” ZERO SAID. “EVERYTIME YOU GET IT WRONG, ONE OF YOU MUST DIE, SO WHO WILL DIE FIRST?”
“I WILL SACRAFICE MYSELF SO SHIDO CAN LIVE” JAMEZ SAID.
“NOT SO FAST JAMEZ!” HYPER SAID. “I JUST LOOKED IT UP ONLINE AND HIROKO’S ANSWER WAS CORRECT! THAT GUY WAS LIEING!”
“YOU SHOULD’NT LIE ZERO ITS WRONG ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE LIEING ABOUT GIVING AWAY 20,000 WIIPOINTS” I SAID.
“OKAY, SRRY GUYS ITS JUST THAT I WANTED TO IMPRESS MAI PRESIDENT YOU CAN COME IN HERE.” ZERO SAID.
SO WE ALL WALKED IN. SWC WAS THE POOREST PLACE I’D EVER SEEN. THERE WERE BOXES FILLED WITH HOBOS THAT LOOKED LIKE JAMEZ ALL OVER THE LAND. SOME PEOPLE WERE LIGHTING BEAR BOTTLES ON FIRE AND THROWING THEM ON THE GROUND. SWC WAS SCARY.
“UM CAN YOU ESCOURT US?” JAMEZ ASKED ZERO.
“HM. ITS NOT REALLY MY JOB, BUT I DON’T REALLY GIVE A FUCK.” ZERO SAID.
SO HE TOOK US ALL OVER THE TOWN.
“UM HELLO DUMBASS WE JUST WANTED TO SEE SUNNYCIDE” HYPER SAID.
“OOOOOOH WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SO!” ZERO SAID. “HES IN THAT BOX OVER THERE”
AND THERE WAS SUNNYCIDE LIVING IN A BOX.
“EXCUSE ME, MR. SUNNYCIDE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“WUT?” SUNNYCIDE ASKED.
“OUR DICTATOR, AJ, ASKED US TO GIVE YOU THIS NOTE.” AND JAMEZ HANDED HIM THE NOTE.
SUNNYCIDE OPENED IT.
“WUT DOES IT SAY?” I ASKED.
“IT SAYS TWO THINGS.” SUNNYCIDE SAID. “1. IT SAYS MY NAME FROM NOW ON IS NOW SUNNY. AND 2. IT SAYS IF SWC JOINS THE WAR ON NR’S SIDE AJ WILL GIVE US THE MONEYZ.”
“JOIN THE WAR JOIN THE WAR JOIN THE WAR.” JAMEZ SAID.
“IDK I’LL ASK MY ADVISOR. OR WAIT NVM HE DIED FROM AIDS YESTERDAY. OKAY I GUESS IM IN.” SUNNY SAID.
“YAY.” WE ALL SAID.
MEANWHILE AT MT…
“DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT?” DAN ASKED.
“WUT WAS IT?” SKY ASKED.
“SOUNDED LIKE WE JUST GOT FUCKED.” DAN SAID.

SO NOW WITH SWC ON OUR SIDE IN THE WAR, MT’S LOSS WAS INEVITABLE. AJ KNEW THIS.
“MMMK, MAIN CHARACTER’S TEAM, GO TO MT AND ASK DAN TO SURRENDER.” AJ TOLD US.
“K” JAMEZ SAID.
“WELL THIS STORY SEEMED TO WRAP UP RATHER QUICKLY.” HIROKO SAID.
“INORITE 7 CHAPTERS IT’S LIKE A LITTLE KIDS BOOK.” HYPER SAID.
BUT I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG. WHY WOULD THE WRITER MAKE MT LOSE THIS QUICK? IT JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE. AND THERE WAS NEVER ANY DOUBT IN THE STORY THE NR WAS GOING TO LOSE THE WAR SINCE THEY OWNED THE ENTIRE WORLD. SO WHAT TRICK DID THE WRITER HAVE UP HIS SLEEVE HERE? I WONDERED.
WE GOT TO MT. NO GUARDS. IN FACT, THE ENTIRE CITY WAS EMPTY. IT EVEN SEEMED LIKE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WAS EMPTY.
“UM HELLO?” JAMEZ CALLED OUT TO THE CITY.
HIS VOICE ECHOED ECHOED ECHOED DOWN.
“WHATS GOING ON?” HYPER ASKED JAMEZ.
“HMM..IDK” JAMEZ SAID. “HIROKO YOU’RE THE SMART ONE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”
“I THINK WE SHOULD GTFO OF HERE.” HIROKO SAID.
“RIGHT, SMART MOVE.” JAMEZ SAID.
BUT AS WE TURNED AROUND WE SAW OUR ROAD OUT OF THE CITY HAD BEEN BLOCKED OFF. BLOCKED OFF BY A MILLION CARDBOARD COPIES OF METANIC’S ABS!
“WUTS GOING ON? WHY DO I FEEL HOT?” HYPER ASKED.
“UH-OH I THINK WE’VE FALLEN INTO SOME KIND OF TRAP.” I SAID.
THEN SUDDENLY A GIANT HELICOPTER FLEW OVER OUR HEADS. WE SAW DAN IN THE HELICOPTER!
“HYEZ” HE SHOUTED DOWN WITH A MEGAPHONE. “ALL MT CIVILLIANS HAVE BEEN EVACUATED FROM THIS AREA, INTO SWC.”
“SWC? WHY WOULD THEY GO THERE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“UM DUH CUZ MT IS WORKING WITH SWC” DAN SAID. “NR GAVE SWC ALL THE GUNS AND MONEYZ, AND NOW THEY DECIDED TO WORK WITH US.”
“OSHI SO WHY DID YOU EVACUATE ALL YOUR CIVILLIANS?” I ASKED.
“2 TEST OUR NEW BOMB. AND IT WAS LUCKY THAT YOU MUTHER FUCKERS SHOWED UP HERE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO, CAUSE WERE GONNA TEST IT ON YOU NOW!”
“OSHI” WE ALL SAID.
“BOMBZ AWAY” DAN SAID, AS HE ROLLED A GIANT BOMB OUT OF THE HELICOPTER, AND FLEW OFF.
“OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI OSHI!!!!!!!!!!” WE ALL SAID.
“WAIT” HIROKO SAID. “I HAVE AN IDEA!”
“WUT?” I ASKED.
“IF WE PUT OURSELVES INTO A TRASH CAN WITH THE LID CLOSED WE COULD SURVIVE. BUT THERES ONLY TWO TRASH CANS.” HIROKO SAID.
“WELL WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHO LIVE NOW BECAUSE THE BOMBS DROPPING.” I SAID.
“WELL WE ALREADY KNOW THAT SHIDO’S GOING TO LIVE, AND HMMMM…HOW ABOUT HYPER LIVES TOO?” JAMEZ SAID.
“SOUNDS GOOD.” WE ALL SAID.
SO ME AND HYPER GOT INTO THE TRASH CANS. JAMEZ AND HIROKO PREPARED TO GET HIT BY THE BOMB. I PEAKED OUT OF THE TRASH CAN TO WATCH MY LEADER OF 4 CHAPTERS SACRAFICE HIMSELF.
ATLAST THE BOMB HIT THE GROUND. THE EXPLOSION ERUPTED AND I SANK BACK INTO MY TRASH CAN. THE BLAST TURNED JAMEZ AND HIROKO INTO DUST, THAT WAS SWEPT AWAY IN THE WIND. OUR TRASHCANS FLEW INTO THE AIR, AS I HELD TIGHT. WHEN THE EXPLOSION WAS OVER, AND CRAWLED OUT OF THE TRASH CAN TO WITNESS A HORROR. THE BOMB HAD DESTROYED EVERYTHING. THE CITY WE WERE IN WAS NOW DUST AND ROCKS. HYPER’S TRASHCAN WAS ON FIRE.
“OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW” HE SAID CLIMBING OUT OF THE TRASHCAN.
HYPER CAUGHT ON FIRE 2.
“OWWWWWW SHIDO HALP! HALP!” HE SCREAMED.
“HYPER!” I SAID. “STOP…DROP…AND..UM..DROP AND UM….DANCE!”
SO HYPER STARTED DANCING AND THE FIRE WENT AWAY.
“I CANT BELIEVE JAMEZ IS DEAD!” I SAID.
“WUTEVER. DIS IS WAR AND EVERYONE DIES EVENTUALLY.” HYPER SAID.
“INO BUT STILL.” I SAID.
WHEN WE GOT BACK TO THE NR BASE AJ WAS FURIOUS.
“EVERYTIME I SEND YOU MT, EVERY FUCKING TIME!” HE SAID.
“SRRY SIR, MT JUST TRAPPED US.” I SAID.
“AND NOW JAMEZ IS DEAD? HE WAS MY TOP GENERAL.! I MEAN W2F IS GOING ON HERE!” AJ SAID. “OF COURSE…THERE IS ONE WAY TO BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE…”
“THERE IS?” I ASKED.
“YES, AND IT WOULD SAVE HIROKO TOO.” AJ SAID.
“WUT IS IT?” HYPER ASKED.
“WE SEND YOU BACK IN TIME.” AJ SAID.
“HOW YA GONNA DO THAT?” I ASKED.
“SIMPLE. THERE’S AN OLD WIZARD WHO LIVES NOT VERY FAR FROM HERE. HIS NAME IS BLOODYREGRET. GO TO HIM, AND HE CAN SEND YOU BACK IN TIME.” AJ SAID.
“WHERE DOES HE LIVE?” I ASKED.
“ON THE TOP OF THE MEGACOOL HILL. YOU’LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH A LITTLE BIT OF A JOURNEY TO GET THERE, BUT IT’LL BE WORTH IT.” AJ SAID.
“OR WE COULD JUST SKIP TO THE PARAGRAPH WHERE WE GET THERE.” HYPER SAID.
“UMMMM K” AJ SAID.
AT LAST WE HAD REACHED THE TOP OF MEGACOOL HILL, AND SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS AN OLD HOUSE ONTOP OF THERE.
“THAT MUST BE WHERE BLOODYREGRET LIVES.” I SAID.
‘HUH--I NEVER ACTUALLY TOOK TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT BUT---BLOODYREGRET---IS THAT NAME REALLY APPROPRIETZ?” HYPER SAID.
“IDK AND IDC NOW LET’S GO IN” I SAID.
WE BUSTED INTO HIS HOUSE AND SAW BLOODYREGRET SITTING ON A STOOL.
“EXCUSE ME BLOODYREGRET WE NEED TO GO BACK IN TIME.” I SAID.
“WHAT IS TIME BUT JUST A LIMIT ON HOW LONG?” BLOODYREGRET ASKED.
“UM K. BUT SRSLY WE NEED TO GO BACK IN TIME.” I SAID.
“Y SO SRS?” HE ASKED. “YOU CANT HELP AN OLD WIZARD WITH A FEW CHORES FIRST?”
“UMMM OK I GUESS SO, WHAT R YOUR CHORES.” HYPER ASKED.
“FEED MY PET” BLOODYREGRET SAID.
“K WHERE IS HE.” I ASKED.
“OH YEAH THAT BRINGS ME TO YOUR SECOND CHORE, BUY ME MY FIRST PET.” HE SAID.
“BUY YOU A PET, WUT THE?” I SAID. “HYPER, GIVE HIM SHADOW.”
SHADOW WAS HYPER’S PET HEDGEHOG HE CARRIED AROUND WITH HIM. OH, DID I NOT MENTION THAT BEFORE? WELL, THAT’S,UM, YEAH.
“NO! NOT SHADOW!” HYPER SAID.
“HYPER WE HAVE NO CHOICE.” I SAID.
“FINE. TAKE SHADOW.” HYPER SAID.
HE GAVE SHADOW TO BLOODYREGRET.
“WELL YOU’VE COMPLETED YOUR THIRD CHORE: BUY ME LUNCH.” BLOODYREGRET SAID AS HE ATE SHADOW.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” HYPER SAID.
HYPER PULLED OUT A GUN.
“OKAY JACKOFF, SAY HI TO SHADOW FOR ME!” HYPER SAID.
“HYPER! CALM DOWN!” I SAID.
“RITE.” HYPER SAID.
“SIR PLZ WE JUST NEED YOUR TIME TRAVEL POWERS TO GO BACK 5 HOURS INTO THE PAST.” I SAID.
“5 HOURS YOU SAY? WELL SURE, STAND OVER THERE.” BLOODYREGRET SAID.
SO WE STOOD OVER THERE.
“NOW…LET ME JUST SAY MY CHANT AND YOU’LL BE BACK IN TIME.” BLOODYREGRET SAID.
AND THEN HE BEGAN SINGING
“I’M GONNA TAKE YOU BACK TO THE PAST,
TO SAVE YOUR SHITTY FRIENDS WHO SUCK ASS,
THEY PROBABLY DIED, FROM AIDS,
OR SOMETHING REALLY REALLY GAY LIKE THAT,
OR MAYBE THEY, FORGOT THEIR PARACHUTE,
LIKE KOOKYMIME DID IN CHAPTER 2,
I’M SENDING YOU BACK TO THE PAST,
IM THE TIME TRAVELING WIZARD, IM THE
COOLEST WIZARD ALIVE, I’M THE TIME TRAVELING
WIZARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD”
AND THEN BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUMP! WE FLEW INTO A BLUE VORTEX. ME AND HYPER WERE WISHWOOSHING WISH WASHING EVERYWHERE. THEN HYPER FLEW INTO A DIFFERENT PORTAL THAN I DID!
I LANDED UP 6 MINUTES BEFORE THE BOMB HIT. BUT HYPER WASN’T WITH US.
“WHERE’S HYPER?” I ASKED.
“WHO’S HYPER?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“OH SHIT.” I SAID.
MEANWHILE, HYPER LANDED IN THE WILD WILD WEST.
“OF FUCKIN COURSE.” HYPER SAID.
“JAMEZ WE GOTTA GO BACK IN TIME TO WHEN ME AND HYPER WERE GOING BACK IN TIME.” I SAID.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” JAMEZ ASKED. “SHIDO I THINK WE SHOULD GO HOME YOU DON’T SOUND GOOD.”
“YES! LET’S GO HOME, YES!” I SAID.
“BUT WE HAVE TO COMPLETE OUR MISSION” HIROKO SAID.
“NO WE DON’T, TRUST ME.” I SAID.
“UMMM K” JAMEZ SAID AND WE WENT HOME.
“JAMEZ YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME TO BLOODYREGRET.” I SAID.
“WHO’S BLOODYREGRET?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“THE TIME-TRAVELLING WIZARD! WE GOTTA SAVE HYPER!” I SAID.
“FINE, I’LL PLAY ALONG WITH THIS. SO WHERE DOES HE LIVE.” JAMEZ ASKED.
“UP YOUR FAT ASS.” I SAID. “BUT SRSLY HE LIVES AT MEGACOOL HILL, WE GOTTA GO.”
“K” JAMEZ SAID.

“HELLO? BLOODYREGRET?” I ASKED WHEN WE GOT UP MEGACOOL HILL AGAIN.
“THAR IS NO BLOODYREGRET HERE.” JAMEZ SAID. “YOU’VE GONE INSANE.”
“WAT NO STFU I KNOW HE’S HERE” I SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO LOOK THERES A NOTE!” JAMEZ SAID.
“AND LOOK ON THE BACK: IT’S A LETTER!” I SAID.
“BUT LOOK OVER HERE, IT’S A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE! AND IT COMES WITH A BOTTLE!” JAMEZ SAID. “IT SAYS: TO GO BACK IN TIME, BREAK THIS BOTTLE ON THE GROUND IT CAN ONLY BE USED ONCE.”
“GOO!” I SAID. “LESA DO IT”
JAMEZ TOSSED THE BOTTLE ON THE GROUND.
“WHERE ARE WE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“IDK.” I SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO LOOK THERES A NOTE!” JAMEZ SAID.
“OGOD DAMMIT WE TRAVELED 5 SECONDS BACK IN TIME!” I SAID. “I GUESS I BETTER FORGET ABOUT HYPER.”
“K, NOW WE GOT A WAR TO SETTLE.” JAMEZ SAID.
“RITE.” I SAID.
“NAWT SO FAST!” SOME WIRED LADY SAID.
“UM WHOTF R U?” I ASKED.
“I SHOULD BE ASKIN YOU THAT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. AND WTF YOU SMASHED MY BOTTLE TOO? WHO R U PEOPLE.” SHE ASKED. “AND YOU BETTER BE FAMOUS 80’S POP STARS OTHERWISE IM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH.”
“THEN YOU’RE IN LUCK BECAUSE I’M RICK ASTLEY AND THIS IS MY FRIEND MICHAEL JACKSON.” I SAID. “WE JUST CAME BACAUSE WERE ON AN EVERLASTING QUEST TO SMASH EVERY BOTTLE IN THE WORLD.”
“OIC.” THE LADY SAID. “WELL MY NAME IS SHIVS.”
“K NICE 2 MEET YOU BAI” I SAID.
“WAIT” SHIVS SAID. “I WANT YOU BOTH TO SEE SOMETHING.”
“OOOOOOOOH….K…..” I SAID.
“GO ON FC.COM AND LOOK AT THIS AWESOME PROFILE.” SHIVS SAID.
“OK” I SAID.
“ER WAIT SHIDO DON’T!” JAMEZ SAID.
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. SHIVS LOOKED AT THE MOST RECENT VISITS ON THE PRFILE, AND MY NAME WAS ON THERE.
“AH-HA! I KNEW YOU WERENT RICK ASTLEY! RICK ASTLEY IS WHITE! AS FOR YOU MICHAEL JACKSON, YOU’RE FREE TO GO.” SHIVS SAID.
“OH FUCK YOU.” JAMEZ SAID.
“NOW RICK---OR SHOULD I SAY, SHIDO, WAIT A MINUTE---SHIDO---I KNOW YOU!” SHIVS SAID.
“HOW DRUNK WAS I?” SHIDO SAID.
“NO, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU BUT MY FATHER METANIC DID.” SHIVS SAID.
“….SO YOU KNOW HOW YOUR FATHER DIED RIGHT?” I ASKED.
“YEAH I DO.” SHIVS SAID.
“I’M SORRY BUT I HAD TO DO IT. I HAD NO CHOICE. IT JUST…HAD TO BE DONE.” I SAID.
“SO YOU GAVE MY FATHER AIDS?” SHIVS SAID.
“UMMMMM SURRRRRREEE LET’S GO WITH THAT.” I SAID.
“THAT MEANS YOU KILLED HIM.” SHIVS SAID.
“ER--NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” I SAID.
“YEAH YOU DID! AND I BET YOU’RE NOT MICHAEL JACKSON EITHER!” SHIVS SAID.
“AGAIN: FUCK YOU.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WELL, NOW I WILL HAVE TO KILL BOTH OF YOU.” SHIVS SAID.
“ONICE IDEA SHIDO, LET’S GO TO THE TOP OF HILL WHERE NOBODY KNOWS WE ARE AND BREAK AND ENTRY INTO A HOUSE!” JAMEZ SAID.
“OSHI” I SAID.
‘YOU WILL BE FED TO MY MAN EATING SHIVYS” SHIVS SAID.
“WTF IS A SHIVY?” I ASKED.
“OH YOU’LL FIND OUT.” SHE SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO I HAVE A PLAN.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHAT IS IT?” I ASKED.
“LET’S. LEAVE.” JAMEZ SAID.
“GREAT IDEA!” I SAID.
SO WE HEADED FOR THE DOOR, BUT IT WAS LOCKED.
“TOO LATE. I ALREADY GLUED THE DOORS SHUT.” SHIVS SAID.
“WAIT JAMEZ, I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.” I SAID.
“WHAT IS IT?” JAMEZ ASKED.
I TOOK OUT MY GUN AND SHOT SHIVS IN THE HEAD, AND HER HEAD EXPLODED.
“THAT” I SAID.
“K, BUT WERE STILL STUCK IN THIS HOUSE.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY SECOND IDEA.” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT A GRENADE AND BLEW UP THE DOOR.
“WE R MILITARY MEN, IN A MILITARY WORLD.” I SAID.
“LETSA GET BACK TO BASE.” I SAID.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= = = == = = = = = = = = = =
FINALLY WE GOT BACK TO BASE.
“WHERE WERE YOU TWO?” AJ ASKED.
“TRYING TO SAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN LOST IN THE PAST.” I SAID.
“DO UR SEXUAL GAMES ON UR OWN TIME, WE GOT BUSINESS TO DO RITE NOW.” AJ SAID.
“WUT’S GOING ON?” I ASKED.
“WELL OUR TOP SPY, NICK, HAS BEEN CAPTURED.” AJ SAID.
“NICK?? BUT HE DEADZ!” I SAID.
“NAW” AJ SAID.
“O THAT’S RIGHT, HYPER NEVER EXISTED SO HE NEVER KILLED NICK, BUT WOULDN’T THAT MEAN I’M DEAD TOO?” I SAID.
********FLASHBACK 2 A WERLD WITHOUT HYPER*************
I WOKE UP. APPERENTLY THE BULLET MISSED MY BRAIN. I WAS IN A HOSPITAL.
“WUT HAPPENED?” I ASKED.
“NICK FOUND YOU ALIVE IN A PILE OF DEAD GUYS AND BROUGHT YOU HERE.” SOME UNIMPORTANT CHARACTER SAID.
“YES, BECAUSE BURNING YOU ALIVE WOULD HAVE BEEN CRUEL----I MEAN UM---SPAGHETTI CAT CAT CAT CAT” NICK SAID.
**********BACK 2 THA FUCHER**********************
“OSHI IM THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT NICK IS A TRAITOR. I WILL TELL AJ.” I SAID.
“UM HELLO IM RIGHT HERE AND CAN HERE EVERYTHING YOU’RE SAYING” AJ SAID.
“ORITE.” I SAID.
“NICKS NO TRAITOR. HES HALPED US BRING DOWN THE MT ARMY. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY’RE DOWN TO ONLY 7000 MEN?” AJ SAID.
“WUT? SO IN A WORLD WITHOUT HYPER, WERE DOING BETTER IN THE WAR?” I ASKED. “WOW HYPER YOU SUCK.”
“NOW GO SAVE NICK” AJ SAID.
“BUT THERES REALLY NO POINT IN SAVING NICK, BECAUSE I HAVE TO SAVE HYPER. IS THERE ANYWAY I CAN TRAVEL BACK IN TIME?” I ASKED AJ.
“YES, NICK INVENTED TIME MACHINES LAST WEEK. THEY’RE IN THE BATHROOM.” AJ SAID.
“K THX” I SAID.
SO I WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND THERE WERE TIME MACHINES. I ALSO SAW DEADMETALHEAD THERE.
“WUT R U DOING?” I ASKED.
“TRYING TO CREATE AN ARMY OF DINOSAURS. WANT TO HELP.” HE ASKED.
“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO U UGLY FREAK.” I SAID.
I HOPPED INTO THE TIME MACHINE.
“JKNHGLJGLFNKLNSDFLGNDFSLJKGNLDFJNBLDFJNLBGNMDFGMNDFSKLGMSDFLMG” I YELLED OUT THROUGH THE TWISTS AND TURNS OF THE VORTEX. AND FINALLY I WARPPED TO WHEN BLOODYREGRET WAS ABOUT TO SEND ME AND HYPER BACK IN TIME.
HE SAID HIS CHANT AND WE WERE OFF.
“HYPER!” I SAID. “WE GOTTA HOLD HANDS SO YOU DON’T GET LOST!”
“NO WAY THAT’S GAY!” HYPER SAID.
“LISTEN TO ME-HOLD MY HAND RIGHT NOW!” I SAID.
“GET AWAY FROM ME FAG!” HYPER SAID.
AND HE KICKED ME INTO A DIFFERENT PORTAL.
I WAS NOW IN THE WILD WILD MOTHERFUCKING WEST.

“OWUT NONONONONONONONONO! NOW IM IN THE WILD WILD WEST!” I SAID.
SUDDENLY THE WORLD AROUND ME STARTED…MELTING.
“WHAT’S HAPPENING?” I ASKED.
EVERYTHING STARTED FIZZING AND WIRLING AND THEN I SAW A COW FLY STRAIGHT OVER THE SKY.
“OSHI TIME IS FALLING APART” I SAID.
AND THEN THE WHOLE WORLD BLEW UP.
I WOKE UP AT THE NR BASE.
“WUT’S GOING ON….?” I ASKED.
I NOTICED IT WAS A DARK ROOM. AND CRAMPED. WTF IS GOING ON…
“IS HE AWAKE?” I HEARD AJ SAY.
“YEAH HE’S AWAKE.” I HEARD SOME FAT GUY SAID. I REALIZED IT WAS ZENKU!
“WUT’S GOING ONNNN?” I ASKED.
“SHIDO, YOU WERE SHOT IN THE HEAD THREE TIMES IN BATTLE.” ZENKU SAID.
“BY WHO?” I ASKED.
“IDK” ZENKU SAID.
“WHY IS THE ROOM SO DARK?” I ASKED.
“CUZ WE DON’T HAVE MONEY FOR LIGHTING, WE NEED WEAPONS.” AJ SAID.
“BUT WE OWN THE ENTIRE WORLD.” I SAID.
“SHIDO…PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE WORLD MAP?” AJ SAID.
AJ SHOWED ME A WORLD MAP. MT AND SWC OWNED THE ENTIRE WORLD. NR HAD THE TINY ISLAND OF JAPAN.
“WHAT…? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW’D THEY GET THAT STRONG??” I ASKED.
“THEY’VE ALWAYS BEEN THAT STRONG. WE WERE LOSEING THIS WAR BEFORE IT STARTED.” AJ SAID. “I THINK IT’S TIME FOR NR TO SURRENDER.” AJ SAID.
“WUT---NO! WE WERE GONNA WIN! JUST LET ME GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP ME AND HYPER FROM GOING INTO THE PAST AT ALL--I---OH CRAP, MEGACOOL HILL IS IN MT/SWC TERITORY NOW. UGH!” I SAID. “WHERE’S JAMEZ?”
“JAMEZ…SHIDO JAMEZ DIED 6 MONTHS AGO…” ZENKU SAID.
“WUT? HYPER? HIROKO? NICK?” I ASKED.
“WERE THE ONLY THREE LEFT WHO ARE WILLING TO GO INTO THE MILITARY FOR NR. THAT BATTLE WE JUST HAD…THEY FINISHED OFF OUR ARMY. THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TO SURRENDER.” AJ SAID.
AJ LEFT THE ROOM.
“ZEN” I SAID. “COME WITH ME TO MEGACOOL HILL.”
“WHARS THAT?” ZEN ASKED.
“UP YAR FAT ASS.” I SAID. “BUT SERIOUSLY IT’S IN ENEMY TERRITORY.”
“IDK…MT AND SWC ARE PRETTY HARSH WITH US NR’RS.” ZEN SAID.
“WE CAN WIN THE WAR IF YOU COME WITH ME, AND WE DO THIS THING.” I SAID.
“FINE. I GUESS I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.” ZEN SAID.
“WELL YOU COULD TRY LOSEING A FEW POUNDS.” I SAID.
“WAT?” ZEN ASKED.
“NOTHING.” I SAID.
“NOW WHERE ARE THE PLANES?” I ASKED.
“PLANES? UMM…THEY ALL BLEW UP.” ZENKU SAID.
“OOOO…K….BOATS?”
“BOATS…ALL SUNK.” ZEN SAID.
“CARS??” I ASKED.
“HAVE YOU SEEN GAS PRICES?“ ZEN SAID.
“LARGE BIRDS??? DO YOU HAVE LARGE BIRDS THAT COULD POSSIBLY FLY US TO MEGACOOL HILL?????” I ASKED.
“BIRDS….NO WE ATE THEM ALL.” ZEN SAID.
“WAIT….EATING….YOU….FAT….THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.” I SAID.
SOON WE WERE FLOATING ACROSS THE OCEAN WITH ZENKU AS THE BOAT. IT TOOK US A MONTH, AND EVENTUALLY AJ HAD SURRENDERD. OR…WE ASSUMED I MEAN WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA SO…
I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT WHEN WE CAME ACROSS AN ENEMY SHIP. IT WAS MT’S SHIP. 3RD PERSON OMNISCENT TOOK OVER AS I SAW INTO THE SHIP.
“SIR,” CORRUPTED X SAID. “WEVE SPOTTED A STRANGE WATER CRAFT.”
“ASK FOR IT’S IDENTITY.” CHEFMAN THE CAPTAIN SAID. “IT MAY BE SOME NR FAGS TRYING TO ESCAPE THE LAW OF JUSTICE.”
“RIGHT” CORRUPTED X SAID.
“EXCUSE ME.” THE LARGE SHIP ROARED TO US. “WHO ARE YOU?”
“OH US? WERE VETERANS FROM NR. WE WERE JUST FLOATING INTO YOUR TERRITORY SO WE COULD FIND A MAGICAL WIZARD AND GO BACK IN TIME, TO CHANGE THE UNIVERSE, SO WERE IN A WORLD WHERE MT AND SWC LOSE THE WAR.” ZENKU SAID.
I FACEPALMED.
“K” CHEF SAID. “SHOOT THEM.”
WE WATCHED AS THE SHIP’S GIANT GUNS POINTED STRAIGHT AT US. WHAT DID I DO? WELL I JUMPED THE FUCK OFF OF ZENKU, THAT’S WHAT I DID. THE GUNS BEGAN SHOOTING ZENKU AND I WATCHED HIM SCREAM AS THE BULLETS TURNED HIM INTO PURE LIQUID.
“THAR” CHEF SAID. “NOW LETS GO GET SOME SUSHI”
“SORRY ZENKU.” I SAID. “IF I GET THE CHANCE I’LL TRY TO BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE WHEN I CHANGE TIME. ROFL JK I HATE YOU, YOU FAT BITCH. SEE YOU IN HELL.”
I SWAM THE REST OF THE WAY TO LAND.
I GOT ONTO LAND. TROOPS WERE EVERYWHERE.
“HEY!” A MT SOLDIER NAMED TOPIX SAID. “WUT R U DOIN HERE?”
“OH ME? JUST TAKING A SWIM.” I SAID.
“AND WHATS YOUR NAME EXACTLY?” TOPIX SAID.
“RICK ASTLEY” I SAID.
“RICK ASTLEY? YOU’RE FREE TO GO.” TOPIX SAID.
“YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT PUSSY. AND BY THE WAY, DID DRAG LET YOU SUPERGLUE HIS LIPS TO YOUR ASS?” I SAID.
I LATER GOT SUED FOR SAYING THAT BECAUSE SUNNYCIDE MADE IT UP AND I JUST TOOK IT AND TOOK CREDIT FOR IT. SO DID SOMEONE ELSE, BUT I CANT REMEMBER WHO…..
I MADE MY WAY INTO A CITY. THE CITY WAS CALLED SUNNYRULES. I HAD TO ADMIT I LOVED THAT NAME. THE PEOPLE WERE SO NICE. IT WAS THE SOLDIERS I HATED. BUT ATLEAST NOW I COULD BUY SOME CLOTHES AND TRY TO PASS AS A CIVILLIAN. RIGHT?
I SAW A GUN STORE. IT WAS THEN I REALIZED I HAD NO PROTECTION. IT PROBABLY WOULD BE SMART TO GET A GUN.
I WALKED INTO THE GUN STORE.
“IM LOOKING FOR THE BEST GUN YOU HAVE HERE.” I SAID.
“WELL THAT WOULD BE OUR SUDAN69.” THE SHOP KEEPER SAID.
“SUDAN69?” I ASKED.
“Y’KNOW…MACHINE GUN, COMPLETE WITH LAZER AIM, NIGHT VISION, AND EVER HAS A SNIPER SCOPE.” THE SHOP KEEPER SAID.
“FINE, I’LL TAKE THAT…AND WHATS YOUR BEST EXPLOSIVE WEAPON?” I ASKED.
“THAT’S OUR NIF GRENADE LAUNCHER.” HE SAID.
“AND BEST HANDGUN?” I ASKED.
“A SMAC45.” HE SAID.
“I WILL TAKE ALL OF THOSE. PLUS AMMO FOR THEM. AND WILL YOU PUT THE AMMO IN THEM? IT’S SUCH A HASSEL PUTTING IT IN MYSELF.” I SAID.
“MMK” THE SHOPKEEPER SAID. “HERE YOU GO, THAT’LL BE 2000 DOLLARS.”
AND HE HANDED ME THE GUNS.
“THX FAG” I SAID AND SHOT HIS HEAD OFF. “OH, I SHOULD GET SOME ARMOR OR SOMETHING WHILE IM HERE.” SO I DID.
MY BODY ARMOR EVEN CAME WITH NIGHT VISION AND WATER VISION GOGGLES. I WALKED OUT OF THE CITY TO MEGACOOL HILL. I WAS READY FOR ANY BATTLE.
I CAME UP TO A SWAMP, THAT I KNEW WOULD SUCK TO WALK THROUGH. BUT I HAD TO. THE SWAMP WENT ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TIP OF MY HEAD.
“GREAT. JUST GREAT.” I SAID.
THEN I HEARD OTHER PEOPLE TALKING.
“OSHI WUTS THAT?” I ASKED MYSELF.
I TRIED TO SEE, BUT MY NIGHT VISION AND WATER VISION DIDN’T HELP. I SNUCK FORWARD TO THE PEOPLE TALKING.
“WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE THE SWAMP GUARDS?” I HEARD ONE GUY SAY.
“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? SUNNY AND DAN HATE US.” ANOTHER GUY SAID.
“BUT WHO WOULD SNEAK THROUGH A SWAMP?” THE OTHER GUY SAID.
I BLUSHED.
“LOOK, I’M GETTING PAYED 600$ AN HOUR FOR THIS SO STFU.” THE GUY SAID.
I SOON FOUND OUT THEIR IDENTITIES. IT WAS HYPER AND JAMEZ. BUT WEREN’T THEY DEAD?
“HYPER! JAMEZ!” I CALLED OUT.
“WUT? WHO WAS THAT?!” HYPER SAID.
“IDK, IM SCARED! HOLD ME BBY!” JAMEZ SAID.
“IT’S ME, SHIDO!” I SAID.
“SHIDO?” JAMEZ SAID.
“I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD! ATLEAST, THAT’S WHAT ZENKU AND AJ SAID!” I SAID. “SO ARE YOU GUYS LIKE, BEING FORCED TO WORK ON THE ENEMIES SIDE?”
“NO.” HYPER SAID.
“WE SWITCHED TO THIS SIDE A LONG TIME AGO SHIDO LMAO.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WUT?! WHY??” I ASKED.
“CAUSE NR WAS GOING DOWN THE SHITTER IMO!” HYPER SAID.
“YOU GUYS CANT JUST GIVE UP ON NR!” I SAID.
“WE CAN AND WE DID. SO I TAKE IT YOU’RE STILL AGAINST MT AND SWC?” JAMEZ SAID.
“GUYS, JUST LET ME PASS BY! THE WORLD IS ALL SCREWED UP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ME AND HYPER WENT BACK IN TIME AND STUFF, BUT IF YOU LET ME THROUGH I CAN FIX IT.” I SAID.
“SHIDO…” HYPER SAID. “I SAVED US FROM THE PAST A LONG TIME AGO.”
“WAT?” SHIDO ASKED.
“SHIDO…WE NEVER WENT INTO THE PAST. I FIXED THAT.” HYPER SAID. “WHAT YOU’RE SEEING NOW…IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WORLD.”
“WAT…NO…THAT CANT BE…I…NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!” I SAID DARTH VADER STYLE.
“RIGHT, NOW LET’S KILL THIS FAGGOT.” JAMEZ SAID.
“FINE YOU WANT TO FIGHT, LET’S FIGHT!!” I SAID.
I PULLED OUT ME SUDAN69.
“FUCK!!!!!!!!” JAMEZ SAID. “A SUDAN! LET’S GTFO OF HERE!”
“TOO LATE YOU SEGA WHORE!” I SAID.
AND I SHOT JAMEZ UNTIL HE WENT TO HELL.
“HOMEBREW THOSE HACKS, BITCH!” I SAID.
HYPER SHIT HIMSELF FROM FEAR.
“HOLD ON SHIDO…WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS! REMEMBER, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER?” HYPER SAID.
“SORRY HYPER, BUT THOSE WHO BETREY NR ARE FAGS, NOT FRIENDS.” I SAID.
HYPER TRIED TO RUN, BUT HE FAILED SINCE WE WERE IN A SWAMP. ONE SHOT TO HYPER’S HEAD EXPLODED IT. I WALKED THROUGH THE DEAD BODIES OF MY ONCE GOOD FRIENDS.
AT LAST I GOT OUT OF THE SWAMP. WHO WAS THERE WAITING FOR ME? BLOODYREGRET.
“YOU!” I SAID. “THE TIME…IS IT REALLY??”
“NO.” BLOODYREGRET SAID. “HYPER NEVER WENT AND STOPPED YOU GUYS FROM TIME TRAVELLING. HE WAS LIEING TO GET YOU TO JOIN MT AND SWC’S SIDE.”
“AHH…GOOD. HOW DO YOU KNOW?” I ASKED.
“YOU DON’T KNOW YET, DO YOU SHIDO? WELL YOU WILL IN TIME. FOR NOW, I SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO YOUR REAL TIME?” BLOODYREGRET SAID.
“I…YEAH…I DO.” I SAID.
“I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO RIGHT WHEN YOU GUYS SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE.” BLOODYREGRET SAID.
“I-” BUT I PAUSED WHEN I SAW I WAS IN BLOODYREGRET’S HOUSE. HYPER WAS NEXT TO ME.
“DO YOU TWO WANT SOMETHING?” BLOODYREGRET ASKED.
“NO.” I SAID. “LET’S LEAVE HYPER.”
“LOL?” HYPER SAID.
“SO JAMEZ AND HIROKO ARE DEAD FOREVER NOW?” AJ ASKED WHEN WE GOT BACK TO THE BASE.
“I GUESS IT’LL HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.” I SAID.
“WRONG.” JAMEZ SAID.
“ :0” I SAID.
HIROKO WAS THERE TOO.
“JAMEZ! HIROKO! WHAT THE???” HYPER SAID.
“I USED HOMEBREW TO HELP ME AND HIROKO SURVIVE THE ATTACK.” JAMEZ SAID.
“K, LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS NOW.” AJ SAID. “SWC HAS JOINED MT. MT HAS A NEW POWERFUL BOMB, THAT CAN RIP THROUGH CONCRETE, BUT APPARENTLY DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO EXPLODE TRASH CANS.”
“IT WOULD APPEAR THAT WAY.” HIROKO SAID.
“THAT MEANS, MT AND SWC COULD RULE THE WORLD.” AJ SAID. “IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE….MT AND SWC RULEING THE WORLD. LET’S GO AROUND THE TABLE AND EACH OF US TELL WHAT WE THINK IT WOULD BE LIKE. IT’LL BE FUN.”
“IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE NICE AND THE ARMY IS STRONG.” I SAID.
“MY GOD. WE CAN’T LET THAT HAPPEN.” AJ SAID. “NOW, LET’S-”
“SIR!” YOSHIDUDE CAME RUSHING INTO THE ROOM.
“WHAT?” AJ ASKED.
“IT’S MT AND SWC…OUR TROOPS HAVE RETREATED OUT OF NORTH AMERICA. MT AND SWC NOW HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OF NORTH AMERICA.” YOSHIDUDE SAID.
“MY GOD, THIS IS HAPPENING QUICKER THAN I HOPED.” AJ SAID.
“SHIDO, WHY DON’T YOU GO DOWN THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT A MAIN CHARACTER CAN DO? TAKE YOUR SQUAD WITH YOU.” AJ SAID.
“THANK YOU, AJ.” I SAID. “I’M NAWT GONNA LET YOU DOWN THIS TIME.”

A ROFLCOPTER RIDE FROM ASIA TO A MT AND SWC NORTH AMERICA WAS SOMETHING I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. BUT IT DID AND I HAD TO GO OVER THERE AND TRY TO TAKE BACK THE WHOLE CONTINENT WITH JAMEZ, HYPER AND HIROKO. EHHHH YEAH WE WERE PRETTY MUCH FUCKED. THEN I REALIZED. WHO’S FLYING THE ROFLCOPTER?
“JAMEZ WHO’S FLYING THE ROFLCOPTER?” I ASKED.
“YOU ARE.” HE SAID.
“UHHHHHHH” I SAID.
AND THEN THE ROFLCOPTER STARTED FALLING FROM THE SKY.
“OSHI OSHI OSHI” JAMEZ SAID. “WE ALL HAVE TO JUMP OFF.”
“NOT SO FAST!” ZENKU SAID.
“ZENKU, BUT YOU’RE DEAD!” I SAID.
“SHIDO, HAVE YOU NOT BEEN READING? NO ONE REALLY DIES IN THIS STORY!” HE SAID.
“HOW’D YOU COME BACK TO LIFE?” I ASKED.
“DOES THE WORD 1UP MUSHROOM MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?” HE ASKED.
“YEAH. IT MEANS A NIGHT WHERE I FORGOT WHO I WAS AND SLEPT WITH SOME FAT GUY.” I SAID.
“WELL IM BACK AND READY TO HELP.” ZENKU SAID.
“GREAT. SO YOU CAN STOP THE PLANE FROM CRASHING?” HIROKO ASKED.
“I SAID I WAS READY TO HELP I NEVER SAID I WAS READY TO HELP NOW.” ZENKU SAID.
“OH FUCK YOU, YOU DAMN COW.” I SAID.
“JAMEZ, HOW MANY PARACHUTES ARE THERE?” I ASKED.
“4” JAMEZ SAID. “I THOUGHT THAT’S ALL WE WOULD NEED.”
“THEN ZENKU MUST BE THE ONE TO DIE.” HYPER SAID.
“WAIT” ZENKU SAID. “I CAN SHARE A PARACHUTE WITH SOMEONE.”
“1..2..3 NOT IT!” I SAID.
“NOT IT!” JAMEZ SAID.
“NOT IT!” HYPER SAID.
“I GUESS I’M IT.” HIROKO SAID.
“ALRIGHT SO ZENKU SHARES A PARACHUTE WITH HIROKO THEN.” I SAID. “THEN REST OF US GET OUR OWN.”
I WAS THE FIRST TO JUMP OUT. THEN JAMEZ. THEN HYPER. FINALLY, IT WAS HIROKO AND ZENKU’S TURN TO JUMP OUT. THEY JUMPED OUT AND….
FELL. STRAIGHT DOWN. CAUSE ZENKU’S SO FAT.
THE IMPACT OF THEM HITTING THE GROUND WAS BIGGER THAN A NUCLEAR EXPLOSIAN. AT LAST, HYPER, JAMEZ, AND I REACHED THE GROUND. THERE WAS A HUGE CRATER LEFT FROM THEM HITTING THE GROUND. WE ALL LOOKED IN IT.
“IT’S OKAY! I’M OKAY!” ZENKU SAID.
“DAMMIT, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO KILL YOU” I SAID.
“WHAT ABOUT HIROKO?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“IDK. HIROKO?” ZENKU SAID.
HIROKO JUST LIED THERE.
“WELP SHE’S DEAD LET’S-” BUT I STOPPED WHEN I SAW HIROKO MOVE.
WHEN SHE GOT UP HER ENTIRE FACE FELL OFF.
“WTF” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHO ARE YOU?” HYPER ASKED.
“I AM JACKATTACK” HIROKO…ER…JACKATTACK SAID.
“JACKATTACK! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT YOU WHEN WE MET!” I SAID.
“JACKATTACK WTF?” JAMEZ SAID. “WHY WERE YOU HIROKO?”
“UM BECAUSE I AM A DOUBLE AGENT ROBOT SENT TO DESTROY THIS SQUAD.” JACKATTACK SAID.
“YOU’RE A ROBOT?” I ASKED.
“YES, HOW DO YOU THINK I GET SO MANY FOLLOWERS? I CAN BRAINWASH AND DESTROY PEOPLE’S MINDS.” JACKATTACK SAID.
“BUT…IF YOU’RE A DOUBLE AGENT…WHY DID THEY BOMB YOU TOO WHEN THEY DROPPED THE BOMB ON US?” HYPER ASKED.
“CAUSE YOU GUYS WERE GONNA DIE ANYWAYS SO THEY MIGHT AS WE HAVE TAKEN ME OUT TOO.” JACK SAID.
“BUT YOU HELPED ME AND HYPER SURVIVE” I SAID.
“YEAH CAUSE I WAS MAD AT THEM FOR KILLING ME TOO” JACK SAID.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST GET IN THE TRASHCAN AND STOP ME AND HYPER FROM GOING IN THEM?” I ASKED.
“I…ER….FUCK!” JACK SAID. “IT DOESN’T MATTER NOW! I’M TAKING YOU DOWN TO CHINA TOWN AND BEATING YOUR ASSES WITH A LEAD PIPE.”
“OH BRING IT ON JACKATTACK! BRING. IT. ON.” I SAID.
“K BISH WATCH THIS MOTHER FUCKIN MASTERPIECE” JACKATTACK SAID AS HE TRANSFORMED HIS ROBOT HANDS INTO GUNS.
THEN JAMEZ SAID “FUCK”
AND ZENKU SAID “DON’T WORRY YOU GUYS GOT ME NOW REMEMBER? I GOT BOMBS”
ZENKU THREW A BOMB AT JACKATTACK. IT DIDN’T GO OFF.
“MUST HAVE BEEN A DUD.” ZENKU SAID. HE PICKED IT UP. “WELL I COULD ALWAYS USE IT AGA-”
AND THEN THE BOMB EXPLODED IN HIS HAND.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!” ZENKU SAID.
“I HAVE THE ABILITY TO EXPLODE BOMBS WITH MY EYES” JACK SAID.
“THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!” ZENKU SAID.
“IT DOESN’T HAVE TO--I‘M JACKATTACK!” JACKATTACK SAID.
“GREAT SO ZENKU’S USELESS.” JAMEZ SAID. “HYPER WHAT CAN YOU DO.”
“HOLD ON, I’M WORKING ON IT.” HYPER SAID.
“OOOO….KAAAAY….SHIDO…DO SOMETHING!” JAMEZ SAID.
“K. WE’LL FIGHT MACHINE WITH MACHINE. SAY HELLO TO MY NEW BLUE FALCON!” I SAID.
MY BLUE FALCON CAME ZOOMING AT ME, AND HIT ZENKU WHO FLEW INTO THE NEARBY OCEAN. I JUMPED INTO MY BLUE FALCON.
“SHIDO! THE BLUE FALCON DOESN’T HAVE GUNS!” JAMEZ SAID.
“I KNOW, I’M GOIN OLD SCHOOL STYLE BBY” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT MY SHOT GUN AND SHOT AT JACKATTACK WHILE RIDEING IN MY BLUE FALCON. BUT THE BULLETS DIDN’T SEEM TO HURT JACKATTACK.
“YOU CAN’T HURT ME!” JACKATTACK SAID.
HE SHOT AT MY BLUE FALCON TEARING IT, TRYING TO TURN IT INTO BITS.
“SOMEONE HELP!” I SAID.
JAMEZ SAID “WELL WUT CAN I DO?”
THEN HYPER SAID “I’M READY!”
“READY TO GET PWNZORED?” JACKATTACK SAID.
“OYA WELL EAT THIS YOU KARMA WHORE!” HYPER SAID. “CHAOS BLAST!”
AND AN EXPLOSIAN ERUPTED FROM HYPER THAT DAMAGED JACKATTACK GREATLY. HE FLEW INTO THE AIR. I JUMPED OUT OF MY BLUE FALCON TO GO STRAIGHT AT HIM. JACKATTACK SAID “I DO NOT DIE! I WILL NOT DIE!”
AND I SAID “FALCON PUNCH!”
AND FALCON PUNCHED JACKATTACK RIGHT IN THE CHEST.
“CAPTAIN SHIDO!!!!!!!” HYPER YELLED OUT.
A BLAST OF ENERGY BLEW FROM THE PUNCH. JACKATTACK TURNED INTO PURE AIR FROM THE BLAST AND I FELL BACK, LANDING ON THE GROUND.
FOR THE NOOBS WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT IT LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE [url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw&feature=related"]THIS.[/url]
JAMEZ WATCHED IN AMAZEMENT.
“IS IT DONE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“YES” I SAID. “JACKATTACK WILL NOT BE COMING BACK EVER.”
“GOOD JOB SHIDO. THAT WAS EPIC.” JAMEZ SAID.
“OWUT. AND MY CHAOS BLAST WAS NOT EPIC? Y’KNOW WUT SHADOW IS JUST AS EPIC AS CAPTAIN FALCON WILL EVER BE.” HYPER SAID.
“FALCON PUNCH!” I SAID AS I FALCON PUNCHED HYPER. HE WENT FLYING INTO THE AIR.
“LOOKS LIKE I’M BLASTING OFF AGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINN!” HYPER SCREAMED.
“YEEUP! THAT’S RIGHT” HIS PET HEDGEHOG SAID.
“YOU JUST KILLED HYPER!” JAMEZ SAID.
“NAW, HE’LL JUST LAND AHEAD OF US. WE BETTER GET GOING NOW IF WE WANNA CATCH UP TO HIM.” I SAID.
“WAIT GUYS DON’T FORGET ME!” ZENKU SAID ALL WET WITH BLOOD SQUIRTING OUT OF HIS ARM.

THE GROUNDS OF NORTH AMERICA WERE TOTALLY MT AND SWCIZED. IT WAS A FUCKIN NIGHTMERE. AND SINCE MT AND SWC WERE TOTAL OPPOSITES, YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT TO EXCEPT! ONE MINUTE YOU’D BE WALKING THROUGH CLEAN AND “SMART” PEOPLE LAUGHING ABOUT SOME GAY EGG PAWNZ OR SOMETHING, AND THE NEXT YOU’D BE WALKING THROUGH THE GHETTO HOPEING NO ONE NOTICED YOU WERE ASIAN.
BUT LUCKILY NO ONE NOTICED WE WERE FROM NR. UNTIL LATER THAT DAY!
REMEMBER HOW I FUCKED TIME UP AND CHEFMAN WAS A CAPTAIN? WELL, NOT IN THIS WORLD. HE WAS JUST SOME OLD GUY. I SAW HIM WHILE WALKING THROUGH WEST NORTH MARYLAND 2.0.
“WAIT ONE SEC UR CHEF I REMEMBER YOU YOU KILLED ZENKU” I SAID.
“WAT” ZENKU SAID.
“I HAVENT KILLED NO ONE IN A LONG TIME K NOW RUN AWAY KIDS.” CHEF SAID.
“WUT NO COME WITH US” I SAID.
“WTF GO AWAY!” CHEF SAID.
“WERE PLANNING ON DESTROYING THE MT AND SWC GOVERNMENT AND I KNOW YOU HAVE MILITARY EXP. POINTS.” I SAID.
“DAMN RIGHT. IM LEVEL 87. I DIDN’T USE RARE CANDIES OR NOTHIN.” CHEF SAID.
“GOOD NOW COME WITH US.” I SAID.
“NAW, MY PLACE IS HERE.” CHEF SAID. “PROTECTING THE PEOPLE OF THIS CITY.”
“WTF DID YOU TURN INTO BATMAN? COME ON YOU OLD ASSWIPE!” JAMEZ SAID.
“EVENTUALLY THE WINTER WILL COME IN AND I’LL BE BURIED IN THE SNOW AND TRAVEL THE GREAT DISTANCE TO MEET GOD.” CHEF SAID.
“WINTER WAS OVER 2 WEEKS AGO.” ZENKU SAID.
“OH DAMMIT. WELL I DON’T FEEL LIKE WAITING THAT LONG, I’LL GO.” CHEF SAID.
“WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE?” I ASKED.
“THEY CAN ALL SHAKE HANDS WITH THE DEVIL FOR ALL I CARE, NOW LET’S GO!” CHEF SAID.
THEN A BIG BOX POPPED UP. IT SAID:
CHEFMAN HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!
CHEF CAN FLY YOU SMALL DISTANCES BY PRESSING C DOWN.
WE WALKED FOR HOURS PAST OLD CITIES WHICH WOULD SOON BE DESTROYED BY WAR. DAMN I JUST GAVE A SPOILER. WE REACHED A CITY, WHEN WE SOON REALIZED INFO HAD PASSED THAT WE WERE NR SOLDIERS.
“HALT RIGHT THERE!” SOME ASIAN GUY SAID.
“WHO ARE YOU?” WE ASKED.
“MY NAME IS RK AND YOUR ALL UNDER ARREST!” RK SAID.
“OSHI FOR WUT” I ASKED.
“YOUR ALL NR SOLDIERS. NOW LETS GO UR GOING TO THE SUNNYDAN CASTLE.” RK SAID.
“SO 2 KEEP US FROM GOING INTO THE CASTLE YOUR BRINGING US INTO THE CASTLE. DAMN AND YOU CALL YOURSELF ASIAN.” JAMEZ SAID.
AND THEN RK SHOT JAMEZ IN THE KNEE CAP. WE LEARNED THAT RK DOES NOT FUCK AROUND.
WE ALL GOT TO THE CASTLE (SOME FASTER THAN OTHERS AMIRITE JAMEZ?) AND WERE PRESENTED BEFORE DAN.
“WHERES SUNNY” I ASKED.
“HES NOT HERE.” DAN SAID.
“I WANT SUNNY” I SAID.
“EVERYBODY WANTS SUNNY. NOBODY WANTS DAN. Y’KNOW WHAT? I WAS GOING TO LET YOU ALL FREE IF YOU WENT BACK TO NR, BUT FUCK IT. IM SICK OF BEING NICE.” DAN SAID.
HE SNAPPED HIS FINGERS AND SKY CAME OUT OF THE DARK CORNOR.
“KILL ALL OF THEM.” DAN SAID AND HE LEFT THEM ROOM.
“WAIT NO WE WANT DAN!” JAMEZ SAID. “OH FUCK YOU SHIDO”
“UNCUFF THEM. I WANT THIS TO BE A FAIR FIGHT.” SKY SAID
“DAMN, IS THIS THE LAND OF THE RETARDED?” JAMEZ ASKED. “NEXT YOU’LL BE ASKING TO GIVE US WEA-”
“AND GIVE THEM WEAPONS TOO.” SKY SAID.
SO TOPIX HANDED US SWORDS.
“THANKS BITCH” ZENKU SAID AND STABBED TOPIX’S HEAD.
“OH FUCK” SKY SAID.
“YEAH! LETS BLOW UP THIS MOTHERFUCKIN CASTLE!” JAMEZ SAID.
“WAIT, WE HAVE TO DEFEAT SKY FIRST.” CHEF SAID.
BUT THEN SKY BLEW UP HIS BUBBLE BUDDY AND BEGAN FLYING WITH IT.
“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH US! NEVER!” HE YELLED AS HE FLOATED UP.
“NEV----ER…” HE SAID AS HE SANK BACK DOWN.
“KILL HIM!” CHEF YELLED OUT, AND WE ALL FOLLOWED HIS ORDERS.
I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE THAT EASY TO KILL SKY. I MEAN, I THOUGHT HE’D BE LIKE ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE WE HAD TO KILL AT THE END OF THE STORY….I MEAN…HES SKY! BUT THEN AGAIN, NOBODY STAYS DEAD IN THIS STORY…DO THEY? FORESHADOWINGFORESHADOWING.
“WOW. WE DID IT.” I SAID. “WHAT DO WE DO NOW?”
“WE GO WATCH TOY STORY!” ZENKU SAID.
“YEEEAAHH!!!!!” WE ALL SHOUTED.
“…OR WE SHOULD GO INTO THE ROOM DAN WENT INTO?” CHEF SAID.
“K” ZENKU SAID. “AND THEN WE WATCH TOY STORY!”
“YEEEAHHH!!!!” WE ALL SHOUTED.
“OR WE COULD WATCH TOY STORY FIRST!” JAMEZ SAID.
“YEEEAAAHHH!!!” WE ALL SHOUTED.
“AND THEN WE CAN WATCH A BUGS LIFE!” I SAID.
NOBODY SAID ANYTHING.
“I DON’T LIKE FUCKIN NAZI CATERPILLARS.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WAIT, MAYBE WE CAN ASK DAN IF HE HAS MONSTERS INC SO WE CAN WATCH THAT TOO!” ZEN SAID.
“YEEEEAAAHH!!!!” WE ALL AGREED.
WE ALL WENT INTO THE ROOM DAN WENT INTO.
IT LED INTO A ROOM WITH ANOTHER DOOR. TO OPEN THE DOOR, YOU NEEDED A PASSWORD.
“WUTS THE PASSWORD?” I ASKED.
“WTF IDK THIS IS STUPID!” JAMEZ SAID.
“YOU’RE STUPID!” CHEF SAID.
“I HATE YOU!” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHY DON’T YOU STAND BACK, AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!” CHEF SAID.
“PASSWORD: CORRECT” THE DOOR SAID AND IT OPENED BY ITSELF.
WE ALL ENTERED THE ROOM TO FIND IN HORROR, A GLASS TUBE FILLED WITH WATER OF A CREATURE THAT LOOKED LIKE…..ME! (LOL ME. YOU‘LL GET THE JOKE LATER)
“WTF IS THAT…” I SAID.
DAN APPEARED OUT OF NO WHERE.
“THIS IS MY CREATION.” DAN SAID.
“WTF IT LOOKS LIKE A CHEAP RIPOFF AND UNLAUGHABLE.” I SAID.
“WELL SHIDO, AFTER SEEING WHAT A MAIN CHARACTER CAN DO, I DECIDED TO CLONE YOU. USING SOME HAIR YOU LEFT FROM VISITING MT SO MUCH, AND CREATED THIS CLONE. IT CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO. IT CAN EVEN KILL YOU…FOR GOOD.” DAN SAID. “NOW, IMAGINE MY ARMY FULL OF SHIDO CLONES….UNSTOPABLE. WE USED THIS CLONE TO TAKE OVER NORTH AMERICA, AND NEXT EUROPE. THEN…THEN WE GO FOR ASIA.”
“DID YOU ATLEAST HAVE SOME CREATIVITY TO RENAME IT?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“YES.” DAN SAID. “EVERYONE, MEET MEBALL.”
“FUCK THIS SHIT HE CANT CLONE SHIDO LETS BLOW UP THIS MUTHER FUCKER” ZEN SAID.
“IT’S NOT THAT EASY ZEN.” DAN SAID. “MEBALL WILL PROTECT ME. AND YOU WILL DIE.”
“WUT? I COULD TAKE OUT THIS MEBALL ANY DAY.” ZEN SAID.
“FINE THEN. MEBALL GO!” DAN SAID.
MEBALL BURSTED OUT OF THE GLASS.
WILD ZENKU HAS APPEARED!
WHAT SHOULD MEBALL DO?
ZENKU USED GUN ATTACK!
IT NOT VERY EFFECTIVE…
MEBALL USED UP SMASH B OVER SPIKE!
IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
ZENKU HAS FALLEN IN LOVE!
ZENKU WILL NOT ATTACK, FOR IT IS IN LOVE WITH MEBALL!
MEBALL USED HYPER BEAM!
ZENKU HAS FLED!
“LETS GTFO OF HERE GUYS THAT CLONES TOO STRONG!” ZENKU SAID.
“NO, I MUST KILL MY CLONE NOW BEFORE IT BECOMES BETTER.” I SAID.
“OH BRING IT ON BITCH I CAN SO TAKE YOU” MEBALL SAID.
“ONLY I KNOW MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS.” I SAID. “ER WAIT I HAVE NO WEAKNESSES….”
“MMK. GOOD 2 KNO.” DAN SAID. “MEBALL, KILL THEM. AND I MEAN KILL THEM, DON’T LET THEM PASS LIKE SKY.” DAN SAID AS HE LEFT THE ROOM.
“WUT DO WE DO CHEF?” WE ALL ASKED CHEF.
“LEAVE.” CHEF SAID.
WE ALL RAN OUT OF THE ROOM. MEBALL DIDN’T FOLLOW US.
“ZENKU, PUT DOWN A BOMB HERE, AND BLOW THIS PLACE UP!” JAMEZ SAID.
“ER….WELL REMEMBER WHEN SHIDO HIT ME WITH HIS BLUE FALCON? WELL, ALL MY BOMBS SORT OF…FLEW OUT WHILE I WAS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.” ZENKU SAID.
“WAT?? OH DAMMIT!” CHEF SAID.
“THIS PLACE CAN’T BE LEFT HERE!” I SAID. “WE MUST DESTROY IT!”
“WE CAN’T” JAMEZ SAID. “LETS JUST GO.”
BUT AS WE EXITED THE MAIN DOOR, WE SAW SUNNYCIDE THERE.
“WTF” SUNNY SAID.
“UHOH” I SAID.
“NR GUYS?” SUNNY ASKED.
“YEAH” ZENKU SAID.
“GOT PWNZERED BY MEBALL?” SUNNY ASKED.
“YEAH” JAMEZ SAID.
“CANT BLOW UP THE CASTLE CAUSE YOU OWNED JACKATTAX TOO HARD AND LOST ALL YOUR BOMBS?” SUNNY ASKED.
“YEAH.” I SAID.
“HERE” SUNNY SAID.
SHIDO OBTAINED A BOMB! SHIDO PUT THE BOMB IN HIS KICKASS POCKET.
(SORRY FOR THE CONSTANT PKMN JOKES IN THIS CHAPTER, IVE BEEN PLAYING PLATINUM).
“WHY ARE YOU HELPING US?” CHEF ASKED.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS AN MT RUNNED CASTLE. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN BEING MTS ALLY. IM ONLY WITH THEM TO GET THEIR POWER. AND I HATE DAN. SO BLOW IT UP.” SUNNY SAID.
“WOW THANKS!” I SAID.
WE BLEW THE CASTLE UP. BUT A HELICOPTER FLEW AWAY, AND WE KNEW DAN AND MEBALL GOT AWAY.
“DAMN. SUNNY GOT A SNIPER? MAYBE WE CAN TAKE OUT THE PILOT. SUNNY?” JAMEZ SAID.
BUT SUNNY WAS ALREADY GONE IN A FLASH. BUT, NOW THAT WE HAD DONE THAT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON OUR LIST OF THINGS TO DO FINALLY NEEDED TO BE COMPLETED. WE WATCH TOY STORY FOR 15 HOURS STRAIGHT.

THE WAR WITH MT AND SWC HAD GOTTEN FIERCE…TOO FIERCE. NR COULDN’T EVEN HOLD ITSELF UP AGAINST ENEMIES ANYMORE. NR WASN’T STRONG ANYMORE…IT JUST HAD A LOT OF LAND. LIKE RUSSIA AMIRITE. AND OUR LOSS WAS INEV WHEN MY CLONE, MEBALL JOINED THE WAR. NOT TO MENTION THAT DAN WAS WORKING ON SEVERAL OTHER CLONES ATM. AT LAST OUR LEADER AJ GAVE A SPEECH TO NR.
“MY FELLOW NINTENDO REVOLUTIONISTS…” AJ SAID. “THE TIME HAS COME TO BREAK OUT OUR BIG GUNS. WE HAVE BEEN HOLDING BACK BEFORE, BUT WE HAVE SEEN THE TRUE FACE OF THE ENEMY. AND AS I TALK, 35 F-16S ARE FLYING THEIR WAY TO NORTH AMERICA AND ARE GOING TO TEAR IN IN HALF. WELL NOT LITERALLY. BUT CALIFORNIA WILL PROBABLY FORM ITS OWN ISLAND OR SOMETHING. IDK. I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON THESE THINGS. BUT I JUST WANTED TO ASSURE YOU, WE ARE ALL SAFE. AND THOSE OF US WHO ARE ENSLAVED AT NR RIGHT NOW, ARE GOING TO BE TAKING A SHOWER. A SHOWER OF FREEDOM, JUSTICE, AND GRATITUDE. AND IF THIS PLAN DOESN’T WORK…WELL I THINK IT WILL BE RAINING CATS AND DOGS IF THIS PLAN DOESN’T WORK.”
THEN IT STARTED RAINING CATS AND DOGS.
“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!” AJ SAID.
“SIR.” YOSHIDUDE SAID. “WE JUST RECEIVED A REPORT THAT ALL F-16S HAVE BEEN SHOT DOWN AND DESTROYED. MT AND SWC FORCES HAD REACHED THEIR WAY TO EUROPE.”
“WAT!” SAID A MAN IN THE FRONT ROW. “YA KNOW WUT MR. AJ! YOU FUCKIN SUCK! THIS COUNTRY SUCKS! IMA MAKE MY OWN COUNTRY! WHO’S WITH ME!”
THE CROWD SHOUTED OUT IN AGREEMENT.
“AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” AJ ASKED.
“MY NAME IS EAZYSEPH.” THE MAN SAID. “AND NOW---WHO WILL JOIN MY COUNTRY!”
THE ENTIRE CROWD LEFT WITH EAZYSEPH.
“I GUESS WE HAVE LOST THE WAR.” AJ SAID.
“NOT YET MR AJ SIR” I SAID. “ME AND MY PARTY ARE GOING TO TRY TO PUSH THE MT AND SWC ARMY BACK TO NA.”
“HOW. HOW THE FUCK. YOUR TEAM FUCKIN SUCKS. EVER SINCE THE FUCKIN STORY BEGAN, YOU HAVE NEVER COMPLETED A MISSION. DID YOU KNOW THAT? IN FACT, YOU ALWAYS MAKE THINGS WORSE WHEN YOU GO ON A MISSION! AND YET I CALL YOU MY BEST TEAM!” AJ SAID.
“SIR, I KNOW WE HAVENT HAD MUCH LUCK IN THE PAST, BUT EVERYONE ON MY TEAM HAS REACHED LVL 100, AND WE’RE READY.” I SAID.
“WUTEVER. GO ON YOUR MISSION. I’LL BE BURYING MYSELF IN HOLE.” AJ SAID.
“HAVE FUN” ZENKU SAID.
“WHAT HAVE WE DONE.” I SAID. “THAT POOR CREATURE CAME TO US IN HIS TIME OF NEED, AND WE FAILED HIM. AJ’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR US WHEN WE NEEDED HIM! ZENKU, WHEN YOU FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR AND GOT STUCK, WHO HELPED YOU OUT?”
“NO ONE. YOU ALL LAUGHED AT ME AND THREW PEANUTS AT ME. I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL THE FUCKIN FLOOR CRACKED OPEN, AND I FELL DOWN TO THE NEXT FLOOR.” ZENKU SAID.
“AND JAMEZ, WHO SHOWED YOU HOW TO NOT BE A NOOB?” I SAID.
“A CRACK-WHORE.” JAMEZ SAID.
“RIGHT! SO IF WE COULD ALL JUST PRETEND THAT AJ WAS A CRACK-WHORE, I’M SURE WE COULD LEARN WHAT IT MEANS, TO BE IN THE ARMY.” I SAID.
“RIGHT. OKAY, TO PUSH THESE GUYS BACK WE NEED A GUN STRATEGY.” JAMEZ SAID.
“K” CHEF SAID. “HAILSTORM TEAM”
“HELL YEAH” ZENKU SAID.
WE HID BEHIND THE HILLS IN EUROPE. WE SAW THEIR TROOPS MARCHING THROUGH EUROPE. BURNING, DESTROYING EVERYTHING.
“WE HAVE TO ATTACK NOW!!!!” ZENKU SAID.
“NOT YET.” CHEF SAID.
“BUT THEY’RE GONNA KILL EVERYBODY!” ZENKU SAID.
“YOU’LL KNOW WHEN…” CHEF SAID.
THEN, TANKS STARTED TRAILING BEHIND THE TROOPS. THEIR TANKS WERE DIFFERENT THOUGH. THEY WERE BIG, THEY WERE FAST, AND THEY HAD A WINDOW TO SEE OUT OF.
“THAT’S IT GUYS” CHEF SAID. “SNIPE THE DRIVER. THE TANK WILL GO OUT OF CONTROL AND RUN OVER THE WHOLE TRAIL OF TROOPS.”
“THAT IS SO SMART.” I SAID.
I AIMED CAREFULLY AT THE DRIVER. THEN I GOT A WEIRD FEELING. WHATEVER HE WAS THINKING ABOUT NOW WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST THING HE WAS EVER GOING TO THINK ABOUT. WHAT IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRIVE, BUT HIS TEAMMATES MADE HIM? IT ISNT HIS FAULT HES DRIVING. WHAT IF HE WAS RETIREING TODAY? I DON’T THINK I WANTED TO SHOOT HIM. BUT IT DIDN’T MATTER BECAUSE JAMEZ DID.
“DID YOU GET HIM?” CHEF ASKED.
“EEUP. HIS BLOODS ALL OVER THE WINDOW.” JAMEZ SAID.
THEN THE TANK STOPPED.
“IT…STOPPED.” JAMEZ SAID.
“….APPARENTLY TANKS DON’T MOVE IF NO ONES PUSHIN ON THE FUCKING GAS!” ZENKU SAID. “ALL THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE DIED FOR NOTHING! I KNOW WE COULD HAVE SAVED SOME! BUT MR. YOU’LL KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME, OVER HERE, JUST COULDN’T DO THAT!”
“SHUT UP FATASS” CHEF SAID. “AINT YOU THE ONE WITH THE BOMBS?”
“YEAH SO?” ZEN SAID.
“BLOW UP THE TANK” CHEF SAID.
“BUT WERE UP HERE, AND IT’S DOWN THERE.” ZEN SAID.
“FINE. ANYONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE A PUSSY, WILLING TO SLIDE DOWN THERE, AND PLANT THE BOMB ON THE TANK?” CHEF SAID.
“I WILL.” JAMEZ SAID.
“BE CAREFUL JAMEZ” I SAID.
“I HOPE YOU DIE” ZENKU SAID.
WE WATCHED JAMEZ MAKE HIS WAY DOWN TO THE TANK. HE PUT THE BOMB ON THE TANK. HE CAME BACK UP.
“WAT NOW.” JAMEZ SAID.
“…YOU HAVE TO SET OFF THE BOMB.” CHEF SAID.
“JUST SHOOT IT.” JAMEZ SAID.
“OKAY.” CHEF SAID.
CHEF SHOT THE BOMB.
BoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOMMMM!!!!
THE TANK ERUPTED, AND EVERYTHING STARTED FLYING EVERYWHERE. A GREAT BIG WHITE LIGHT FLASHED WHICH NEARLY BLINDED ME. THE BLAST PUSHED US ALL BACKWARDS.
WHEN THE EXPLOSION STOPPED I GOT UP TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED.
“WHY WAS THAT EXPLOSION SO BIG?” I ASKED.
“PROBABLY BECAUSE WE SHOT IT INSTEAD OF SETTING IT OFF” CHEF SAID.
“I DIDN’T KNOW IT MATTERED.” JAMEZ SAID.
“IT DOES IN THIS STORY” CHEF SAID. “NOW WHERE’S ZENKU?”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF!!!!” WE HEARD FROM A DISTANCE.
IT WAS ZENKU. HE HAD BEEN CAPTURED BY SOME SOLDIERS.
“YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BLOW US UP? WELL, YOU FORGOT ABOUT OUR AIR FLEET, FATASS.” KIRIN SAID.
“WAIT! DON’T TAKE ME! THERE ARE OTHERS OVER THERE! TAKE JAMEZ!” ZENKU SAID.
“OH FUCKIN ZENKU….” WE ALL SAID.
KIRIN CAME UP TO US.
“SO THERE ARE MORE! YOU’RE ALL COMING WITH US” KIRIN SAID.
“FUCK” I SAID.
SUDDENLY, A COMET CAME DOWN AND CRUSHED KIRIN INTO GUTS. BUT IT WASN’T A COMET. IT WAS A ROCK! ER--WAIT NO IT WAS HYPER.
“HYPER! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!” I ASKED.
“REMEMBER? YOU PUNCHED ME AND I FLEW UP INTO THE AIR IN NA? WELP, I LANDED HERE. ONLY TOO ME 5 FUCKIN DAYS.” HYPER SAID.
“GUYS, MORE MT SOLDIERS ARE COMING UP HERE!” ZENKU SAID. “IN A STRAIGHT LINE!”
“A STRAIGHT LINE YOU SAY?” JAMEZ SAID.
THEN JAMEZ PUSHED ZENKU DOWN THE HILL. ZEN ROLLED ALL THE WAY DOWN, SQUASHING THE MT TROOPS.
“EW! IM ALL BLOODY!” ZENKU SAID.
“THAT’S WUT YOU GET BITCH.” JAMEZ SAID.

WITH MT AND SWC OUT OF EUROPE, WE NOW HAD TO TAKE BACK NA.
“K HERES THE PLAN. WE KILL DAN.” I SAID.
“KILL DAN? WE CAN’T…FOR HE HIS THE MAIN ANTAGONIST IN THE STORY! SAVE HIM FOR THE END!” CHEF SAID.
“THEN…WE DO THE UNTHINKABLE. WE TRAVEL TO A WORLD WHERE DAN IS THE MAIN PRTAGONIST IN THE STORY. THEN WE KILL HIM THERE.” I SAID.
“BUT WON’T HE JUST BE DEAD IN THAT WORLD? ALIVE IN OURS?” JAMEZ SAID.
“FINE. WE COULD HAVE DONE IT THE FUN WAY, BUT NOW WE’LL DO IT THE NORMAL WAY. LAUNCH NUKES.” I SAID.
“WELL WAIT2GO JAMEZ” ZEN SAID.
“WAIT…WHAT ABOUT MEBALL?” HYPER SAID. “MEBALL IS UNSTOPPABLE.”
“HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHO MEBALL IS? YOU WEREN’T THERE WHEN WE SAW HER?” I SAID.
“WELL YOU KNOW, AJ TOLD ME.” HYPER SAID.
“K THEN” ZEN SAID.
“WELL, TO KILL MEBALL…LET’S SEE…WAIT I GOT IT!” CHEF SAID. “SHIDO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO GET NUKED?”
“WELL LETS SEE…” I SAID. “I’D ATTEMPT TO FLY FASTER THAN THE NUKE, TACKLEING IT, AND TAKE IT ABOUT, WHILE DROPPING IN THE AIR UNTIL IT IS NOTHING.”
“K THEN WE’LL JUST MAKE IT SO MEBALL CANT DO THAT…BUT HOW?” CHEF ASKED.
“I GOT IT.” JAMEZ SAID. “ZEN, YOU HOLD ON TO THE BOMB SHIELDING IT FROM MEBALL. THEN YOU SACRAFICE YOURSELF TO BOMB MEBALL. YOU WILL BE A HERO?”
“ME? A HERO? IVE NEVER BEEN A HERO BEFORE! I’LL DO IT!” ZEN SAID.
“GOOD” I SAID. “ZENKU I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU.”
“SO WILL I” JAMEZ SAID.
“SO WILL I” HYPER SAID.
“SO WILL I” CHEF SAID.
“RIGHT SO THIS PLAN IS A WIN-WIN.” JAMEZ SAID. “WE KILL MEBALL AND ZENKU AND MT AND SWC. WAIT, SO THAT WOULD BE A WINWINWINWIN. OR MAYBE A LOSEWINWINWIN FOR SOME. OR A LOSEWINLOSEWIN. OR A LOSELOSELOSELOSE. OR FOR MT IT COULD BE A LOSELOSELOSEWIN. BUT FOR SWC IT COULD BE A LOSELOSEWINWIN. IDK.”
“OH I’M SORRY ARE YOU DONE TALKING?” I SIAD. “I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS FF WAS ABOUT ME, NOT ABOUT A FURRY WHO NEVER STFUS”
“SORRY” JAMEZ SAID.
“WOW I CANT WAIT TO BE A HERO. YOU’RE A HERO EVERY DAY. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE.” ZENKU ASKED.
“WELL, ZEN, IT’S JUST A NORMAL FEELING FOR ME NOW. BUT WHEN I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE I-”
“IM OLDER THAN YOU.” ZEN SAID.
“WAIT WAT? BUT YOUR SHORTER THAN ME.” I SAID.
“THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.” ZENKU SAID.
“FINE. I DON’T WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS. SO I’M GOING TO BE THE BIGGER MAN AND WALK AWAY. OH IM SORRY, I FORGOT, THERES NO WAY IN HELL I COULD BE THE BIGGER MAN.” I SAID.
“STFU!” SAID.
THEN NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENED AND THEN IT WAS THE DAY WE WERE GOING TO DROP THE NUKES. WE STRAPPED ZENKU ONTO THE NUKE.
“GUYS I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU ALL BUT I HATE JAMEZ AND SHIDO AND THEY BOTH DESERVE TO COME DOWN HERE WITH ME.” ZENKU SAID.
“WHO WANTS TO PUSH ZENKU OUT OF THE HELICOPTER?” AJ ASKED.
IT WAS A QUESTION I HAD DREAMED ABOUT FOR YEARS.
“I WILL GLADLY DO IT.” I SAID.
“OKAY ON THE COUNT OF 5. 1-2-”
BUT I ALREADY PUSHED ZENKU OUT. DOWN ZENKU FELL UNTIL HE WAS A TINY DOT. AS IF THAT WAS POSSIBLE.
“WOW I CANT BELIEVE ZENKUS DEAD.” HYPER SAID.
“WUT U ALL TALKIN ABOUT.” ZENKU SAID.
“ZENKU WTF? HOW TF ARE YOU HERE?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“OH, WELL AT THE LAST MINUTE I CHICKENED OUT, SO I DECIDED TO NOT DO IT.” ZEN SAID.
“BUT…I JUST PUSHED YOU OFF…” I SAID.
“I WAS NEVER STRAPPED ON TO THE BOMB, I PUT BRY ON THERE INSTEAD.” ZEN SAID.
“BRY????????????????????????????????????????????????” WE ALL SAID.
MEANWHILE AT THE GROUND, MEBALL AND THE OTHERS AT MT WERE WONDERING WHY THERE WAS A HELICOPTER ABOVE THEM. THEN THEY SAW THE BOMB WITH BRYBRY STRAPPED ON IT COMING STRAIGHT AT THEM.
“GUISE I’LL DESTROY THE BOMB.” MEBALL SAID.
MEBALL FLEW TO THE BOMB CAUSE MEBALL CAN FLY, BUT BRY WAS BLOCKING HER FROM DESTROYING THE BOMB.
“HARHAHRHARHARHARHHAR! NOT THIS TIME MEBALL!” BRY SAID.
“GOOD THING I ALWAYS BRING MY, TRUSTY POCKET KNIFE.” MEBALL SAID.
AND MEBALL SLICED BRYBRY IN HALF (THANK GOD AMIRITE).
“WELL ITS TOO LATE NOW LOL THE NUKES ABOUT TO HIT THE GROUND HE CANT STOP IT NOW” ZENKU SAID.
BUT THEN MEBALL KICKED THE NUKE UP INTO THE AIR AND IT FLEW BACK UP TO THE HELICOPTER.
“WAIT..IF THE NUKE EXPLODED ON US…WOULDN’T THE RADIATION STILL AFFECT EVERYONE BELOW?” JAMEZ ASKED.
“NOT IN THIS STORY!” CHEF SAID. “BUT DON’T WORRY, I GOT A PLAN TO STOP THE NUKE! HADES, GO!”
CHEF’S DOG HADES, SPRUNG OUT OF THE HELICOPTER TO TACKLE THE NUKE AND BRING IT BACK DOWN.
“WTF” MEBALL SAID.
“RUFF RUFF RUFF” HADES SAID.
HADES PUSHED THE NUKE ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE GROUND WHERE IT ERUPTED, AND EVERYONE BLEW UP FROM THE IMPACT. THE BUILDING WAS DESTROYED. AS THE HELICOPTER FLEW AWAY, I WATCHED THE SIGHT OF THE END OF THE WAR.
BUT THEN MEBALL STARTED FLYING UP AT THE HELICOPTER BECAUSE HE GOT A POWER STAR AND EVEN THE LITTLE THEME WAS PLAYING LIKE DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN. AND HE FLEW RIGHT THROUGH THE HELICOPTER AND SPLIT IT IN HALF. THE HELICOPTER PIECES FELL BOTH WAYS AND ME AND ZENKU WERE SEPERATED FROM CHEF AND JAMEZ. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE HYPER WENT. I GUESS HE FELL OUT OF THE CHOPPER.
“OMFGWTFBBQ HYPER IS DEAD WAT WAT WAT” I SAID.
“DEAD? NAH I SAW HIM PARACHUTE OUT OF HERE.” ZEN SAID.
“WTF” I SAID.
“YEAH RIGHT BEFORE WE FOUND OUT MEBALL HAD A POWERSTAR.” ZEN SAID.
“WTF? THAT’S ODD” I SAID.
“YEAH BUT RIGHT NOW MAYBE WE SHOULD FIGURE OUT HOW WERE GONNA LIVE HERE. WERE FALLING DOWN TO EARTH, WHERE NUCLEAR RADIATION IS TAKING PLACE.” ZEN SAID.
“ZEN DO YOU HAVE A SWORD” I SAID.
“UH NO IDT SO.” ZEN SAID.
“DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF SHARP STICK.” I ASKED.
“NAW” ZEN SAID.
“WELL YOU’RE USELESS.” I SAID. “WAIT…ZEN I CAN USE YOU INSTEAD!”
“WATS THE PLAN?” ZEN ASKED.
“WELL I WAS GONNA STAB MYSELF SO I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THE PAIN OF NUCLEAR DEATH, BUT IF YOU SAT ON ME, THAT’D BE JUST AS GOOD!” I SAID.
“OH FUCK YOU.” ZEN SAID.
“WUT WOULD JESUS DO IF HE WAS IN THIS SITUTATION…?” I ASKED MYSELF. “WAIT THAT’S IT. IM JESUS I CAN FLY. SEE U L8R ZENSTOOPID! LOL!!” I SAID.
I JUMPED OFF INTO THE AIR.
“TAKE ME WITH YOU!” ZEN SAID.
“SRRY-THIS FLIGHT IS FULL.” I SAID.
THEN I FOUND OUT JESUS MUST NOT BE ABLE TO FLY OR SOMETHING.
“OSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” I YELLED AS I DROPPED…6 FEET. “OW”
ZENKU SEEMED TO BE UNHARMED.
“NOW WHAR DID CHEF AND JAMEZ GO?” ZEN ASKED.
“THERES NO TIME NOW WERE GONNA DIE FROM THIS-”
“YES..NUCLEAR RADIATION YOU MENTIONED THAT 500 TIMES.” ZEN SAID.
“BITCH IF YOU DON’T WANNA AGREE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THE STORY NOW.” I SAID.
“YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE I WILL. THIS STORY IS 2FG. EVER SINCE THIS STORY STARTED PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING FAT JOKES ABOUT ME! IM NOT EVEN FAT! I MEAN, MY MOM SAYS I SHOULD EAT MORE HEALTHY BUT IM NOT EVEN FAT! IT IS AN INSULT THAT IN THIS STORY I AM FAT! YOU KNOW WUT! I QUIT!” ZEN SAID. “AND ANOTHER THING-IMMA WRITE MY OWN STORY AND CALL IT…FEAR IN…WT! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! AND GUESS WHAT? SUNNYCIDES GONNA BE FAT IN IT! LOL!”
BUT THEN ZENKU REALIZED HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO OPEN UP MICROSOFT WORD AND DECIDED TO REJOIN THE STORY.
BECAUSE NOTHING REALLY INTERESTING HAPPENED, IM JUST GONNA SKIP TO THE PART WHERE WE ESCAPED THE NUCLEAR AREAS.
“WOW THAT WAS A REAL JOURNEY” I SAID.
“WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE HAD TO BATTLE THE UNICORN KING AND HIS ARMY OF WEEGEE CLONES. IT SURE WAS LUCKY I HAD THAT PIECE OF STRING AND SOME TOOTHPASTE OR WE WOULD HAVE NEVER BEATEN THEM.” ZENKU SAID.
“WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR US TO DO IN THIS CHAPTER” I SAID.
“HAI” SUNNY SAID.
“WHERE’D YOU COME FROM” I ASKED.
“I WAS WATCHIN YOU TWO” SUNNY SAID.
“PERVVVVVVV” ZEN SAID.
“STFU FAT ASS” SUNNY SAID.
“SRSLY Y R U HERE” I SAID.
“CAUSE IM GONNA HELP YOU KILL MEBALL” SUNNY SAID
“WHY?” I ASKED.
“DIDN’T YOU LISTEN TO ME BEFORE? I HATE MT. I WANT SWC TO BE IN CONTROL.” SUNNY SAID.
“K HOW DO WE KILL MEBALL.” ZEN ASKED.
“IDK I SAID I WAS GONNA HELP I DIDN’T SAY I WAS GONNA SOLVE IT FOR YOU.” SUNNY SAID.
“WE NEED CHEF AND JAMEZ HERE FIRST.” I SAID.
“CHEF? LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY ABOUT CHEF.” SUNNY SAID.
“IT WAS A CHRISTMAS DAY WHERE EVERYONE RHYMED,
EXCEPT FOR ME BECAUSE IM TOO LAZY,
ALL THE SWCS IN SWCVILLE LOVED CHRISTMAS,
BUT ON THE TOP OF MOUNT MT LIVED A LITTLE MAN NAMED CHEF,
CHEF HATED THE SWCS HE HATED THEM MORE THAN THE WORLD HATES THE NEW SONIC GAMES,
“OH NO ITS CHRISTMAS” CHEF WOULD SAY
“THE SWCS ARE GONNA DO STUFF THAT’S REALLY GAY (THERES A RHYME FOR YOU LIVE OFF OF THAT ONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE)”
“I KNOW, I’LL STEAL ALL THEIR PRESENTS FROM MY DOG HADES”
“IM GONNA DIE IN THE FUTURE FROM A NUKE” HADES SAID.
SO CHEF STOLE ALL SWCS PRESENTS THAT NIGHT WHILE HADES SANG “YOU’RE A MEAN ONE MR. CHEF,
YOU REALLY ARE A BITCH,
YOU AS HUNGRY AS A HIPPO,
YOU’RE AS EVIL AS A WITCH,
MR. CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EF!
AND THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE:
IF I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HAVING AIDS OR BEING FRIENDS WITH CHEF I RATHER HAVE THE AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDSSS!!!”
“AND THAT’S WHY I HATE CHEF” SUNNY SAID.
“THAT’S TERRIBLE.” I SAID.
“YEAH NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MY ONLINE DATEING WENT THIS WEEK.” SUNNY SAID.

I FOLLOWED SUNNY SOMEWHAT RELUCTANTLY AS ZEN TRIED TO OPEN A PACK OF SKITTLES.
"RIGHT SO WHERE R WE GOING?" I ASKED.
"ISNT IT OBVIOUS WERE GOING TO MTS MAIN HQ TO FUCK THEM UP" SUNNY SAID.
"R U SRS THEY WILL KILL US" ZEN SAID.
"LOLFATPPL" SUNNY SAID.
"IM NOT FAT" ZEN SAID.
"YES YOU ARE" I SAID.
"NO IM-"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MOON, ZEN. YOU ARE FAT." I SAID.
"FUCKTHISSHITDONTNEEDTHIS" ZEN SAID.
"SHUSH" SUNNY SAID. "DO YOU SEE THAT?"
"IS THAT A WALKING DICK??" ZEN ASKED.
"YES" SUNNY SAID. "ITS NAME IS BASEBALLER AND ITS ONE OF DAN'S GUARDS. QUICK GET DOWN."
"RIGHT" I SAID.
"WUT IF U CANT BEND" ZEN SAID.
"LOL1OL1OL1OL1OL1O1LO1L1OL1OL1" ME AND SUNNY SAID.
"HEY WUT IS THAT? IS SOMEONE SPAMMING OVER THERE??!?!?!?!?!?!" BASEBALLER SAID.
"FUCK ZEN GET DOWN" SUNNY SAID.
"WHAT. IF. YOU. CANT. BEND." ZEN SAID,
"AH-HA! SO THERE IS SOMEONE OVER THER!" BASEBALLER SAID.
"FUCK--SHIT GUYS GO ON WITHOUT ME I'LL NEVER OUTRUN HIM" ZEN SAID.
"ITS OKAY ZEN, HE NEVER GOES OUTSIDE, HE SHOULD BE THAT HARD" SUNNY SAID.
"RIGHT, BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE ATTACK.." I SAID. "FUNANDGAMESATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"MODERATED! BLOCKED!" BASEBALLER SAID. "GO, DANI!"
WOOSH OUT WENT DANI.
"BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH" DANI SAID.
"I....CAN'T...TAKE...THE....NAGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!" I SAID AS I FELL TO THE GROUND WEAKENED.
"OYA WELL WATCH THIS" ZEN SAID.
AND THEN HE SAT ON DANI AND DANI DIED. THAT WASNT A FAT JOKE THAT WAS JUST HOW BAD ZENS ASS SMELLS.
"THEY ARE STRONGER THAN THEY APPEAR..." BASEBALLER SAID.
"WE CAN HEAR YOU" I SAID.
"NO" HE SAID.
"YA"
"NO"
"YA"
"THEN WHATD I SAY"
"BITCH IDK"
"EXACTLY! GO, NINJA!" BASEBALLER SAID.
AND BASEBALLER CAME OUT AND SAID "KDFNSKOPGNSDFOPGNOPDFSNGIOPJDFNBGIOJDFGOIDFNGIOJGNOJDFGNFOPDFKGOPDFNGPOGFDSO"
"SERIOUS THREADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I SAID.
WE ALL FELL TO THE GROUND, WOUNDED.
"NOW FINISH THEM NINJA" BASEBALLER SAID.
"NOT SO FAST" SUNNY SAID. "WOLFIE, REBIRTH! GET IN HERE!"
WOLFIE USED "TROLL".
ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE.
REBIRTH USED "BULLY".
ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE.
NINJA USES DANI
BUT IT FAILED...
WOLFIE USES "TROLL".
NINJA FAINTED.
"AH-HA! WOLFIE, REBIRTH COME BACK!" SUNNY SAID.
"BITCH DONT TELL US WHAT TO DO. CMON REBIRTH LETS GO USE UP THE REST OFF THAT KY JELLY." WOLFIE SAID.
AND OFF THEY WENT.
"N-NO..." BASEBALLER SAID. "BUT I HAVE ONE MORE MINION."
"BRING EM OUT WE R THE REAL PWNZORS" ZEN SAID.
"ALRIGHT..." BASEBALLER SAID. "CMON OUT DEVINE E!"
"HOLY SHIT" I SAID.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" WE ALL YELLED AS DEVINE E DROPPED FROM THE SKY.
ONE SIGHT OF DEVINE E AND ZEN AND SUNNY FAINTED.
"GIVE UP SHIDO, YOU CANT BEAT ME" BASEBALLER SAID.
WITH A HEAVY BREATH, I SAID "....GO....DATONEGUY...."
"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE USEING--" DEVINE E SAID.
"THAT'S RIGHT. A REALLY OBVIOUS TROLL." I SAID.
"N-NO!!! THEY THINK THEYRE FOOLING EVERYONE BUT RLY THEYRE NOT AND THEN THERES THE DUMBASS PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW ITS A TROLL AND----COMPUTER ERROR. DEVINE E SHUTTING DOWN." DEVINE E SAID.
DEVINE E FELL TO THE GROUND.
"THANKS DATONEGUY!" I SAID.
"NO PROB. IMMA LOG ONTO NINTENDOMAN101 NOW--I MEEEAN UH" DATONEGUY SAID
"ITS OKAY. WE ALL KNO." I SAID.
"SO SHIDO U THINK UR TOUGH SHIT NOW" BASEBALLER SAID. "WELL NOW YOU GOTTA FACE ME."
"NO PROB. GO DANI!" I SAID.
"I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD????" BASEBALLER SAID.
"THATS THE THING ABOUT DANI...SHE KEEPS COMING BACK! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I SAID.
"BASEBALLER YOU EDITED MY FUCKING POSTS. NOW DIE." DANI SAID.
AND BASEBALLER WAS MELTED BY DANI.
"GOOD JOB DANI, YOU GET A JOLLY RANCHER TONIGHT." I SAID.
"YAY" DANI SAID.
"HEY GUISE WAKE UP" I SAID.
I WOKE ZEN UP.
"DAMMIT I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A WET DREAM." ZEN SAID. "YOU REALIZE I MAY NEVER DREAM ABOUT GEORGE CLOONEY AGAIN?? DO YOU REALIZE?????"
"HEY SUNNY WAKE UP" I SAID.
"UGH, GO ON WITHOUT ME, I THINK IVE DONE ENOUGH FLAUNTING FOR ONE CHAPTER. SIDE, I GOTTA TAKE CARE OF SOME SWC STUFF." SUNNY SAID.
"RIGHT. K, WERE OFF TO KILL MEBALL NO THANKS TO YOU" ZEN SAID.
"WAIT..." SUNNY SAID. "TAKE THIS"
SUNNY GAVE ME AN ENVELOPE.
"WHATS THIS?" I ASKED.
"OPEN IT....WHEN YOU FIGHT MEBALL...ITS THE KEY...." SUNNY SAID.
"K" I SAID.
AND ME AND ZEN MARCHED OFF TO THE MT HQ.
--
WHEN ME AND ZEN ARRIVED THERE WE NO GUARDS OUTSIDE.
"HUH" I SAID.
"LETS GO IN" ZEN SAID.
"ITS A TRAP" I SAID.
"NAW" ZEN SAID. "MTS NOT SMART"
"BUT THEY GOT A CLONE OF ME SO THEY R NOW B)" I SAID.
"OH FUCK YOU, IM GOING IN" ZEN SAID.
HE WENT IN.
I WAITED.
AND WAITED.
WAITED.
WAITED.
FINALLY..
I WENT IN.
ZEN WASNT THERE. THERE WAS NO ONE INSIDE.
"HM.." I SAID.
I WALKED DOWN THE HALL. STAIRS. I WENT UP THEM ALL THE GRUDGE STYLE. NO ASIAN JOKE INTENDED. THERE WAS A HALL WITH 3 ROOMS UP STAIRS. I LOOKED IN THE FIRST ROOM. NOTHING. SECOND ROOM. ONE NIGHT IN PARIS TAPE AND A PACK A DOUBLE BUBBLE. THIRD ROOM. I SAW ZEN.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I ASKED.
"WELL, IT TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO CLIMB THOSE DAMN STAIRS. IM TIRED." ZEN SAID.
"THERE WERE ONLY LIKE 9 STAIRS...." I SAID.
"FUCK YOU" ZEN SAID.
I NOTICED A BUTTON ON THE WALL.
"WHATS THIS?" I ASKED.
"WHY DONT YOU FUCK IT" ZEN SAID.
"WHATEVER......WELL....NO! IM JUST GUNNA PRESS IT!" I SAID.
SO I DID. AND THE ALARM WENT OFF.
"WAIT. TO. GO. DIPSHIT." ZEN SAID.
"OFUCK OFUCK WERE DEAD WERE DEAD" I SAID.
"USE THAT ASIAN BRAIN AND THINK! THIIIIIIIIIIINK!" ZEN SAID.
"I GOT IT." I SAID.
"WHAT?" ZEN ASKED.
"LET'S. LEAVE." I SAID.
WE GOT OUT OF THAT ROOM BUT THEN I SAW MEBALL.
"FFFFUCK!" I SAID.
"WUT R U GUISE DOING HERE" MEBALL SAID.
"GIMME THE ENVELOPE. IMMA BE EPIC, SHIDO." ZEN SAID.
SO I GAVE IT TO HIM CAUSE HES HAD A PATHETIC LIFE.
ZEN TOOK THE ENVELOPE AND HELD IT UP.
"EAT ENVELOPE, BITCH!" ZEN SAID AS HE THREW THE ENVELOPE.
WHEN HE THREW IT IT MADE IT HALFWAY TO MEBALL.
"YOU HAVE TO FUCKING OPEN IT DUMBASS" I SAID.
"OH FUCK ME" ZEN SAID.
"I WILL" MEBALL SAID. "I LIKE MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN. BUT FIRST, I HAVE TO KILL SHIDO."
"OH HELL NO" SHIDO SAID.
BAMABAMABAMABAMABAMABAMABAMABAMABAM
MEBALL APPARENTLY HAD A SUB MACHINE GUN INSTALLED INTO HIS ARM. LUCKILY SINCE IM ASIAN IM SO DAMN SHORT THAT IT WENT OVER MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH IM NOT SHORT WELL I WOULDNT KNOW I MEAN I LOOK TALL IN MY VLOG BUT THATS A CLOSE UP SO UHHH IDK JUST GO WITH IT.
"FUCK. RECHARGE" MEBALL SAID.
"NOT4U" I SAID.
I SLID AND GRABBED THE ENVELOPE FROM MEBALLS HAND.
"I DONT FUCKING THINK SO" MEBALL SAID.
BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMABMABMABMABAMBAMBAM
"FUCK. YOU SHOT ME 78 TIMES IN. THE. COCK." I SAID.
I WAS WOUNDED, BUT HE WAS RECHARGEING. I OPENED THE ENVELOPE HAS I FELL TO THE GROUND.
"CANT USE IT ANYMORE, YOU'RE DOWN." MEBALL SAID. "NOW EAT LEAD."
WHEN I SAW WHAT WAS IN THE ENVELOPE I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF. SUNNYCIDE WAS A GENIOUS ( )
"WAIT" I SAID. "I WANT ONE LAST WORD."
"WELL, I GUESS SO" MEBALL SAID.
"METANIC" I SAID AS I FLASHED MEBALL THE PICTURE OF THAT LITTLE GAY GREEN HEDGEHOG.
"WHA-WHAT IS THIS??" MEBALL ASKED BACKING UP.
"YOU COULD NEVER REPLACE METANIC, MEBALL. AND YOU KNOW IT." I SAID.
"NO-NO! SHUT UP!" MEBALL SAID.
"METANIC WAS A BETTER SIDEKICK THAN YOU EVER COULD BE." I SAID.
"NOOOOO..YOU LIE" MEBALL SAID.
"I DONT LIE." I SAID.
"GRRR--CANT---TAKE IT----GGAAHGAHGAHGHAGHAGODFSSAHGFFSDH" AND THEN MEBALL EXPLODED.
HIS GUTS FILLED THE HALLWAY.
"FUCKING. GREAT." ZEN SAID.
"GOOD, NOW LETS GET OUT OF HERE AND GET BACK TO NR" I SAID.
ZEN WALKED AND I CRAWLED, SO IT WAS GOOD CUZ NOW ZEN COULD KEEP UP WITH ME. FINALLY AFTER 3 DAYS, AN NR SOLDIER FOUND US AND BROUGHT US BACK TO BASE.
"ZENKU, SHIDO!" AJ SAID. "YOU DID A GOOD JOB BOYS. MEBALL 1 HAS BEEN KILLED."
"MEBALL....ONNNNNNNNNE???" WE ALL SAID.
"YES, THERE ARE 3 MEBALLS. THE 1ST IS THE WEAKEST. THE 2ND IS OKAY. AND THE 3RD ONE KICKS ASS." AJ SAID.
"WOW GOOD THING WE WILL MOST LIKELY NEVER RUN INTO THEM. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING" ZEN SAID.
"GUYS!" JAMES SAID.
"JAMES! YOU GOT LESS GAY OVER THE PAST 3 DAYS HAVENT YOU?" I SAID.
"SHIDO. ZENKU. WELCOME BACK." HYPER SAID.
"WUTS WRONG WITH HIM" I ASKED.
"HES SAD..CHEF....GOT BLOWN UP." JAMES SAID.
"BY WHO???????" ZEN ASKED.
"WE....DONT KNOW. THE ONLY EVIDENCE LEFT WAS THIS PICTURE OF YINYANG LEFT AT THE SCENE (that joke was for anyone who is in MT)" JAMES SAID.
"DAMN...SUNNY..."I SAID.
"WHAT?" JAMES SAID.
"ER...NOTHING." I SAID.
"RIGHT WELL, CMON GUYS LETS GET GOING, WERE GOING ON A MISSION." JAMES SAID.
"TO DO WHAT?" I ASKED.
"WELL" JAMES SAID. "MT IS PLANNING TO ATTACK THE MCDONALDS DOWN THE STREET."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" ZENKU SCREAMED.
"YES, AND ITS THE ONLY ONE WE HAVE LEFT IN NR SO LETS GO." JAMES SAID.
"WE GOT A BURGER KING DOWN THERE TOO..." HYPER SAID.
EVERYONE TOOK IN A MOMENT OF SILENCE.
"HYPER, ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED." JAMES SAID.
WE WENT DOWN THE STREET TO THE MCDONALDS. I HAD NEVER SEEN NR SO GHETTO BEFORE. IT WAS ALMOST SAD. JK THERE WILL NEVER BE A SAD MOMENT IN THIS STORY.
I SAW CHILDREN BEGGING FOR SEX. I SAW WOLFIE BEGGING FOR SEX. I SAW ASHLEY TISDALE BEGGING FOR SEX.
WE GOT TO THE MCDONALDS.
"ANYONE WHO TRIES TO BURN THIS PLACE DOWN IS GONNA DIE" ZEN SAID.
THEN WE HEARD BANGING OUTSIDE.
"SOMEONE BOARDED THE DOORS! WE CANT GET OUT!" HYPER SAID.
"FUCK" ZEN SAID.
"THEY'RE LIGHTING THE MCDONALDS ON FIRE!" HYPER SAID.
"GUYS I KNOW A SECRET EXIT WE CAN-" I SAID.
"SHIDO. STAY HERE." JAMES SAID. "NO ONES GOING ANYWHERE."
"WHY THE FUCK NOT." I SAID.
"WE PRETEND WE DIED AND THEN WHEN WERE REALLY ALIVE WE WILL SURPRISE THEM." JAMES SAID.
"...HOW THE FUCK WE GONNA PRETEND WERE STILL IN THE BUILDING" I SAID.
"I PREPARED FOR THIS. ZEN, GET ON TOP OF EVERYONE. UR A HUMAN SHIELD." JAMES SAID.
"WTF! NO!" ZEN SAID.
"OKAY THEN WE JUST STAY IN THE ICE CREAM MACHINES. WE WONT DIE" JAMES SAID.
"JAMES, YOUR THEORY OF SURVIVING A FIRE AMAZES ME." I SAID. "LETS JUST LEAVE!"
"NO, I WANNA SURPRISE THEM!" JAMES SAID. "GET IN THE DAMN ICE CREAM MACHINES BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS"
SO I DID IT WUTEVER, HES THE LEADER.
WHEN THE PLACE WAS ALL BURNED DOWN WE CAME OUT.
"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ZEN SAID. "MAC, MAC ARE YOU OKAY??"
"ZEN...ITS....ITS OVER..." HYPER SAID.
"WHY? WHY NOT THE BURGER KING??" ZEN SAID.
"WERE STILL OPEN!" THE KING SAID.
"K I'LL HAVE 4 WHOPPERS...YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING?" ZEN SAID.
I LOOKED AHEAD AND SAW THE HORROR. NR WAS DESTROYED. COMPLETELY. AND ALSO WOLFIE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF.
WE WENT BACK TO THE HQ. IT WAS GONE.
"HOLY SHIT..." I SAID.
"GUYS..." AJ SAID.
"AJ??" JAMES SAID.
"Y-YEAH...BARELY SURVIVED...." AJ SAID. "GUYS....NRS...NRS FINISHED. WE CANT KEEP UP WITH MT..."
"AJ, NO!" I SAID.
"I-" AJ STARTED.
THEN BIGGIE CAME UP BEHIND AND PLANTED AN AXE IN AJS BACK.
"FUCK" JAMEZ SAID AND HE SHOT BIGGIE AND BIGGIE DIED.
"AJS....DEAD..." HYPER SAID.
"ITS YOUR FAULT NR'S DEAD, JAMEZ!" I SAID. "IF WE WENT OUT THROUGH THE EXIT, WE COULD HAVE STOPPED THEM AND SAVED NR BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"SHIT MAN I DIDNT KNOW" JAMES SAID.
"FUCK, NRS GONE. IS THIS SRSLY HOW THE STORY ENDS?? WE...LOSE??" ZEN SAID.
"NO" JAMEZ SAID. "CAUSE WERE GONNA FIGHT MT OURSELVES."
"YOU, ME, SHIDO, AND ZEN?" HYPER ASKED.
"AND SWC, DONT FORGET" JAMEZ SAID.
"WERE GONNA JOIN SWC?" I ASKED.
"LOLFUCKNO" JAMEZ SAID. "WERE GOING TO SWC. GETTING WEAPONS.AND THEN WERE GOING TO MT TO TAKE NINTENDOGIRLS VIBRATOR AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASSES."
"FUCK YEAH" I SAID.
I WAS JUST AN ETHUSEASSICK KID BACK THEN. I DIDNT KNOW THE SHIT WE WERE GONNA DIG UP ON NRS TRUE HISTORY. I DIDNT KNOW HOW FUCKING MISERABLE IT WOULD BE. I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW THAT SOMEONE WAS BEHIND THE ENTIRE WAR.

IT WAS A LONG DUSTY WALK TO THE OUTSKIRTS OF SWC. WHEN WE GOT THERE, IT WAS HOT, AND EMPTY. MUCH LIKE ZARIF'S VAGINA. THERE WAS NOTHING BUT CACTUS AND AN OLD BUILDING. THEN TWO MEN CAME OUT OF THE BUILDING. AN BEANER AND A VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY HOT AZN.
"L1OL1OL1O1LO1L1OL1OL1O1LO1L1OL1OL1O1LO1LO1L1OL1O1L" THE HOT ONE SAID.
"LOOKS LIKE WE GOT US SOME TRESPASSERS" THE MEXICAN SAID.
"WUT IS THIS PLACE JAMEZ :0??" ZEN ASKED.
"THIS IS SWC" JAMEZ SAID.
"L1OL1OL1OL1O1LO1L1OL1OL1O1L1OL U GUYS HAVE TO LEAVE SWC TERRITORY" AZN SAID.
"AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE" JAMEZ SAID.
"IM RK, SECOND IN COMMAND HERE. AND THIS IS MY SIDEKICK, ZIRO. LO1L" RK SAID.
"YA AND SUNNY SAID DONT LET ANYONE IN LO1L1O1OL1" ZIRO SAID.
"BUT SUNNY KNOWS US JUST LET US TALK TO HIM" I SAID.
"K U KNOW WHAT. YOU CAUGHT ME IN A GOOD MOOD. IF YOU BEAT ME AT A GAME, I'LL LET YOU PASS LO1L1" RK SAID.
"WUT GAME? :0" I ASKED.
"A LITTLE GAME I LIKE TO CALL: HALO THREE" RK SAID.
"WUTS THAT??" JAMEZ ASKED.
"ITS SIMPLE." RK SAID. "TAKE AN XBOX CONTROLLER AND WE FIGHT. I DOUBT U'LL BEAT ME CAUSE IM THE NUMBER 1 IN THE W-"
"BEAT YOU" I SAID.
"WUUUUUUUUUUUT?" RK SAID. "NO AGAIN. NOW CHOOSE UR COLOR. AND DONT YOU DARE FUCKING TAKE LIGHT BLUE. DAMN NOOBS ALWAYS BE TAKING MY COLOR."
"FINE I'LL BE BROWN" I SAID.
"LO1L1OL NIGGAS BE THINKING THEY OWN THE PLACE" RK SAID.
"IM FUCKING YELLOW" I SAID.
"NO YOU PICKED BROWN JUST NOW. I SAW" RK SAID.
"NO....I MEANT MY SKINS YELLOW" I SAID.
"NAW ITS WHITE" RK SAID.
"WELL YES BUT...YELLOW IS A RACIST TERM FOR ASIANS" I SAID.
"SO UR HATING ON MY PPL" RK SAID.
"NO YOU CALLED ME BLACK" I SAID.
"YOUR FUCKING BROWN" RK SAID.
"I. AM. A. FUCKING. GOOK." I SAID.
"SO NOW UR TAUNTING ME? LOL1OL1OL1OL1OL1O1L" RK SAID.
"NO IM NOT ARHUEIH23908Y4903218!!!1" I SAID.
"WHOA CALM DOWN MAN. ITS CALLED TROLLING. ITS WUT WE DO ALOT AROUND HERE." RK SAID. "OBTW I BEAT YOU HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"FUCK" I SAID.
"SHIDO. STEP ASIDE." JAMES SAID.
"JAMES WHAT ARE YOU?"
"STEP. ASIDE."
I STEPPED ASIDE. JAMES PICKED UP THE CONTROLLER.
"FOR 15 YEARS, I PLAYED HALO 3 UNDERGROUND TO WORK UP MY SKILL FOR AN EXACT MOMENT LIKE THIS. WAITING FOR AN OBSTACLE THAT ONLY MY HALO 3 SKILLS COULD BEAT. I BECAME THE BEST UNDERGROUND, A HERO TO THEM ALL. AND NOW IM GOING TO BEAT YOU RK. ARE YOU READY?" JAMES SAID.
"I BEAT YOU 3 MINUTES AGO" RK SAID.
"DAMN HES GOOD" JAMES SAID.
"ANYONE ELSE WANNA TRY? HYPER?" I ASKED.
"GUYS! I CAN'T PLAY RATED M GAMES!" HYPER SAID,
"ZEN? OWAIT UR ZEN U SUCK ASS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL" I SAID.
"THAT WAS ONE FUCKING TIME AND I WAS DRUNK." ZEN SAID.
"LO1LO1L1OL LOOK AT HIM HES FUCKING FAT. I BET HIS MILE TIME IS 60 MINUTES. LOL MINE IS LIKE 7...(I GUESS)" RK SAID.
"GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER." ZEN SAID.
"ZEN YOU CANT BEAT HIM, HES TOO FUCKING GOOD!" JAMES SAID.
"GIVE IT TO ME" ZEN SAID.
JAMES GAVE THE CONTROLLER TO ZEN.
"LO11LO1L1OL YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? LETS SEE WHAT A FATASS CAN DO" RK SAID.
BUT THEN ZEN WALKED OVER TO RK AND BASHED HIS HEAD WITH THE CONTROLLER 47 TIMES. AND RK WENT OUT COLD.
"HOLD ON" ZIRO SAID. "YOU STILL HAVE TO BEAT ME IN THE CONDUIT. NOW THE RULES ARE SIMPLE-"
"WHERE THE FUCK IS SUNNYCIDE" ZEN SAID.
"UP UR ASS.LUL" ZIRO SAID.
AND THEN ZEN THREW ZIRO TO MEXICO.
"WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU?" ZEN SAID.
"RIGHT HERE" SUNNY SAID.
"HI" ZEN SAID.
"IMPRESSIVE WURK GUYS NOW WTF DO YOU WANT" SUNNY SAID.
"WELL SUNNY, NR BLEW UP--" JAMES SAID.
"I KNOW" SUNNY SAID.
"AND WE NEED WEAPONS SO WE CAN TAKE MT ON OURSELVES." JAMES SAID.
"WAIT....WHAT?" SUNNY SAID.
"YES WE R GOING TO FIGHT MT OURSELVES." JAMES SAID.
"UHHH K LOOLL...DIDNT EXPECT THIS...SO I-U KNO WHAT? SURE. COME GET ANY WEAPON YOU WANT." SUNNY SAID.
"OTHANK YOU SUNNY" JAMES SAID.
"RIGHT..RIGHT" SUNNY SAID.
--
INSIDE SUNNY CASTLE WERE AWZM WE GOT TO PICK ANY WEAPON WE WANTED. AND RK WOKE UP AND HE WUZ MAD. I HERD HIM OVERTALKING TO SUNNY :0
"SUNNY Y R WE HELPING THESE PPL? MAKES NO SENSE!!" RK SAID.
"BCAUSE, WHY NOT" SUNNY SAID.
"LO1L1OL I THINK YOU KNOW WHY" RK SAID.
"LOOK RK" SUNNY SAID. "THEY'RE THE ONLY MEMBERS OF NR LEFT."
"SO WUT? THIS IS WHAT-" RK SAID.
"HEY. SHUT UP. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS L8R" SUNNY SAID. "THE WALLS HAVE EARS K?"
"..RIGHT..FUCKING SHITTY ASS LEADER IF I WERE LEADER THERE'D BE BIG CHANGES. BIG." RK SAID.
I WAS KIND OF SCARED WHEN I HERD THEM TALKING. LIKE, WTF THEY HAVE SOCIAL LIVES AND I DONT? AM I RLY THAT UNCOOL??? BUT ALSO I WAS SCARED THINKING, WUTS HAPPENING? DID SWC RLY HATE US? WAS SUNNY MAKING A FORRBIDDAN ALLYSHIP WITH US?
EVERY PICKED THE LAMEST WEAPONS.
HYPER GOT A SNIPER.
JAMES GOT A SUBMACHINE GUN.
ZEN GOT GRENADES.
BUT I GOT A BOW AND ARROW WITH LIGHTER FLUID SO IMMA DEFINATELY MAKE WAY COOLER KILLS.
WHEN WE LEFT WE SAID GOODBYE AND SHIT.
"HOLY SHIT DID ANYONE NOTICE THAT CASTLE WAS ODDLY HOT?" ZEN ASKED.
"ZEN, STFU LMAO UR JUST SO FAT U GOT ALL THIS BODY HEAT" HYPER SAID.
"IT WAS PRETTY HOT IN THERE." JAMES SAID.
"LOL U TWO ARE DELUSHUNALL" HYPER SAID.
"SHUT UP HYPER U GAY ASS FURRY" I SAID.
WE WALKED FOR A LONG TIME. A LOOOONG TIME. UNTIL WE HAD TO STOP AND TAKE A BREAK FROM WALKING.
AND GIVE ZEN A CHANCE TO CATCH UP.
"HOW FAR UNTIL MT?" I ASKED.
"4 MILES" JAMES SAID.
"SHIT" I SAID.
"YEAH IF ONLY WE GOT A CAR AT SWC" JAMES SAID. "SUNNY OFFERED ME ONE BUT I WAS LIKE NAH WE NEED THE EXORSIZE"
"JAMES" I SAID.
"WHAT" HE SAID.
"GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE" I SAID.
FINALLY AFTER FORTY FIVE MINUTES ZEN CAUGHT UP.I FELT SORRY FOR HIM CONSIDERING WE WERE 10 FEET AWAY FROM HIM THE WHOLE TIME.
"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, LET'S GO!" JAMES SAID.
"ER WAIT JAMES WUTS THAT IN THE DISTANCE?" ZEN ASKED.
"IDK HYPER CHECK IT OUT WITH UR SNIPER LUL" JAMES SAID.
HYPER CHECKED IT OUT.
"UHHHHHH...LOOKS LIKE..." HYPER SAID. "MEBALL!!"
"FUCK" JAMES SAID.
"WHAT HE DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?" I SAID.
"DUNNO BUT WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING. HYPER SHOOT HIM" JAMES SAID.
"OKAY...CLEAR SHOT..." HYPER SAID. "FUCK HE MOVED"
"GET A FUCKING AIM" JAMES SAID.
"IM TRYING" HYPER SAID. "HES MOVING. K HES HIDEING BEHIND A ROCK. I CAN SEE HIS BACK"
"GET HIM!!!" JAMES SAID.
"CAN YOU GET THEM WHEN THEY'RE CROUCHING??" HYPER SAID.
"YES HYPER IVE DONE IT B4 YOU CAN DO IT" JAMES SAID.
"IDK...I DONT WANNA WASTE AMMO IF YOU CANT.." HYPER SAID.
"HYPER HAVNT YOU WATCHED MONTAGES B4 THEY FUCKING DO IT ALL THE TIME! DO IT!!" JAMES SAID.
"I DONT THINK YOU CAN DO IT" HYPER SAID.
"FUCKING SHOOT!!" JAMES SAID.
BAM.
"IT DIDNT WORK JAMES YOU NOOB LOLO" HYPER SAID.
"THATS IT, NEXT TIME I GET THE SNIPER" JAMES SAID.
"I CALL HAMMER OF DAWN" ZEN SAID.
"NO! I GET THAT TOO. DAMN FUCKERS B STEALIN MY WEAPONS" JAMES SAID.
"DONT WORRY I'LL OWN HIM WITH MY TORCH BOW" I SAID. "K...MEBALL WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO.."
THEN MEBALL JUMPED UP INTO THE AIR AND DISSAPEARED.
"WOW WUT A PUSSY LOL" ZEN SAID.
THEN MEBALL CAME FLYING DOWN AND LANDED RIGHT ON ZENKU IN AN EXPLOSIVE BLAST.
"FFFFFFFUCK" ZEN SAID.
"LOL WUT WE GOT HERE. 4 NOOBS WHO CANT EVEN SNIPE THE BACK" MEBALL SAID. "MAYBE U SHOULD LET THE LVL 20S AND UP GET THE SNIPERS K?"
"OFUCK YOU MEBALL" HYPER SAID.
"WAIT, WHICH MEBALL IS IT?" I ASKED.
"2.0" MEBALL SAID.
"LOL THIS SHOULD BE EASY" JAMES SAID.
"HARDLY LMAO CUZ U GUISE HAD 2 MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE WITH 1" MEBALL SAID.
"FUCK" JAMES SAID.
"NO CAUSE WE GOT YOUR WEAKNESS NOW" I SAID.
I HELD UP THE PICTURE OF METANIC.
"U COULD NEVER REPLACE HIM MEBALL!" I SAID.
"I KNOW. THATS WHY I KILLED HIM" MEBALL SAID KNOCKING THE PIC OUT OF ME HANDS.
"FUCK" I SAID.
"RUN!!" JAMES SAID.
WE ALL RAN FOR OUR LIVES BUT MEBALL WAS TOO FAST AND CAUGHT ZEN.
"GAHH FUCK GUYS HELP ME" ZEN SAID.
"GO!! WHILE MEBALLS KICKING ZENS ASS WE CAN MAKE IT BACK TO SWC" JAMES SAID.
"IM GOING TO BE THE BF AND UR GOING TO BE THE GF" MEBALL SAID.
"OH FUCK YOU GUYS FUCKING PUSSIES" ZEN SAID.
"HOLD ON" A MYSTERIOUS VOICE SAID.
RK ZOOMED RIGHT PASSED ME AND KICKED MEBALL IN THE FACE.
"WTF IS GOING ON" MEBALL SAID.
RIGHT WELL RK PRETTY MUCH KICKED MEBALLS ASS. UPPER CUT, PUNCH, KICK, HEADBUTT, KICK, KICK, PUNCH, KICK.
MEBALL FELL TO THE GROUND BATTERED.
"K NOW GTFO OF HERE" RK SAID.
"FUFUFUFU IDK WUTS GOING ON HERE BUT IM GOING TO GO TELL MASTER" MEBALL SAID.
"RK FINISH HEEEEEEEEEEEEM" I SAID.
"NAH HES NOT WORTH IT" RK SAID.
"WOW MY HERO" I SAID.
"LOL U RETARDED AZN. L8R" MEBALL SAID FLEEING BACK INTO MT.
"WOW THANKS RK. ZEN R U OK?" JAMES SAID.
"FUCK. OFF." ZEN SAID.
"YA RK..UH..WHY R U HERE?" HYPER SAID.
"RIGHT WELL.." RK SAID. "SUNNY SENT ME HERE TO MAKE SURE U GUYS MADE IT TO MT SAFELY"
"WOW RK U LOOK TIRED DO U NEED A DICK MASSAGE" I SAID.
"NO THX I DONT PLAY THAT WAY" RK SAID.
"RIGHT WELL IM UP FOR ANYTHING. ANY. THING." I SAID.
"K WELL WE SHOULD GET GOING.." RK SAID. "WHO'S GOT A WEAPON FOR ME?"
"HYPER, GIVE HIM THE SNIPER" JAMES SAID.
"BUT-"
"NOW, MISTER MAN." JAMES SAID.
"FINE. FUCKING FURRY." HYPER SAID.
"4 MILES TO MT! LETS GO!" RK SAID.
--
WHEN WE FINALLY GOT TO THE BORDER OF MT EVERYONE WAS TIRED. EXCEPT RK <3
"K WERE IN ENEMY TERRITORY. NOW BE CAREFUL AND WATCH OUT FOR MEBALLS." RK SAID.
"WUT IF WE RUN INTO...DABARTMAN" I SAID.
"LO1L1OL1OL1OL1OL1OL1OL. THEN SPAM. SPAM LIKE NO TOMORROW. HIS FACE WILL MELT." RK SAID.
" :3 " I SAID.
"WOW MT IS RLY POPULATED" JAMES SAID.
HE WAS RIGHT. THERE WERE ALOT OF PEOPLE.
"YEAH WELL...YOU KNOW" RK SAID.
"I SAY WE ATTACK NOW. FUCK EM ALL UP" ZEN SAID.
"NO..NO LITTLE ONE." RK SAID. "WE GOTTA BLEND IN, SEE?"
"ER. K" ZEN SAID.
"K TO THE PIZZA SHOP WE GO" RK SAID.
"Y THE PIZZA SHOP?" I ASKED.
"I KNOW A GUY THERE" RK SAID.
WE WENT INTO THE PIZZA SHOP. NOBODY WAS IN THERE :0
"HEY...IRISH.." RK SAID.
"OHEY RK HOW YA DOIN" IRISH SAID. "WHAT BRINGS U ALL THE WAY OVER HERE ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE-"
"LOOK, I GOT 4 NR SURVIVORS HERE." RK SAID.
"SURVIVORS?? SRSLY?" IRISH SAID.
"YASRSLY. I NEED YOU TO UH...HIDE THEM." RK SAID.
"OH...RIGHT. I CAN DO THAT" IRISH SAID.
"K GUYS STAY WITH IRISH. ME AND HYPER ARE GONNA GO GET SOME INFO ON MEBALL 2 AND 3S WEAKNESSES." RK SAID.
HYPER AND RK LEFT.
"K U GUYS GET IN THE BACK ROOM. DONT WORRY IM A GOOD FRIEND OF SUNNYS IMMA LETCHA LIVE" IRISH SAID.
THE BACK ROOM WAS HOT :/. PROBABLY FROM THE PIZZAS.
"ZEN STOP EATING THE DAMN PIZZAS THOSE ARE FOR CUSTOMERS." JAMES SAID.
"I HAVE A DISEASE...AND THE PRESCRIPTION IS MOAR PIZZA!!!" ZEN SAID.
"RIGHT WELL THIS IS STUPID. Y DID HYPUR GET TO GO AND NOT ME?" I SAID.
"DONT MATTER. WUT MATTERS IS WE HAVE A POWERFUL AZN HELPING US BEAT MT" JAMES SAID.
"AND WE GOT PIZZA" ZEN SAID.
"ZEN SLOW DOWN ZEN! ZEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" JAMES SAID.
"UMM GUYS" IRISH SAID.
"OHAI IRISH. WUTS UP?" JAMES SAID.
"EAT POISONOUS GAS BITCHES LOLOLOLOL" IRISH SAID THROWING A POISONOUS GAS.....TUBE.....IDK INTO THE ROOM AND SHUTTING THE DOOR AND LOCKING IT.
"FFFFFFFFUCK" JAMES SAID. "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN NOT TO TRUST A MT FAG"
"RK WILL GET BAK AND SAVE US I KNOW HE WILL!!!!" I SAID.
"OMNOMNOMNOMNONMONMONMONM" ZEN SAID.
"ZEN THIS IS SRS! STOP EATING! WE ARE DIEING!" JAMES SAID.
"I KNOW WERE DIEING I WANT TO DIE EATING LIKE IVE ALWAYS DREAMED." ZEN SAID.
"ZEN UR SUCH A RETARD I ALWAYS HATED YOU" I SAID.
"FUCK YOU GUYS" ZEN SAID.
"NO FUCK YOU ZEN I HOPE YOU DIE B4 US" JAMES SAID.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH" ZEN SAID AND THEN HE TACKLED JAMES.
JAMES PUSHED ZEN OFF OF HIM AND ZEN BUMPED ONTO THE DOOR AND KNOCKED IT DOWN.
"WERE FREE!" I SAID.
"SHHHHHHHIT" IRISH SAID. "I PREPARED FOR THIS. GOGO EMO RANGERS"
"WUT?" I ASKED.
"FUCK THEYRE NOT COMING. WELL ITS JUST ME" IRISH SAID. "K LETS FIGHT"
"U POISONED ALL THE PIZZAS..." ZEN SAID. "YOU WILL DIE."
"LOL YA THE MIGHT BE MORE FRIGHTNING IF IT WERENT FROM MR. ALA OVER HERE. FURRY, AZN WUT U GOT?" IRISH SAID.
"FUCK YOU. FUCK MY TEAM. FUCK THIS STORY." ZEN SAID.
AND THEN ZEN ATE IRISH IN ONE BITE.
"YA LETS GO FUCKING KILL RK FOR LEAVING US WITH THIS MANIAC" ZEN SAID.
"ITS NOT RKS FAULT HE DIDNT KNOW" I SAID.
"SO WUT? ARE YOU FUCKING HIM NOW?? THE ONLY PPL WE CAN TRUST R EACHOTHER. WE CANT TRUST THIS STUPID BITCHASS AZN" ZEN SAID.
"ZEN STOP. SUNNY SENT HIM AND HE HELPED US FIGHT MEBALL. WE CAN TRUST HIM" JAMES SAID.
"FUCKING STUPID ASS LEADER. YOU. SUCK! R WHOLE ARMY IS DEAD BECAUSE OF UR FUCKING "SURPRISE ATTACK" U FUCKING SPIC. SHIT MAN THIS TEAM SUCK ASS. SHIDO DESERVES TO BE LEADER. HE TOLD US THE SECRET EXIT AND EVERYTHING. PLUS HE FUCKING OWNED WHEN IT WAS JUST ME AND HIM. JAMES YOU HAVENT DONE SHIT FOR NR. ONLY REASON U WERE LEADER WUZ CAUSE AJ SAID SO, BUT GUESS WHAT? AJS DEAD! AND WHOS FAULT IS THAT?" ZEN SAID.
"FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE ZEN IM A BETTER LEADER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE" JAMES SAID.
"MAYBE I SHOULD JOIN FUCKING SWC. ATLEAST SUNNY KNOWS WTF HES DOING" ZEN SAID.
"YA MAYBE U SHOULD" JAMES SAID.
"NO PPL, LETS BE SMART AND BRING IT OFF" I SAID.
"STAY OUT OF THIS SHIDO" JAMES SAID.
"GUYS?? WHAT HAPPENED??" RK SAID.
"RK THANK GOD UR BACK" JAMES SAID. "IRISH TRIED TO KILL US, BUT WE KILLED HIM" JAMES SAID.
"WE?" ZEN SAID.
"YOU DID? WOW...IRISH...DIDNT EXPECT THAT.." RK SAID.
"YA, US EITHER" JAMES SAID.
"YEAH SO WUT INFO DID YOU GET ON THE MEBALLS?" I ASKED.
"UH...NOTHING..." HYPER SAID.
"NOTHING?? YOU WERE GONE FOR AN HOUR" ZEN SAID.
"RIGHT WELL WE TRIED BUT WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT SO .. WE CAME BACK HERE WITHOUT SHIT" RK SAID.
"DAMN" JAMES SAID.
"YEAH UHHH..." RK SAID. "WE CAN GO TO DANS MAIN HEADQUARTERS AND FIGHT OURSELVES" RK SAID.
"PERFECT" JAMES SAID. "LETS FUCK THEM UP FROM THE INSIDE."
"YA UH. I'LL LEAD THE WAY GUYS. LET'S GO." RK SAID.
OFF WE WENT.

"K WTF RK" ZEN SAID. "Y THE FUCK DID FUCKING IRISH TRY TO KILL US"
"I DUNNO" RK SAID. "BUT LOOK GUYS ITS BEHIND US NOW LETS MOVE ON"
"RIGHT. YOU EXPECT ME TO MOVE ON." ZEN SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT ZEN LEAVE THE MAN ALONE." JAMES SAID. "HE'S MORE EXPIRIENCED THAN US DUH"
"YOU KNOW WHAT JAMES? FUCK YOU" ZEN SAID. "YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LIFE. I MEAN, YOU GOT A WHOLE COUNTRY FUCKED. A WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY. I MEAN FUCK EVEN BUSH ONLY GOT 4/5THS OF A COUNTRY."
"IF YOU DONT LIKE ME THEN YOU CAN LEAVE. OWAIT-YOU DONT HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOL" JAMES SAID.
"NO-NO FUCK THIS." ZEN SAID. "I'M LEAVING."
"BUT ZEN WERE JUST ABOUT TO GET TO DAN'S CASTLE" I SAID.
"NO FUCK THIS. JAMES WILL PORBABLY SCREW IT UP." ZEN SAID.
"LET HIM LEAVE SHIDO THAT WAY DAN CANT SEE US COMING FROM A MILE AWAY LUL" JAMES SAID.
"OH FUCK YOU JAMES" ZEN SAID.
ZEN WANDERED OFF.
"SHIT" RK SAID. "GET ZEN BACK HERE."
"WHY?" JAMES SAID.
"WE NEED HIM" RK SAID.
"FOR WHAT?" JAMES SAID.
"WE JUST-WE JUST NEED HIM, K??" RK SAID.
"YO ZEN GETCHO ASS BACK HERE" JAMES SAID.
"NO" ZEN SAID.
"HE'S ONLY 2 FEET AWAY" I SAID.
"WTF ITS BEEN 3 MINUTES" JAMES SAID.
"I KNOW" I SAID.
"ZEN" RK SAID. "YOU WILL STAY WITH US AND YOU WILL LIKE IT"
"AND WHAT IF I DONT" ZEN SAID.
"THEN I KILL YOU" RK SAID.
"LOL THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING ITS LIKE YOU ALMOST ARE TRYING TO KILL US!" ZEN SAID.
"LOOK ZEN, OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY CONSIDERING YOU ARE ALWAYS INSULTING JAMES AND RK." I SAID.
"SHUT UP SHIDO WITH YOUR ASIAN" ZEN SAID. "I HATE CRAPPY LEADERS, WHICH IS ALL WEVE HAD SO FAR. I WANT SHIDO TO LEAD, HE'S THE ONLY FUCKING ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO GET THINGS DONE."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'LL OWN THAT BITCH" JAMES SAID.
"OWUT" I SAID.
"YOU HEARD ME, HO" JAMES SAID.
"THATS IT FURRY. IM GONNA BRING THE BEAT DOWN ON YOUR ASS" I SAID.
"GUYS GUYS BREAK IT UP" RK SAID. "NOW I KNOW TENSIONS ARE HIGH BUT ALL OF YOU NEED TO GROW A PAIR AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES. ZEN LETS GO."
"YES SIR" ZEN SAID.
"HEY WERE ALMOST TO THE CASTLE" HYPER SAID.
"WOW HYPERS STILL IN THIS STORY?" JAMES SAID.
"YEAH" ZEN SAID.
"WAIT GUYS LOOK ITS A GUARD." JAMES SAID.
"WTF...WAIT..." RK SAID. "GUYS DEVIL X IS GUARDING THE MAIN ENTERANCE. NOW I HAVE A PLAN."
WE ALL WALKED OVER TO DEVIL X.
"SUP WERE 9" RK SAID.
"FINALLY..." DEVIL X SAID. "AFTER ALL MY YEARS OF COUNTLESS BEATINGS AND WEDGIES....FINALLY I MEET SOMONE ALOT YOUNGER THAN ME WHO I CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF AND FEEL COOL ABOUT MYSELF. MY SELF ESTEEM IS GOING TO SKY ROCKET."
"COOL STORY BRO" I SAID.
"LOL K FIRST OFF YOU FORGOT THE COMMA AFTER STORY AND SECOND BRO NEEDS A PERIOD AFTER IT SINCE ITS AN ABREEHIVIASHENN (FUCK MY SPELLING) AND 3RD IT NEEDS AND PERIOD AT THE END OF THE SENTANCE AND IT WAS IN ALL CAPS ONLY STORY AND BRO NEED TO BE CAPITALIZED SINCE TECHNICALLY BRO IS A NICKNAME. LOL AND I BET YOU'RE GOING TO SAY "I DONT CARE" IN THAT EXACT QUOTE. THAT EXACT FUCKING QUOTE" DEVIL X SAID.
"I DON'T MIND, REALLY." I SAID.
"HAAAAAAAAAA! YOU SAID IT" DEVIL X SAID.
"I SAID I DON'T MIND, REALLY. YOU SAID I'D SAY IN THE EXACT FUCKING QUOTE "I DON'T CARE". I SAID.
"NO I SAID THATD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE IT SO I STILL WIN." DEVIL X SAID.
"RK THIS GUYS A DOUCHEBAG, LETS JUST KILL HIM." I SAID.
"HOLD ON" RK SAID. "SO YEAH I WAS WONDERING...HOW DO YOU GET PASSED LEVEL 4 IN SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG 2?"
"THERE IS NO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG TWO LMFAO." DEVIL X SAID.
"YEAH THERE IS I OWN IT. ITS THE ONE WHERE YOU TURN INTO A WEREHOG" RK SAID.
"LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO" DEVIL X SAID.
THE GROUND STARTED SHAKING.
"RK WTF IS HAPPENING???" ZEN SAID.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
DEVIL X EXPLODED.
"YEAH, THATS HOW TROLLS GET IT DONE." RK SAID.
"WHOA COOL. RK I WISH I COULD BE JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I GROW UP" I SAID.
"YOUR ASIAN YOU'RE HALF WAY THERE. LO1L1OL1OL1OL1OL1OL1O1L1OL1OL1" RK SAID.
"RIGHT LETS GO IN" ZEN SAID.
"IM AFRAID NOT ZEN" RK SAID. "IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT."
"WHY NOT?" ZEN SAID.
"MEBALL 3 IS IN THERE. AND MEBALL 2. OR WAIT DID WE KILL 2?" RK ASKED.
"I'LL CHECK." THE WRITER SAID.
"K YOU GUYS DIDN'T. MEBALL 2 RAN AWAY LIKE THE PUSSY HE IS" THE WRITER SAID. "AND JAMES SAYS THIS IS GOD LIKE"
"ONLY CAUSE IM NOT DEAD...YET ;O" JAMES SAID.
"K SO MEBALL 2 AND 3 R IN THERE. GUYS, THIS IS A STEALTH MISSION" RK SAID.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" WE ALL SAID.
"STEALTH MISSIONS SUCK MAJOR ASS. SRSLY." I SAID. "LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING STEALTH MISSIONS IN GAMES IN THE WORLD. THEY ALL SUCKED."
"BUT GUY THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE (LOL) WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT OUR SURVIVAL." RK SAID.
"I SUPPOSE." JAMES SAID.
"NOW, ME AND HYPER WILL TAKE FRONT DOOR. ZEN, JAMES, THERES A VENT RIGHT BEHIND THE CASTLE THAT YOU CAN CRAWL-ER-SHIDO YOU TAKE THE VENT, JAMES AND ZEN GO THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR...IF ZEN CAN EVEN FIT THROUGH THAT." RK SAID.
"OH FUCK YOU GUYS." ZEN SAID.
WE ALL SPLIT UP. THE VENT WAS PRETTY CRAMPED BUT I WAS USED TO IT BECAUSE I GAVE DANI ORAL SEX ONCE.
I MANAGED TO WORK MY WAY TO RIGHT ABOVE THE ORGY ROOM. I STARTED TO RECORD THE ORGYS IN HOPES TO MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLERS. ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEARD A LOUD NOISE. IT GOT LOUDER AND LOUDER UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS THE FUCKING VENT FAN.
BUT FOR SOME REASON IT WAS SUCKING THINGS UP.
"FUCK MY LIFE" I SAID.
I FLEW BACKWARDS UNTIL I COULD GRAB ONTO THE SIDES OF THE VENT.
"OH FUCK OH FUCK IM GONNA DIE" I SAID. "UNLESS...I DON'T"
THE FAN STARTED SUCKING HARDER AND I REALIZED IF I WANTED TO LIVE ID HAVE TO BUST THROUGH THE VENT ONTO WHATEVER WAS BELOW. I TRIED ONCE. FAILED. TRIED AGAIN. FAILED. I STARTED SLIPPING. I TRIED AGAIN AND SLIPPED AND GOT SUCKED INTO THE FAN.
SRSLY.
BUT THROUGH SOME SORT OF BIZZARE EVENTS, I SLIPPED RIGHT THROUGH THE FAN BEFORE IT COULD SLICE ME.
THEN I REMEMBERED I WAS ASIAN.
SO I JUST FLEW DOWN INTO THE CASTLE...BASEMENT I ASSUMED.
DOWN THERE WAS A TALL SKINNY OLD GUY WITH A MUSTACHE AND A BLUE CAP.
"HEY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU." I SAID.
"I'M THE JANITOR HERE." HE SAID.
"NAME?" I SAID.
"I USED TO HAVE A NAME BUT...THAT WAS LONG AGO..." HE SAID.
"DONT GIVE ME THE EMO SHIT JUST GIVE ME YOUR NAME" I SAID.
"I HONESTLY FORGOT IT" HE SAID.
"WUT?" I SAID.
"YEAH, I WAS A PRISNOR AND THEY'VE BEEN FORCEING ME TO WORK HERE EVER SINCE. ITS BEEN ABOUT 20 YEARS." HE SAID.
"WELL....I'LL CALL YOU...HM..." I SAID. "WHAT SHOULD I NAME YOU?"
"HM...IM NOT SURE" HE SAID.
"LETS SEE...I'LL CALL YOU....MOONCHILD?" I ASKED.
"BUT IM NOT GAY." HE SAID.
"FINE. THEN HOW ABOUT...SNAKEPIT." I SAID.
"SURE" HE SAID.
SNAKEPIT JOINED YOUR TEAM!
IF YOU PRESS X WHILE SNAKEPIT IS OUT, SNAKEPIT CAN FUCKING SMASH THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE!
"LETS GO!" I SAID.
"WAIT WHY?" SNAKE SAID.
"ER-IM HERE TO KILL DAN, LIBERATE ALL PRISNORS, DESTROY MT, AND HELP SWC WIN THE WAR IN HOPES TO SOMEHOW REVIVE NR." I SAID.
"I-SON-UM. YOU'RE FROM NR?" SNAKE SAID.
"YEAH...WHY?" I ASKED.
"YOU SHOULDN'T BE HELPING SWC" SNAKE SAID.
"WHY...WHATS GOING ON...?" I ASKED.
"SWC IS TRYING TO KILL YOU." HE SAID.
"NO SUNNYS PROTECTING US, HE SENT RK TO WATCH OVER US" I SAID.
"YOU FOOL, HE SENT RK TO KILL YOU." SNAKE SAID.
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YA OLD GOAT." I SAID.
"CAUSE IM HERE ALL DAY. I HEAR PEOPLE TALKING. THIS WAR ISNT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, SHIDO. THERES A WHOLE OTHER STORY."
"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? I NEVER TOLD YOU IT" I SAID.
"SHIDO, LET ME ASK YOU THIS" SNAKE SAID. "HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE IN NR ARE ALIVE?"
"ME..JAMES..ZEN..HYPER...4" I SAID.
"AND WHERE ARE THEY." SNAKE SAID.
"RK..SPLIT US UP." I SAID.
"AND WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAD TO GO ALONE" SNAKE SAID.
"CAUSE IM THE BEST...?" I SAID.
"THEY'RE TESTING YOU, ACTUALLY" SNAKE SAID.
"OKAY OLD MAN WTF IS GOING ON" I SAID.
"SHIDO, I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH, OKAY? ALL I KNOW IS...THEY'RE LOOKING FOR ONE OF YOU FOR SOMETHING...SOMETHING LIKE YOU'RE THE KEY TO SOMETHING...BUT LOOK, ONCE THEY FIND WHO THE KEY IS, THE OTHER 2 WILL DIE."
"3." I SAID.
"NO, SHIDO. 2." HE SAID.
"WHATS GOING ON! TELL ME FUCKING NOW! TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!" I SAID.
"THEY TALK ABOUT A SWC SPY IN NR. I HEAR THEM. ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS A SPY." HE SAID.
"THAT-THATS IMPOSSIBLE IVE KNOWN THEM ALL SINCE BEFORE SWC EXISTED." I SAID.
"HEY" SNAKE SAID. "I JUST HEAR THINGS BRO I DONT KNOW FACTS."
"HOLY SHIT.." I SAID.
"SWCS TRYING TO KILL YOU. AND LOOKING AT YOUR ROSTER, THEY'RE MOST LIKELY GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE."

I SWITCHED OVER TO 3RD PERSON OMNISCENTOFNP AND SAW ZENKU AND JAMEZ. I SUDDENLY REALIZED WHAT A FAG HE IS FOR SPELLING HIS NAME WITH A Z INSTEAD OF AN S. I MEAN WHAT IS HE LIKE 12? ANYWAYS, ZENKU AND JAMEZ WERE WALKING DOWN A HALLWAY.
"OKAY ZEN I THINK THERE ARE SOME GUARDS AROUND THE CORNOR" JAMEZ SAID.
"RIGHT. YOU GO AS BAIT, I'LL RUN PAST THEM." ZEN SAID.
"NO YOU GO AS BAIT, I'LL RUN PAST THEM." JAMEZ SAID.
"LOOK, JAMEZ WE CAN FIGHT ABOUT THIS ALL YOU WANT, BUT IN THE END THE WRITER CAN STILL MILK OUT PLENTY OF FAT JOKES ABOUT ME. WHAT DO YOU HAVE BESIDES YOUR OBVIOUS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HYPER AND THE EMPTY BOX OF FROSTED DONUTS." ZEN SAID.
"EMPTY??" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH YEAH, I FOUND YOUR BOX OF FROSTED DONUTS." ZEN SAID.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU CAME FROM, WHAT YOU DID, WHY YOU DID IT, HOW YOU DID IT, OR WHERE YOU DID IT. I'M STILL THE LEADER OF THIS TEAM, SO GO, HO." JAMEZ SAID.
"FIEN" ZEN SAID. "BUT BEFORE I GO I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS JAMEZ. LOL THE FINAL BAR IS THE 11TH BAR YOU STUPID BEANER!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
"WTF GET OUT OF HERE MAN!" JAMEZ SAID.
ZENKU WENT AROUND THE CORNOR.
"WOW.." HE SAID. "JAMEZ YOU IDIOT, NO ONE IS AROUND THE CORNOR."
"..OH" JAMEZ SAID.
"I...GUESS WE JUST OPEN THE DOOR TO THE NEXT ROOM." JAMEZ SAID.
ZEN OPENED THE DOOR AND AS SOON AS HE DID GOT STABBED IN THE GUT BY A KNIFE.
"FUCK IT WAS THE FAT ONE" RK SAID. "THE KNIFE CANT CUT THROUGH HIS FAT"
"RK WTF??" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH WELL" RK SAID. "YOU CAN HAVE A TASTE OF MY GRENADES!"
RK THREW A GRENADE AND IT FELL SHORT.
"FUCK MY LIFE." RK SAID, FALLING BACK.
THE GRENADE EXPLODED KNOCKING ZEN INTO JAMEZ AND ALMOST FLATTENING JAMEZ.
"WTF WAS THAT" JAMEZ SAID.
"IT WAS YOUR FUCKING LEADERSHIP THATS WHAT IT WAS" ZEN SAID. "I FUCKING SAID NOT TO TRUST RK. I FUCKING DIDN'T TRUST ANY OF THEM."
"ZEN YOU DON'T TRUST ANYONE. YOU DON'T LIKE ANYONE." JAMEZ SAID.
"YEEEEEAAH..." ZEN SAID. "BUT I ESPECIALLY DIDN'T TRUST THEM. A WHITE GUY AND AN ASIAN WORKING TOGETHER? THAT JUST DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A GOOD GUY TEAM. IT SOUNDS LIKE FUCKING GERMANY AND JAPAN AND...MEXICO TEAMED UP TO DESTROY THE WORLD."
"MAYBE WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE, GOD KNOWS WHATS HAPPENING" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH YOU CAN LEAVE JAMEZ BUT IM NOT COMING" ZEN SAID.
"WHAT?" JAMEZ SAID.
"I WAS GONNA LEAVE BEFORE BUT RK ONLY STOPPED ME BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KILL ME" ZEN SAID. "WELL NOW IM GONNA LEAVE FOR GOOD THIS TIME. IM SICK OF YOU SHITTY LEADERSHIP. I'LL COME BACK ONCE YOU'RE DEAD, AND SHIDO HAS BECOME LEADER."
"WTF R U SRS" JAMEZ SAID.
"DEAD SRS" ZEN SAID JUMPING OUT OF THE WINDOW. "OOWWWWWWWWWWWW"
"WTF IS GOING ON" JAMEZ SAID.
--
I CAME BACK TO FIRST PERSON VIEW.
I HAD REALIZED THAT SNAKEPIT WAS RIGHT, SWC WAS TRYING TO KILL US. BUT WHY BRING US ALL THE WAY TO DAN'S CASTLE, THEIR ENEMY, TO DO IT? SOMETHING DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT.
ME AND SNAKEPIT GOT ALL THE WAY TO THE FIRST FLOOR OF THE CASTLE. THERE WERE NO GUARDS. SECOND FLOOR, NO GUARDS. THIRD FLOOR, THERE WAS JAMEZ.
"JAMEZ" I SAID.
"WHA-OH HI SHIDO" JAMEZ SAID. "THE FUCK IS THAT"
"MY NAME IS UH SNAKEPIT" SNAKE SAID.
"EW. A PIT OF SNAKES." JAMEZ SAID. "ANYWAYS WHATS A GAY JANITOR DOING ON OUR TEAM?"
"IT LOOKS LIKE HE CAN HELP US" I SAID. "APPARENTLY SWC IS TESTING US OR SOMETHING."
"HMM..WHERE THE HELL IS HYPER?" JAMEZ SAID. "IM WORRIED ABOUT HIM "
"HE COULD BE THE SPY" SNAKE SAID.
"SPY? WHAT?" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH...IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER NOW..." I SAID. "WHEN RK DROPPED US OFF WITH IRISH, HE TOOK HYPER WITH HIM BECAUSE HYPER COULDN'T DIE. HYPER JUST RANDOMLY DISAPPEARED AT SOME POINTS AND THEN REAPPEARED, PROBABLY WHEN HE WAS MEETING WITH SWC. HYPER KNEW SOME THINGS WE DIDN'T. HYPER SPLIT UP WITH RK IN THIS CASTLE."
"IT'S ALL JUST COINCIDENCE." JAMEZ SAID. "LISTEN TO ME I KNOW THE INSIDE OF HYPERS BU-I MEAN HEAD BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE. HE'D NEVER SPY ON NR"
"THATS THE POINT OF A GOOD SPY" I SAID. "THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THEY'RE YOUR FRIEND."
"L1OL1OL1OL1O1L1O1L"
"RK!" I SAID.
WE LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW.
RK AND HYPER WERE STANDING THERE WITH FUCKING BAZOOKAS.
"GOOD BYE NR" RK SAID.
BOOM. BOOM.
I AWOKE HOURS LATER. APPARENTLY THE BLAST SENT US FLYING TO THE OTHER END OF THE CASTLE, WHICH WAS STANDING UP PERFECTLY WHILE THE OTHER END WAS CRUSHED.
I SAW JAMEZ HAD FLOWN FROM THE BLAST TOO, BUT I COULDNT FIND SNAKEPIT.
"SNAKE? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!" I SAID.
"RIGHT HERE.." I HEARD HIM SAY.
"SNAKE!" HE WAS ON THE GROUND OUTSIDE.
JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW.
"DO I LOOK OKAY SHIDO?" HE ASKED.
IT WAS AT THAT POINT THAT I REALIZED SNAKEPIT WAS BLOWN IN HALF.
"OSHIT---I MEAN YEAH." I SAID.
JAMEZ JUMPED DOWN.
"SHIDO WE SHOULD-HOLY SHIT SNAKE HALF YOUR BODY IS GONE" JAMEZ SAID.
"I KNEW IT" SNAKE SAID.
"NO SHIT" JAMEZ SAID.
"SHIDO YOU MADE ME REALIZE HOW STUPID THIS WHOLE WAR WAS.." SNAKE SAID.
"YOU KNEW HIM FOR 10 MINUTES" JAMEZ SAID.
"SO I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS" SNAKE SAID HANDING ME A SWORD.
"WAIT-WHAT IS THAT?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"ITS WHAT SWCS LOOKING FOR. IT'S THE GOLDEN SWORD. THEY HAVE THE GOLDEN SHIELD. ALL THEY NEED IS THE GOLDEN ARMOR....YOU SEE-"
THEN RK STOMPED ON SNAKES HEAD AND CRUSHED IT.
"THATS ENOUGH OF THAT" RK SAID. "NOW GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING SWORD"
"THIS FEELS LIKE THE INTRO TO A PORNO. SRSLY." JAMEZ SAID. "WHOOPS JUST GOT A BONER."
"HEY, SONIC THE BUTT PIRATE, SHUT THE FUCK UP." RK SAID. "NOW SHIDO, GIVE ME THE SWORD."
I THOUGHT OF RK AS MY HERO, WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO NOW?? I WANTED HIM TO BE PROUD OF ME, BUT HE ALSO TRIED TO KILL ME.
"OKAY" I SAID. " YOU WANT MY SWORD? THEN TAKE IT"
AND THEN I STABBED HIM IN THE STOMACH.
"AWESOME" JAMEZ SAID.
"AH WTF" RK SAID.
"JAMEZ-LET'S LEAVE. FAST" I SAID.
"RIGHT" JAMEZ SAID.
"HEY WAIT-FUCK" RK SAID.
ME AND JAMEZ RAN FOR A MILE AND FINALLY STOPPED TO REST.
"SHIDO THAT WAS AWESOME, RLY" JAMEZ SAID. "YOU'VE NOW GOT MY FULL RESPECT. ONLY ONE OTHER PERSON HAS GOTTEN THAT FULL RESPECT. JOE JONAS."
"HEY" A MYSTERIOUS VOICE SAID FROM THE SHADOWS.
"WHO'S THERE??" I ASKED.
"ITS ME" THE VOICE SAID. THE MAN CAME INTO THE LIGHT. NOT CAME AS IN WELL-YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IT WAS NICK.
"NICK!" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH..." NICK SAID.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" I ASKED.
" WELL AFTER THAT NUCLEAR EXPLOSIAN I GOT SEPERATED. I GOT LOST IN THESE WOODS. IM LUCKY THAT YOU'RE HERE. WHATS BEEN GOING ON?"
"NR IS COMPLETLY DESTORYED. ME AND YOU AND JAMEZ ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT." I SAID.
"AND ZEN" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH, I KNOW WHATS GOING ON HERE" NICK SAID.
"YOU DO?" I ASKED.
"YEAH. SINCE IT'S ONLY YOU TWO NOW THE WRITER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BORING IF IT WAS JUST YOU TWO, SO HE READDED ME TO THE STORY TO COMPLETE THE TEAM. ITS ALMOST LIKE THE POKEMON EVERY SEASON A GIRL GETS REPLACED THING. ZEN WAS YOUR GIRL, AND NOW I AM." NICK SAID.
"WOW NICK I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE SO SMART." JAMEZ SAID.
"SHUT UP MEXICAN" NICK SAID.
"SO WHAT WE GOTTA TAKE OUT MT NOW?" NICK SAID.
"SWC AND MT ARE TRYING TO KILL US." I SAID. "IM ASSUMEING THAT THE "MT CASTLE" WAS FAKE CONSIDERING NO ONE WAS IN IT"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT SNAKE?" JAMEZ SAID.
"THATS RIGHT..." I SAID. "HE SAID HE WORKED THERE FOREVER.."
"SO MAYBE IT WASNT FAKE..." JAMEZ SAID.
"MAYBE IT WAS...EVACUATED?" I SAID.
"POSSIBLY." NICK SAID. "COOL SWORD BRO"
"YEAH GOLDEN SWORD. DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS OR WHY SWC WANTS IT"
"I HAD A SWORD ONCE. WHEN I WAS TRAPPED ON AN ISLAND. GOOD TIMES." NICK SAID.
"CANCELLED NICK, CANCELLED." I SAID.
"RIGHT WELL.." NICK SAID. "WE NEED MORE WEAPONS"
"IDK HOW TO GET THEM" JAMEZ SAID. "SWCS OUR ENEMY NOW, NRS DEAD."
"WAIT--" I SAID. "I SAY WE PAY ANOTHER VISIT TO NR."
"...WHY?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"I THINK THERES SOMEONE THERE WHO CAN HELP US" I SAID.
"WHO??" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU'LL FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER JEEZ" I SAID.

WE WALKED THROUGH THE FORREST FOR HOURS. MAYBE DAYS. MAYBE MONTHS. OKAY, HOURS. WE FINALLY REACHED A SMALL VILLAGE.
"WTF?" JAMEZ SAID. "WHY'S THERE A VILLAGE HERE?"
"IDK" NICK SAID.
"EXCUSE ME ASSHOLE" JAMEZ SAID TO A GUY WALKING BY. "WHAT IS THIS"
"WELCOME" THE MAN SAID. "TO THE SMALL COUNTRY OF A2"
"HYES" JAMEZ SAID. "WEVE FOUND A RESOURCE THAT DOESN'T WANT TO KILL US"
"YES YOU ARE AMOUNG FRIENDS NOW" THE MAN SAID. "UNLIKE NR, WE ARE A NICE COMMUNITY, AND WE HELP ALL IN NEED."
"ER--NR'S DEAD." JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH JAMEZ BLEW UP THE WHOLE COUNTRY" I SAID.
"LOL" THE MAN SAID. "SO YOU'RE FROM MT?"
"NO...WERE FROM NR..." I SAID.
"...OH" THE MAN SAID. "THEN YOU CAN'T STAY HERE. GOOD BYE."
"WAIT WHAT" NICK SAID.
"YES, A2 NEVER HELPS NRS. WE ALL ARE FORMER NRS AND WE HATED IT. I SAID I WOULD MAKE A BETTER COUNTRY AND I AM." THE MAN SAID.
"ER WELL WE HATE NR TOO WHY'D YOU THINK WE BLEW IT UP" JAMEZ SAID.
"WE?" I SAID.
"OH. GREAT THEN" THE MAN SAID. "NOW FIRST YOU'LL NEED TO BUY A HOUSE..."
"ALL I SEE IS STRAW ON THE GROUND" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES THOSE ARE OUR HOUSES..." THE MAN SAID.
"GOT ANY FOOD" NICK SAID.
"YES, IF YOU GO OUT INTO THE FORREST YOU CAN EAT WHAT YOU CAN KILL." THE MAN SAID.
"OKAY I GUESS THAT SOUNDS FAIR..WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"IF YOU GO OUT INTO THE FORREST YOU CAN USE WHAT YOU CAN CARVE" THE MAN SAID.
"YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME" JAMEZ SAID. "THIS PLACE SUCKS DICK, IT CERTAINLY ISN'T BETTER THAN NR."
"...WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY?" THE MAN SAID.
"WELL I MEAN, NO FOOD, NO HOUSES, NO WEAPONS. WTF KIND OF SOCIETY IS THIS?" JAMEZ SAID.
"IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN LEAVE" THE MAN SAID.
"JAMEZ, WE REALLY HAVE NO CHOICE. WE'LL HAVE TO STAY HERE FOR A WHILE I MEAN ATLEAST THEY HAVE....STRAW...." I SAID.
"FIEN. WE'LL BUY....THAT PILE OF STRAW OVER THERE." JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY" THE MAN SAID. "THAT WILL BE 50 THOUSAND DOLLERS."
"ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME" JAMEZ SAID.
"EITHER THAT OR....." THE MAN SAID. "YOU BRING BACK THE EVIL FORREST MONSTER WHICH IS WORTH 50,000 DOLLERS."
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO LOOK FOR EVIL FORREST MONSTERS, DUDE." I SAID. "WE JUST NEED A PLACE TO SLEEP SO WE CAN GET BACK TO NR BY TOMORROW."
"NO-NO SHIDO.." JAMEZ SAID. "WERE LOOKING FOR THAT FORREST MONSTER."
"JAMEZ YOU'RE INSANE!" I SAID.
"SHIDO LISTEN." JAMEZ SAID. " I REALLY HATE THIS GUY. AND I JUST WANT TO PROVE TO HIM, THAT IN THIS WORLD, SOMETIMES THE REAL FRIEND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, IS INSIDE YOURSELF."
".....THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE" NICK SAID.
"OH YES IT DOES NICK." JAMEZ SAID. "SIR, WE WILL BE FINDING THAT MONSTER. AND WHEN HE GETS BACK HE'S GONNA BE BUTTHURT FROM ME KICKING HIS ASS UP AND DOWN THE BLOCK. LETS GO GUYS."
"ER JAMEZ, ARE YOU LIKE.....OKAY?" I ASKED.
"YOU'RE FRIEND HAS ALREADY RUN OFF" THE MAN SAID.
"OH. WELL HEY I'M SHIDO, HE'S NICK AND THE WAS JAMEZ." I SAID.
"I'M EAZY." THE MAN SAID.
--
JAMEZ WAS GOING THROUGH THE FORREST LIKE CRAZY TO FIND THE MONSTER. MEANWHILE ME AND NICK STAYED AT A2.
"WOW EAZY YOU WROTE SO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF ON WIKIPEDIA THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAD TO CREATE A PAGE 2 FOR YOU? IMPRESSIVE." I SAID.
"YES" EAZY SAID. "BUT ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT MY WIKI. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME"
"HEY..SHIDO..." NICK SAID. "WERE STILL ENEMIES WITH SMAC, RIGHT?"
"UH, YEAH NICK I GUESS SO. WHY?" I SAID.
"BECAUSE THEY'RE HERE" NICK SAID.
"WAIT-WHAT?" I SAID.
"IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT" EAZY SAID.
"OH YEAH..." I SAID.
"OH WAIT I FORGOT THE PICTURES OF ME WHEN I WAS 5, BRB" EAZY SAID.
"SEE LOOK RIGHT OVER THERE" NICK SAID.
HE WAS RIGHT. SKY, DRAG, TACO AND A BUNCH OF OTHER SMAC MEMBERS WHO ARE NOT IN SMAC ANYMORE BUT THEY WERE WHEN I STARTED THE STORY AND IM NOT GONNA CHANGE THE STORY AROUND JUST BECAUSE SKY'S EMO.
"OH FUCK ARE THEY HERE FOR US??" I ASKED.
"IDK.." NICK SAID.
"NICK GET READY..." I SAID. "I'M GONNA GO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF DRAG, AND THEN YOU COME UP AND TAKE THE REST."
"ER-I-UH" NICK SAID.
"TOO LATE NICK" I SAID. "IM ALREADY KICKING DRAGS ASS"
ITS TRUE I WAS. DRAG STARTED CRYING WHEN I GOT HIM ON THE GROUND AND STARTED PUNCHING HIM WITH BLOOD ALL OVER MY FIST BUT I DIDN'T CARE.
"HEY HEY HEY WHAT R U- SHIDO?" SKY SAID.
"YA" I SAID.
"ITS BEEN A LONG TIME" SKY SAID.
"ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS" I SAID.
"HOW'VE YOU BEEN" SKY SAID.
"WTF ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING ME?" I SAID.
"UM NO." SKY SAID. "MT FIRED US ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO."
"THATS FUNNY" I SAID. "THATS WHEN JAMEZ FUCKED UP NR. THEY MUST THINK THE WAR'S OVER"
"YEAH. WELL WE WORK FOR A2 NOW. THE JOB IS SIMPLE. KEEP WHITE PEOPLE OUT. AND BY THE LOOKS OF YOU'RE PARTY, I'D SAY YOU'RE HONG KONG, SO GOOD JOB NOT BEING WHITE." SKY SAID.
"BUT AREN'T YOU WHITE" I SAID.
"YEAH BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE IM A WIGGER" SKY SAID.
"NICE" I SAID.
"GUYS" JAMEZ SAID. "I COULDNT FIND THE MONSTER IM SORRY"
"THAT BECAUSE IT NEVER EXISTED JAMEZ" I SAID.
"WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA." SKY SAID. "YOU CANT COME IN HERE"
"WHY NOT?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"YOU'RE WHITE." SKY SAID.
"...WTF?? NO IM NOT!!!!" JAMEZ SAID. "IM MEXISPANIRICAN"
"NOOO...YOU LOOK WHITE TO ME." SKY SAID.
"YEAH JAMEZ. BARELY ANYONE KNOWS YOU'RE A GAY MEXICAN BECAUSE YOU LOOK SOOOOOOOO MUCH LIKE A WHITE PERSON. REMEMBER?" I SAID.
"WTF NO IM MEXICAN YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME" JAMEZ SAID.
"SORRY JAMEZ, I'M JUST DOING MY JOB. UNLESS..." SKY SAID.
"WHAT?? WHAT???" JAMEZ SAID.
"NOTHING. IT WAS JUST THE NOT-WHITE TEST BUT...I'M SURE YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED" SKY SAID.
"OH YES I AM NOW TELL ME WHAT THE NOT-WHITE TEST IS" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU JUST HAVE TO COMPLETE A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT A WHITE PERSON WOULD NEVER DO." SKY SAID.
"IM IN." JAMEZ SAID. "AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, THIS ISNT TO GET INTO YOU'RE COUNTRY, AND THIS ISNT TO PUT HONOR TO MY LAZY ANCESTORS. THIS IS TO PROVE YOU WRONG YOU FUCKING PILE OF SHIT."
"SKY?? WRONG???" SKY SAID. "I LAUGH AT YOUR FOOLISH THINKING."
"GOD DAMMIT WHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH THEMSELVES IN THIS COUNTRY??" I ASKED.
"BECAUSE THIS IS A2" EAZY SAID. "AND I WILL NOT HAVE THE CRACKER IN MY COUNTRY"
"WTF" JAMEZ SAID.
"ITS OKAY HE'S TAKING THE NOT-WHITE TEST." SKY SAID.
"VERY WELL." EAZY SAID. "I INVENTED THE WHITE TEST. I STUDIED WHITE PEOPLE FOR YEARS, AND I MADE UP ALL THE EVENTS. YOU FAIL ONE YOU FAIL COMPLETLY AND ARE BANISHED FOREVER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BEGIN?"
"YEAH FUCKING BITCHES" JAMEZ SAID.
-----
"WTF IM NOT GONNA KILL A JEW" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHY NOT? HITLER DID IT AND HE WAS WHITE" EAZY SAID.
"BUT THAT WAS ONE GUY!" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ, THE NAZI PARTY WAS AN ORGANIZATION, NOT ONE MAN. SIGH, WHITE PEOPLE..." EAZY SAID. "WELL I GUESS YOU PASSED THE FIRST EVENT THEN, JAMEZ. BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS ANY WHITE PERSON WOULD NEVER PASS UP KILLING A JEW"
"OH THANK YOU JAMEZ FOR NOT KILLING ME" BRY SAID.
"WTF" JAMEZ SAID. "EAZY, DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS A LITTLE RACIST?"
"SHUT UP JAMEZ" EAZY SAID. "EVENT 2: A WHITE PERSON CAN NOT GET A 'C' OR HIGHER ON A MATH TEST. YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS AND 45 QUESTIONS. GO."
"SHIDO IM MEXICAN...YOU GOTTA HELP ME HERE.." JAMEZ SAID.
"GIMME THE TEST" I SAID. "OKAY QUESTION ONE......QUESTION FORTY FIVE. DONE."
"ASIAN FRIENDS ALWAYS RULE" JAMEZ SAID.
"HM" EAZY SAID. "WELL DONE. MOVING ON TO EVENT 3: A WHITE PERSON WOULD NEVER NOT TAKE A BAT AND BEAT A HANDICAPPED PERSON OVER THE HEAD WITH IT."
"OKAY THIS IS A LITTLE EXTREME" I SAID. "IM ALL FOR YELLOW OVER WHITE, BUT YOU'RE BLACK EAZY AND HAVE VERY LITTLE ROOM TO TALK."
"OOOOOOOH SNAP" NICK SAID.
"WHAT?" EAZY SAID.
"YEAH I SAID IT." SHIDO SAID. "EAZY HERES YOU'RE EVENT FOR A BLACK TEST. A BLACK MAN CANNOT READ A SENTANCE IN UNDER 3 MINUTES. GO."
"OH DAMN GOOD THING NOBODY BLACK READS THIS STORY OR I'D GET FUCKING FLAMED" SUNNYCIDE SAID.
"OSHIT SUNNYCIDE WTF R U DOING HERE???" I ASKED.
"I TRACKED YOU GUYS DOWN" SUNNY SAID.
"YEAH" RK SAID.
"OH NO" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH LOOK THE LEADER OF SWC IS HERE. SKYS WONDERFUL CLAN LOL ARENT I JUST SO HILARIOUS GUYS" SKY SAID.
"SHUT UP FAG" RK SAID SLICEING SKYS HEAD OFF.
"OH SHIT O_O" NICK SAID.
"GIVE US THE SWORD SHIDO" SUNNY SAID.
"NO" SHIDO SAID. "I HAVE A FEELING THIS SWORD IS GONNA DO SOMETHING BIG LIKE DESTORY THE WORLD OR SOMETHING AND I CAN'T LET YOU HAVE IT" I SAID.
"SUNNY LETS JUST BURN THIS WHOLE VILLAGE DOWN" RK SAID.
"NO!" EAZY SAID. "YOU CANT DO THAT TO MY COUNTRY! IVE WORKED SO HARD---WAIT A MINUTE!! YOU'RE WHITE!!"
"YEAH SO?" SUNNY SAID.
"NO WHITE PEOPLE ALLOWED." EAZY SAID.
SUNNY STABBED EAZY IN THE CHEST.
"SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. WHITE PEOPLE ONLY CREATE HATE LIKE THIS" EAZY SAID.
SUNNY KICKED EAZY'S HEAD AND SNAPPED HIS NECK.
"SHIDO JUST GIVE THEM THE SWORD!" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO JAMEZ" I SAID. "YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A COWARD. AND THATS WHATS ALWAYS MADE YOU A BAD LEADER. I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU WERE GENERAL IN THE FIRST PLACE. I CANT BELIEVE I USED TO SEE YOU AS A HERO, AND ONLY 5 MONTHS OF HAVING YOU ON THE SAME TEAM I SEE YOUR TRUE PERSONALITY."
"ER..I....YEAH..." JAMEZ SAID.
"FINE" SUNNY SAID. "IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE US THE SWORD I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU"
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" A MYSTERIOUS VOICE SAID.
"WHO'S THAT" SUNNY SAID.
"YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHO I AM SUNNY" THE MAN SAID. "ITS ME, FANG :3"
"GINGA!" SUNNY SAID.
"YEAH SO WHATS GOING ON HERE?" GINGA FANG WEED WOLF WHATEVER HIS NAME IS SAID.
"WERE TRYING TO-" RK SAID.
"YEAH AINT NO ONE TALKING TO YOU ASIAN" GINGA SAID.
"HM " RK SAID.
"WERE TRYING TO GET THAT GOLDEN SWORD FROM SHIDO" SUNNY SAID.
"HUH RLY NOW." GINGA SAID. "YOU GUYS RUN OFF. I'LL GET IT FOR YOU."
"FUCK MY LIFE" I SAID.
"WELL-" RK SAID.
"HEY ASIAN. SHUT UP." GINGA SAID.
"... " RK SAID.
"LETS GO RK" SUNNY SAID.
"YEAH...OKAY..." RK SAID.
"OKAY KIDS GIVE ME THE GOLDEN SWORD" GINGA SAID.
"NO!" ME AND NICK SAID.
"...NO!" JAMEZ SAID.
IT WAS THAT DAY THAT JAMEZ BALLS GREW 3 TIMES THAT DAY...UNTIL HE HAD SOME.
"IM NOT LETTING ANYONE GET HAT SWORD" JAMEZ SAID. "IM SURE GINGA IS POWERFUL, BUT IM SURE THAT WITH OUR FRIENDSHIP AND TEAMWORK GUYS WE CAN OVERCOME HIS POWER AND-"
THEN GINGA KICKED JAMEZ UP INTO THE AIR. JAMEZ FLEW BACK DOWN WITH A BLAST AND GINGA PICKED HIM UP, SWUNG HIM INTO NICK, THE JUMPED UP AND DROP KICKED ME IN THE FACE.
ALL OF US WERE ON THE GROUND, SCARED.
"WOW RLY?" GINGA SAID. "YOU GUYS HAVE THE GOLDEN SWORD? I LOLD. RLY." GINGA SAID. "YOU GUYS SUCK DICK. "JAMEZ" AS I ASSUME THATS YOUR NAME, YOU COULD HAVE EASILY BLOCKED MY KICK, "NICK" YOU COULD HAVE DUCKED, AND SHIDO YOU COULD HAVE GRABBED MY FOOT AND FLIPPED ME BACK INTO THE AIR."
"WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS" I ASKED.
"IM JUST LETTING YOU KNOW" GINGA SAID. "YOU GUYS SUCK."
GINGA FLEW UP IN THE AIR, CRASHED DOWN ON NICK, THEN GRABBED JAMEZ AND FLIPPED HIM OVER, THROWING HIM ON THE GROUND, AND FINALLY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE 7 TIMES BEFORE SPARTA KICKING ME INTO A TREE.
"HOLY SHIT. SWC IS SRSLY AFTER YOU GUYS? IM LOLING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW" GINGA SAID.
"GUYS....OUR TEAMWORK CAN-" JAMEZ SAID.
GINGA STEPPED ON JAMEZ.
"SHUT UP, MEXICAN" GINGA SAID.
"THANK YOU!" JAMEZ SAID.
"ANY OF YOU GONNA GET UP?" GINGA SAID.
"SHIDO..." NICK SAID. "USE THE SWORD AGAINST THEM..."
"RIGHT.." I SAID.
I PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
"YOU GIVING THAT TO ME?" GINGA SAID.
"YEAH YOU CAN SAY THAT." I SAID.
I TRIED TO STAB GINGA BUT HE GRABBED THE SWORD AND PULLED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THEN KICKED ME IN THE FACE.
I FELL TO THE GROUND.
"DAMN THAT WORKED ON RK..." I SAID.
"YEAH, YOU KNOW WHY? CAUSE RKS A FUCKING IDIOT THATS WHY. BUT IM NOT. I BEAT UP 3 GUYS AND SENT THEM TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE THEY WERE PICKING ON A DOG (50 billion dollers for whoever gets that reference)." GINGA SAID. "NOW, I HAVE THE SWORD AND ALL 3 OF YOU ON THE GROUND, SO PREPARE TO DIE."
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" A FAMILIAR VOICE SAID.
"HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON?" GINGA SAID.
"BEND OVER GINGA, BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO FUCK YOU UP THE ASS"
"WTF RK?" GINGA SAID.
"YEAH" RK SAID. "IM SICK OF YOU. SUNNY CHOSE ME TO BE THE SECOND IN COMMAND, NOT YOU. FUCKING DEAL WITH IT"
"LOL" GINGA SAID. "YOU THINK YOU'RE SRSLY GOING TO BEAT ME UP RK?"
"NO" RK SAID. "IM GONNA KILL YOU"
"...LOLD. HARD." GINGA SAID. "I HAVE THE GOLDEN SWORD AND I AM, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE BETTER FIGHTER"
"YEAH OKAY WHATEVER. FUCKING FURRY." RK SAID.
"OKAY YEAH, KIDS HANG ON A SEC, I'M GONNA KILL RK AND THEN I'LL GET BACK TO KILLING YOU" GINGA SAID.
RK JUMPED UP AND PUNCHED GINGA IN THE FACE, KNOCKING THE SWORD OUT OF HIS HANDS. THE SWORD SLID OVER TO NICK. HE TRIED TO GRAB IT, BUT RK WAS TOO QUICK AND HAD GRABBED IT AND WAS RUNNING BACK OVER TO GINGA.
GINGA, ON THE GROUND, KICKED UP AT RK WHEN HE RAN OVER TO HIM CAUSING RK TO SLIDE BACK JUST A BIT. GINGA GOT BACK UP AND TRIED TO GRAB THE SWORD OUT OF RK'S HAND BUT RK KICKED GINGA IN THE STOMACH.
RK SHOUTED SOMETHING AND THE GOLDEN SWORD STARTED GLOWING.
"FUCK...." GINGA SAID.
A GIANT FLASH FILLED THE VILLAGE.
RK FLEW UP HIGH INTO THE AIR AND SO DID GINGA. ALL I SAW WAS WHAT LOOKED LIKE RK SLASHING GINGA MULTIPLE TIMES AND THEN, AND HUGE CHOP OVER GINGA'S HEAD, SENT GINGA FLYING STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE GROUND, EXPLODING THE GROUND. ME, NICK, AND JAMEZ ROLLED BACK FROM THE BLAST AND I HIT A TREE AND IT HURT.
RK FLOATED DOWN TO THE GROUND SAFETLY. GINGA HAD LEFT A CRATER WHERE HE HAD LANDED, AND RK PULLED HIM OUT OF IT.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK YOU" GINGA SAID.
"YEAH WHATEVER." RK SAID. "WHEN YOU GET TO HELL, TELL THE DEVIL WHAT HAPPENED. HE'LL GET A KICK OUT OF IT."
"FUCK YOU!" GINGA SAID.
"YEAH. YOU SAID THAT ALREADY." RK SAID.
HE DROPPED GINGA TO THE GROUND. GINGA PUSHED HIMSELF UP, AND THEN RK KICKED HIS HEAD IN.
GINGA FELL THE THE GROUND BATTERED WITH BLOOD ALL OVER HIS HEAD.
"FINALLY." RK SAID.
THEN JAMEZ CAME UP BEHIND RK AND HIT HIS HAND, AND AS RK RELEASED HIS GRIP FROM THE SWORD JAMEZ GRABBED IT AND STARTED RUNNING FAST.
"THATS SUCKA" JAMEZ SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT" RK SAID.
"SHIDO, NICK, HURRY LETS GO!" JAMEZ SAID ZIPPING PAST US.
NICK RAN OFF.
I RAN A LITTLE BEFORE I HEARD DRAG SAY "YOU DESTROYED OUR COUNTRY"
I LOOKED BEHIND ME AND SAW SMAC SURROUNDING RK.
"WERE NOT GOING TO LET YOU LEAVE HERE." TACO SAID.
ALL OF SMAC WAS SURROUNDING HIM. AT LEAST WHEN SMAC KILLED RK WE WOULDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HIM.
"BACK OFF GUYS." RK SAID. "IM SRS"
BUT SMAC MOVED IN CLOSER TO RK. AND CLOSER. AND CLOSER. UNTIL RK DID A SUPER ROUND HOUSE KICK, SPLITTING THEM ALL IN HALF.
"I TOLD YOU I WAS SRS" RK SAID.
"SHIDO! LETS GO!" NICK SAID.
I STARTED RUNNING. WHATEVER WE WERE DEALING WITH HERE, I WAS SCARED.

WE FINALLY REACHED NR.
"GUYS WE MADE IT!" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH JAMEZ NOW GIMME THE SWORD" I SAID.
"BUT-ER-FINE..." JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ GAVE ME THE SWORD.
"THANKS" I SAID.
"NOW SHIDO, WHO'S GONNA HELP US HERE?" JAMEZ ASKED.
I LOOKED OVER AT NICK. HE WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK.
"THIS-THIS IS NR?" NICK SAID. "EVERYTHINGS...GONE..."
"YEAH NICK" I SAID. "DONT WORRY, MT WILL PAY."
"SHIDO, WHOS GONNA HELP US????" JAMEZ ASKED.
"FOLLOW ME GUYS" I SAID.
WE CLIMBED A FEW HILLS UNTIL WE FOUND IT. THE LITTLE HUT ONTOP OF THE HIGHEST HILL WAS UNHARMED.
WE WALKED IN.
"SHIDO. I KNEW YOU'D BE RETURNING." THE VOICE OF A MAN I HAD MET ONCE BEFORE SAID.
"BLOODYREGRET. YES, I HAVE RETURNED." I SAID.
"BLOODYREGRET?" JAMEZ SAID. "THAT GUY WHO FUCKED UP TIME FOR US???"
"YOU FUCKED UP TIME YOURSELVES." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"BLOODY, WE NEED-"
"HELP. I KNOW. I SAW." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELP US?" I ASKED.
"YES, INFACT IM MIXING A POTION THAT SHOULD TURN YOU INVINCIBLE." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"COOL BEANS" JAMEZ SAID. "HEY CAN WE ADD HOT SAUCE IN THERE? LETS ADD HOT SAUCE"
"NO YOU IDIOT" BLOODYREGRET SAID.
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. JAMEZ HAD ADDED HOT SAUCE INTO THE POTION. ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYTHING TURNED BLUE.
"COOL IM BLUE IM LIKE SONIC WOO" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU IDIOT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE" BLOODYREGRET SAID.
SUDDENLY NICK, JAMEZ, AND BLOODYREGRET WERE GONE.
I awoke probably hours later. I looked around the deck of some sort of space shuttle where I had apparently fallen asleep. I rubbed my head from my terrible headache.
Shiek: Hey you! (Runs over to me)
Me: Gah what the f-
Shiek: HOLD IT. (smashes Shido) Keep this PG-13, buddy.
Me: Ow! (Rubs cheek) Where am I?
Shiek: You're in the middle of a war!
Me: Wait am I...NO. NO WAY. DID I SOMEHOW SWITCH STORIES TO SSB APEX?
Shiek: Stories....? Apex?....Sbb?
Me: Oh no f-er-freaking way. You're clueless.
Shiek: You must be some strange genetic expiriment of the Subspace Army. Greyfox where are you! (looks around)
Me: No see what happened was... my idiot leader, Jamez, poured hot sauce into Bloodyregret's potion which must have turned the potion into some wierd Story-Changing-
Captain Falcon: Well hello there, Lil' Missy.
Me: Okay how the fuck do I get out of this story.
Shiek: I have no idea what you're talking about. (Whispering to Falcon) I think we have an insane person here. Must have escaped from the asylum while the staff was in confusion with the war.
Me: WHAT? INSANE? WHO LET YOU OUT OF THE KITCHEN?
Rob: Rob feel sad. Requires HAPPINESS.
Me: Oh that's nice, an emo robot. (snaps Robs head off, throws it to the ground and smashed it) NOW LISTEN HERE-
Captain Falcon: FALCON-
Me: OH SHI-
Captain Falcon: PAWNCH!!!!
Me: (Hit by the Falcon punch, and goes flying into the air) Looks like I'm blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!
--
I waked again in more hours.I seemed to be in galaxy. Space galaxy. All around people from MT.
"Chef, we must get the eggpawnz" Dan said.
"Corrupt has the eggpawnz" Corrupt said.
"Give them Corrupt we must has the eggpawnz" Chef said.
"DAMN ATLEAST THIS FANFIC IS LAUGHABLE I DIDNT EVEN CRACK A SMILE IN MY FANFIC" I said.
"What here for, Shido?" Dan said. "You're in NR now correct?"
"Yeah sure whatever bro." I said.
"Why he wierdly talk?" Chef asked.
"Dan do not know." Dan said.
NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON.
"WTF" I said. "THE CHAPTER WAS LIKE 50 WORDS."
"We know" Dan said. "Our writer most likely retarded, so we not mind."
"Okay well, I'm out of here." I said. "Oh and by the way. NR is the good guys."
"NO THEY BAD THEY BADDDDDDDDDD"
Then the FF exploded.
--
-Shido-: Whoa..where am I now?
Spinout: JPLX YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED YOU FUCK
Jplx: GREAT SPIN NOW YOU'VE MADE NOAH CRY
Noah: STOP FIGHTING
Cris: Zuh?
-Shido-: HAVE I SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE FEARLESS FIGHTERS XAT CHAT?
Cris: HEY GUYS WANNA BRAWL BUT YOU CANT HAVE CUSS TAUNTS
Jplx: Yes Cris, I would love to brawl
Sunnycide: HEY FEARLESS FIGHTERS WHATS UP
Spinout: I have banned Sunnycide forever for no reason
Jplx: SPIN UNBAN HIM
Rick: Why he's a dick
Jplx: HE'S OUR FRIEND
Spinout: I'M THE LEADER HERE AND WHAT I SAY GOES
Jplx: NOW NOAH'S CRYING AGAIN
-Shido-: holy shit do these guys ever shut up...fuck this I'm out of here. I'M GOING TO THE SWC CHAT.
--
-Shido-: HEY GUYS
Cosmick: OKAY GUYS HERE ARE THE TEAMS
-Shido-: TEAMS? What we doing here?
Cosmick: ME, SUNNY, AND MASTER VS ZIRO, MUSIC, AND HBSFDUDE
-Shido-: Whats going on? Something fun?
Cosmick: LET THE FLAME WAR, BEGIN
-Shido-: O_O I'm out
--
"OKAY WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW!" Shido shouted. "Huh? What's going on here?"
"Shido, it's Nick, he's back with the sword!" Jamez said.
"Me and Sky are scared!" Ziro said. "It's okay Sky, really it is!"
"Oh. I'm HERE." Shido said. "Well I'm out of here, I hope you fuckers enjoyed the only sixty-four words that will ever be written about you again."
--
where am i now i said.
oh shit i said. im in a bad ff! i then walked over to the pizza stand and ordered two pizzas i ate them for a long long lgon time.
y is this happening to me i just want2 gho bak to finr. i said
theres no place like home no place like home no place like home mm this pizzas good.
whoa look at the time i really must be going goodbye
--
I FINALLY ENDED UP BACK IN BLOODYREGRET'S HOUSE.
"OKAY" BLOODYREGRET SAID. "JAMEZ GET OUT OF MY HOUSE."
"WHHHHHHHHHHHHY" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU JUST FUCKED UP REALITY" I SAID. "HEY WHERES NICK?"
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF" JAMEZ SAID. "HES BACK IN TIME"
"BACK IN TIME?" I SAID.
"YEAH. I ACCIDENTLY LEFT HIM THERE. WHOOPS." JAMEZ SAID.
"MY GOD JAMEZ YOU'RE STUPIDER THAN ME" I SAID. "BLOODY CAN YOU SEND ME BACK IN TIME TO GET NICK?"
"IM AFRAID NOT." BLOODY SAID.
"DAMN YOU JAMEZ" I SAID.
NICK WALKED INTO THE HOUSE.
"NICK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE BACK IN TIME!" I SAID.
"I WAS. 5 MINUTES BACK IN TIME. JAMEZ PUSHED ME DOWN A HILL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE THE FIRST ONE BACK TO BLOODYREGRETS HOUSE."
"HI GUYS" SHIDO SAID AS HE WALKED INSIDE.
"WTF" I SAID. "TWO OF ME?"
"OH NO..." BLOODYREGRET SAID. "APPARENTLY TIME REALLY SCREWED UP AND WHILE WE TRAVELED BACK IN TIME, AND SHIDO ENTERED ANOTHER DIMENSION, SHIDO MUST HAVE BEEN ACCIDENTLY CLONED IN THE PROGRESS. AND ITS ALL JAMEZ FAULT."
"SO WHICH ONE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER?" I ASKED.
"THAT IS A QUESTION." SHIDO SAID.
"BEHOLD SHIDO. YOUR FUCKED UP FLIPPER BABY" JAMEZ SAID.
"WELL WERE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE TO KILL ONE OF THEM" NICK SAID.
"YES, WE ARE, BECAUSE WHENEVER SOMEONE HAS A CLONE THEY ARE EVIL AND WE DO NOT NEED EVIL SHIDOS RUNNING AROUND." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"BUT WHICH ONE IS SHIDO?" NICK ASKED.
"WE'LL ASK THEM QUESTIONS ONLY SHIDO CAN KNOW" JAMEZ SAID.
"THEYRE BOTH SHIDO, RETARD." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"FINE...WE'LL ASK THEM QUESTIONS AND WE'LL SEE WHO HAS THE MOST EVIL ANSWERS." JAMEZ SAID.
"WOW THAT SOUNDS RLY GOOD JAMEZ, UR SO SMART AND ABSOLUTLY RESPECTABLE." SHIDO SAID.
"K, THAT IS NOT SHIDO." NICK SAID.
"NO, NICK, I THINK IT IS. I THINK SHIDO HAS FINALLY REALIZED HOW COOL I AM" JAMEZ SAID.
"NOT REALLY" I SAID.
"HEY HEY HEY. I'LL BE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE, CLONE." JAMEZ SAID. "QUESTION ONE. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GAME IN THE WHOLE WORLD."
"SONIC" SHIDO SAID.
"EXACTLY." JAMEZ SAID. "EVERYONE KNOWS SHIDOS FAVORITE GAME IS SONIC."
")_)" I SAID.
"YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK A LITTLE BAD THERE, CLONE." JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ THATS THE REAL SHIDO." NICK SAID.
"NICK, I THINK IVE KNOWN SHIDO LONGER THAN YOU HAVE." JAMEZ SAID.
"NO YOU HAVENT. I MET HIM IN CHAPTER 2 AND YOU MET HIM IN CHAPTER...3-4ISH." NICK SAID.
"YEAH WELL UR MOM. K NEXT QUESTION" JAMEZ SAID. "WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT. SONIC OR MARIO"
"SONIC OF COURSE." SHIDO SAID.
")_)" I SAID.
"OKAY, FINAL QUESTION." JAMEZ SAID. "WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE MEMBER OF OUR NR TEAM."
"YOU OF COURSE, MASTER" SHIDO SAID.
"AS OF RIGHT NOW PROBABLY NICK, BECAUSE HES THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN" I SAID.
"ALRIGHT. WEVE FOUND OUR SHIDO." JAMEZ SAID.
"YAY" SHIDO SAID.
"ARE YOU SRSLY THAT FUCKING STUPID." BLOODYREGRET SAID. "NICK! QUICK GRAB THE AXE!"
BLOODYREGRET TOSSED AN AXE AT NICK, AND HE CAUGHT IT AND SWUNG IT INTO SHIDOS BACK.
"WTF R U DOING?!?!?!?!" JAMEZ SAID.
"THANK YOU NICK" I SAID.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU" SHIDO SAID IN HIS FINAL BREATH.
"SHIDO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" JAMEZ SAID.
"K" I SAID. "NOW THAT THATS OVER, BLOODY, WE NEED SOME INFO"
"I KNOW." BLOODY SAID. "YOU HAVE THE GOLDEN SWORD. LEMME SEE I-JAMEZ STOP CRYING ITS ANNOYING. LEMME SEE IT."
I HANDED BLOODY THE SWORD.
"WOW, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?" BLOODY ASKED.
"UH-GUY NAMED SNAKEPIT GAVE IT TO ME." I SAID.
"OH. THE FIRST SEAL." BLOODY SAID.
"EXPLAIN. EVERYTHING." I SAID.
"K" BLOODYSAID. "WELL...YOU SEE. IN THE OLD ANCIENT TIMES BEFORE MANKIND EXISTED-"
"IF MANKIND DIDNT EXIST HOW WAS THIS TIME RECORD" JAMEZ SAID.
"-3 ANGELS RULED THE WORLD-"
"THE WORLD OF NO MANKIND?"
"-EACH OF THEM HAD A GOLDEN ITEM. THE WEAKEST WAS MARTAN WHO HAD THE GOLDEN ARMOR. THEN BRADLEY WHO HAD THE GOLDEN SHIELD. AND FINALLY THE STRONGEST OF THEM, AND THE UNIVERSES CREATOR, GOD. GOD HAD THE GOLDEN SWORD-"
"THIS STORY IS EXTREMLY GAY"
"TOGETHER, THE GOLDEN ITEMS MADE THE WIELDER INVINCIBLE. BUT TOGETHER THEY WERE JUST GOOD."
"LIKE SHIDOS MOM. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH"
"ONE DAY, BRADLEY, THE MOST UNSTABLE OF THE THREE DECIDED HE WOULD TRY TO TAKE ALL THREE ITEMS AND OVERTAKE GOD."
"DID HE HAVE A CHANCE? :0"
"YES, FOR HE WAS VERY POWERFUL. ANYWAYS, BRADLEY FOUGHT MARTAN AND DEFEATED HIM. ONCE BRADLEY HAD THE GOLDEN ARMOR, MARTAN WENT TO WARN GOD OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING. ANGRY AT BRADLEY, GOD CREATED A FOURTH ITEM, THE GOLDEN ARROW, WHICH COULD SLICE THROUGH ANYTHING."
"THAT WOULD MAKE ARTS AND CRAFTS SO FUCKING EASY"
"NOW BRADLEY NEEDED THE ARROW TO BECOME INVINCIBLE TOO. BUT GOD SEALED IT IN AN UNKNOWN AREA WHERE BRADLEY COULD NEVER FIND IT. OUTRAGED, BRADLEY FOUGHT GOD, BUT GOD WON."
"GOD FTW"
"AS HIS PUNISHMENT, GOD SEALED BRADLEY IN A CURSE WHICH KEPT HIM FROM USING ANY OF HIS NATURAL POWERS AND HE WAS LOCKED IN SOME SORT OF REALM."
"DID HE GET GROUNDED FROM GAMEBOY SP? ONE TIME MY MOM TOOK AWAY MY GAMEBOY SP FOR 5 MONTHS CAUSE I CALLED HER A BITCH-"
"FOR GODS SAKE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FURRY BUTT PIRATE. ANYWAYS... BRADLEY HAD TAKEN HIS GOLDEN SHIELD DOWN TO THE REALM WITH HIM, AND GOD LET HIM, BECAUSE HE FEARED OF MORTALS FINDING ALL THE GOLDEN ITEMS, AND HE KNEW AS LONG AS BRADLEY WAS IN THE REALM THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE ONE THEY COULDNT GET."
"BUT SWC HAS IT. RK SAID."
"YES, AS PEOPLE GREW ADVANCED WITH MAGIC, IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR THEM TO GO TO THE REALM. I BELIEVE THAT SWC LEARNED THE MAGIC, WENT IN THE REALM AND KICKED BRADLEY'S ASS. ANYWAYS, WHEN GOD CREATED HEAVEN, HE LEFT HIS SWORD WITH ONE FAMILY WHICH HAS BEEN PASSING IT DOWN FOR GENERATIONS TO GUARD. "
"WHY DIDNT HE JUST DESTROY THE GOLDEN WEAPONS?"
"GOD DAMMIT I'LL GET TO THAT. IT IS ALSO SAID THAT MARTAN IS STILL ON EARTH AND HE STILL HAS THE GOLDEN ARMOR. AS FOR THE ARROW...NO ONE KNOWS WHERE IT IS, EXCEPT GOD. "
"OKAY, WHY DIDNT HE DESTROY THEM?"
"WHEN BRADLEY WAS SEALED IN THE REALM OF NO RETURN, GOD NEEDED HIS REPLACEMENT. GOD TRIED FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS, BUT EACH CREATION WAS NOT AS GOOD AS BRADLEY WAS. UNTIL, GOD CREATED THE PERFECT ANGEL."
"AND WHERE IS THAT ANGEL NOW?"
"NO ONE KNOWS. BUT, GOD KNEW ONE DAY, BRADLEY WOULD ESCAPE, AND WHEN THAT TIME COMES, THE CHOSEN ANGEL WILL DEFEND THE WORLD AGAINST HIM. THE ONLY WAY THE ANGEL COULD HAVE AN UPPERHAND AGAINST BRADLEY IS WITH ATLEAST THREE OUT OF FOUR OF THE GOLDEN ITEMS. SO, GOD KEPT THEM ON THIS WORLD FOR THE ANGEL TO FIND."
"THEN WHY DID SNAKEPIT GIVE SHIDO THE SWORD?"
"WELL" I SAID. "HE WAS DIEING WHEN HE GAVE IT TO ME."
"YES." BLOODYREGRET SAID. "HE PROBABLY LEFT IT IN YOUR TRUST THAT YOU'D GIVE IT TO THE ANGEL."
"BUT HOW CAN WE WHEN WE DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK THAT ANGEL IS?!?!?!!?!!" JAMEZ SAID.
"IT IS SAID THAT THE ANGEL WILL COME TO THE HOLDER OF THE SWORD." BLOODYREGRET SAID. "ANYWAYS...THE AREA OF THE GOLDEN ARROW IS TOTALLY UNKNOWN. I'VE TRIED LOOKING FOR IT ALMOST ALL MY LIFE BUT---I NEVER FOUND IT."
"SO YOU DOUBT SWC WILL?"
"NO...THERES SOMETHING ABOUT SWC THAT MAKES ME THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW WHERE IT IS."
"MAYBE WE CAN GET MT TO HELP US" JAMEZ SAID.
"SIGH" BLOODY SAID. "YOU FOOL. MT IS-"
BOOOOOOOM
"WHAT WAS THAT?" NICK ASKED.
"LETS CHECK" I SAID.
WE WENT OUTSIDE AND SAW A GIANT CRATER IN THE GROUND.
WE WATCHED AS THE FIGURE CLIMBED UP FROM THE CRATER.
COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THE ANGEL??????
NOPE, IT WAS MEBALL.
"FINALLY FOUND YOU GUYS" MEBALL2 SAID.
"FUCK WHAT NOW?" JAMEZ SAID.
"THE SWORD!" I SAID.
"SHIDO WAIT!" BLOODY SAID. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF POWER-"
BAM BAM BAM
MEBALL SHOT HALF OF BLOODYS FACE OFF.
"SHUDDAP OLD MAN" MEBALL SAID.
"UH OH" JAMEZ SAID.
BLOODY ROLLED DOWN THE HILL DEAD.
I REMEMBERED WHAT RK DID WITH THE SWORD TO GINGA. COULD I POSSIBLY DO IT TOO?
BUT I FORGOT WHAT HE YELLED. I DECIDED I WOULD JUST USE THE SWORD HOW I WAS TOUGHT.
I RAN UP TO MEBALL2 AND SLASHED THE SWORD, MISSED, AND FELL ON THE GROUND. MEBALL2 PICKED UP THE SWORD.
"WOW THANKS NOOBS" MEBALL2 SAID. "I'LL BE GOING NOW-"
"NOT SO FAST" A MYSTERIOUS MAN SAID.
THE MAN JUMPED DOWN FROM THE SKY AND LANDED ON MEBALL2.
"OWWW" MEBALL2 SAID.
THE MAN TOOK THE SWORD.
"IM SURE YOU GENTLEMEN NEED THIS?" HE SAID.
THE MAN WAS FAT-REALLY FAT. WITH A RED BANDANA TIED AROUND HIS MOUTH AND A BLACK COYBOY HAT.
"WHOA THANKS MYSTERIOUS MAN!" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU FOOLS! MTFTWMTFTWMTFTW!!!!" MEBALL2 CRIED OUT.
THE MAN STUCK THE SWORD IN MEBALL2S HEAD, KILLING HIM.
I GOT UP AND HE HANDED THE SWORD TO ME.
"THANKS" I SAID. "SO...ARE YOU THE ANGEL?"
"ME? AN ANGEL? UH, NO." THE MAN SAID.
"WHO ARE YOU THEN?" NICK ASKED.
"YOU CAN CALL ME.....IZZY. YES, IZZY." THE MAN SAID. "I HAVE RECENTLY BECOME A MASKED AVENGER OF THE GOOD GUYS AND HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU PPL B4 IN MY LIFE."
"HEY IZZY, WANT TO JOIN MY TEAM?" JAMEZ SAID. "WERE ON A SUPER COOL ADVENTURE."
"THANKS BUT, I THINK I'LL JOIN YOUR TEAM ONCE YOUR DEAD." IZZY SAID.
"OH, THATS COOL." JAMEZ SAID. "I'LL SEND YOU A POSTCARD."
"YEAH...L8R" IZZY SAID DISSAPEARING INTO THE FORREST.
"WOW I WISH I KNEW WHO IZZY REALLY WAS, IM SURE HE AND I WOULD RLY GET ALONG GREAT" JAMEZ SAID.

WE ALL KNEW WHAT WAS NEEDED TO BE DONE NEXT. WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHOSEN ANGEL TO COME TO US. WE THOUGHT IT'D BE EASIER TO GO TO A TOWN, WHERE LOTS OF PEOPLE WOULD BE. MOST LIKELY THE ANGEL WILL BE THERE, RIGHT?
WE WENT TO THE REBUILT TOWN OF RIKSBLOG. THEY REBUILT IT PRETTY NICELY.
OF COURSE WE HAD TO DISGUISE OURSELVES, FOR IT WAS NOW PROPERTY OF MT. JAMEZ DECIDED IF WE ALL WORE THE COLOR RED, NO ONE WOULD NOTICE US, BECAUSE NONE OF US USUALLY WORE RED.
"OHSHI GUYS" JAMEZ SAID. "ITS...THAT GUY...!"
"ZIRO." I SAID. "FFFFU"
ZIRO WAS STANDING THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWD LOOKING AROUND.
"WHATS HE DOING IN A MT TOWN??" JAMEZ WHISPERED.
"DUNNO" I SAID. "NICK, HE DOESNT KNOW YOU, MAYBE YOU CAN DISTRACT HIM WHILE ME AND JAMEZ SNEAK PAST"
"CERTAINLY" NICK SAID. "EXCUSE ME SIR"
"WAT" ZIRO SAID.
"IM LOST" NICK SAID.
"OH WELL-" ZIRO SAID.
"LOST IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES" NICK SAID.
"LOLWUT" ZIRO SAID.
"YA. GOOD THING I BROUGHT MY LIBRARY CARD BECAUSE IM CHECKING YOU OUT" NICK SAID.
"O_O" ME AND JAMEZ SAID.
"LISTEN. THIS IS A NO HOMO COMMUNITY." ZIRO SAYS. "I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU IF YOU-HEY! ITS YOU TWO FROM NR! SHIDO AND JAMEZ!"
"FUCK" I SAID.
"OH WAIT, NO IT ISNT BECAUSE SHIDO AND JAMEZ NEVER WEAR RED SHIRTS. MOVE ALONG." ZIRO SAID.
"ANOTHER VILLAIN FOOLED BY MY EXTREME INTELELVISION." JAMEZ SAID.
"ANYWAYS-I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU IF YOU COME ON TO ME AGAIN" ZIRO SAID.
"NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST" NICK SAID PUNCHING ZIRO.
"NICK! W! T! F!?!?!?!?!?!?" JAMEZ SAID.
"GUYS, WE CANT HIDE LIKE PUSSIES. LETS SHOW THESE SWC GUYS WHOS BOSS" NICK SAID.
"NICK---PLEASE DONT DO THIS. I DONT WANNA BE STUCK WITH JAMEZ BY MYSELF AGAIN" I SAID.
"WHOAAAA" ZIRO SAID. "WTF..."
NICK PULLED OUT A GUN.
"NICK WHERED YOU GET THAT???" JAMEZ ASKED.
"IVE ALWAYS HAD THIS JAMEZ" NICK SAID.
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
AND NICK MISSED ZIRO.
"UH OH" NICK SAID
"RELOAD NICK!!!!!!! RELOAD FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!" JAMEZ SAID.
ZIRO GOT UP AND THREW NICK DOWN THE STREET.
ZIRO FLEW UP INTO THE AIR, AND CRASHED DOWN ON NICK.
"JAMEZ WE CANT LET NICK DIE. WE HAVE TO FIGHT ZIRO." I SAID.
"ALRIGHT! TEAMWORK!" JAMEZ SAID.
I PULLED OUT THE GOLDEN SWORD.
ZIRO PICKED NICK UP AGAIN, AND ZIROS HAND CAUGHT ON FIRE. IT LOOKED LIKE ZIROS HAND WAS CHARGING SOMETHING UP.
"FIRE?!" I SAID.
SUDDENLY THE SWORD FLASHED A GIANT BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT.
WHEN THE LIGHT FADED, THE SWORD TURNED RED, AND FIRE BLASTED OUT OF IT. I FELL BACK ONTO THE GROUND AND I HAD LOST GRIP ON THE SWORD, AS IT SPUN OUT OF CONTROL.
ZIRO EVADED THE FIRE, BUT LOST HIS CHARGE. NICK CRAWLED AWAY FROM ZIRO AS FAST AS HE COULD.
WHEN THE SWORD STOPPED, ME, JAMEZ, AND ZIRO RACED FOR IT. BUT ZIRO WAS FASTER, AND HE PICKED IT UP AND SLASHED JAMEZ CHEST.
"OWOWOWOW" JAMEZ SAID FALLING TO THE GROUND.
"ICE" ZIRO SAID.
A GIANT WHITE FLASH APPEARED AGAIN, AND BEFORE I KNEW IT I SAW ZIRO STICKING THE SWORD IN THE GROUND AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME STARTING FREEZING. JAMEZ AND NICK FROZE, BUT I JUMPED AND WAS SPARED. ZIRO TOOK THE SWORD OUT OF THE GROUND, AND EVERYTHING THAWED AND BECAME NORMAL, BUT THE PEOPLE WERE PARALYZED AT FIRST FROM THE SHEER COLD, I ASSUMED.
"WATER" ZIRO SAID.
ANOTHER WHITE FLASH HAPPENED, AND THE TOWN WAS FLOODED.
"WUTS GOING ON??" I SAID.
ZIRO CAME SHREDDING THROUGH THE WATER, AND SLASHED AT MY HEAD LIKE IT WAS A GOLF BALL. HE MISSED, LUCKILY FOR ME. THE WATER DISSAPEARED AND ZIRO SAID "EARTH" AND ANOTHER FUCKING WHITE FLASH CAME.
THIS TIME GIANT BOULDERS STARTED FALLING ON US. I TRIED TO EVADE ALL THE ONES I COULD, BUT I EVENTUALLY GOT HIT AND FELL.
ZIRO WALKED UP TO ME WITH THE SWORD. HE RAISED UP THE SWORD AND I WATCHED, UNABLE TO DEFEND MYSELF.
BUT THEN NICK CAME UP BEHIND ZIRO AND HIT HIM WITH A FRYING PAN. ZIRO STUMBLED AND DROPPED THE SWORD. NICK PICKED IT UP. ZIRO CAME BACK AROUND AND ROUND HOUSE KICKED NICK.
"OW...LETS SEE HERE.." NICK SAID. "EARTH!"
NOTHING HAPPENED.
"LOLNOOB" ZIRO SAID.
ZIRO FLIPPED NICK.
"CRAP' NICK SAID.
BUT HE WOULDNT LET GO OF THE SWORD.
"SHIDO, DO THE FIRE THING AGAIN!" NICK SAID.
HE SLID THE SWORD ACROSS THE GROUND AND ZIRO FOLLOWED IT ALMOST MINDLESSLY. I GOT THE SWORD FIRST THOUGH. I WAS WORN OUT AND HURT, BUT UNDER MY BREATH I SAID "FIRE"
AND THAT WHITE FLASH CAME AND FIRE SHOT OUT OF THE SWORD. THIS TIME I HELD ONTO THE SWORD TIGHT. THE FIRE BLASTED ZIRO FAR UP INTO THE SKY. ZIRO CAME FALLING BACK DOWN, AND CRASHED BACK INTO THE GROUND. I WAS TOO TIRED TO FINISH OFF ZIRO. INSTEAD I PASSED OUT.
THE LAST THING I HEARD WAS NICK SAYING "SHIDO-NO..."
I WOKE UP BEHIND SOME SORT OF BUILDING. JAMEZ AND NICK WERE THERE, UNCONSCIOUS. ALSO SOME WOMAN WAS THERE. WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE I DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER WOMEN EXISTED.
"HEY WT-" I SAID.
"SHHH!" SHE SAID.
SHE WAS DEFINATLY YOUNG. LIKE MAYBE NICK YOUNG. AND SHE WAS PRETTY HOT (Thats how you know this storys fiction when a girl from FC is hot).
SHE WAS LOOKING OVER THE CORNOR OF THE BUILDING.
I LOOKED TOO.
I SAW SUNNY RK AND ZIRO STANDING THERE. ZIRO LOOKED LIKE HE HAD BEEN RECOVERED. SUNNY LOOKED OVER IN OUR DIRECTION AND WE BOTH HID BEHIND THE BUILDING AGAIN. SUNNY DIDNT SEE US APPARENTLY, BECAUSE HE DIDNT COME AFTER US. BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER IF SUNNY WAS JUST FUCKING WITH US, AND SAVING US FOR A BETTER FIGHT.
AFTER A WHILE SHE SAID "OKAY, THEY'RE GONE"
"OKAY." I SAID. "NOW WHO ARE YOU"
"YOU DONT REMEMBER ME?" SHE SAID.
"UH-NOO...." I SAID.
"IM AJS DAUGHTER" SHE SAID.
"AJ HAD A DAUGHTER? I THOUGHT HE WAS A VIRGIN, I MEAN HE WAS A PS3 FANBOY SO IT ALL ADDED UP"
"NOPE." SHE SAID.
"SO WHY DONT YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME IS?" I SAID.
"FINE. IF YOU REALLY CANT REMEMBER ME (EVEN THOUGH WEVE MET LIKE 50 TIMES) MY NAME IS NINTENDOGIRL." SHE SAID.
"I CAN CALL YOU NG RIGHT?" I SAID.
")_) SURE" NG SAID.
JAMEZ FINALLY CAME TO.
"WOW NINTENDOGIRL IS THAT RLY YOU" JAMEZ SAID. "I THOUGHT YOU DIED :/"
"HI JAMEZ" SHE SAID. "NO I DIDNT DIE"
"SORRY ABOUT UR FATHER" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH, ITS ALL JAMEZ FAULT HE DIED" I SAID.
"SFDAFHNPJSDAFGNPJSADFNIOPSDGNA " JAMEZ SAID.
"NO, ITS MY FAULT HE DIED ACTUALLY" NG SAID.
"SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" ME AND JAMEZ SAID.
"YES. WELL AS YOU TWO CAN IMAGINE, NR WAS IN PRETTY BAD STATE. I DECIDED TO GO OVER TO MT, AND TRY TO START A NEW LIFE THERE BEFORE NR LOST. I SOON LEARNED ABOUT MTS ATTACK ON NR." NG SAID. "I TRIED TO TELL MY FATHER, BUT HE DIDNT LISTEN TO ME AND SAID I WAS LIEING, SO I JUST THOUGHT THAT HE GETS WHAT HE GETS. BUT I DIDNT KNOW THE WHOLE COUNTRY WOULD HAVE BEEN DOOMED OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING."
"CONGRATULATIONS JAMEZ, WE NOW KNOW IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT" I SAID.
"YES IT WAS MY FAULT NG JUST MADE AN HONEST MISTAKE IS ALL" JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY JAMEZ DONT GO OVERBOARD WITH THE BRAGGING-WAIT WHAT" I SAID.
"YEAH, SHIDO. YOU SHOULDNT GO AROUND POINTING FINGERS AT PPL I DONT THINK ITS RIGHT" JAMEZ SAID. "I TAKE FULL BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED."
"WOW JAMEZ YOURE JUST AS HONORABLE AND MODEST AS I REMEMBER." NG SAID.
"OH, BULL. SHIT." I SAID. "NG, LISTEN. THIS GUY AS BEEN YELLING HIS ASS OFF THAT IT WASNT HIS FAULT, AND HES MEAN TO EVERYONE, AND HES A COWARD, AND DOESNT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING."
"WOW SHIDO YOU HAVE RLY TURNED INTO A LITTLE BITCH HAVENT YOU" NG SAID.
"NO! NO THATS NOT FAIR! IM THE HONORABLE AND HONEST ONE HERE! NOT HIM!" I SAID.
"YEAH NG HE'S RIGHT. I RLY HAVE DONE NOTHING" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ STOP, YOU DONT HAVE TO PRETEND YOURE NOTHING SO SHIDO CAN FEEL BETTER." NG SAID.
"THATS IT" I SAID. "NICK. WAKE UP!"
"HEY, HES RESTING SHIDO!" NG SAID. "I DONT THINK I LIKE THE NEW YOU"
"YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT" I SAID.
"SO WHATS BEEN GOING ON NG?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"WELL, NOTHING REALLY, IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU GUYS ACTUALLY. THERES BIG WORD THAT YOU GUYS SURVIVED." NG SAID.
"YEAH, WE FOUGHT OUR WAY THROUGH AS MANY AS WE COULD-"
"WE STAYED IN A MCDONALDS WHILE NR BURNED TO THE GROUND, UNDER YOUR LEADERSHIP, THANK YOU." I SAID.
"WELL, JAMEZ YOU REALLY NEED TO HELP ME. SEE...IM SORT OF IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAYOR OF RIKSBLOG, AND I TRIED DUMPING HIM, AND THEN HE TRIED KILLING ME." NG SAID.
"MAYOR OF RIKSBLOG?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"HIS NAME IS WOLFIE." NG SAID. "AND I WANT OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS THIS STUPID GOLDEN ARROW OR SOMETHING, AND WHEN WE WERE IN BED HE CALLED OUT FOR GOLDEN ARROW."
"GOLDEN ARROW?" I SAID. "JAMEZ-"
"I KNOW SHIDO. IVE ALWAYS KNOWN WOLFIE WAS THE KEY TO THE GOLDEN ARROW." JAMEZ SAID.
"BULL. FUCKING. SHIT." I SAID.
"GOLDEN ARROW?" NG SAID.
"I'LL EXPLAIN, NG. YOU SEE BACK IN 2005, MARIO, BRAD PITT, AND GOD RULED DETROIT AND GOD GAVE THEM THREE GOLDEN WEAPONS. GOD GOT THE GOLDEN ARROW, BRAD PITT GOT THE GOLDEN GAMECUBE CONTROLLER, MARIO GOT THE GOLDEN STAR, AND SHIDO GOT THE GOLDEN SWORD. THEN BRAD PITT KILLED GOD AND ATE THE ARROW SO NOW WE HAVE TO FIND BRAD PITT AND GET THE ARROW OUT OF HIS SHIT, BECAUSE WHEN ALL 4 WEAPONS ARE COMBINED AN AMERICAN VERSION OF MARIO AND WARIO WILL COME OUT"
"ARE YOU SRS?" NG SAID.
"NG-" I SAID.
"YES AND WE NEED TO HURRY BECAUSE SUNNY WANTS THE COPY ALL TO HIMSELF. HE WONT EVEN LET HIS BROTHER PLAY" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHATS...GOING ON...?" NICK SAID.
"GOOD! NICK! NICK TELL NG HOW IM A HERO AND JAMEZ ISNT!" I SAID.
"HEY SHIDO. I DO STUFF TOO, OKAY?" NICK SAID.
"OH FUCK THIS TEAM" I SAID.
"SHIDO? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT MARIO AND WARIO? LETS GO!" NG SAID.
"I-ER-WHATEVER" I SAID.
----
WE ARRIVED AT WOLFIE'S OFFICE.
"BABE GUESS WHAT THE GOLDEN ARROW IS GREAT IN BED" WOLFIE SAID.
"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH AN ARROW?" NG SAID.
"LISTEN SCUMBAG" JAMEZ SAID. "WHERE IS THE ARROW."
"NOT ALLOWED TO TELL. I CAN ONLY TELL THE CHOSEN ANGEL, AND THE CHOSEN ANGEL MUST PROVE HIMSELF IN A FIGHT, AND HE MUST HAVE ATLEAST TWO OF THE GOLDEN ITEMS." WOLFIE SAID.
"WELL THEN WE'LL FIND THIS ANGEL, AND BRING HIM HERE" I SAID.
"SHIDO. NO. WERE NOT GIVING INTO THE DEMANDS OF DIRT LIKE HIM." JAMEZ SAID.
"ACTUALLY JAMEZ I THINK THEIR DEMANDS OF GOD" NICK SAID.
"WELL-FINE. WE'LL DO WHAT SHIDO SAID." JAMEZ SAID. "BUT YOU AND NG ARE OVER"
"THATS COOL WITH ME" WOLFIE SAID. "I GOT ARROW"
"COME ON NG, LETS GO" JAMEZ SAID.
"NICK" I SAID. "LETS GET OUT OF HERE. WE GOT THE SWORD, AND WE DONT NEED JAMEZ. WE'LL FIND "IZZY" AND JOIN UP WITH HIM."
"NO..." NICK SAID. "WE COULD USE THE EXTRA HELP, YOU KNOW?"
"YOU WANT TO GET LAID BY NG DONT YOU"
"KIND OF"
"OKAY, WE'LL STAY WITH THEM I GUESS" I SAID.
I STAYED BECAUSE I KNEW IF I WENT OFF BY MYSELF WITH THE SWORD, ID DIE IN A MATTER OF DAYS.
"OKAY GUYS...WHERE WOULD A CHOSEN SAVIOR BE?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"ONE CAN ONLY WONDER" I SAID. "WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA. IF WE FIND THIS MARTAN GUY, WE CAN FIND THE CHOSEN ONE, RIGHT?"
"EXCELLENT IDEA, SHIDO." JAMEZ SAID.
"WOW JAMEZ UR SO KIND" NG SAID.
"NO HES NOT" NICK SAID. "HES MEAN TO EVERYONE!"
"THANK YOU NICK. FUCKING THANK YOU/" I SAID. "YOU KNOW ZEN ACTUALLY LEFT OUR GROUP. LEFT OUR GROUP, BECAUSE OF THIS MAN. LEFT. OUR. GROUP."
"SHIDO REALLY, DONT POINT FINGERS. ZEN LEFT TO FIND HIMSELF." JAMEZ SAID.
"FUCK YOU, JAMEZ. SRSLY." I SAID.
"IM GONNA GO INSIDE AND GET YOU GUYS SOME FOOD. YOU LOOK LIEK YOU NEED IT." NG SAID.
SHE WENT INSIDE A WALMART.
"LISTEN YOU TWO" JAMEZ SAID. "EVER SINCE AJ INTRODUCED ME TO HIS DAUGHTER I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET INSIDE HER. AND IM NOT GONNA LET TWO ASIANS COME IN AND RUIN THAT. SO SHUT UP AND BEHAVE."
"NO" NICK SAID. "THAT GURL IS MINE."
"IDC ABOUT HER. THERES ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME." I SAID. "MOM....IF I ONLY KNEW WHERE YOU WERE NOW..."
NG CAME BACK OUT.
"GUYS WE HAVE TO LEAVE. SWC WAS IN THE WALMART." NG SAID.
"SO?" JAMEZ SAID. "THEY CANT SEE US"
"YEAH WE CAN" RK SAID FROM INSIDE THE WALMART.
"...RUN" I SAID.
WE ALL BOLTED AS FAST AS WE COULD OUT OF RIKSBLOG.

WE FINALLY MADE IT BACK INTO THE WOODS.
"GUYS, SWCS STILL FOLLOWING US" NICK SAID.
"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK" JAMEZ SAID.
"NICK THINK OF SOMETHING" I SAID.
"I GOT IT." NICK SAID. "LETS HIDE"
"YES" JAMEZ SAID. "OKAY EVERYONE FIND A HIDING SPOT."
I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO HIDE. I DECIDED TO CLIMB A TREE AND WAIT UP THERE. NICK HID IN A BUSH, NG IN ANOTHER TREE, AND JAMEZ HID IN A PILE OF LEAVES.
EVENTUALLY SUNNY, RK, AND ZIRO GOT TO WHERE WE WERE.
"I SWEAR I SAW THEM STOP HERE" ZIRO SAID.
"YEAH THEY DID." RK SAID. "THEY MUST BE HIDING"
"WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS" SUNNY SAID. "CALL IN OUR SECOND TEAM"
"SECOND TEAM?!?!?!?!" JAMEZ SAID. "UH-I MEAN-OINK."
"WTF" ZIRO SAID.
"DONT BOTHER ZIRO, JUST CALL IN THE TEAM" SUNNY SAID. "SINCE YOU GUYS CAN HEAR US ANYWAYS, IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU, WERE ON OUR WAY TO THE GOLDEN ARROW. WE BEAT IT OUT OF WOLFIE."
"YEAH GUYS" RK SAID.
"ALRIGHT THEY'RE COMING" ZIRO SAID.
"K, LETS GO" SUNNY SAID.
AND THEY LEFT.
"SHOULD WE MO-" NICK SAID.
"RIGHT HERE!" A VOICE SAID.
3 GUYS FELL FROM THE SKY.
"ALRIGHT GUYS WE HAVE TO FIND THESE NRERS" ONE SAID. HE SEEMED LIKE THE LEADER.
"YEAH, NO SHIT MASTER." ONE SAID. HE SEEMED LIKE THE ZEN.
"IT WONT BE HARD. JAMEZ IS RETARDED." ...IT WAS HYPER!
"OH FUCK YOU HYPER" JAMEZ SAID.
"HE'S IN THE PILE OF LEAVES" HYPER SAID.
"OH GOD DAMMIT" JAMEZ SAID.
"MUSIC, GO GET HIM" MASTER SAID.
THESE GUYS COULDNT BE THAT GOOD AT FIGHTING BECAUSE THEY WERE THE SECOND TEAM. THEY DIDNT SCARE ME LIKE RK, ZIRO, AND SUNNY DID.
"GOT HIM" MUSIC SAID.
"ANY SECOND NOW NICK, SHIDO, AND NG ARE GONNA JUMP OUT AND OWN YOU FUCKERS! HAHAHA YOU JUST WATCH!" JAMEZ SAID.
NO ONE DID ANYTHING.
"GUYS?" JAMEZ SAID. "OH FUCK ALL OF YOU"
"DOES HE HAVE THE SWORD?" MASTER SAID.
"I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU?" MUSIC ASKED.
"THATS FOR ME TO KNOW, AND YOU TO FIND OUT" JAMEZ SAID.
"KILL HIM" MASTER SAID.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH JAMEZ SUCKED AS A LEADER, I COULDNT JUST DO NOTHING AND LET HIM DIE. IT WAS A DESCISION I WOULD LATER REGRET.
I JUMPED DOWN FROM THE TREE AND KICKED MUSIC.
"WOW THANKS SHIDO" JAMEZ SAID.
"SHIDO?" MASTER SAID. "SO THIS IS HIM?"
"YEAH THIS IS SHIDO" HYPER SAID.
"FUNNY, I PICTURED YOU TO BE WHITE" MASTER SAID.
"OOOOOH NO YOU'RE IN FOR IT NOW" JAMEZ SAID. "SHIDO, ATTACK"
I PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
"THERE" MASTER SAID.
MUSIC PUNCHED ME AND TOOK THE SWORD.
"HOW THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE GET OUR SWORD??!" JAMEZ SAID.
MUSIC CAME BACK AROUND AND GRABBED JAMEZ.
"OKAY" MUSIC SAID. "NOW ALL OF YOU COME OUT OR THIS FAG DIES"
"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A THREAT" NICK SAID.
"NICK JUST COME ON...." I SAID.
NICK AND NG CAME OUT.
"OKAY, NOW YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE" MASTER SAID. "EXCEPT SHIDO. SHIDO GOES WITH US."
"WHY?" I ASKED.
"WE ARE INTERESTED IN YOU" MASTER SAID.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY JUST KILL HIM" MASTER SAID.
BUT MUSIC DIDNT HAVE TIME TO KILL JAMEZ BECAUSE TWO GRENADES DROPPED FROM THE SKY.
"WTF?" HYPER SAID.
AND THEN THEY BLEW UP.
BUT THEY WERE JUST SMOKES.
JAMEZ ELBOWED MUSIC OFF OF HIM.
"DAMMIT" I HEARD MUSIC SAY.
I COULD BARELY SEE ANYTHING. ALL I COULD SEE WAS JAMEZ AND THAT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME. MUSIC TOOK THE SWORD AND TRIED TO STAB JAMEZ, BUT JAMEZ PUNCHED HIM. JAMEZ SNATCHED THE SWORD FROM HIS HANDS.
ALL OF A SUDDEN I GOT PUNCHED. I BLACKED OUT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN GOT BACK UP. IT WAS JUST FOGGY NOW BUT I COULD SEE MASTER KICKING JAMEZ ASS.
I TRIED TO HELP JAMEZ, BUT MASTER JUST KNOCKED ME DOWN AGAIN. THEN MASTER PUNCHED JAMEZ IN THE FACE AND JAMEZ LOST GIP ON THE SWORD. THE SWORD FLEW INTO THE FOG. MASTER RAN AFTER IT LIKE A SHEEP.
BUT MASTER CAME FLYING BACK AND LANDED RIGHT NEXT TO ME. IZZY APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME WITH THE SWORD. I REALIZED THAT HE THREW THE SMOKES. HE HELPED ME GET UP.
"WHOA THANKS IZZY" I SAID.
"EVERYBODY GETS ONE" IZZY SAID.
IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE HE ACTED AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ZEN.
IZZY GAVE ME THE SWORD.
"I TRUST YOU WITH THIS" HE SAID.
THEN IZZY JUMPED UP INTO THE SKY AND DISAPEARED INTO IT.
THE FOG CLEARED AND I SAW THE RESULTS OF THE BATTLE.
NICK AND NG WERE PASSED OUT ON THE GROUND. MUSIC BARELY PULLED HIMSELF UP AND MASTER JUMPED RIGHT BACK UP.
HYPER HAD APPARENTLY BEAT NICK AND NG.
"WERE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT THE SWORD OR SHIDO" MASTER SAID. "IVE NEVER FAILED SUNNY BEFORE AND IM NOT STARTING TODAY"
JAMEZ GOT UP.
IF ME AND JAMEZ RAN AWAY NOW WED BE LEAVING BEHIND NG AND NICK, AND I COULDNT JUST DO THAT.
"FIRE" I SAID.
A GIANT WHITE FLASH APPEARED, AND THE SWORD BEGAN SHOOTING OUT FIRE.
MUSIC AND HYPER BEGAN FLYING BACK FROM THE FORCE, AND MASTER JUMPED AND HUNG ONTO A TREE BRANCH EVADING IT.
WHEN THE FIRE ENDED, MUSIC AND HYPER WERE TOO WEAK TO GET BACK UP, AND MASTER JUMPED DOWN FROM THE TREE. HE STARTED WALKING TO ME AND JAMEZ.
"....UH...FIRE" I SAID.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
"DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT" MASTER SAID.
"EARTH...WATER....ANYTHING?!" I SAID.
"HOLY SHIT SHIDO YOU SUCK LOLD HARD" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ HES GONNA KILL YOU IF I FAIL" I SAID.
"OMG" JAMEZ SAID. "RUN!"
"JAMEZ NO-NICK AND NG-" I SAID.
"WHO CARES?!" JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ RAN OFF.
MASTER WAS ALMOST TO ME.
I DECIDED TO JUST FIGHT HIM AND IF I WENT DOWN I WENT DOWN FIGHTING. YES, AS SOON AS HE GOT CLOSE ENOUGH ID KICK HIM IN THE BALLS. YES, IT WAS EXCITING.
THEN I REALIZED. WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO ME WHEN THEY CAPTURE ME? BRAINWASH ME WITH THIER CRIMINAL MINDS? OR WORSE TORTURE. I IMAGED EVERY POSSIBLE TORTURE. RIPPING MY ARMS OFF AND THEN BEATING ME UP WITH THEM, DRILLING INTO MY STOMACH, OR WORSE...MAKING ME BECOME FRIENDS WITH SONIC2CHAOS. I DECIDED THAT IF I AM GOING TO BE TORTURED I WILL KILL MYSELF BEFORE THEY CAN DO SO.
BUT THEN I DECIDED FUCK NICK AND NG IM GONNA THINK ABOUT MYSELF FOR ONCE.
BUT BEFORE I COULD RUN, IZZY JUMPED FROM THE BUSHES, AND KICKED MASTER INTO A TREE. MASTER WENT DOWN.
"THOUGHT YOU MAY NEED SOME EXTRE HELP" IZZY SAID.
"THANKS IZZY" I SAID.
"EVERY BODY GETS ONE" IZZY SAID.
"BUT...YOU JUST GAVE ME MY ONE" I SAID.
"WELL I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THIS IS TECHNICALLY STILL YOUR ONE" IZZY SAID.
"NO BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID I NEEDED 'EXTRA' HELP, THUS MY ONE ALREADY ENDED." I SAID.
"FUCKING TAKE THE FAVOR ASSTARD" IZZY SAID. AND THEN HE DISAPPEARED INTO THE SKY AGAIN.
I PICKED UP NG AND NICK AND CARRIED THEM TO WHERE JAMEZ RAN OFF TO.
---
I FINALLY MADE IT TO A SMALL TOWN CALLED ARCADE. BARELY ANYONE LIVED THERE. I SAW JAMEZ STANDING THERE.
"'BOUT TIME YOU MADE IT HERE." HE SAID. "YOU'RE TOO SLOW."
"SORRY, I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO AFFORD ECSTASY UNLIKE YOU" I SAID.
"HEYEHEYEHEYEHEYEHEYEHEY" JAMEZ SAID. "THAT WAS OUR SECRET REMEMBER?"
NG WOKE UP.
"UGH...IM ALIVE?" SHE SAID.
"YES." JAMEZ SAID. "I SAVED YOU."
"BULL SHIT" I SAID. "YOU RAN AWAY. YOU WERE GONNA LET HER DIE"
"OMG SHIDO YOUR LYING IS GETTING OLD. REALLY." JAMEZ SAID. "ITS TIME TO MATURE NOW."
"I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS RIGHT HERE" I SAID.
"GUYS LETS JUST STOP THIS. THERES NO NEED TO FIGHT BECAUSE JAMEZ IS A HERO AND SHIDO ISNTR" NG SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT GIRL I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART" I SAID.
"SHE WAS DATING WOLFIE HOW SMART CAN SHE BE" JAMEZ SAID.
"EXCUSE ME GUYS" SOME GUY SAID.
HE WAS WEARING A COAT AND HAT. COULDNT SEE HIS FACE.
"HES IN SWC, HES DISGUISING HIMSELF FOR A SNEAK ATTACK!" I SAID.
"TRY TO SNEAK ATTACK ME WILL YEAH?" JAMEZ SAID. "WELL TAKE THIS YA LITTLE BASTARD"
JAMEZ TRIED TO PUNCH HIM BUT HE GRABBED JAMEZ ARM AND THREW JAMEZ ON THE GROUND.
"NG, HE OBVIOUSLY HAS THE POWER OF THE STAR ROD ON HIS SIDE" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH SHUT UP JAMEZ" I SAID.
"I DONT WANT TO FIGHT YOU" THE GUY SAID. "IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOREVER. I HAVE TO HIDE SO SWC WONT SEE ME"
"THIS IS IT!" JAMEZ SAID. "YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ANGEL! I KNOW IT!"
"NOT EXACTLY" THE MAN SAID.
HE TOOK OFF HIS HAT.
IT WAS CHEF!
"CHEF, HOLY SHIT" I SAID.
"ARENT YOU LIKE...DEAD?" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH SUNNY KILLED YOU" I SAID.
"SUNNY TRIED TO KILL ME, BUT WHEN HE REALIZED HE COULDNT HE SENT ME INTO A PORTAL. I ESCAPED TO FIND NR DESTROYED. DAMN I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME, I JUST DIDNT KNOW THIS SOON." CHEF SAID.
"CHEF WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I SAID.
"A LONG TIME AGO THERE WERE THREE ANG-" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH. WE KNOW THAT STORY." JAMEZ SAID.
"OH. WELL THEN. I GUESS I SHOULD COME RIGHT OUT AND JUST TELL YOU THIS" CHEF SAID. "I'M MARTAN"
"WHAT?" ME AND JAMEZ SAID.
"YES, I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN." CHEF SAID. "GOD TOLD ME THAT THERE WOULD BE A DAY WHEN BRADLEY WOULD RISE AGAIN, AND I JOINED NR TO STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING...BUT I COULDNT."
"WAIT..." I SAID. "SO IS SUNNY..BRADLEY?"
"...." CHEF SAID. "I HONESTLY DONT KNOW. IF IT IS HE DEFINATLY CHANGED HIS APPEARANCE."
"WAIT CHEF" JAMEZ SAID. "WHOS THE CHOSEN ANGEL?"
"I....I DONT KNOW THAT EITHER" CHEF SAID.
"THEN FLY TO GOD AND ASK HIM" JAMEZ SAID.
"IT DOESNT EXACTLY WORK LIKE THAT JAMEZ" CHEF SAID. "THE LAST TIME I SAW GOD HE SAID I HAD TO FIND YOU GUYS AND THE FATE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO EARTH WAS UP TO ME."
"CHEF YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ALL OUR QUESTIONS" JAMEZ SAID. "WHY DID SUNNY TRY TO KILL YOU?"
"ISNT IT OBVIOUS?" CHEF SAID. "IM AN ANGEL. ID GET IN HIS WAY"
"WELL LETS GO KICK HIS ASS RIGHT NOW" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ, I COULD BARELY DEFEAT SUNNY BACK THEN" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH BUT NOW YOU GOT US WITH YOU" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES BUT IM SURE SUNNY HAS HIS GUYS TOO, WHICH WILL TAKE YOU GUYS OUT IN SECONDS RIGHT? AND THEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THEM." CHEF SAID. "SWC IS TOO POWERFUL. OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO FIND THE CHOSEN ANGEL."
"WHY WOULD GOD NOT TELL ANYONE?" I ASKED. "WOULDNT HE WANT THE CHOSEN ONE TO STEP UP?"
"I GUESS JUST TO MAKE THE CHOSEN ONE FEEL NORMAL. I MEAN, IMAGINE GOING THROUGH YOUR LIFE KNOWING YOU'RE GOING TO SAVE EARTH ONE DAY. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE PAPARAZZI? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MANY ATTEMPTS THERE WOULD BE TO ASSASSINATE YOU? BUT ULTIMATLY I THINK IT WAS BECAUSE IF BRADLEY KNEW WHO THE CHOSEN ONE WAS, HE'D GO A CRUSH HIM AS SOON AS HE WAS BORN." CHEF SAID,
"CHEF, DO YOU HAVE THE GOLDEN ARMOR?" I ASKED.
"SADLEY, NO. SUNNY TOOK THAT AFTER HE SENT ME INTO THE PORTAL." CHEF SAID. "AND THEY KILLED RIK DIDN'T THEY?"
"R-RIK?" I ASKED.
"YEAH, HOLDER OF THE GOLDEN SWORD." CHEF SAID.
"HIS NAMES RIK??? I CALLED HIM SNAKE. BUT YEAH THEY DID" I SAID.
"SO THEY HAVE THE SWORD TOO.." CHEF SAID.
"NO, I DO" I SAID. I PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
"SHIDO! YES! THIS IS GREAT!" CHEF SAID. "LET ME HAVE IT"
I GAVE HIM THE SWORD.
"I'LL HOLD ON TO THIS. ALRIGHT GUYS?" CHEF SAID.
WE ALL SAID YES, BECAUSE CHEF WAS MOST LIKELY TO SURVIVE.
"CHEF THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING AFTER THE GOLDEN ARROW" I SAID.
"HMM...I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS. NO ONE DOES." CHEF SAID.
"WOLFIE SAID HES THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS" JAMEZ SAID.
"BULL SHIT. GOD DIDNT TELL ANYONE" CHEF SAID.
"NOTE TO SELF KICK WOLFIES ASS LATER" JAMEZ SAID.
"BUT GOD DID LEAVE CLUES. 7 CLUES. A CLUE IN EACH CONTINENT." CHEF SAID. "THEY'RE RIDDLES. FIND AND FIGURE OUT EACH RIDDLE AND THEN SOLVE THE FINAL RIDDLE WITH ALL THE ANSWERS."
"DO YOU THINK SWC SOLVED IT THAT FAST?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"JAMEZ" I SAID. "THEY HAVE RK. OF COURSE THEY DID."
"WELL SWC SHOULD NO THAT THEY CANT EVEN GET THE ARROW WITH HAVING THE CHOSEN ONE AND HE HAS TO HAVE ATLEAST 2 OF THE 4 GOLDEN ITEMS." CHEF SAID. "SO I THINK WE SHOULD BE FINE FOR A WHILE"
"WELL I THINK ITS TIME TO SOLVE THAT RIDDLE" JAMEZ SAID. "WHICH CONTINENT SHALL WE HIT FIRST?"
"HOLD IT THERE JAMEZ" CHEF SAID. "WERE GONNA NEED A LOT OF THINGS. WERE GONNA NEED A BOAT FOR ONE..."
"BOAT? WHY NOT A PLANE?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"BECAUSE, SWC AND MT PRACTICALLY RUN THIS WORLD NOW. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO LAND A PLANE WITHOUT GETTING SHOT?" CHEF SAID. "WITH BOATS WE CAN SNEAK PAST THE DOCKING."
"MAKES SENSE" I SAID.
"WERE ALSO GOING TO NEED FOOD, FRESH WATER, AND NINTENDO DS'S BECAUSE THE BOAT RIDES WILL BE LONG AND WE WILL MOST LIKELY BE SEATED NEXT TO A SCREAMING BABY" CHEF SAID.
NICK WOKE UP.
"GUYS WHAT HAPPENED..?" HE ASKED.
WE TOLD HIM.
"OKAY WE'LL GET ALL THAT STUFF BUT HOW?" NICK SAID.
"THAT WILL BE OUR FIRST PROBLEM." CHEF SAID.

TO GET OUR SUPPLIES, CHEF SPLIT US UP INTO GROUPS. NICK AND NG WENT TO GET THE FOOD, ME AND JAMEZ HAD TO GET THE BOAT, AND CHEF WENT OFF TO DO...WUTEVER,
I HAD PRETTY MUCH REALIZED THAT CHEF HAD TAKEN OVER AS LEADER.
"BOATS...WHERE WOULD I BE IF I WERE A BOAT?" JAMEZ SAID.
"A BOAT STORE?" I SAID.
"THATS GENIOUS." JAMEZ SAID. "BUT DOES ONE EXIST?"
"HMMM....LETS CHECK ONLINE" I SAID.
"WE HAVE NO COMPUTERS" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH THATS RIGHT." I SAID. "WE'LL GO TO THE LIBRARY"
"BUT WHERES A LIBRARY?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"WE'LL ASK" I SAID.
WE SAW A GUY WALKING DOWN THE STREET.
"HEY MOTHERFUCKER WHERES THE NEAREST LIBRARY" JAMEZ SAID.
"RIGHT BEHIND ME." THE GUY SAID.
"OCOOL" JAMEZ SAID.
"BUT YOU MUST DEFEAT ME IN A FIGHT TO GET IN" THE GUY SAID.
"WUT" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES, THAT'S RIGHT." THE GUY SAID. "I WILL FIGHT BOTH OF YOU 2 VS 1. DEFEAT ME AND I WILL LET YOU IN"
"EASY" I SAID.
"WE SHALL SEE" THE MAN SAID. "YOU SHALL SEE THE POWER OF MOONCHILD"
"MOONCHILD?" JAMEZ SAID. "I DONT FIGHT HOMOS"
"GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH" MOONCHILD SAID. "BUT YOU WILL HAVE NO CHANCE. FOR WHEN THE MOON IS OUT, I BECOME INVINCIBLE, OOZING WITH POWER. IF YOU EVEN TOUCH ME YOU WILL CATCH ON FIRE. AND A BLAST OF MY MOON SHINE WILL BLOWN YOU UP. SO. LETS FIGHT"
"ITS 2 PM." I SAID.
"....OH GOD DAMMIT" MOONCHILD SAID.
"LETS BEAT THIS BITCH UP" JAMEZ SAID.
"WAIT!" A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER CALLED OUT. "I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU MOONCHILD"
"WHO ARE YOU?" I ASKED.
"YOU CAN CALL ME SOCKPUPPET" HE SAID. "I PROTECT ALL MODS"
"WHY" JAMEZ ASKED.
"BECAUSE IM A DOUCHE LIKE THAT" SOCK SAID. "COME NEAR US OR THE LIBRARY AND I'LL HIT YOU WITH THIS SOCK."
"SRSLY?" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES. AND ITS VERY SMELLY." SOCKPUPPET SAID.
"FUCK THIS, CMON SHIDO LETS GO INSIDE." JAMEZ SAID.
WE WALKED PAST MOONCHILD AND SOCKPUPPET, AND SOCKPUPPET WHACKED JAMEZ A COUPLE TIMES WITH THE SOCK.
WE WALKED INSIDE AND SAW NO ONE IN THE LIBRARY EXCEPT THE LIBRARIAN.
"EXCUSE ME" I SAID. "DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER HERE"
"YES" SHE SAID.
SHE LOOKED SAID.
"WUTS WRONG" I SAID.
"NO SHIDO! NOW WERE GONNA BE STUCK HERE LISTENING TO THIS BITCH'S PROBLEMS" JAMEZ SAID.
"PEOPLE DONT READ BOOKS LIKE THEY USED TO" SHE SAID.
"OH" I SAID.
"WE USED TO HAVE CONTESTS FOR WHOEVER READ THE MOST BOOKS IN A MONTH. THE WINNER WOULD GET A BOAT" SHE SAID.
"NO FUCKING WAY" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH, BUT WE CANT HAVE THOSE CONTESTS ANYMORE BECAUSE NOBODY READS BOOKS ANYMORE" SHE SAID.
"WELL MISS-" I SAID.
"HIROKO" SHE SAID.
"HIROKO...THAT NAME SOUNDS FAMILIAR...BUT ANYWAYS- IF WE GOT YOU ENOUGH READERS, COULD WE HAVE A BOAT?" I ASKED.
"YES I HAVE LIKE FIFTY OF THEM" HIROKO SAID.
"K" I SAID.
"HEY ALL OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. READ. DROP EVERYTHING AND READ. UNLESS YOUR CARRYING A NUKE OR MOTION BOMB. HOLD ONTO IT AND READ. USE IT AS YOUR BOOKMARK OR SOMETHING." JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ, LEAVE THIS TO ME. HERES ONE QUARTER. GO BUY YOURSELF A GUMBALL FROM THE GUMBALL MACHINE" I SAID.
"YESSSSSSSS" JAMEZ SAID.
"ATTENTION EVERYONE" I SAID. "NOBODY IS READING. THIS IS BAD."
NO BODY CARED.
I SIGHED.
"SHIDOSHIDOSHIDO I GOT A RED ONE I GOT A RED ONE I WANT FUCKING GREEN" JAMEZ SAID.
HE THREW THE GUMBALL ON THE GROUND AND IT BOUNCED UP SO HIGH WE COULDNT EVEN SEE IT ANYMORE.
"WHOOOOA" A GUY SAID. "YOU BOUNCED THAT?"
"YEAH. I WANTED GREEN " JAMEZ SAID.
"I WILL PAY YOU 50 CENTS TO SEE YOU BOUNCE ANOTHER ONE" THE GUY SAID.
"WAIT...SHIDO I HAVE AN IDEA..." JAMEZ SAID.
"I THINK IM THINKING WHAT YOU'RE THINKING JAMEZ" I SAID.
"EVERYONE WILL WANNA SEE ME BOUNCE THE GUMBALLS..." JAMEZ SAID.
"YEEAHH..." I SAID.
"SO IN ORDER FOR THEM TO WATCH THEY HAVE TO...." JAMEZ SAID.
"YES....YES..!" I SAID.
"GO IN THE LIBRARY AND MURDER HIROKO SO WE CAN STEAL THE BOAT" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO JAMEZ, WE MAKE THEM READ FOR GUMBALLS" I SAID.
"...NO." JAMEZ SAID. "ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE ME BOUNCE ANOTHER GUMBALL GO MURDER THE LIBRARIAN INSIDE!"
EVERYONE RAN INSIDE AND WE HEARD SCREAMING AND PAIN.
THE EVERYONE WALKED OUT WITH BLOOD ON THIER SHIRTS.
"YEAH LETS GO GET THE BOAT" JAMEZ SAID.
WE GOT THE BOAT FROM THE LIBRARY. WE WERE WALKING BACK TO WHERE CHEF TOLD US ALL TO MEET.
"SHIDO DO PENGIONS HAVE FEELINGS" JAMEZ SAID.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" SOCKPUPPET SAID.
"DIDNT WE DEAL WITH YOU GUYS BEFORE" I SAID.
"I THINK YOU'LL FIND WEVE BEEN UPGRADED." SOCK SAID.
"SO WHAT YOU HAVE BEARDS NOW OR SOMETHING" JAMEZ SAID.
SUDDENLY I WAS ON THE GROUND. I HAD BEEN SHOCKED BY...A GIANT SOCK?
"MY SOCK HAS BEEN UPGRADED" SOCKPUPPET SAID.
"WTF HOW?" I ASKED.
"HE HAD HELP FROM ME" HYPER SAID.
"WTF" JAMEZ SAID.
HYPER PULLED OUT A GLOWING BALL.
"OLD SWC MAGIC" HE SAID.
HE CRUSHED THE BALL IN HIS HANDS.
MOONCHILD STEPPED FOWARD.
"MY POWERS NOW WORK IN THE SUN, AS WELL." MOONCHILD SAID.
"OH-OH GOD." JAMEZ SAID. "HOW WE GONNA FIGHT ALL OF THEM??"
"YOU CANT" SOCK SAID.
HE WHIPPED HIS SOCK AT US AGAIN, CRUSHING THE BOAT.
"DAMMIT SHE DIED FOR NOTHING" JAMEZ SAID. "HIROKO-FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"K LETS JUST FINISH THESE GUYS" HYPER SAID.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE"
IZZY FELL FROM THE TREES.
"I WONT LET THIS UNFAIR FIGHT TAKE PLACE." IZZY SAID.
"WTF" HYPER SAID. "K JUST KILL THEM."
IZZY TACKLED SOCK AND JAMEZ TOOK HYPER SO I GUESS I HAD TO TAKE MOONCHILD.
"TAKE A BLAST OF MY MOON SHINE" MOONCHILD SAID.
A GIANT RAY OF PURE ENERGY CAME OUT FROM HIS MOUTH.
DAMN HE COULD OPEN HIS MOUTH UP WIDE. THEN I REMEMBERED HE SUCKED HARD DICK.
"NONONONONONONONN" I SAID.
HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KILL HIM? HE COULDNT BE TOUCHED AT ALL.
I DODGED THE BLASTS OF ENERGY COMING FROM HIS MOUTH UNTIL I WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. IN A PURE DESPERATE ACT, I TOOK A STICK AND SHOVED IT INTO HIS STOMACH. WHEN HE STARTED BLEEDING I REALIZED THAT MOONCHILD WAS A DIRTY LIAR.
"OWWWWWW" MOONCHILD SAID. "OHOHOHOHOHHOHOHO"
MEANWHILE, JAMEZ AND HYPER WERE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACHOTHER. I FIGURED SINCE THEY HAD BEEN PRETTY GOOD FRIENDS, JAMEZ WAS STILL HAVING A HARD TIME FACING THE FACT THAT HYPER WAS NEVER HIS FIREND AND WAS USING HIM TO GET CLOSER TO NRS SECRET FILES AND WHATEVER.
FINALLY, JAMEZ KNOCKED HYPER ON THE GROUND.
"FINALLY" JAMEZ SAID. "I CAN KILL YOU"
"WELL OKAY JAMEZ" HYPER SAID. "YOU TRULY ARE THE-WOWOMG VIRUS"
AND HYPER THREW A STICKY THING AT JAMEZ FACE.
"AHHHHHHHHH" JAMEZ SAID. "I CANT SEE! I CANT SEE!!@!@!@!@!!!!!11!!!1"
"QUICK TEAR IT OFF OF HIM" I SAID.
"I CANT" IZZY SAID DODGING THE SOCK.
"DAMMIT" I SAID.
AS HYPER MADE HIS PUSSY ESCAPE, I WENT OVER TO TRY AND FREE JAMEZ. I TUGGED ON THE STICKY THING AND IT FINALLY RIPPED OFF JAMEZ FACE.
"FUCKING HYPER" JAMEZ SAID.
SOCKPUPPET THREW HIS SOCK DOWN AND SMASHED JAMEZ. IZZY JUMPED UP AND CUT SOCKS THROAT, ENDING HIM.
"GET THIS SOCK OFF ME" JAMEZ SAID.
ME AND IZZY ROLLED THE SOCK OFF JAMEZ.
"WELL THIS IS GREAT" I SAID. "NOW WE HAVE NO BOAT"
"HMM" IZZY SAID. "BOAT YOU SAY?"
"YES, WE NEED A BOAT" I SAID.
"WHY" IZZY ASKED.
"WELL IZZY, CHEF SAID WE NEEDED ONE TO SOLVE THESE 7 GAY RIDDLES OR SOMETHING" JAMEZ SAID.
"CHEF?" IZZY SAID.
"YEAH" JAMEZ SAID. "CHEF JOINED OUR TEAM. I MEAN HE MAKES ALL THE DECESIONS AND IS THE MOST POWERFUL ONE BUT, I STILL THINK OF MYSELF AS A LEADER"
"FINALLY" IZZY SAID. "I WANT TO JOIN UR GROUP"
"RLY? " JAMEZ SAID.
"YES" IZZY SAID.
"THATS GREAT, BUT WE STILL NEED A BOAT" I SAID.
"I WILL BE THE BOAT" IZZY SAID.
"WAIT-WHAT?" I SAID.
"YES." IZZY SAID. "I CAN FLOAT AND YOU CAN ALL FIT ON ME"
"WOW THIS IS AWESOME" JAMEZ SAID. "DUDE IZZY HOW COME IVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE"
"IVE BEEN AT WALMART" IZZY SAID.
"LETS GO TELL CHEF" I SAID.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" A GUY SAID.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU" I SAID.
"SWC"
"YEAH RIGHT. YOU GUYS ARE LIKE OUR AGE" JAMEZ SAID.
"WRONG." THE GUY SAID. "WELL, RIGHT, BUT WE ARE STILL STRONGER THAN YOU."
"HOW SO" I SAID.
"WE ARE SWC'S THIRD TEAM" THE GUY SAID.
"THIRD?" IZZY SAID.
"YES. WE SUC-I MEAN ARE THE BRAINS SO WE STAY AT THE BASE MOST OF THE TIME." THE GUY SAID. "I AM DACHAMP. THESE ARE ZERO AND JUSTIN."
"YES, WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU" JUSTIN SAID.
"YES" SAID ZERO. "FINALLY WE CAN PROVE TO THE OLDER KIDS THAT WE CAN BE AS TOUGH AS THEM"
"NO CUZ WERE SUPER TOUGH" JAMEZ SAID.
"WELL MOST OF US ARE" IZZY SAID.
"OH YEAH WELL LOOK WHAT WE FOUND IN SUNNYS ROOM" JUSTIN SAID.
HE PULLED OUT A GOLDEN SHIELD.
"THERE IT IS DUDE" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH THIS'LL BE EASY WE'LL JUST-" I SAID. "FUCK. CHEF HAS THE SWORD."
"WELL WHAT EXACTLY CAN THE GOLDEN SHIELD DO?" IZZY ASKED.
"NO IDEA" I SAID.
"SWC TEAM 3: ATTACK!" DACHAMP SAID.
THE TEAM SPLIT UP ATTACKING EACH OF US. JAMEZ WAS OUT ALMOST INSTANTLY AS JUSTIN SMASHED THE SHIELD AGAINST HIS FACE.
"OH FUCK" I SAID.
"YES, NOW YOU SEE OUR TRUE POWER" JUSTIN SAID.
"FINISH OFF THE FURRY ONE" DACHAMP SAID.
"OF COURSE" JUSTIN SAID.
ONCE AGAIN, IT WAS UP TO ME TO SAVE JAMEZ SINCE I KNEW IZZY WOULD DO NOTHING. BUT I WAS TOO DISTRACTED. DACHAMP WAS ATTACKING ME AND I NEEDED TO DEFEND MYSELF.
JUSTIN WAS ABOUT TO FINISH OFF JAMEZ WITH A FOOT TO THE HEAD. SUDDENLY, IZZY SWOOPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND GRABBED THE SHIELD OUT OF JUSTIN'S HANDS.
"YES" IZZY SAID.
"HEYYYY" JUSTIN SAID. "NOT FAIR"
IZZY SLAMMED THE SHIELD AGAINST JUSTIN'S FACE AND JUSTIN WENT FLYING.
"SHIDO WE GOT THE SHIELD!" IZZY SAID.
"NO YOU DONT" MASTER SAID.
HE SMASHED IZZY INTO A TREE AND TOOK THE SWORD.
"DACHAMP YOU IDIOT, YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS." MASTER SAID.
"WHAT?" DACHAMP SAID.
I USED DACHAMP'S DISTRACTION TO MY ADVANTAGE AND KICKED HIM OFF OF ME.
"GUYS, GET OUT OF HERE" MASTER SAID.
"BUT THE GAY ONE....JUSTIN GOT HIM DOWN" ZERO SAID.
"RLY? WOW COOL" MASTER SAID. "PICK HIM UP, WE'LL TAKE HIM BACK WITH US"
"NOOOOOOOO" I SAID. "ER WAIT YOU MEAN JAMEZ RIGHT? K TAKE HIM"
MASTER PICKED UP JAMEZ.
"HOLD IT" CHEF SAID. "YOU CANT TAKE OUR TEAMMATE"
"GOD DAMMIT WHERE ARE ALL THESE PPL COMING FROM" IZZY SAID.
"WTF I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" MASTER SAID.
"NOPE AND ITS TIME FOR YOU TO PUT DOWN JAMEZ" CHEF SAID.
"OKAY GOD" MASTER SAID.
HE PUT DOWN JAMEZ.
"GUYS LETS GTFO. I THINK SUNNY NEEDS THE NEWS" MASTER SAID.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING." CHEF SAID.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" MASTER SAID.
"YAWERE GONNA FIGHT" CHEF SAID.
"HEY, WEAK TEAM GET OUTTA HERE." MASTER SAID.
"WEAK TEAM?" ZERO SAID.
"ER-I MEAN YOUNG TEAM" MASTER SAID.
ZERO, DACHAMP, AND JUSTIN VANISHED INTO THE WOODS. I WONDERED WHAT KIND OF EPIC SHIT WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. THEN I WONDERED WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE IF CHEF FOUGHT SUNNY. OR IF WE EVEN MADE IT TO SUNNY FOR THAT MATTER.
CHEF PULLED OUT THE SWORD. FOR THE FIRST TIME I WONDERED WHY OTHERS COULD MAKE THE SWORD DO ONE THING AND OTHER COULD MAKE IT DO ANOTHER.
"RAIN" CHEF SAID.
WHITE FLASH. IT STARTED RAINING.
"WOW" I SAID. "THIS MOVE SUCKS"
"JUST WAIT SHIDO.." CHEF SAID.
MASTER TRIED TO PUNCH CHEF BUT HE MISSED. CHEF KICKED HIM BACK.
MASTER KEPT TRYING TO PUNCH CHEF BUT CHEF KEPT DODGING. MASTER TRIED TO KICK CHEF AND CHEF GRABBED HIS FOOT AND FLIPPED HIM OVER. IT WAS KIND OF COOL I GUESS.
"AW MAN WERE SOAKING WET" IZZY SAID.
"GOOD" CHEF SAID. "LIGHTNING"
WHITE FLASH. AS THE WHITE FLASH CLEARED I SAW THE WHOLE GOLDEN SWORD TURN INTO A GIANT BOLT OF ELECTRICITY. IT SPRANG OUT ONTO MASTER.
"AHH WTF" MASTER SAID.
IT SHOCKED MASTER FOR A MINUTE AND THEN SHOT BACK TO CHEF AS A SWORD. MASTER SLOWLY FELL TO THE GROUND.
CHEF BENT DOWN TO MASTER.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING CHEF?" I ASKED.
"MAKING SURE...HE DOESNT COME BACK." CHEF SAID. "FLASH"
A WHITE FLASH APPEARED ONCE MORE. WHEN IT WAS OVER, MASTER WAS GONE.
"WHAT HAPPENED CHEF?" I ASKED.
"MEH, I'LL TELL YOU LATER..." CHEF SAID. "LET'S JUST GET BACK TO BASE"

CHEF PICKED UP THE GOLDEN SHIELD MASTER HAD.
"THERE IT IS...WE HAVE 3 GOLDEN WEAPONS." CHEF SAID. "I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS...SO SOON."
"ITS GOOD CHEF, ALL WE NEED IS THE CHOSEN ONE" I SAID.
"..RIGHT." CHEF SAID.
"CHEF, YOU SEEM DISAPOINTED." I SAID.
"ITS JUST THAT...I DON'T KNOW. LET'S GO GUYS." CHEF SAID.
"WHOS GONNA CARRY JAMEZ?" IZZY ASKED.
"I WILL I GUESS" I SAID.
WE WALKED HALFWAY TO BASE BEFORE I GOT TIRED.
"LETS STOP FOR A MINUTE" I SAID.
"ITS BEEN AN HOUR, HES STILL OUT?" CHEF SAID.
"YE-WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE HELL" I SAID.
"UH UH UH HI" JAMEZ SAID.
"WTF UR AWAKE JAMEZ?" I SAID.
"IVE BEEN AWAKE SINCE MASTER DROPPED ME I JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO CARRY ME" JAMEZ SAID. "I HOPED IT WAS IZZY SO A LITTLE PIECE OF HIS MAGIC COULD RUB ON ME- I MEAN OFF ON ME."
"YOU SICK FUCK" IZZY SAID.
"JAMEZ CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION" CHEF SAID.
"WHAT" JAMEZ SAID.
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET TO BE A LEADER" CHEF SAID.
"I BLAME JESUS" JAMEZ SAID.
A HELICOPTER FLEW OVER US.
"TRY NOT TO BE SEEN" CHEF SAID. "WE NEVER KNOW WHO IT IS"
"WELL ONE TIME A HELICOPTER THREW OUT FREE CONDOMS AT ME" JAMEZ SAID. "I COULD USE SOME"
"JAMEZ YOU ID-WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS?" IZZY SAID.
"HEY! DOWN HERE! YOU ONLY NEED TO THROW ENOUGH FOR ME CAUSE IM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GET LAID" JAMEZ SAID.
"I CAN GET LAID" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH RITE YOU CAN GET A HUG LOL GO ON SHIDO HUG HIM" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN LAID" I SAID.
"YEAH" JAMEZ SAID.
"BY WHO" I SAID.
"IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO AND I WAS DRUNK" JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY BUT WHO" I SAID.
"NINTENDOMAN" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH LOOK ITS LANDING. THANKS JAMEZ." CHEF SAID. "DUMBASS"
"THERE OBVIOUSLY FRIENDLY, THEY WOULD HAVE ATTACKED BY NOW" I SAID.
"TRUE.." CHEF SAID.
THE HELICOPTER HIT THE GROUND AND THE GUST OF WIND HIT US. THE PERPELLER STOPPED AND SOMEONE OPENED THE DOOR.
I WENT UP TO THE HELICOPTER.
"UH HELLO?" I SAID.
"SHIDO MY BOY" A GUY SAID.
"UH WHAT?" I SAID.
"ITS ME." HE SAID. "AJ"
"WTF YOU DIED" I SAID.
"NO I DIDNT YOU ALL JUST LEFT BEFORE I GOT BACK UP. JACKASSES." AJ SAID.
"SORRY" I SAID.
"LISTEN, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE KILLED BY MT A LONG TIME AGO" AJ SAID. "GET IN"
"DONT GET IN" CHEF SAID.
"WHY NOT? ITS AJ" JAMEZ SAID.
"JUST DONT" CHEF SAID, STEPPING BACK.
"GOD DAMMIT CHEF" AJ SAID.
AJ PULLED OFF HIS MASK AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE RK.
"WTF" I SAID.
"WE WANT OUR DAMN GOLDENS" RK SAID.
HE PULLED OUT A GUN AND SHOT ME. I FELL BACKWARDS. THE LAST THING I SAW WAS RK GETTING OUT OF THE HELICOPTER BEFORE I FADED TO BLACK.
I WOKE UP BEING DRAGGED BY JAMEZ.
"JAMEZ STOP DRAGGING ME" I SAID.
"HES AWAKE" CHEF SAID.
"OBVIOUSLY" IZZY SAID.
"WHAT HAPPENED...?" I SAID.
"RK HAPPENED. HE GOT THE GOLDEN SHIELD AND GOLDEN ARMOR." CHEF SAID. "HES TOO STRONG NOW..."
"AND THE SWORD?" I SAID.
"WELL WHEN I SAW THE HELICOPTER LAND I KNEW IT WAS TROUBLE" CHEF SAID. "SO I PUT IT UNDER ONE OF IZZYS FOLDS."
"ITS SAFE" IZZY SAID.
"WTF IS HAPPENING" I ASKED.
"EVERYTHING WILL BE CLEAR TO YOU SOON SHIDO" CHEF SAID.
WE FINALLY REACHED THE BASE AND IT WAS NIGHT. NICK AND NG HAD GOTTEN THIER SUPPLIES.
"GREAT WE SHALL SAIL OFF TO NORTH AMERICA IMMEDIATLY" JAMEZ SAID.
"DUMBASS, WE HAVE TO GET ASIA'S RIDDLE FIRST. AND THEN AFRICAS. AND EUROPES." I SAID.
"RIGHT. THE ASIA RIDDLE PILLAR..." CHEF SAID. "WHERE IS IT NOW...I HOPE I CAN REMEMBER.."
"I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO. OR I'LL TO KILL A BROTHER" JAMEZ SAID.
"WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW." CHEF SAID. "ITS IN HONG KONG, UNDERWATER."
"WAIT" NG SAID. "I JUST REALIZED. HOW CONVIENT THAT THE SEVEN PILLARS GOD PLACED AROUND THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE SAME NUMBER AS THE NUMBER OF CONTINENTS, AND THERE IS COINCIDENTLY ONE IN EACH CONTINENT, WHEN CONTINENTS DIDNT EVEN EXIST BACK THEN."
"NG" CHEF SAID. "GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN."
"WE'LL GO TO HONG KONG IN THE MORNING MEN LETS GET SOME REST." JAMEZ SAID.
"DOES HE SRSLY THINK HES STILL LEADER?" NICK SAID.
"ACTUALLY JAMEZ, ITS BETTER TO GO NOW SO WE REACH THERE BY DAY. ITS NOT REALLY A SMART IDEA TO GO SWIMMING AT NIGHT YOU KNOW. PLUS ALL THE RESOURCE SHOPS WILL BE OPEN." CHEF SAID.
"LISTEN. TO. ME." JAMEZ SAID. "WERE GOING TOMORROW. IM TIRED. PLUS SWIMMING AT NIGHT IS FUN. ME AND NINTENDOMAN DID IT ALL THE TIME"
"STOP JUST STOP PLEASE" I SAID.
"IM LEADER CHEF. AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DO THIS QUEST ON YOUR OWN" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ WTF" EVERYONE SAID.
"VERY WELL." CHEF SAID. "IZZY, THE SWORD PLEASE."
"NO, WE FOUND IT WE KEEP IT" JAMEZ SAID.
"....WE?" I SAID.
"LISTEN TO ME JAMEZ" CHEF SAID. "I WILL SLICE YOU IN HALF IN SECONDS."
"CMON JAMEZ LETS JUST LISTEN TO HIM" NICK SAID.
"NO" JAMEZ SAID.
"K LATER JAMEZ IM GOING" I SAID.
WE ALL LEFT.
4 MILES LATER JAMEZ WAS CHASING AFTER US.
"STOP" HE SAID.
"WHAT?" CHEF SAID.
"GUYS IVE DECIDED WE SHOULD LEAVE TONIGHT TO MAKE IT TO HONG KONG BY DAY. I MEAN NOTHINGS WORSE THAN SWIMMING AT NIGHT AMIRITE OR AMIRITE? PLUS ALL THE RESOURCE SHOPS WILL BE OPEN TO OUR ADVANTAGE!" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP." CHEF SAID.
WE REACHED HONG KONG AT 9 AM.
"BOUT TIME" IZZY SAID.
"RIGHT WE JUST HAVE TO FIND WHERE EXACTLY THIS PILLAR IS" CHEF SAID.
"DO YOU KNOW THE HISTORY OF THIS CITY, NICK? ITS AMAZING" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO, WHAT IS IT" NICK ASKED.
"WELL LING HAD THIS CITY UNTIL SHADOWDRAGON TOOK IT IN THE 1700S OR SOMETHING. THEN LING GOT FUCKING RIPPED WITH POWER, SO SHADOWDRAGON GAVE IT BACK BEFORE HE GOT HIS ASS NUKED, AND THAT WAS LIKE 2 YEARS AGO" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO FUCKING WAY" NICK SAID.
"THIS PLACE IS HUGE HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND A PILLAR UNDERWATER?" I ASKED.
"SIMPLE SHIDO. I HAVE THIS LITTLE PIECE OF GOLD. THE CLOSER WE GET THE BRIGHTER IT SHINES." CHEF SAID.
"WAIT...YOU HAD THAT THIS WHOLE TIME? NO MENTION OF IT WHATSOEVER UNTIL RIGHT NOW WHEN WE NEED IT?" NG SAID.
"BITCH WHATD I SAY BEFORE" CHEF SAID.
"WELL ITS NOT SHINING AT ALL SO I GUESS WE SHOULD MOVE AROUND OR SOME SHIT" I SAID.
"OH FUCK" JAMEZ SAID. "IS THAT ZIRO??"
HE WAS RIGHT. ZIRO WAS STANDING RANDOMLY IN THE STREET.
"FUCK WHATS HE DOING HERE?" I ASKED.
"LOOKING FOR THE PILLAR" CHEF SAID.
"BUT SWC SAID THEY ALREADY KNEW WHERE THE GOLDEN ARROW WAS" I SAID.
"PROBABLY JUST TO SCARE YOU OR SOMETHING. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE" CHEF SAID.
WE WALKED ALL OVER HONG KONG. THE GOLD SHINED HERE AND THERE BUT NOTHING BIG.
"THIS IS HARDER THAN MY DICK WHEN I SEE BRAD PITT" JAMEZ SAID. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT PILLAR?"
"SOMEONES GONNA HAVE TO JUMP IN THE WATER AND SEE IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THE GOLD." CHEF SAID.
"DONT THEY HAVE...SHARKS?" NICK SAID.
"NICK DONT BE RETARDED THIS IS CHINA THEY HAVE THE KRAKKEN" JAMEZ SAID.
"I'LL DO IT I GUESS" I SAID.
I DOVE INTO THE WATER. I SWAM FOR HOURS.
"SHIDO. YOUVE BEEN SWIMMING IN THE SAME SPOT FOR 3 HOURS" CHEF SAID.
"SORRY BUT IM SCARED AFTER WHAT JAMEZ SAID" I SAID.
"JAMEZ. YOU GO IN" CHEF SAID.
"NO WAY. IF SONIC DOESNT LIKE SWIMMING NIETHER DO I" JAMEZ SAID.
"NICK?" CHEF SAID.
"SHARKS?" NICK SAID.
"NG...WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING GIRLS CANT SWIM LOL" CHEF SAID.
"WTF GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING GUYS CAN DO" NG SAID.
"N...NO. SORRY" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES WE CAN" NG SAID.
"YOU CANT DO MATH, COMEDY, VIDEO GAMES, SPORTS, SWIMMING, AND YOU NEVER GET HALF THE JOKES IN SHOWS/MOVIES." CHEF SAID. "JUST FACE IT YOU SUCK"
"FINE GIVE ME THE GOLD, ILL PROVE TO YOU ALL THAT I CAN DO IT" NG SAID.
"YEAH RIGHT YOUD PROBABLY LOSE IT LOL" I SAID.
"ITS OKAY NG. UNLIKE THE OTHER GUYS HERE, I BELIEVE THAT GIRL SHOULD HAVE IF NOT EQUAL, MORE RIGHTS THAN MEN" NICK SAID.
"WHAT STFU NICK" JAMEZ SAID.
"GIVE ME THE GOLD. CMON." NG SAID.
I TOSSED IT TO HER. SHE MISSED.
"LOL SHE MISSED" I SAID.
"LOL" EVERYONE SAID.
"STFU" NG SAID.
SHE JUMPED INTO THE WATER. SHE SWAM OUT TO WHERE WE COULD BARELY SEE HER. SUDDENLY THE GROUND STARTED SHAKING. I CLIMBED OUT OF THE WATER. I GIANT SPLASH CAME FROM WHERE NG WAS. THE KRAKKEN EMERGED FROM THE WATER AND SMACKED NG WITH A TENTACLE. NG CAME FLYING BACK AT US, SLID ON THE GROUND, AND HIT A BUILDING, DECAPITATING HER HEAD.
"LOL GUYS SHE LOST THE GOLD" I SAID.
"LOL" EVERYONE SAID.
"WAIT, IT LOOKS LIKE THE KRAKKENS COMING THIS WAY" IZZY SAID.
"WHYD IT HAVE TO BE NG WHY COULDNT IT BE ME" NICK SAID.
"THE KRAKKENS COMING THIS WAY" IZZY SAID.
"NICK LOOK IM MAKING HER SUCK MY DICK" JAMEZ SAID USING THE DECAPITATED HEAD AS A BLOWUP DOLL.
"THE KRAKKEN IS COMING HERE" IZZY SAID.
"JAMEZ STOP IT" NICK SAID. "I WANT A TURN"
"HEY DUMBASSES! THE KRAKKENS COMING THIS WAY!" IZZY SAID.
THE KRAKKEN SHOT OUT A TENTACLE HITTING NGS HEAD AND JAMEZ DICK. BOTH INSTANTLY EXPLODED.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" JAMEZ SAID. "HOLY CRAP MY DICK"
"AS IF YOU EVER HAD ONE" I SAID.
THE KRAKKEN GRABBED ME WITH ONE TENTACLE.
"OMG HELP" I SAID.
"LOL TENTACLE RAPE" JAMEZ SAID.
"OH FUCK ARE YOU SRS" I SAID.
"YES I AM A GAY KRAKKEN WHO AND I LOVE PUTTING MY TENTACLES UP ASIAN BOYS ASSES. NICK YOU NEXT." THE KRAKKEN SAID.
"WOW THIS IS ALL HAPPENING SO FAST I DONT EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME" I SAID.
"MY NAME IS LING" THE KRAKKEN SAID.
"NO FUCKING WAY" JAMEZ SAID.
"YES WAY" LING SAID. "HERE WE GO"
THE TENTACLE SHOT UP MY-
"BUT WHY ASIANS?" NICK SAID.
"THEY R FLUFFY" LING SAID.
THE TENTACLE KEPT RAPING MY-
"ASSHOLE! KRAKKEN, SOMEBODY SHOULD KILL YOU" NICK SAID.
"YES SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME" I SAID.
"HA NOBODY CAN KILL ME! IVE BEEN AROUND FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS" LING SAID.
RK SHOT DOWN FROM THE SKY AND RIPPED OFF THE TENTACLE THAT WAS HOLDING ME. HE BACHED IT INTO LINGS HEAD AND HIS BRAINS WENT FLYING ALL OVER HONG KONG.
"THAT IS FOR MY BROTHER YOU FUCKING FREAK" RK SAID.
I CLIMBED OUT OF THE TENTACLE AND ON TO LAND.
"THANKS FOR HELPING, CHEF" I SAID.
"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO I WAS IN SHOCK" CHEF SAID.
"SO ITS TRUE WHAT THE LITTLE ONES SAY" RK SAID. "YOU ARE STILL ALIVE."
"TOLD YOU THERE WERE HERE." ZIRO SAID.
"AND YOU GUYS ARE HERE TOO. WHICH MEANS YOU DONT KNOW WHERE THE GOLDEN ARROW IS" JAMEZ SAID.
"W-WAIT IS YOUR DICK BLEEDING?" RK SAID.
"IT-ITS GONE" JAMEZ SAID.
"...LO1L1OL1O.1OL1OL1OL1O1LO1LO1LO1LO1L1" RK SAID. "BUT ANYWAYS. YOU'RE WRONG. WE DO KNOW WHERE IT IS."
"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?" I ASKED.
"ISNT IT OBVIOUS? TO WAIT FOR YOU GUYS. YOU HAVE TWO THINGS WE WANT. ONE" THE GOLDEN SHIELD. TWO:-" ZIRO SAID.
"YOURE NOT GETTING SHIT FROM US" CHEF SAID. "JAMEZ, SHIDO, NICK, IZZY. RUN."
"WERE NOT GOING ANYWHERE" I SAID.
"YES YOU ARE" CHEF SAID.
RK DROP KICKED CHEF.
"GTFO OF HERE" CHEF SAID.
"ALRIGHT" I SAID.
WE ALL RAN EXCEPT CHEF WHO WAS DESPERATLY TRYING TO FIGHT OFF RK.
"ZIRO." RK SAID. "GO GET THEM"
"RIGHT." ZIRO SAID.
ZIRO RAN AFTER US.
"FUCK GUYS" IZZY SAID. "WHERE DO WE GO?"
"THE HELL IF I-FUCK ZIROS RIGHT BEHIND US" I SAID.
"I'LL FIGHT HIM YOU GUYS JUST GO. GO!!!" IZZY SAID.
ME, JAMEZ, AND NICK ALL RAN INTO AN WAREHOUSE.
"WHERE IS THIS?" JAMEZ ASKED.
"WELCOME" SOME WIERD GUY SAID.
"UH HELLO." I SAID. "WHERE ARE WE EXACTLY?"
"THE CRAB WAREHOUSE. WE BEEN FISHING CRABS FOR YEARS." THE MAN SAID. "YOU FIND EM ALL OVER THE PLACE. OCEANS, LAKES, FISHTANKS, DANIS VAGINA, YOU NAME IT."
"AND WHATS YOUR NAME?" I ASKED.
"HM. I DONT REMEMBER REALLY. IVE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG..." THE MAN SAID.
"ILL CALL YOU SNAKEPIT THEN." I SAID.
"COOL NAME" SNAKE SAID.
"SO SNAKE. WERE HIDING FROM-" JAMEZ SAID.
"SHHH! HE COULD BE AN MT OR SWC SUPPORTER" I SAID.
"HUH? THE FUCK IS MT AND SWC?" SNAKE ASKED.
"THE MAJOR COUNTRYS RIGHT NOW..." I SAID.
"HUH? LAST TIME I CHECKED NR RULED THE WHOLE WORLD. DAMN I SHOULD GET OUT MORE." SNAKE SAID.
"WELL WERE HIDING FROM THEM SO DONT CAUSE ALOT OF ATTENTION HERE" I SAID.
"OH. OKAY." SNAKE SAID. "HEY YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL I FOUND?"
"UH SURE" WE SAID.
HE WALKED US UPSTAIRS. THERE, WE SAW A GIANT PILLAR LEANING ON THE WALL.
"NO FUCKING WAY." I SAID. "WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS?"
"FISHED IT OUT WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR CRABS." SNAKE SAID. "ITS COOL LOOKING, BUT WHENEVER YOU TOUCH IT IT ASKS A RIDDLE THAT I JUST CANT FIGURE OUT."
"YES FUCKING YES" JAMEZ SAID. "TOUCH IT."
I TOUCHED THE PILLAR. IT LIT UP YELLOW.
"WHAT IS THE WORST TELEVISION SHOW EVER CREATED BY MAN?" THE PILLAR SAID.
"HMM..." I SAID.
"THATS SIMPLE." JAMEZ SAID. "THE HILLS."
"CORRECT" THE PILLAR SAID.
THE PILLAR FLASHED WHITE, AND THEN TURNED BLACK.
"JAMEZ HOWD YOU KNOW?" I ASKED.
"YOU EVER SEEN THAT SHOW? ITS TERRIBLE." JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY OUR FIRST HINT. THE HILLS. HM.." I SAID.
IZZY CAME CRASHING THROUGH THE WALL.
"I UH COULDNT HOLD HIM OFF" IZZY SAID.
ZIRO JUMPED INTO THE WAREHOUSE.
"HEEEEEEEEEEERES ZIRO" ZIRO SAID.
"HOLY SHIT SNAKE HES GONNA KILL US" JAMEZ SAID.
"THE HELL HE IS" SNAKE SAID. "CRABS! ATTACK!!"
CRABS ALL FLEW AT ZIRO.
"HOLY SHIT" ZIRO SAID.
"SIR" ON OF THE CRABS SAID. "THERES ALREADY CRABS ON HIS DICK"
ZIRO FELL BACKWARDS OUT OF THE WAREHOUSE.
"LETS GET BACK TO CHEF NOW" I SAID.
"RIGHT." JAMEZ SAID. "HEY SNAKE, YOU WANNA COME WITH US?"
"NAH. IM GOOD HERE." SNAKE SAID. "GOOD LUCK GUYS."
WE LEFT THE WAREHOUSE TO GET BACK TO CHEF.

"CHEF? CHEF WHERE ARE YOU?" I ASKED SEARCHING ALL AROUND.
I FINALLY FOUND CHEF. HE WAS STILL FIGHTING RK.
"SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "TAKE THE SWORD"
HE THREW THE SWORD AT ME.
"WHY?" I ASKED CATCHING IT.
"HE WANTS IT SO GO RUN WITH IT" CHEF SAID.
I STARTED RUNNING AGAIN. AFTER A WHILE I NOTICED JAMEZ, IZZY AND NICK WEREN'T WITH ME.
RK WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME.
"GOTCHA" HE SAID AS HE TACKLED ME. "NOW GIVE ME THE SWORD"
"NO" I SAID ELBOWING HIM IN THE FACE.
I EXCAPED FROM HIM AND RAN. HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME AGAIN.
"JUST GIVE IT-" RK SAID.
BOOM. A HUGE YELLOW BALL OF ENERGY SHOT OUT FROM A DISTANCE. I DUCKED, RK DIDNT. RK WENT FLYING BACK.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" I ASKED.
"SHIDO, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS" JAMEZ SAID. "ITS MY TURBO DICK. A FULLY FUNCTIONAL DICK, PLUS IT CAN SHOOT ENERGY BALLS, AND ITS ROBOTIC. ME AND NICK BOUGHT IT AT BESTBUY."
"WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THAT IDEA IS A HOMO. WAIT..NO...A FURRY." I SAID.
"NO TIME NOW, RKS GETTING BACK UP AND ITS TIME FOR MY DICK TO SAVE THE DAY" JAMEZ SAID.
RK PUSHED HIMSELF UP TO SEE JAMEZ DICK POINTING RIGHT AT HIS FACE.
"STOP RK, OR MY DICK WILL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF." JAMEZ SAID.
RK GRABBED THE DICK AND RIPPED IT OFF.
"HOLY-SHIT" JAMEZ SAID FALLING TO THE GROUND.
RK THREW THE DICK AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO NICKS CHEST.
"HOLY-SHIT" NICK SAID FALLING TO THE GROUND.
"NOW. THE SWORD." RK SAID PULLING THE DICK OUT OF NICKS CHEST. "OR SHOULD I DICKAPITATE YOU."
"I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THIS SWORD RK. YOUR USING IT FOR EVIL, TO HELP FREE BRADLEY, SO HE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD." I SAID.
"WHA-WHAT?" RK SAID.
"DONT DENY IT. YOUR GETTING ALL THE GOLDEN WEAPONS TO GIVE TO BRADLEY." I SAID.
SUDDENLY CHEF CAME BEHIND RK, GRABBED HIM, AND THREW HIM INTO THE OCEAN.
"LETS GTFO OF HERE" CHEF SAID.
"BUT JAMEZ AND NICK ARE ON THE GROUND." I SAID.
"PICK EM UP OR LEAVE EM. YOUR CHOICE" CHEF SAID RUNNING.
I KNEW I COULD ONLY CARRY ONE, SO I PICKED JAMEZ, BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER FIGHTER AND HAD A BETTER CHANCE OF SURVIVING HIS WOUND THAN NICK DID. I WOULD LATER REGRET PICKING JAMEZ OVER NICK.
"NICKS GONE NICK IS FUCKING GONE" I SAID. "PROBABLY DIED FROM THAT CHEST WOUND..."
"SHIDO, ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE. YOU NEED TO SUCK IT UP" CHEF SAID.
"WELL THIS IS KIND OF THE 2ND TIME WEVE UH..LEFT NICK BEHIND" I SAID.
"YEAH AND YOU FORGOT ME TOO. ASSBURGERS." IZZY SAID APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE.
"SORRY IZZY, BUT YOU KIND OF JUST DISAPPEARED. YOU ALWAYS DO. NOT LIKE 7 DAYS AGO WHEN YOU WERE ALL NEEDY AND ZENKU." I SAID.
"YOU KNOW?!?!?!?!" IZZY SAID.
"WHO DOESNT KNOW? BESIDES JAMEZ" I SAID.
"SIGH." IZZY SAID. "I WANTED TO BE MORE THAN THE FAT GUY WHO WAS HOLDING EVERYONE BEHIND. I WANTED TO BECOME A GREAT HERO LIKE YOU SHIDO."
"WELL SADLY YOU WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "SO LETS GO"
"BUT IZZY, YOU'RE FATNESS CAN BE USED TO OUR ADVANTAGE TOO." I SAID.
"FUCK IS THIS FINR OR FULL HOUSE?" CHEF SAID.
"HOW SO" IZZY SAID.
"WELL YOURE GONNA MAKE A FATASTIC BOAT, WE CAN HIDE THE GOLDEN SWORD IN YOUR FAT, AND WHEN EVER A NUKES ABOUT TO DROP WHO DO WE ASK TO LAY ON TOP OF US?" I SAID.
"...M...ME" IZZY SAID.
"THATS RIGHT! IZZY THE FAT GUY! AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE? I THINK YOU'RE REALLY SPECIAL! AND I AINT GOIN NOWHERE WITHOUT MY FRIEND IZZY" I SAID.
"YEAH OKAY THE END LETS GO" CHEF SAID.
"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL SHIDO" JAMEZ SAID. "BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE TEAM EITHER."
"OH GOD DAMN" CHEF SAID.
"WHY JAMEZ, WITHOUT YOU WHERE WOULD THE JOKES COME FROM? I MEAN YOU MAKE/SET UP HALF OF THEM YOU REALIZE THAT RIGHT? AND NICK IS JUST A STICK IN THE SAND. THATS WHY I LEFT HIM TO DIE AND NOT YOU" I SAID.
"WOW SHIDO THANKS. LETS ALL HAVE A GROUP HUG." JAMEZ SAID.
WE ALL HAD A NICE GROUP HUG. "HOLY SHIT ZENS FAT IS ABSORBING ME" I SAID.
"ME TOO" JAMEZ SAID.
WE BOTH WERE SUCKED UP INTO ZEN.
I COULDNT BREATH. CHEF PULLED ME AND JAMEZ OUT.
"CAN WE GO?" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH SURE" I SAID.
WE BEGAN TO AFRICA. ALONG THE WAY I STARTED TO THINK OF ANYTHING THAT HAD TO DO WITH HILLS. I COULDN'T REALLY THINK OF ANYTHING.
"IM TIRED" JAMEZ SAID. 'LETS REST FOR A SECOND"
"OKAY" CHEF SAID.
WE ALL SAT DOWN.
"SHIDO, COME OVER HERE" CHEF SAID.
WE WALKED AWAY FROM THE OTHERS.
"WHAT CHEF?" I SAID.
"IM GOING TO TEACH YOU HOW TO USE THE SWORD" CHEF SAID.
"WHA? WHY ME?" I SAID.
"IM NOT GOING TO BE WITH YOU GUYS MUCH LONGER, SO SOMEONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO USE THIS THING. AND OUT OF EVERYONE HERE YOU'RE THE MOST CAPABLE." CHEF SAID.
"YES" I SAID. "SO WHATS FIRST?"
"WELL" CHEF SAID. "THE SWORD IS A VERY POWERFUL THING. I MEAN, I KNOW YOUVE SEEN SOME OF ITS POWER, BUT REALLY IN THE RIGHT HANDS YOU WOULDNT EVEN NEED THE OTHER GOLDEN ITEMS TO BE INVINCIBLE."
"OH" I SAID.
"YOU SEE" CHEF SAID. "USING THE SWORD, YOU ARE ABLE TO UNLOCK POWERS BASED ON YOUR PESONALITY."
"WHICH IS WHY I CANT DO THE STUFF YOU AND RK AND ZIRO WERE DOING" I SAID.
"EXACTLY," CHEF SAID. "BUT ITS MORE THAN PERSONALITY. BASICALLY ITS LIKE THIS. EVERYONE GETS ONE POWER TO START OFF WITH. YOU WERE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND OUT YOUR POWER SO QUICKLY BECAUSE IT USUALLY TAKES YEARS. AFTER THAT, THE MORE THE SWORD GROWS TO KNOW YOU, THE MORE POWERFUL IT GETS AND THE MORE POWERS YOU CAN USE."
"WAIT...THE SWORD KNOWS ME? KIND OF LAME" I SAID.
"YES IT IS VERY LAME BUT ITS HOW IT WORKS" CHEF SAID.
"BUT WAIT, RK AND ZIRO HAD ALOT OF POWERS. RK EVEN THREW GINGA INTO THE SKY WITH IT. HAVE THEY HAD THE SWORD BEFORE?" I SAID.
"KIND OF.." CHEF SAID. "LETS FOCUS ON YOUR TRAINING HERE. SO YOU CAN USE FIRE?"
"UHM YES I CAN" I SAID.
"GOOD. IT MEANS YOUR A DRAGON" CHEF SAID.
"WAIT IM A DRAGON???" I SAID.
"NOT LITERALLY DUMBASS." CHEF SAID. "YOU KNOW THAT CHINESE ZODIAC?"
"YES" I SAID.
"IT WAS GODS SECRET MESSAGE TO WHAT KIND OF POWERS YOU CAN UNLOCK WITH THE SWORD." CHEF SAID.
"WHY DOES GOD MAKE EVERYTHING SECRET AND COMPLICATED" I SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT I DONT KNOW" CHEF SAID.
"WELL WHAT EXACTLY MAKES ME A DRAGON? I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS A DOG" I SAID.
"LISTEN SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "THAT BIRTHDAY STUFF IS BULLSHIT. SRSLY. THE ANIMAL YOU ARE IS DECIDED BY YOUR GOD DAMN PERSONALITY. AS I SAID BEFORE."
"WELL WHAT IF IM SCHIZOPHRENIC" I SAID.
"THAT JUST MEANS YOUR SPECIAL AND CAN USE ALL THE SWORDS POWERS." CHEF SAID.
"OH REALLY SO ALL THOSE INSANE KILLERS WERE JUST SPECIAL. GOOD TO KNOW." I SAID.
"JESUS CHRIST IM ABOUT 10 SECONDS AWAY FROM JUST LETTING JAMEZ HAVE THE SWORD. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO DIE?" CHEF SAID.
"SORRY SIR ILL BE QUIET" I SAID.
"ANYWAYS" CHEF SAID. "DRAGONS ARE HARDWORKERS. DRAGONS UNLOCK FIRE, THEN AIR, THEN EARTH, THEN MAGIC, AND FINALLY GENESIS, THE MOVE YOU SAW RK DO."
"DOESNT GENESIS MEAN BIRTH?" I SAID.
"YES" CHEF SAID. "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE MOVE IS."
"SO IS RK A DRAGON TOO?" I ASKED.
"NO ACTUALLY EVERYONE LEARNS GENESIS AS THE FINAL MOVE." CHEF SAID.
"IS THAT ALL YOU NEED TO TELL ME?" I ASKED.
"SADLY NO. THERES MORE TO THESE SPECIAL POWERS WHEN SWORD FIGHTING. YOU ALSO NEED TO ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE THE SWORD." CHEF SAID.
"LIKE WHAT" I SAID.
"THATS WHAT THE TRAINING IS FOR. I AM GOING TO TEACH YOU ALMOST EVERY TECHNIQUE FOR THE SWORD THERE IS." CHEF SAID.
"ALRIGHT" I SAID.
WE TRAINED FOR HOURS. FINALLY WE WALKED BACK TO WHERE ZEN AND JAMEZ WERE. THEY WERE ASLEEP.
"LETS GO TO SLEEP" CHEF SAID. "WELL GO TO AFRICA TOMORROW."
"K" I SAID.
WE BOTH WENT TO SLEEP.
I WOKE UP HANGING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.
"AHHH" I SAID. "WTF?"
BELOW I SAW SOME MT SOLDIERS POINTING GUNS UP AT THE HELICOPTER. THEY ALL FIRED. MY ARM GOT HIT.
SOMEONE FINALLY PULLED ME UP INTO THE HELICOPTER.
"SHIDOS BEEN HIT" JAMEZ SAID.
"WE'LL FIND A HOSPITAL" CHEF SAID.
"WHATS GOING ON??" I SAID.
"MT HELICOPTER WAS FLYING OVER US" ZEN SAID. "JAMEZ SIGNALLED THEM TO LAND, YET AGAIN"
"WHY JAMEZ??" I ASKED.
"CONDOMS" JAMEZ SAID. "BESIDES, GOOD CAME OUT OF THIS ONE. WE JACKED A COPTER"
"...DID IT EVER OCCUR TO ANYONE HERE THAT MT KEEPS A TRACKING DEVICE ON ALL THIER HELICOPTERS TO KNOW WHERE EVERY HELICOPTER IS AT ALL TIMES???" I SAID.
"OFUCK" JAMEZ SAID.
"SO NOW MT KNOWS WHERE WE ARE" I SAID.
"NOT RLY SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "THEY DONT RLY KNOW ITS US. UNLESS THE SOLDIERS ARE STILL ALIVE"
"THEY ARE." I SAID.
"K WE BETTER LAND THIS THING THEN" CHEF SAID.
"OR...." ZEN SAID. "JUST TAKE OUT THE TRACKING DEVICE."
"HOW WOULD WE KNOW WHERE IT IS?' I ASKED.
"WE LOOK IN THE MANUEL" ZEN SAID.
"MANUEL?" I SAID.
"YEAH I HAVE THE MANUEL RIGHT HERE." ZEN SAID. "NOW LETS SEE...TRACKING DEVICE..AH-HA HERE WE GO. 'THE TRACKING DEVICE IS LOCATED ON TOP OF THE HELICOPTER. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IT IS ILLEGAL TO REMOVE THIS DEVICE AND YOU WILL BE HUNTED BY THE LAW AS SOON AS YOU DO SO.'"
"SO EITHER WAY THIER GONNA COME AFTER US" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH, BUT TAKING OFF THE TRACKING DEVICE WILL MAKE IT HARDER" CHEF SAID.
"SOMEONE GO TAKE IT OFF" ZEN SAID.
"I WILL I GUESS" I SAID.
I CLIMBED OUT ONTO THE HELICOPTER. I CRAWLED ONTO THE TOP TRYING NOT TO GET MY HEAD SLICED OFF BY THE PERPELLAR.
"K WHERE IS THIS THING..." I SAID.
I SAW A FLASHING RED LIGHT. THAT HAD TO BE IT. I GRABBED ONTO IT AND RIPPED IT OFF.
"WOW THAT WAS EASIER THAN I EXPECTED." I SAID.
SUDDENLY A ROCKET SHOT RIGHT OVER MY HEAD. I LOOKED DOWN. IT WAS HYPER AND MUSIC.
"CHEF!!!" I YELLED BUT HE COULDNT HERE ME.
HE DIDNT EVEN SEEM TO NOTICE THEY WERE SHOOTING AT US.
I WANTED TO CLIMB BACK INTO THE SHIP BUT I KNEW IF I DID A ROCKET MIGHT HIT ME DEAD ON. BUT IF I DIDNT, AND IT HIT THE COPTER, ID BE TOAST.
BOOM. ANOTHER ROCKET WAS SHOT, THIS ONE EVEN CLOSER TO MY HEAD. THIS TIME CHEF SAW. HE MADE THE COPTER LEAN TO THE SIDE, BUT I KNEW HE COULDNT REALLY DO ANYTHING TO STOP THEM. I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
ANOTHER ROCKET WAS FIRED AND IT HIT THE BOTTOM OF THE COPTER. I HELD ON TIGHT AND LUCKILY I DIDNT FLY INTO THE PERPELLER. THEY WERE PREPARING THE NEXT ROCKET AND THE HELICOPTER COULDNT TAKE ANYMORE.
I LET GO OF THE HELICOPTER DROPPING TO THE GROUND. I SLAMMED INTO THE GROUND.
"OOOOOWWW" I SAID.
HYPER AIMED THE ROCKET LAUNCHER AT ME.
"GET UP" HE SAID.
I GOT UP.
"HYPER DONT DO THIS. WE USED TO BE BEST FRIENDS BEFORE, REMEMBER?" I SAID.
"WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS" HYPER SAID. "YOU'RE JUST THAT STUPID"
"WHAT?" I SAID.
"THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOUR TEAM, I WAS JUST A SPY" HYPER SAID.
"WE KIND OF FIGURED THAT OUT" I SAID.
"WELL NOW ITS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE SHIDO. WELL SEE WHO THE UNIMPORTANT ONE IS NOW." HYPER SAID.
"USING A WHOLE ROCKET ON ONE GUY? HOLY SHIT HOW DOES SWC AFFORD FOOD" I SAID.
"THIS IS WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU SHIDO! YOU OVER-ANALYZE EVERYTHING!" HYPER SAID.
THEN NICK CAME UP BEHIND HYPER AND HIT HIM WITH A PS3.
"HOWS IT FEEL BITCH" NICK SAID.
"NICK!" I SAID.
MUSIC PUNCHED NICK AND NICK FELL DOWN. I KICKED MUSIC DOWN.
I PICKED UP THE ROCKET LAUNCHER.
THE HELICOPTER WAS LANDING.
"YOU LEFT ME BEHIND" NICK SAID.
"I HAD TOO" I SAID. "I HAD TO TAKE SOMEONE AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE DYING"
"YEAH LUCKILY FUCKING SWC THOUGHT I WAS DYING TOO, BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL RIGHT NEXT TO ME TALKING" NICK SAID.
"WHAT ABOUT?" I ASKED.
"IDK I WAS FUCKING DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" NICK SAID.
"NICK MY BOY" JAMEZ SAID. "GET IN THA CHOPPA"
WE BOTH GOT IN THE HELICOPTER. AS WE FLEW AWAY I SAW MUSIC AND HYPER GETTING UP. I AIMED THE ROCKET LAUNCHER AT THEM AND THEN FIRED. I WATCHED AS THE ROCKET HIT, AND EXPLODED WHERE HYPER AND MUSIC WERE.
I THINK I LEARNED SOMETHING. THERE ARE NO FRIENDS IN NR AND SOMEONES ALWAYS GOING TO LEAVE YOU BEHIND. BASICALLY, IN THIS WORLD, ITS UP TO YOU TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE.
"GUYS, WERE OFF TO AAAAAAAAFRICA!" CHEF SAID.
"GOOD" JAMEZ SAID. "OFF TO THE NEXT RIDDLE."

JAMEZ FINISHED READING HIS STORY.
"HOLY SHIT JAMEZ" SHIDO SAID. "THAT STORY WAS TERRIBLE"
"IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE LIGHT OF THINGS." JAMEZ SAID.
"I KNOW BUT STILL. DAMN. DO NOT BECOME A WRITER" ZEN SAID.
"FUCK YOU FATASS" JAMEZ SAID.
"HEYHEYHEYHEYHEY" CHEF SAID. "WERE ALL FRIENDS HERE"
"NONE OF US ARE FRIENDS" I SAID. "WE ALL HATE EACHOTHER"
"YEAH AND I ESPECIALLY HATE NICK" JAMEZ SAID.
"WTF DID I DO" NICK SAID.
"I HAD ALL OF THE MINIGAMES ON MARIO PARTY 3, ALL OF THEM EVEN THE SUPER RARE BONUS ONES AND THEN YOU DELETED MY FILE! IT TOOK ME 3 YEARS! 3 YEARS!" JAMEZ SAID.
"WELL AJ MOVED THE 64 INTO MY ROOM SO IT WAS MY GAME" NICK SAID.
"NO YOU JUST HAD THE TV WITH THE YELLOW RED WHITE THINGS" JAMEZ SAID.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP OR ILL CRASH THIS CHOPPA ON PURPOSE" CHEF SAID.
"CHEFS RIGHT" I SAID. "I MEAN ABOUT SHUTTING UP, NOT THE MENTALLY UNSTABLE KAMAKAZI"
"THANK YOU SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "WERE ALMOST TO AFRICA. JUST PLAY MARIO TENNIS GAMEBOY OR SOMETHING"
"BUT WE DONT HAVE A LINK CABLE" I SAID. "AH THE EARLY 2000S"
"GOD DAMMIT USE NICKS DICK AS A LINK CABLE" CHEF SAID.
"OKAY" JAMEZ SAID.
HE RIPPED NICKS DICK OFF.
"FUUUUUUUU" NICK SAID.
"GREAT, NOW THERES 3 PEOPLE IN OUR GROUP WITHOUT DICKS" ZEN SAID.
"3?" I SAID.
"DONT TRY TO HIDE IT SHIDO. I MEAN, WHO PLAYS THE VIOLIN AND HAS A DICK?" ZEN SAID.
"ITS NOT MY FAULT MY MOM MAKES ME" I SAID.
"MMMM SHIDOS MOM" JAMEZ SAID. "REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE AND SHE MADE ME POUR NOODLE SOUP DOWN HER VAGINA AND THEN EAT IT OUT."
"WTF" I SAID.
"THATS RIGHT. I NOODLED UR MOM SHIDO" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU SICK FUCK" I SAID.
"WHATCHA GONNA DO SHIDO FIGHT ME HSAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAJHAJHDUIOASHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" JAMEZ SAID. "EVERYONE KNOWS IM THE ONE WHO CARRIES THIS TEAM. I AM THE DRAG AND YOU ARE THE SKY. NOW SUCK MY DICK"
I TACKLED JAMEZ.
"AHHH HELP CHEF HES GONNA KILL ME" JAMEZ SAID.
"FINALLY" CHEF SAID. "HERE STAB HIM"
CHEF THREW ME THE SWORD.
"IM JUST GOING TO DO THIS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE" I SAID.
"GAH WAIT" CHEF SAID. "FUCK!!! SHIDO!!!"
"WHAT??" I SAID.
"WE GOT MT BELOW US READY TO BLOW US OUT OF THE SKY" CHEF SAID.
"UHOH" I SAID.
"GO DOWN THERE" CHEF SAID.
I CLIMBED OUT OF THE HELICOPTER. I ALMOST SLIPPED ON JAMEZ PISS.
I LANDED ON FOUR FEET LIKE A KITTY. I SAW DAN AND A BUNCH OF MT SOLDIERS.
"SHIDO. LONG TIME NO SEE" DAN SAID.
"GAY" I SAID. "WHATS THIS"
"YOU STOLE OUR HELICOPTER AND WE WANT IT BACK" DAN SAID.
"DAN YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS, WE CAN TEAM UP. YOU WERE AFTER NR BUT SWC IS AFTER THE WORLD. WE HAVE TO STOP THEM" I SAID.
"HMM" DAN SAID. "WELL SHIDO-"
"HES ALREADY WITH US" SUNNY SAID.
"WHAT?" I SAID.
"MT AND SWC HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TOGETHER." SUNNY SAID.
"THAT MAKES NO SENSE-" I SAID.
"WEVE ALWAYS BEEN WORKING TOGETHER." RK SAID. "MINDFUCK RIGHT?"
"BUT WHY BE SEPERATE COUNTRIES? DESTROY YOU'RE OWN PEOPLE..." I SAID.
"YEAH, WE DID HAVE TO KILL A FEW TEAMMATES TO MAKE IT LOOK CONVINCING BUT THIS IS WAR AND ANYTHING GOES" SUNNY SAID.
"NO YOU PEOPLE ARE EVIL" I SAID.
"YEAH. WE ARE." SUNNY SAID.
"I DONT GET IT...WHY SEPERATE MT AND SWC? WHY NOT JUST ONE BIG COUNTRY??" I SAID.
"I DONT THINK THATS ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS." SUNNY SAID. "RK, TAKE HIM."
"GUYS BLOW DOWN THAT HELICOPTER." DAN SAID.
"NO!" I SAID.
"TOO LATE" RK SAID.
RK PUNCHED ME AND I WAS OUT.

I AWOKE IN A DUNGEON. DUSTY, GLOOMY, SLIMEY. REMINDED ME OF DEADMETALHEAD'S VAGINA.
"LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY WOKE UP" A GUY SAID.
"THE HELL ARE YOU" I SAID.
"THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT" HE SAID. "WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT WE ARE TOGETHER AGAIN"
"WOW HOW DRUNK WAS I" I SAID.
"IN A PAST LIFE WE RULED THIS LAND" HE SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT HELP HEEEEEEELLLP YOU PUT ME WITH A CRAZY PERSON" I SAID.
"THEY WONT ANSWER YOU." HE SAID. "I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 40 YEARS"
"DO WE ATLEAST GET FOOD?" I SAID.
"WHATEVER YOU CAN CATCH YOU CAN EAT" HE SAID.
"SO WHACHA IN HERE FOR" I SAID.
"I WAS APART OF SWC, UNTIL I FOUND OUT ALL THIS SHIT" HE SAID. "I TRIED TO KILL THEM ALL BUT THEY CAUGHT ME. IM IN HERE UNTIL I DIE"
"WERE YOU LIKE A SUPER GOOD FIGHTER?" I ASKED.
"NO I SUCKED. LIKE RLY BADLY" HE SAID. "WHATRE YOU IN HERE FOR?"
"TRYING TO STOP THEM I GUESS" I SAID.
I JUST REALIZED THAT ALL MY TEAMMATES WERE DEAD.
"FFFFF-" I SAID.
"WHATS WRONG?" HE SAID.
"I JUST REALIZED ALL MY TEAMMATES ARE DEAD" I SAID.
"THEN WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?" HE SAID.
"..DUNNO" I SAID.
"LISTEN, ME AND YOU ARE GETTING OUT OF HERE." HE SAID. "I HAVE A PLAN. I START YELLING FIRE, THEN WE WAIT FOR SOMONE TO COME THROUGH THE DOOR. WE BUST HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR SHOE, AND RUN OUT OF HERE."
"OR I COULD JUST STAB-FUCK THE SWORD!!!" I SAID.
"SWORD?" HE SAID.
"GOLDEN SWORD." I SAID. "THE ULTIMATE POWER. I LOST IT, AND NOW ALL THEY NEED IS THE CHOSEN ONE AND THEY GOT THE ARROW."
"SO WHAT?" HE SAID.
"THEY WILL HAVE ALL 4 GOLDEN WEAPONS AND CAN OBLITERATE GOD" I SAID. "THEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE."
"SO YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR GOOD? SAME HERE." HE SAID.
"TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SWC" I SAID.
"NOT MUCH AND I PROBABLY WONT BE MUCH HELP, BUT I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW SOMETHING FUCKED UP IS GOING ON" HE SAID. "I HEARD SUNNY AND RK TALKING ABOUT RELEASING BRADLEY...THE HELL IS BRADLEY? BUT THEY WERE WHISPERING IT SO HE MUST BE SOME BASTARD. I FOUND ALL THESE FILES...WE WERE FOUNDING ANOTHER BRANCH OF SWC...MAJESTIC TRAGEDY? IDK. THERES ALSO A DOOR THATS ALWAYS LOCKED. ZIRO TOLD ME ONLY HIM, SUNNY, RK, AND MASTER COULD ENTER IT. I GOT A BAD FEELING FROM THAT DOOR. THEN I FIND A PAPER WITH THIS WIERD WRITING...IDK THATS ALL I GOT."
"WTF...THIS MUST BE SOMETHING DEEPER THAN THE GOLDEN ITEMS" I SAID.
"YES, SOMETHING DEEPER THAN KILLING GOD, BRILLIANT." HE SAID.
"GEEZ SORRY" I SAID.
"YOU'RE JUST A KID YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS" HE SAID.
"IM NOT A KID IM 15" I SAID.
"BTW" HE SAID. "YOU CAN CALL ME...SPIN."
"SHIDO." I SAID.
"I KNOW." HE SAID. "WE RULED THIS LAND TOGETHER REMEMBER?"
SUDDENLY THE DOOR OPENED.
"SHIDO" RK SAID. "RIGHT THERE"
"AH-HAHAHA" ZERO SAID. "WE MEET YET AGAIN SHIDO"
"DO I KNOW YOU?" I SAID.
"WHA-WHAT?? WE FOUGHT REMEMBER??" ZERO SAID.
"...NO..?" I SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT NOBODY EVER REMEMBERS ME" ZERO SAID RUNNING AWAY CRYING.
"SHIDO, YOU'RE COMING WITH US" SUNNY SAID.
"...NOT WITHOUT SPIN" I SAID.
"SRSLY?" SUNNY SAID. "FINE YEAH BRING HIM"
"YES! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN" SPIN SAID. "WAIT CRAP I FORGOT TO CHARGE MY GAMEBOY SP"
"SIR?" HYPER SAID.
"WHAT HYPER" SUNNY SAID.
"WE JUST GOT REPORT THAT ALL NR FUGITIVES ARE STILL LIVING AND 15 MT SOLDIERS ARE DEAD." HYPER SAID.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK" SUNNY SAID.
"HYES! HYES! HYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!" I SAID.
"SHIDO, SHUT THE HELL UP" RK SAID. "YOU'RE GONNA HELP US FIND THEM."
"WHY BOTHER, RK?" SUNNY SAID.
"SUNNY, I THINK YOU FORGOT THE 3RD RULE." RK SAID.
"WAIT..CRAP YOU'RE RIGHT. SHIDO YOU HAVE TO HELP US FIND THEM." SUNNY SAID.
"AND IF I REFUSE?" I SAID.
"THEN YOU MUST GO THROUGH THE MOST EXTREME TORTURE EVER." SUNNY SAID.
"YOU CANT BREAK ME" I SAID.
"CAN'T I?" SUNNY SAID.
AUSTIN HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE CONVERSATION.
"OKAY OKAY OH GOD HOLY SHIT OKAY I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK ME JUST PLEASE NOT HIM" I SAID.
WE WERE ON A HELICOPTER.
"OKAY SHIDO" RK SAID. "WHERE WERE YOUR FRIENDS GOING NEXT?"
"UHM" I SAID. "THE AFRICAN RIDDLE THING"
"GOOD. I'LL TELL THE PILOT" RK SAID.
"DUDE" SPIN SAID. "WHEN HE COMES BACK OUT, WERE GONNA KILL HIM"
"RK? WE HAVE NO CHANCE." I SAID.
"DID YOU SEE HIS BACK POCKET?" SPIN SAID.
RK CAME BACK OUT. THE GOLDEN SWORD WAS IN HIS BACK POCKET.
"HOLY FUSHIT" I SAID.
"WHAT?" RK SAID.
"ERNOTHINGSIR" I SAID.
I WAS HANDCUFFED, BUT IF I HAD THE SWORD I COULD CUT THOUGH THEM. I WOULD HAVE TO GRAB IT WITH MY TEETH.
I OPENED MY MOUTH AND MOVED TO RKS ASS. FINALLY I GRABBED IT.
"W...WTF??" RK SAID. "FUCKING PERVERT!!"
RK SLAPPED ME SO HARD THE SWORD FLEW OUT OF MY MOUTH, OUT THE HELICOPTER.
"FUCKING SHIT!!" RK SAID DIVING AFTER IT.
"HYES SHIDO" SPIN SAID. "BUT WERE STILL HANDCUFFED"
"DAMMIT. OH WELL" I SAID.
ME AND SPIN MOVED UP TO THE PIOLET.
AFTER SPIN WAS DONE VIOLENTLY STRANGLING HIM WITH HIS HANDCUFFS THAT WERE JUST GOING TO BRUSH OFF TO THE SIDE LIKE HOW EVERYONE JUST BRUSHES OFF HOW MEBALL OBVIOUSLY LIKES DICK, WE TOOK CONTROL OF THE HELICOPTER.
KIND OF.
WE CRASHED IN 5 SECONDS.
"WHAT THE FUCK SPIN" I SAID. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO GOOD AT FLYING HELICOPTERS"
"I LIED BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT YOU TO THINK OF ME AS A BAD LEADER (LOL)" SPIN SAID.
"WELL HEY ATLEAST THE CRASH BROKE THESE HANDCUFFS" I SAID.
"WHAT A GREAT WRITER'S CONVINENCE" SPIN SAID. "NOW WHERE NEXT?"
"WE FUCKING HIDE." I SAID. "SWC HAS ALL THE GOLDEN WEAPONS. THEY'LL BE FINDING THE CHOSEN ONE SOON AND WE NEED TO GET TO A SAFE SPOT IN THE WORLD. A SAFE SPOT WHERE THIER NAZI RIEGN WILL NEVER GET TO US."
"I AGREE WITH THAT" SPIN SAID. "BUT WHERE?"
"THE ONE PLACE NO ONE WOULD EVER GO TO." I SAID. "TRENTON, NEW JERSEY."
"GENIOUS" SPIN SAID. "BUT HOW WILL WE GET THERE?"
"I GOT A COUPLE OF FRIENDS..." I SAID. "THEYRE DEAD, BUT WE CAN STILL USE THE BODY. MY FRIEND ZENKU, HELL BE OUR BOAT."
"ZENKU, THE BOMB EXPERT? HEY I KNOW HIM." SPIN SAID. "STUBBORN, EASILY ANNOYED?"
"YES!" I SAID.
"SUPER SKINNY?" SPIN SAID.
"...NEVERMIND." I SAID.
"WELL WHERE ARE THEY?" SPIN SAID.
"AFRICA" I SAID.
"YOURE CRAZY SHIDO WERE IN FUCKING INDIA" SPIN SAID.
"WELL WERE GONNA HAVE TO FUCKING WALK. OR WOULD YOU RATHER DIE" I SAID.
"LET ME ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR YOU." ZERO SAID.
"OH HEY....YOU." I SAID.
"YOU?? YOU DONT EVEN KNOW MY NAME??" ZERO SAID. "WERE YOUR GUYSES ARCH NEMESISES! TEAM 3!"
"SWC HAS A THIRD TEAM?" I SAID.
"WHA-WHA??/ YOU FOUGHT US!!" JUSTIN SAID.
"I....UH...NO..." I SAID.
"THATS IT" DACHAMP SAID. "KILL THESE GUYS"
ZERO JUMPED AT ME BUT I KNOCKED HIM DOWN WITH MY FIST.
"JUSTIN GO!" DACHAMP SAID.
"I DONT WANNA GET HURT!!!!!!" JUSTIN SAID.
"STAND DOWN TEAM THREE" RK SAID EMERGING FROM THE BUSHES. "I GOT THIS"
"NO RK! WE CAN DO IT!" DACHAMP SAID.
"NO. I HAVE THE SWORD." RK SAID.
"FINE...CMON GUYS..." DACHAMP SAID.
TEAM THREE LEFT.
"ALRIGHT LETS GO" RK SAID.
"YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME." SPIN SAID. "WERE NOT GOING WITH YOU"
"...YEAH OKAY JUST CMON BEFORE I BUST YOUR HEAD OPEN" RK SAID.
"NO RK" SPIN SAID. "THE LAST TIME YOU FUCKS CONFRONTED ME I PUSSYED OUT AND LET YOU LOCK ME UP. BUT NOT THIS TIME."
"FINE. THEN GO. WE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT YOU" RK SAID. "SHIDO LETS GO."
"NO SHIDO DONT" SPIN SAID. "IM GOING TO KILL RK"
"L1OL1OL1OL1" RK SAID. "YOU COULD NEVER KILL ME SPIN"
"THEN FIGHT ME" SPIN SAID.
"OH GOD. OKAY." RK SAID.
RK PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
"SHIDO STAND BACK I WANT YOU TO LIVE." SPIN SAID.
"WTF" I SAID.
"OH BOY THIS IS GOING TO BE QUICK" RK SAID.
THEN SPIN PUNCHED RK, BUT RK CAUGHT IT AND PUSHED SPIN BACK.
RK KICKED SPIN AND SPIN FELL DOWN.
RK WALKED OVER TO SPIN. SPIN KICKED THE GOLDEN SWORD AND IT FLEW OVER TO ME.
I CAUGHT IT.
"RUN SHIDO!" SPIN SAID.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" RK SAID.
HE RAN PAST SPIN OVER TO ME AND I JABBED THE SWORD AS HARD AS I COULD INTO RKS STOMACH. HE FELL OVER IN PAIN.
SPIN GOT UP AND WALKED OVER TO RK.
"WOW THIS WAS PRETTY QUICK." SPIN SAID.
SPIN PUT HIS FOOT ON RKS HEAD AND IN ONE INSTANT-RK GRABBED IT AND RIPPED IT OFF.
"AHHHHHHHHH" SPIN SAID. "SHIT!!!@#$$!#@$~~$~"
RK GIPPED SPINS HEAD, BY SMASHING HIS FOOT INTO HIS FACE. SPINS LIFELESS, LEGLESS, HEADLESS BODY FELL DOWN.
BY THEN I WAS RUNNING LIKE FUCKING-I DONT WANNA SAY BECAUSE JAMEZ WOULD ORGASM.
"GET THE FUCK BACK HERE SHIDO" RK SAID.
I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD THROUGH THE THICK JUNGLE. UNFORTUNATLY, I TRIPPED ON M1N1 SLEEPING INSTEAD OF DOING HIS WORK.
THE SWORD SLID IN FRONT OF ME. HYPER STOPPED IT WITH HIS FOOT.
RK SOON CAUGHT UP.
"GREAT JOB M1N1" RK SAID.
"ALWAYS HAPPY TO HELP AN EVIL GOVERNMENT." M1N1 SAID. "JUST LEAVE MY GREEN CARD BEHIND THE HOME DEPOT."
"ALRIGHT LATER!" RK SAID. "LEAVE THE GREEN CARD BEHIND THE HOME DEPOT YEAH RIGHT LMFAO"
"LET ME KILL HIM RK" HYPER SAID.
"NO." RK SAID.
"WHY NOT?" HYPER SAID.
"WE CANT KILL HIM." RK SAID.
"WHY NOT?" HYPER SAID.
"SUNNYS ORDERS" RK SAID.
"SUNNYS A TERRIBLE LEADER. KILL SUNNY, RK. THEN YOU COULD LEAD." HYPER SAID.
"I THINK SUNNY KNOWS WHAT HES DOING HERE. SHIDO KNOWS WHERE CHEF IS, SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS BEAT IT OUT OF HIM." RK SAID.
"CHEFS...ALIVE?" I SAID.
"NO SHIT." RK SAID. "THEY ALL ARE. YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNEW THAT IDIOT."
"OH YEAH...I FORGOT....LUL" I SAID.
"NOW GET UP SHIDO." RK SAID.
"OH YEAH-OH YEAH ILL GET UP!!!" I SAID.
I TRIED TO DO A SPIN KICK ON RK BUT HE STOMPED ON MY LEG.
"OW" I SAID.
HYPER PICKED UP THE SWORD.
"CMON WE DONT NEED SHIDO TO FIND CHEF. YOU KNOW THAT." HYPER SAID.
"I KNOW. BUT SUNNY CANT GO TO HIM AGAIN. REMEMBER LAST TIME?" RK SAID.
"WHO'S HIM? I WANT ANSWERS!" I SAID.
"SHUT UP, SHIDO." RK SAID.
I GOT UP. I HAD REMEMBERED SPINS SACRIFICE. HE DIED SO I COULD TAKE THE SWORD. I WASNT ABOUT TO LET HIM DIE FOR NOTHING.
I PUNCHED HYPER AS HARD AS I COULD, AND WHEN HE FELL BACK I GRABBED THE SWORD. I KICKED HIM OUT OF MY WAY AND STARTED RUNNING AGAIN. RK GRABBED ME, BUT I MANAGED TO GET HIM TO LET GO. I STARTED RUNNING AS FAST AS SO-(JAMEZ:SQUE-)-....ME KIND OF GUY WHO RUNS FAST(JAMEZ:-OH...).
I RAN ALL THE WAY TO THE GREAT CITY OF UNNECESSARYINFRACTIONS. THE CITY WAS FOUNDED BY MOONCHILD AND BASEBALLER.
I WAS ALMOST CLOSE TO GETTING TO AFRICA, WHERE I HOPED CHEF AND EVERYONE WOULD BE.

AS I WALKED TO AFRICA I KNEW I NEEDED TO FIND OUT 2 THINGS. ONE, WHERE CHEF AND EVERYONE WAS, AND TWO IF I HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY 2 SLUSHIES FROM 7/11 TO MAKE A NEW TYPE OF PORN CALLED SLUSHIE PORN. WHEN I REALIZED I ONLY HAD ENOUGH MONEY FOR ONE SLUSHI, I PUT MY GUN IN MY MOUTH BUT I PUSSIED OUT.
FINALLY I CAME TO THE BIGGEST CITY IN AFRICA. IT WAS CALLED STOPMAKINGBLOGSJAMEZ. IT HAD BEEN AROUND FOREVER EVER SINCE THE FOUNDERS OF AFRICA WERE AROUND. THESE FOUNDERS INCLUDED KAYZEE, REBIRTH, 2FAST4U, AND TRISTAR. BUT TRISTAR HUNG KAYZEE, REBIRTH, AND 2FAST4U BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE COLOR OF THEIR SHOES. EVER SINCE THEN, TRISTAR HAS BEEN THE ONE AND ONLY SURVIVING FOUNDER OF AFRICA. HE WOULD BE THE KING, BUT WHEN NR DOMINATED HE HAD NO CHANCE. AND IT SEEMS SWC AND MT HAVE ALREADY TAKEN AFRICA.
I KNEW THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND EVERYONE. ID HAVE TO KNOW WHERE THE NEXT RIDDLE PILLAR WAS. THE PROBLEM WAS, I DIDN'T HAVE THAT MAGICAL STONE THING OR CHEF AND AFRICA IS A BIG CONTINENT.
I WALKED IN STOPMAKINGBLOGSJAMEZ FOR DAYS. I STARTED TO THINK THAT CHEF WASN'T THERE. BUT I WAS WRONG.
AS I GAVE UP AND STARTED WALKING TOWARDS THE EXIT OF STOPMAKINGBLOGSJAMEZ, I SAW NICK. NICK WAS ALONE, BUT I WAS SURE HE COULD LEAD ME TO THE OTHERS.
"HI NICK" I SAID.
"SHIDO WTF" HE SAID. "YOU SRSLY GOTTA LEAVE!!'
"Y" I SAID.
"SWC CAME, THEY CAUGHT CHEF AND ZEN. ME AND JAMEZ ARE HIDING." NICK SAID.
"LOOKS LIKE ITS UP TO ME TO SAVE THE DAY" I SAID.
"NO SHIDO YOU COULD NEVER SAVE THEM! ALL OF SWC IS HERE! WE COULD BARELY HANDLE ONE MEMEBER OF SWC.." NICK SAID.
"WELL NICK SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT" I SAID.
"WOW." NICK SAID. "YOU'RE REALLY GAY."
"YES I AM. NOW WHERES JAMEZ WE HAFFTO FIGHT THESE GUYS" I SAID.
"NO WAY, WE'LL ALL DIE" NICK SAID.
"NICK, WE EITHER DIE TRYING, OR WE LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE OURSELVES DIE." I SAID.
"THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE" NICK SAID.
"THE POINT IS WE HAVE TO FIGHT THEM NICK. NICK, ALL YOUR LIFE YOU'VE BEEN A PUSSY. IVE KNOWN IT, JAMEZ KNOWS IT, WE JUST DIDNT SAY IT TO YOUR FACE BECAUSE WE DIDNT WANT TO HURT YOUR PUSSY FEELINGS. AND NOW, WHEN OUR FRIENDS ARE IN DANGER, YOU CHOOSE TO RUN AND HIDE. NICK WE HAVE TO SHOW SWC WHO'S BOSS." I SAID.
"...IM NOT A PUSSY..." NICK SAID.
"THEN LETS GO FIGHT SWC! NOW WHERES JAMEZ?" I SAID.
"OKAY...HES AT THE CHUCKIE CHEESE OVER THERE." NICK SAID.
"NICK, ITS AFRICA. THE CHUCKIE CHEESES HERE ARE CARDBOARED BOXES WITH A DECK OF CARDS IN THEM." I SAID.
"WELL JAMEZ IS IN THERE." NICK SAID.
"JAMEZ, COME OUT." I SAID.
"NO!" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHY NOT" I SAID.
"BECAUSE RK WILL JUST OWN ME AGAIN." JAMEZ SAID.
"RK...IS THIS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?" I SAID. "NICK, LET ME HAVE A TALK WITH HIM."
I SAT DOWN NEXT TO JAMEZ.
"WHATS GOING ON, SPORT?" I SAID.
"EVERYTIME RK IS HERE HE ALWAYS BEATS ME UP. I MEAN I JUST WANT ONE CHANCE TO TRYJDSLHF TP URWHKDSLK" JAMEZ SAID.
THE REASON HE FUCKED UP AT THE END OF THE SENTANCE WAS BECAUSE HE STARTED CRYING.
"ITS OKAY JAMEZ." I SAID. "LISTEN, RK ALWAYS BEATS ME TOO, AND LOOK AT ME! I CAN DO CARD TRICKS, PLAY VIOLIN, AND I EVEN PLAY NARUTO!"
"HOLY FUCK SHIDO...NO WONDER YOU GET BEAT UP.." JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU! IM JUST TRYING TO HAVE A NICE FAMILY MOMENT HERE BUT YOU HAVE TO FUCKING RUIN EVERYTHING! GOD SOMEONE LIGHT ME UP!" I SAID.
"I GOT A LIGHTER" RK SAID.
"WTF YOU FOUND US?" NICK SAID.
"OF COURSE. ITS AFRICA. JAMEZ WAS HIDING IN THE ONLY "BUILDING" FOR MILES" RK SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT" I SAID.
"NOW ALL OF YOU SURRENDER" RK SAID.
"NEVER RK. I ESCAPED YOU IN SWC AND I CAN JUST RUN AWAY LIKE A PUSSY AGAIN." I SAID.
"I SURRENDER!" JAMEZ SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT JAMEZ." I SAID.
"YEAH WELL...I DONT. IM NOT EVEN GONNA RUN AWAY." NICK SAID.
"NICK??" I SAID.
"WELL I DIDNT KNOW EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS A PUSSY.." NICK SAID.
"WELL FUCK THIS IM RUNNIN!" I SAID.
"NOT SO FAST SHIDO" ZIRO SAID.
ALL OF SWC WAS SURROUNDING US. EXCEPT SUNNY.
"YOU KNOW MORE PEOPLE JUST MEANS THAT YOUR HOSPITOL BILL IS GONNA COST MORE AFTER WE WHOOP ALL YO ASSES" NICK SAID.
"WHOA NICK" JAMEZ SAID. "YOU JUST SAID SOMETHING PROVOKING. HELL HAS FROZE OVER."
"YEAH WELL IM A WHOLE NEW NICK NOW" NICK SAID. 'BRING IT ON"
ALL 3 OF US WERE ON THE GROUND AFTER 5 SECONDS. AND THEY TOOK THE SWORD. AGAIN.
THEY LEAD US TO THEIR HELICOPTER WHERE WE WOULD BE TAKEN PRISNOR. SUNNY WAS THERE.
ALONG THE WAY NICK EXPLAINED WHAT WAS GOING ON.
"WELL YOU SEE SHIDO, BEFORE YOU CAME, ME, JAMEZ, ZEN AND CHEF GOT THE RIDDLE. BUT THEN I BLEW UP THE PILLAR SO SWC WOULD HAVE A HARDER TIME OF GETTING THE GOLDEN ARROW STUFF. THEY GOT REALLY MAD." NICK SAID.
THEY SAT US DOWN NEXT TO CHEF AND ZEN. I WONDERED HOW THEY CAUGHT CHEF IF HE WAS SO POWERFUL.
SUNNY CAME OUT TO TALK TO US.
"OKAY." SUNNY SAID. "ALL WE WANT TO KNOW, IS WHAT THE RIDDLE WAS ON THE RIDDLE PILLAR."
"WHY? I THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHERE THE GOLDEN ARROW WAS?" I SAID.
"WE LIED...SO YOU GUYS WOULD THINK WE WERE COOL..." SUNNY SAID.
"NONE OF US ARE TELLING" ZEN SAID.
"OKAY. I KNOW 2 PEOPLE IN THIS GROUP, WHO ARE AFRAID OF ME." SUNNY SAID. "JAMEZ, YOU WANNA TELL ME WHAT THE RIDDLE WAS?"
"HAHA SUNNY! WE HAVE OUTSMARTED YOU! CHEF TOLD EVERYONE NOT TO TELL ME ANYTHING IMPORTANT!" JAMEZ SAID.
"DAMMIT." SUNNY SAID. "WELL...NICK. WHAT WAS THE RIDDLE."
"..UM" NICK SAID.
"NICK WHAT WAS THE GOD DAMN RIDDLE? I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SMACK YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DONT TELL ME." SUNNY SAID.
"....FINE." NICK SAID.
"NICK, NO!" I SAID.
"THE RIDDLE WAS-" NICK SAID.
"YEAH?" SUNNY SAID.
"THE RIDDLE WAS-YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. FUCK YOU." NICK SAID.
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?" SUNNY SAID. "OKAY, MASTER KILL NICK."
SUNNY WALKED OFF THE HELICOPTER.
"MASTER?' WE ALL SAID.
MASTER CAME OUT. HE LOOKED TIRED.
"CHEF KILLED YOU!" I SAID.
"IM NOT REALLY THAT EASY TO KILL." MASTER SAID.
MASTER TOOK OUT A KNIFE.
"OKAY NICK THIS WONT HURT, YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO DIE." MASTER SAID.
NICK KICKED THE KNIFE OUT OF MASTERS HANDS.
"WTF IS WITH YOU NICK? PUPERTY??" RK SAID. "GIMME THE DAMN KNIFE I'LL DO IT."
NICK PAWNCHED RK RIGHT IN THE FACE. THEN, NICK JUMPED OUT OF THE HELICOPTER AND STARTED RUNNING.
EVERYONE ELSE DID THE SAME.
WE LOST SWC, FAST.
"NICK.." I SAID. "WHAT WAS THE RIDDLE?"
"THE RIDDLE WAS: WHAT IS IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY SNAKEPIT IS FUNNY?" NICK SAID.
"....A MYTH!" I SAID.
"YES, THAT MUST BE IT!" CHEF SAID. "SO FAR WE HAVE HILLS, AND MYTH. HM."

OUR NEXT PILLAR WAS AT EUROPE, AND THEN WE'D BE SAILING TO NORTH AMERICA. I WAS SCARED, BECAUSE MTS CENTRAL BASE WAS IN FLORIDA. CHEF SAID HE DIDNT THINK THAT THE PILLAR WAS THERE THOUGH.
WE HAD TO WALK TO EUROPE BECAUSE ZENKU SAID HE DIDNT FEEL LIKE SWIMMING YET.
"ITS GONNA BE ABOUT A 4 DAY WALK." CHEF SAID.
"WOW RLY CHEF? IN THE OLDEN DAYS IT TOOK EUROPEANS LIKE A MONTH TO REACH AFRICA JUST BY SAILING!" I SAID.
"YES SHIDO, BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING ON OUR SIDE THEY DIDN'T! GOD!" CHEF SAID.
"HOW WILL GOD MAKE US FASTER?" IZZY SAID.
"WELL, HE SHRUNK THE COUNTRIES" CHEF SAID.
"...HE SHRUNK THE COUNTRIES?" I SAID.
"ER-WELL." CHEF SAID. "NO....GOD DIDNT DO ANYTHING. WERE JUST IN WRITERS CONVINENCE MODE. YKNOW WHEN YOU WATCH A MOVIE AND YOUR LIKE 'THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE!' YEAH THATS WHAT WERE DOING RIGHT NOW."
"SUUH-WEET" NICK SAID. "YEAH LETS START WALKING BITCHES AND PLAYING POKER CUZ THATS WHAT NOT PUSSYS DO."
"OH NO NICK" JAMEZ SAID. "YOURE STILL LIKE THIS?"
"YEEEEEAH BABY I REALIZED THIS NICK KICKS ASS DID YOU SEE ME OWN MASTER?" NICK SAID.
"IF NICKS NOT THE PUSSY ANY MORE....THEN JAMEZ IS" I SAID.
"WHAT??" JAMEZ SAID.
"K GUYS SHUT UP WE GOTTA GO" CHEF SAID.
WE WALKED FOR MILES. FINALLY WE CAME UP TO A SMALL VILLAGE.
"WHATS THIS CHEF?" I ASKED.
"DUNNO" CHEF SAID. "SHIDO, GO ASK THAT GUY WHERE WE ARE?"
I WALKED UP TO THE MOTHERFUCKER.
"UM HI....COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE WE ARE?" I SAID.
"OH HELLO THERE!" THE GUY SAID. "THIS IS A MILITARY BASE FOR MAJESTIC TRAGEDY."
"OOOOOOFUCK" I SAID.
"YOU ALL LOOK DIRTY AND STARVED. WHY DONT YOU GO INSIDE ONE OF THESE BUILDINGS." HE SAID.
"UUUUH NO THATS OKAY...WE RLY SHOULD BE GOING." I SAID.
"UM OKAY, WELL....WHERE YOU FROM?" THE GUY SAID.
".....UHH WE WERE FROM NOT NR." I SAID.
"YOU SHOULD REALLY COME INSIDE I CANT JUST LET YOU LEAVE." THE GUY SAID.
"NO" I SAID.
"YA" HE SAID.
"NO" I SAID.
"I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER" HE SAID.
"NO" I SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT YOU ARE GOING TO COME IN AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT" HE SAID.
"NO!" I SAID AND I STABBED HIM.
SOME OTHER SOLDIERS SAW.
"HE KILLED SELKIE!" A GUY SAID.
"OOOOOOOOH FUCK" CHEF SAID.
THEY ALL AIMED THEIR GUNS AT US.
"MEN, PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN." A MAN SAID STEPPING FOWARD. "NR SURVIVORS SWC HAS BEEN TELLING US ABOUT, I PRESUME?"
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU" ZENKU SAID.
"DARKY." HE SAID.
"WERENT YOU IN SMAC? YOU KNOW, THE CLAN SWC KILLED?" I SAID.
"NO, I LEFT RIGHT BEFORE THAT INCIDENT TO TAKE UP AN OFFER BY DAN AS SECOND IN COMMAND." DARKY SAID.
"OH" I SAID.
"NOW, YOU DID KILL SELKIE. HES REALLY NICE, I DONT GET IT" DARKY SAID.
"WE WERE GONNA GET CAUGHT" I SAID.
"....." EVERYONE SAID.
"WELL, INSTEAD OF KILLING YOU....I'LL MAKE THINGS INTERESTING." DARKY SAID.
"HOW SO" CHEF SAID.
"A TOURNAMENT." DARKY SAID. "A SMALL ONE. BASICALLY, CHOOSE ONE OF YOUR MEN....EXCLUDING THE ANGEL OVER THERE....AND I'LL CHOOSE THREE OF MINE. YOUR GUY DEFEATS ALL MY GUYS I LET YOU GO. HE DOESNT, YOU ALL DIE."
"HMM...WE HAVE TO ACCEPT." CHEF SAID. "ITS FAIR."
"AWWWW YEAH LET ME GO CHEF!" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO YOU IDIOT, YOULL KILL US ALL." CHEF SAID. "SHIDOS GOING, OF COURSE."
"ME?" I SAID.
"YEAH SHIDO, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE BEST FIGHTER HERE BESIDES ME. IF I CANT GO, YOU HAVE TO." CHEF SAID. "TAKE THE SWORD."
NICK HANDED ME THE SWORD. I FORGOT HE STILL HAD IT.
"I HAVE MY THREE MEN, YOU HAVE YOURS?" DARKY SAID.
"YEAH, I DO." CHEF SAID. "SHIDO GO OVER THERE."
I WALKED OVER THERE WITH THE SWORD.
DARKY PUSHED ONE OF HIS GUYS FORWARD.
"WHO ARE YOU" I SAID.
"MY NAME IS JUNIOR AND YOU HAVE DISGRACED MY HONOR YOU FUCKER" JUNIOR SAID.
"WELL...OKAY IT WAS KIND OF YOUR ARMY THAT ATTACKED MINE AND DESTROYED INNOCENT LIVES AND IS PLANNING TO KILL GOD, SO I DONT SEE HOW YOU COULD HAVE HONOR." I SAID.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH" JUNIOR SAID.
"....IM JUST STATING FACTS..." I SAID.
"GRRRRRR" JUNIOR SAID.
"FIGHT ALREADY GOD" JAMEZ SAID.
JUNIOR PULLED OUT A SHOTGUN.
"HOW THE HELL IS THAT FAIR" I SAID.
"SHIDO THE SWORD IS MORE POWERFUL!" CHEF SAID.
"BULLSHIT" I SAID.
JUNIOR SHOT BUT HE MISSED ME.
"SHITHZSIHSITHIHIHITHISHISHTISHISTHTISHISHT" I SAID.
I SLICED THE SWORD AND IT GOT STUCK IN HIS SHOTGUN. BUT NOT ENOUGH TO DAMAGE IT OF COURSE.
"FUCK I SUCK" I SAID.
I ROLLED ON THE GROUND BEFORE JUNIOR SHOT HIS NEXT SHOT, DODGING IT.
JUNIOR KICKED ME IN THE RIBS WHILE I WAS ON THE GROUND.
I GOT BACK UP AND GRABBED ONTO THE SHOTGUN. HE PULLED THE TRIGGER BUT I PUSHED IT UP INTO THE AIR, SO IT SHOT INTO THE SKY.
I KICKED JUNIOR DOWN AND GOT THE SHOTGUN/SWORD.
"IDK HOW TO USE A SHOTGUN!!" I SAID.
"HOWD YOU GET IN THE NR ARMY YOU FAG??" ZEN SAID.
"IDK!!" I SAID.
JUNIOR GOT BACK UP AND PULLED OUT A KNIFE. I WAS RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO THINK SO I DID THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF. TAKING THE HANDLE OF THE SWORD WHILE IT WAS STUCK IN THE SHOTGUN, I VERY WOBBILY BROUGHT IT UP, AND BASHED JUNIORS HEAD IN WITH HIS OWN SHOTGUN 7 TIMES.
BLOOD WAS ALL OVER THE SHOTGUN, AND THE SWORD CAME LOOSE AND I PULLED IT UP.
"PLEASE DONT KILL ME PLEASE DONT KILL ME" JUNIOR SAID WHILE CRAWLING ON THE GROUND.
I CRUSHED HIS HEAD WITH MY FOOT.
"GGRRR" DARKY SAID. "CMON HAN, LETS GO!"
A NEW GUY STEPPED OUT OF THE FIELD.
"SUP" I SAID.
"AH-HA!" HAN SAID.
A WHIP WRAPPED ME TOGETHER.
"WTF? THE FIGHT DIDNT EVEN START YET!" I SAID.
"I DONT CARE!" HAN SAID. "I'LL USE MY WHIP TO BAN YOU TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT!"
"...FIGHT" DARKY SAID.
HAN PULLED HIS WHIP AND I FELL DOWN. I LOST THE SWORD AND HE PICKED IT UP.
"HEY!" I SAID.
"HA! I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT IT LOOKS AWESOME!" HAN SAID.
HE TREID TO STAB ME BUT I DODGED HIM.
"SHIDO!" CHEF SAID.
"WHAT?" I SAID.
"I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, BUT YOU CAN MAKE THE SWORD COME BACK TO YOU!" CHEF SAID.
I DODGED HANS SLICE.
"WE LOST THE SWORD LIKE 50 TIMES, AND YOURE JUST NOW TELLING ME I CAN MAKE IT COME BACK TO ME?!?!" I SAID.
"YOU WERENT READY YET!" CHEF SAID. "BUT YOU ARE NOW!"
I KICKED HAN DOWN.
"HOW DO I DO IT?" I SAID.
"STARE AT THE SWORD FOR 6 SECONDS STRAIGHT!!" CHEF SAID.
I TRIED BUT I HAD TO DODGE IT TOO.
I PUNCHED HAN IN THE FACE.
AS HE STUMBLED BACK, I GOT MY 6 SECONDS OF STARING.
THE SWORD STARTED GLOWING AND IT FLOATED SLOWLY BACK TO ME.
"WTF?" HAN SAID.
"NICE!" I SAID.
HAN TOOK HIS WHIP OUT. AS HE TRIED TO WRAP ME TOGETHER AGAIN...OR BAN ME...I GOT IT IN HALF. HIS WHIP WAS USLESS.
"GOD DAMMIT" HE SAID.
I TOOK MY SWORD AND SLICED HIM IN HALF. SINCE THE HEAD LIVES FOR 10 SECONDS AFTER IT IS CUT-OFF FROM CIRCULATION, I USED HIS LAST 10 SECONDS OF LIFE TO TAKE A SHIT IN HIS MOUTH.
"HOLY SHIT" DARKY SAID. "IS THAT PURPLE??"
"I LIKE GRAPES OKAY" I SAID.
"WELL..." DARKY SAID. "YOU KILL THE FIRST TWO MEN. NOW YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE THIRD."
"WHERE IS HE" I SAID.
"ITS ME.." DARKY SAID.
"THAS NOT FAIR!" CHEF SAID.
"...WH....WHY ISNT IT FAIR CHEF?" I SAID.
"BECAUSE DARKYS A DEMON THATS WHY!" CHEF SAID.
"YOU WAIT UNTIL THIS VERY SECOND TO TELL US." ZEN SAID. "NICE."
"WELL, I DIDNT WANT TO SCARE YOU GUYS, BUT THIS IS JUST UNFAIR." CHEF SAID.
"CHEF, WE ONLY SAID YOU COULDNT BE IN THE FIGHT, WE NEVER SAID I COULDNT." DARKY SAID.
DARKY STEPPED FOWARD.
"GREAT I COULD BARELY FIGHT A GUY WITH A SHOTGUN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT A DEMON??" I SAID.
"IM FIGHTING HIM, SHIDO" CHEF SAID.
"NO YOU'RE NOT." DARKY SAID. "OR I HAVE ALL MY MEN KILL ALL OF YOU. YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW OUR RULES, CHEF."
"DAMMIT" CHEF SAID.
"CHEF WHAT DO WE DO?" ZEN SAID.
"WE PRAY, ZEN. WE PRAY TO GOD TO HELP US SAVE THE WORLD." JAMEZ SAID.
"STFU JAMEZ GOD FUCKING ISNT GONNA HELP US. HES TOO BUSY TRYING TO BEAT LEGO BATMAN" CHEF SAID. "WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN SHIDO."
"READY?" DARKY SAID.
"YEAH I GUESS" I SAID.
DARKY BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME. LIKE, HARD.
AT LAST HE PICKED UP THE SWORD.
"YES!" DARKY SAID. "I DID IT!"
I GOT UP.
"WHY ARE YOU GETTING UP?" DARKY SAID. "JUST LIE DOWN I'LL LET YOU LIVE."
"NNNNNNO" I SAID. "IM NOT LETTING YOU WIN"
"HOW ARE YOU GOING TO BEAT ME" DARKY SAID.
"OH IDK MAYBE LIKE....THIS!" I SAID.
I PUNCHED DARKY IN THE STOMACH AS HARD AS I COULD.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWW" I SAID. "OWOWOWOWOW"
"KILL THEM." DARKY SAID.
THE MT SOLDIERS PICKED UP THEIR GUNS. DARKY STARTED WALKING AWAY FROM ME.
IN ONE LAST EFFORT, I PICKED UP THE DISCARED SHOTGUN AND SLAMMED IT INTO DARKYS BACK.
"AH!" DARKY SAID FALLING TO THE GROUND.
I GRABBED DARKY AND THE SWORD. I PRESSED THE SWORD AGAINST DARKYS NECK.
"BACK OFF! BACK OFF!" I SAID. "OR ILL KILL THE SECOND IN COMMAND!"
THE MT SOLDIERS PUT DOWN THEIR GUNS.
"NOW, WERE GONNA LEAVE HERE." I SAID. "BUT FIRST...ZEN, STILL GOT THOSE BOMBS?"
"I ALWAYS CARRY AROUND MY BOMBS SHIDO" ZEN SAID. "WHY?"
"...WHY DO YOU THINK" I SAID.
"OH" ZEN SAID.
ZEN THREW A BOMB AT THE SOLDIERS. THEY ALL BLEW UP, THEYRE BODY PARTS FLYING EVERYWHERE. I MEAN, WE HAD TO STOP AND THROW UP BECAUSE IT WAS SO GROSS. I THREW UP SO MUCH I THINK I LOST A TOOTH. HYPERS SPERM CAME OUT OF JAMEZ. IT WAS JUST INSANE.
FINALLY WHEN WE GOT INTO THE WOODS, I TOSSED DARKY DOWN.
"GAH" DARKY SAID.
"NOW YOU DIE" I SAID.
"NUP" DARKY SAID.
SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING FROZE EXCEPT FOR ME AND DARKY.
"NOW." DARKY SAID. "I THINK WE SHOULD TALK"
"ABOUT WHAT?" I SAID.
"CHEFS BEEN KEEPING THINGS FROM YOU" DARKY SAID.
"LIKE WHAT?" I SAID.
"SUNNY FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT STORY HE TOLD YOU GUYS. ABOUT BRADLY AND ALL THAT." DARKY SAID. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO BRADLY IS?"
"WELL....NO NOT EXACTLY" I SAID.
"LMAO. HERE." DARKY SAID.
HE HANDED ME A SMALL YELLOW BALL.
"WHAT IS THIS?" I SAID.
"ITS MAGIC." DARKY SAID. "GOD SEALED BRADLY, BUT BRADLY WAS A MASTER OF MAGIC. HE OUTSMARTED GOD. IN EUROPE THERE IS A GOLDEN WELL, DROP THE YELLOW BALL INTO THERE, AND YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO BRADLYS LAIR. AND IM SURE BRADLY WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING CHEF HAS KEPT FROM YOU."
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" I SAID.
"BECAUSE YOU NEED TO REALIZE WHATS BEEN GOING ON THIS WHOLE TIME." DARKY SAID. "AND DONT TELL CHEF, K? HELL ONLY STEAL THE BALL FROM YOU BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH."
"I--OKAY." I SAID.
EVERYTHING UNFROZE, BUT DARKY DISSAPEARED.
"HE USED THE FREEZE SPELL DIDNT HE?" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH" I SAID.
"WHAT HAPPENED WHILE WE WERE FROZEN?" CHEF SAID.
"..NOTHING.' I SAID.

I STILL HAD ALOT OF QUESTIONS AS WE WALKED UP TO EUROPE. WHY DIDNT DARKY KILL ME? WHO WAS BRADLY? WHO WAS I?
WE HAD 3 DAYS LEFT UNTIL WE REACHED EUROPE. EVERYONE WAS TIRED.
"OKAY GUYS, WERE GONNA STOP AT THIS MCDONALDS" CHEF SAID.
"HYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES" IZZY SAID.
"CHEF I THINK WE SHOULD JUST KEEP GOING" I SAID. "I MEAN, EVERY TIME WE STOP SOMEWHERE WE ALWAYS SEE SWC, OR SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS AND THEN I HAVE TO GET US OUT OF IT. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICES THIS?"
"SHIDO NAME 5 TIMES THATS HAPPENED." JAMEZ SAID.
"CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15" I SAID.
"HM...THE ASIAN DOES HAVE A POINT" IZZY SAID.
"SO WHAT IM HEARING IS YOU TWO ARE PUSSYS. UNLIKE ME." NICK SAID.
"SHUT UP NICK" I SAID.
"LOL IZZY AND SHIDO ARE GAY FOR EACHOTHER" JAMEZ SAID.
"WTF" I SAID.
"WERE STOPPING SO DEAL WITH IT" CHEF SAID.
"WELL IM NOT STOPPING." I SAID.
"YEAH NIETHER AM I" IZZY SAID.
"WELL IM STOPPING CUZ IM NOT A PUSSY AND THATS WHAT NOT PUSSYS DO" NICK SAID.
"YEAH ME FOUR" JAMEZ SAID.
"FINE, SHIDO. YOU AND IZZY CAN KEEP GOING AND WE'LL CATCH UP TO YOU LATER." CHEF SAID.
"FINE" I SAID.
ME AND IZZY STARTED WALKING AGAIN. WELL IZZY WAS MORE ROLLING I GUESS BUT WHATEVER.
WE FINALLY GOT TO AN OLD HIGHWAY. THERE WERE ABANDONNED CARS EVERY WHERE.
"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" IZZY SAID.
"AN ATTACK MAYBE?" I SAID.
"ON WHO? THE ONLY COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD RULE IT TOGETHER" IZZY SAID.
"MAYBE NOT." I SAID.
"..HEY!" A VOICE SHOUTED FROM INSIDE ONE OF THE CARS. "HELP ME!"
I WALKED OVER TO THE CAR.
INSIDE WAS AN OLD PATHETIC MAN.
"WEVE BEEN TRAPPED HERE FOR WEEKS MAN" HE SAID.
"WHOA WHOA WHOA, CALM DOWN" I SAID. "WHO ARE YOU"
"MY NAMES MUDD MAN" THE OLD MAN SAID.
"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" IZ-HAVE I BEEN CALLING HIM IZZY THIS WHOLE TIME? WOW. ZENKU SAID.
"WE WERE ATTACKED MAN" MUDD SAID.
"BY WHO?" I SAID.
"SOME REBEL SOLDIERS MAN" MUDD SAID.
"REBEL SOLDIERS?" I SAID.
"YEAH MAN. SOME REBELS WHO ARE AGAINST MT AND SWC" MUDD SAID.
"WAIT SO YOU'RE IN MT?" IZZY SAID.
"YEAH MAN" MUDD SAID.
IZZY SHOT MUDD IN THE HEAD.
"REBELS? DID WE STOP THROUGH HERE OR SOMETHING?" I SAID.
"I DONT THINK SO. THIS IS THE FIRST HIGHWAY IVE SEEN FOR MONTHS." IZZY SAID.
"AH-HA! STOP RIGHT THERE!" SOME OTHER GUY SAID.
"OH GOD WHOS THIS." I SAID.
"WE ARE THE MT REBELS!" THE GUY SAID.
"NO. WERE THE REBELS." IZZY SAID.
"WE WERE ASHAMED AT HOW MT HAD BECOME A DICTATORSHIP-" HE SAID.
"THEYRE TRYING TO KILL GOD." I SAID.
"SO WE CREATED OUR OWN ALLIANCE TO STOP THEM! OF COURSE IT IS SUPER SECRET! THEYVE BEEN USING ALL THEIR POWER TO TRY AND STOP US-"
"NO THEYVE BEEN TRYING TO STOP US" I SAID.
"BUT WE KEEP GOING! WELL STOP THEM IF ITS THE LAST THING WE DO!" HE SAID.
"WHO THE HELL THINKS THEYRE A BIG DEAL TO EVERYONE ELSE WHEN THEYRE REALLY NOTHING?" IZZY SAID.
"MY NAME IS TRISTAR!" HE SAID.
"THE LEADER OF AFRICA? SUPPOSEDLY.." I SAID.
"YES. IVE BEEN PROTECTING THIS PLACE FOR A WEEK. MTS BEEN SENDING THEIR SOLDIERS OTHER PLACES NOW." TRISTAR SAID.
"YEAH TO FIGHT US" I SAID.
"WERE GONNA FIGHT TIL THE END NO MATTER WHAT" TRISTAR SAID.
"DUDE YOU'RE NOT STOPPING ANYONE. WE ARE." I SAID. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE GOLDEN ITEMS"
"EVEN THOUGH THEYRE STRONGER THAN US, ITS OUR HOME THAT MAKES US STRONG. WE FIGHT FOR OUR HOME, OUR FREEDOM. LIKE AMERICA DID TO BRITAIN. LIKE BRITAIN DID TO GERMANY. LIKE VIETNAM DID TO AMERICA." TRISTAR SAID.
"DUDE, I DONT CARE. WERE THE REBELS, NOT YOU LAST MINUTE WANNABE HEROES." I SAID.
"MEET MY TEAM" TRISTAR SAID.
"DUDE...NO!" I SAID.
"FLAMINGRA! HE CRUSHES MT WITH THE GREY SWORD!" TRISTAR SAID.
"EVERY SWORD IS GREY YOU JACKOFF" IZZY SAID.
"ICORNA! HE LOVES A BLUE JAPANESE CHARACTER THAT HAPPENS TO BE AN ANIMAL. HE IS ALSO RATHER STUPID, AND EVEN THOUGH WE DONT SHOW IT, WE ALL LIKE HIM." TRISTAR SAID.
"I DONT CARE." I SAID.
"VANA! WHILE RATHER SHY, HE STILL PROVES TO BE A GOOD ADDITION TO THE TEAM. HE RECENTLY HAS BEEN TRYING TO PROVE HES NOT A PUSSY." TRISTAR SAID.
"EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM IS A PUSSY" IZZY SAID.
"REDD! WHILE HES A LITTLE SARCASTIC AND RLY FAT, WE STILL LOVE HIM. HE CANT STAND ICORNA THOUGH." TRISTAR.
"WAIT...IM STARTING TO NOTICE SOMETHING HERE.." I SAID.
"AND FINALLY ME! TRISTAR! I WAS THE STRONGEST ANGEL IN HEAVEN, AND GOD SENT ME DOWN HERE TO PROTECT ALL OF YOU." TRISTAR SAID.
"BULL. FUCKING. SHIT" I SAID.
"DUDE YOU JUST COPIED OUR TEAM" IZZY-GOD DAMMIT IM JUST CALLING HIM IZZY FROM NOW ON- SAID.
"TOGETHER, WE ARE ENR!" TRISTAR SAID.
"OKAY DUDE, THIS IS BULL. YOU COPIED OUR TEAM." I SAID.
"TEAM?" TRISTAR SAID.
"YES. WE ARE THE REAL REBEL ALLIANCE. NOT YOU." I SAID.
"OH YEAH? PROVE IT" REDD SAID.
"WELL...THE REST OF THE TEAM IS AT MCDONALDS...SO..." I SAID.
"HA!" TRISTAR SAID. "BEGONE, IMPOSTERS!"
"DUDE I BET YOU DIDNT EVEN KILL THESE GUYS. I BET A HURRICANE CAME THROUGH HERE AND YOU TOOK THE CREDIT FOR IT." IZZY SAID.
"ER-BEGONE I SAID!" TRISTAR SAID.
"NO" I SAID.
I PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
"SEE THIS? THIS IS A GOLDEN SWORD! THE MOST POWERFUL THING IN THE WORLD BESIDES THE GOLDEN ARROWS." I SAID.
"EVERY SWORD IS GOLD, JACKOFF." REDD SAID.
"WTF?? NO IT ISNT!" I SAID.
"WE WILL KILL ALL YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW. WE DONT EVEN NEED OUR TEAM." IZZY SAID.
"HEY YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY COOL CAN I JOIN YOUR TEAM?" FLAMINGRA SAID.
"SURE." I SAID.
FLAMINGRA JOINED YOUR TEAM!
"NO MATTER FLAMINGRA SUCKS ANYWAYS" TRISTAR SAID.
"e~e" FLAMING RA SAID.
"GUYS! LETS KILL THEM!" TRISTAR SAID.
I TOOK THE GOLDEN SWORD AND SLICED ICORNA IN HALF IMMEDIATLY.
ZENKU ROLLED ON VANA AND VANA BLEW UP.
FLAMINGRA STABBED THE GREY SWORD INTO RED, BUT IT GOT STUCK.
"HAHAHAHAHA" REDD SAID.
THEN I CUT REDDS HEAD OFF.
THE ONLY ONE LEFT WAS TRISTAR.
"OH NO OH NO OH NO" TRISTAR SAID. "PLEASE GUYS DONT KILL ME"
"WHY SHOULDNT WE?" I SAID.
"...ALL MY LIFE..." TRISTAR SAID. "...I JUST WANTED TO BE ACCEPTED. IN MIDDLE SCHOOL NOBODY WOULD BE MY FRIEND BECAUSE MY NAME WAS THE SAME NAME AS A FILM STUDIO. I WENT THOUGH HIGHSCHOOL GETTING DAILY BEATINGS. THEN WHEN I GREW UP I MOVED TO FRIENDCODIA WHICH AT THE TIME WAS IN AFRICA TOO. THERE I KISSED ASS TO BE ACCEPTED. WHILE PEOPLE DIDNT LIKE ME AT ALL, MY ASS KISSING DID GET ME TO THE LEADER OF AFRICA, RIGHT NEXT TO KEL, AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT WAS MENTION 2 CHAPTERS AGO. I KILLED THEM ALL. THAT WAY, AS THE SINGLE LEADER, ID GET MORE RESPECT. WHEN MT AND SWC TOOK OVER, THEY DISMISSED ME AS LEADER. I FINALLY FORMED THIS REBEL GROUP TO BECOME A HERO. THAT WAY, PEOPLE WOULD FINALLY LIKE ME. PLEASE DONT KILL ME. LET ME JOIN YOUR GROUP."
"NO." IZZY SAID BLOWING TRISTARS HEAD OFF.
"WHAT NOW?" FLAMINGRA SAID.
"LETS STOP HERE AND WAIT FOR THE REST TO CATCH UP" IZZY SAID.
"YEAH." I SAID.
"DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY STOP HERE???" SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLEW DOWN FROM THE SKY.
"GOD. DAMMIT." I SAID.
"WHO THE HELL IS THIS" SUNNY SAID.
"FLAMINGRA" I SAID.
"OH."
"WHOA NICE ENTERANCE! CAN I JOIN YOUR GROUP?" FLAMINGRA SAID.
"SURE." SUNNY SAID.
FLAMINGRA LEFT YOUR TEAM!
"WHAT THE HELL" I SAID.
"KILL THE FAT ONE" SUNNY SAID.
"YESSIR." RA SAID.
"WAIT..." ZEN SAID. "DONT KILL ME"
"AS YOU WISH" RA SAID.
"WTF?" SUNNY SAID. "KILL HIM"
"OF COURSE SIR" RA SAID.
"DONT" ZEN SAID.
"OF COURSE" RA SAID.
"WHAT THE HELL?" I SAID.
"HES FROM THE KISSASS TRIBE. THEY MUST PLEASE EVERYONE THEY MEET." ZENKU SAID.
"YOU ARE RIGHT YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT" RA SAID.
"KILL HIM" SUNNY SAID.
"NO" ZEN SAID.
"YES" SUNNY SAID.
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
THEN FLAMINGRAS HEAD EXPLODED.
"HE COULDNT HANDLE IT" ZENKU SAID. "IVE HAD EXPIRIENCE WITH THESE STRANGE CREATURES BEFORE."
"WHATEVER I DIDNT EVEN NEED HIM" SUNNY SAID. "ALL I WANT IS SHIDO AND THE SWORD"
"YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THE SWORD." ZEN SAID.
"LOOK ZEN WE OBVIOUSLY CANT FIGHT SUNNY. WE SHOULD JUST-LOOK PORN" I SAID.
"WHAT WHAR" SUNNY SAID FLIPPING AROUND.
"RUN!" I SAID.
ME AND ZEN STARTED RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES.
"GET BACK HERE!" SUNNY SAID. "I DONT SEE THE PORN"
I TRIPPED AND THE SWORD SLID IN FRONT OF ME. SUNNY PICKED ME UP.
"OKAY NOW YOU'RE COMING WITH ME" SUNNY SAID.
"PUT HIM DOWN, SUNNY." CHEF SAID.
CHEF PICKED UP THE SWORD.
SUNNY THREW ME ON THE GROUND.
JAMEZ, NICK, AND ZEN ALL WAITED BEHIND CHEF. I CRAWLED OVER THERE AS WELL.
"I HAVE OFFICIALLY HAD ENOUGH OF YOU" CHEF SAID.
"OH SHIT" JAMEZ SAID. "CHEF YOU'RE GONNA DIE"
"THE FURRY IS RIGHT. YOU KNOW YOU CANT BEAT ME. THERES ONLY ONE WHO CAN BEAT ME." SUNNY SAID.
"WELL HES NOT HERE." CHEF SAID. "SO IM GONNA KILL YOU FOR HIM."
"YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?" SUNNY SAID.
"ARE YOU GONNA FIGHT ME OR NOT?" CHEF SAID.
"YEAH I'LL FIGHT YOU. BUT ONCE I KILL YOU, THESE IDIOTS ARE GOING TO CRASH AND BURN." SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY PULLED OUT THE GOLDEN SHIELD.
"WHERES MY ARMOR" CHEF SAID.
"RKS USING IT. THEYRE DESTROYING EUROPE RIGHT NOW" SUNNY SAID.
"GUYS IM NOT GOING TO LIE" NICK SAID. "IM SCARED."
"HA I KNEW IT NICKS A PUSSY" JAMEZ SAID.
CHEF RAN UP TO SUNNY, AND SLASHED THE SWORD BUT SUNNY PROTECTED HIMSELF WITH THE SHIELD. HE KICKED CHEF AND CHEF ROLLED BACK. CHEF HELD ONTO THE SWORD AS BEST HE COULD.
SUNNY WALKED OVER TO CHEF AND KICKED HIM IN THE STOMACH ONCE. TWICE. THRICE. FINALLY CHEF STUCK THE SWORD INTO SUNNYS LEG.
"FFFFFUCK" SUNNY SAID STOMPING ON CHEF.
CHEF PULLED OUT THE SWORD AND PUSHED SUNNY OVER. CHEF GOT UP.
SUNNY ALSO GOT UP.
HE TOOK THE SHIELD AND SMACKED CHEF'S FACE WITH IT. CHEF STUMBLED BACK, AND SUNNY SMACKED HIS FACE AGAIN. CHEF STUMBLED BACK AGAIN AND SUNNY SMASHED THE SHIELD INTO CHEFS FACE.
CHEF ALMOST LOST HIS BALANCE, BUT HE STILL STOOD UP.
"EARTH" CHEF SAID.
A GIANT FLASH OF WHITE APPEARED AS ALWAYS AND THE GROUND STARTED SHAKING LIKE CRAZY. TRESS WERE FALLING OVER AND THE HIGHWAY WAS JUST FALLING APART.
I COULD BARELY CONCENTRATE ON THE FIGHT, BUT I SAW CHEF PUNCHING SUNNY AS HE FELL OVER.
A TREE FELL ONTOP OF JAMEZ.
"CRAP!" JAMEZ SAID. "HELP! SOMEONE!"
ME AND ZEN LIFTED THE TREE OFF OF JAMEZ.
"THANKS GUYS" JAMEZ SAID.
THE RUMBLING STOPPED AND SUNNY WAS ABLE TO GET BACK UP. BUT CHEF KICKED HIM BACK DOWN AGAIN. SUNNY KICKED CHEF IN THE FACE AND CHEF LET GO OF THE SWORD. IT WENT FLYING TOWARDS ME.
CHEF STARTED TO GO GET IT, BUT SUNNY KNOCKED HIM OVER WITH THE SHIELD AND SPRINTED FOR IT.
"CHEF! MAKE IT COME BACK TO YOU!" I SAID.
"I CANT SHIDO!" CHEF YELLED.
HE COULDN'T?
I SLID TO THE SWORD AND GRABBED IT BEFORE SUNNY. HE PUNCHED ME AND I FELL DOWN. I THREW THE SWORD TO JAMEZ. JAMEZ THREW THE SWORD TO NICK.
SUNNY GRABBED NICKS HEAD AND SLAMMED IT ON A TREE. ZEN BODY SLAMMED SUNNY, AND SUNNY WENT FLYING.
NICK TOSSED THE SWORD TO CHEF.
SUNNY GOT BACK UP.
"FIRE" CHEF SAID.
THE USUAL FLASH OF WHITE CAME AND WHEN IT DISAPEARED I SAW A RAY OF FIRE SHOOTING ONTO SUNNY SHIELD. SUNNY WALKED FOWARD, SO THE RAY KEPT GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER.
I THINK CHEF WAS ACTUALLY SCARED OF SUNNY. I DIDNT THINK CHEF COULD GET SCARED. WHATEVER SCARED AN ANGEL HAD TO BE PRETTY EVIL.
SUNNY FINALLY GOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO CHEF THAT HE JUST PUNCHED HIM. CHEF FUMBLED OVER A LITTLE, BUT THE RAY OF FIRE WENT IN EVERY DIRECTION, CAUSE THE TREES THAT FEEL FROM THE EARTHQUAKE TO CATCH ON FIRE. CARS ALSO STARTED BURNING CREATING A BUNCH OF SMOKE.
I STARTED COUGHING. I COULD BARELY SEE ANYMORE. SUNNY WAS BEATING CHEF DOWN WITH THE SHIELD. CHEFS ENTIRE FACE WAS BLEEDING FROM THE SHIELD.
I RAN THROUGH THE FIRE TO HELP CHEF. I PUNCHED SUNNY, BUT HE JUST KNOCKED ME BACK WITH THE SHIELD.
IT WAS THE WORST PAIN I EVER FELT.
I DIDNT KNOW WHERE ZEN, JAMEZ, OR NICK WERE. I COULDNT SEE ANYTHING BUT FIRE AND I COULDNT SMEEL ANYTHING BUT SMOKE. BUT I FELT SUNNY PICK ME UP.
THEN I DROPPED. I HEARD SOME SCREAMING. IT WASNT UNTIL A MINUTE LATER I REALIZED CHEF STABBED SUNNY.
I LOOKED AS HARD AS I COULD. I SAW SOMEONE ON THE GROUND AND SOMEONE RUNNING AWAY.
"CHEF!" I COUGHED. "HELP ME!!"
I CRAWLED OVER TO THE BODY LAYING DOWN.
IT WAS CHEF.
"CHEF!!" I YELLED.
"IM DYING SHIDO...." HE SAID.
"NO NO YOU CANT DIE! WE NEED YOU!" I SAID.
"SUNNY WAS TOO DAMAGED. HE HAD TO GET BACK TO SWC IMMEDIATLY. BUT I WOULD LET HIM HAVE THE SWORD..." CHEF SAID.
CHEF WEAKILY HANDED ME THE SWORD.
"CHEF NO PLEASE" I SAID.
"I KNOW THERE WAS SO MUCH LEFT FOR ME TO TEACH YOU SHIDO." CHEF SAID. "BUT ITS TIME FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO TEACH YOU. I KNOW WHAT DARKY GAVE YOU.."
"CHEF PLEASE DONT GO" I SAID. "WHOS GOING TO PROTECT US?"
"ITS YOUR JOB TO PROTECT EVERYONE NOW SHIDO.." CHEF SAID. "I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN...SOME DAY..."
AND THEN CHEF'S EYES CLOSED. I COULDNT BELIEVE HE WAS ACTUALLY KILLED.
"CMON WE GOTTA GO!" I HEARD JAMEZ YELL.
HE PICKED ME UP AND DRAGGED ME OUT OF THE FIRE.
I REALLY WISHED I HAD STOPPED AT MCDONALDS THAT DAY.

"GUYS CHEF IS DEAD WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW" I SAID.
"SHIDO WE DIDNT NEED CHEF" JAMEZ SAID.
"WTF YES WE DID" ZEN SAID.
"NO. YOU GUYS HAVE ME. YOU ALWAYS DID." JAMEZ SAID.
"STFU JAMEZ" NICK SAID. "WELL, IM GOING TO BUY A HOME IN SWC. SHOULD PROBABLY BUY IT WHILE PRICES ARE LOW BECAUSE YOU KNOW AFTER THE FALL OF GOD ITS JUST GOING TO GO UP"
"I GUESS I'LL MOVE BACK IN WITH MY MOM." ZEN SAID.
"NO GUYS" JAMEZ SAID. "WE NEED TO FINISH THIS WITHOUT CHEF. CHEF SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO WE COULD GO ON AND CONTINUE WHAT HE STARTED. I KNOW IM NOT VERY SMART AND IM NOT EXACTLY THE LEADER YOUD ALL WANT BUT ITS UP TO US TO SAVE THE WORLD. WE DIDNT COME THIS FAR TO QUIT NOW. I MEAN...10 YEARS FROM NOW...DO YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR KIDS YOU DIDNT HAVE THE GUTS TO SAVE GOD?"
"YES." ZEN SAID. "IM OUT OF HERE."
ZEN WALKED OFF.
"NICK" JAMEZ SAID. "YOU WANTED TO PROVE YOU WERE A HERO. IF YOU LEAVE YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE A PUSSY AGAIN."
"OKAY, BUT I'LL BE A PUSSY WHO'S STILL ALIVE." NICK SAID. "SEE YOU IN HELL JAMEZ."
NICK WALKED AWAY.
"...SHIDO?" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GIVE UP." I SAID.
"FUCK YOU SHIDO" JAMEZ SAID. "CHEF SAVED YOUR ASS. HE WANTED YOU TO GO ON. HE WANTED ALL OF US TO GO ON."
"JAMEZ...WE CANT TAKE ON SWC WITHOUT CHEF AND YOU KNOW IT." I SAID.
"MAYBE NOT BUT WERE NEVER GOING TO KNOW IF WE DONT TRY." JAMEZ SAID. "BUT I DO KNOW THIS. ME AND YOU WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HAVE SUNNYCIDE AS GOD. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?"
I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE.
"OKAY JAMEZ. IM WITH YOU." I SAID.
I RLY DIDNT HAVE ANY WHERE ELSE TO GO AND HE WAS RIGHT. IF SUNNY WAS GOD IT WOULD BE TOTAL HELL.
ME AND JAMEZ WALKED TO EUROPE. THROUGH RAIN, THROUGH SNOW, THROUGH A BACKSTREETS BOY CONCERT, BUT WE MADE IT.
WE FINALLY ARRIVED IN NE1GERMANISANAZI TOWN.
"WE CAN REST HERE FOR A WHILE I GUESS." JAMEZ SAID.
ME AND JAMEZ WALKED INTO BRY'S RAPE HOTEL.
"YOU GO UP TO THE GUY AT THE DESK HES GAY SO HE'LL GET YOU." JAMEZ SAID.
I WENT UP TO BRY.
"UH HEY" I SAID.
"HEEEEEEEEEY" BRY SAID. "YOU'RE THAT GUY"
"GUY?" I SAID.
"YUP. SOME GUY STOPPED BY HERE AND DROPPED OF POSTERS OF YOU, THAT HOT GUY YOU HAVE WITH YOU, AND 2 OTHER GUYS." BRY SAID.
"WTF?" I SAID. "GIMME"
HE HANDED ME THE POSTERS. THERE WAS ONE WITH ME, ONE WITH JAMEZ, ONE WITH NICK, AND ONE WITH ZEN. THEY ALL SAID THE SAME THING.
DANGEROUS DOG RAPISTS. IF CAPTURED YOU GET AN IPOD TOUCH.
"DAMMIT" I SAID.
"YEAH AND I KIND OF NEED A NEW IPOD TOO" BRY SAID.
BRY POINTED A GUN AT ME.
"FFFFFFFFUCK" I SAID.
"ALRIGHT NOW GET INTO MY CAR. AND YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF." BRY SAID.
"WHAT THE FUCK??" JAMEZ SAID.
WE GOT INTO BRYS CAR.
"ALRIGHT IM JUST GOING TO DRIVE YOU GUYS TO THE NEAREST POLICE STATION." BRY SAID.
"YOU DONT WANT TO DO THIS SWC IS GOING TO KILL GOD IF WE DONT STOP THEM" I SAID.
"GOOD THAT BITCH DOESNT LIKE GAY PEOPLE" BRY SAID.
BRY STARTED DRIVING.
"OH FUCK" BRY SAID.
"WHAT?" I SAID.
"BLUE SHELL!! BLUE FUCKING SHELL!!" BRY SAID.
BRY SWERVED JUST MISSING A GIANT BLUE EXPLOSIAN.
"OFUCKOFUCKOFUCK" BRY SAID. "RED SHELLS"
"WHATS GOING ON??" JAMEZ SAID.
BRY TOOK OUT A GREEN SHELL AND THREW IT BACK SMASHING THE RED SHELLS.
"OH SHIT" BRY SAID.
"WHAT?!?!?" I SAID.
"CLIFF!!!!!" BRY SAID.
AND SUDDENLY THE CAR WAS JUMPING OFF A CLIFF.
JAMEZ KICKED THE CAR DOOR OFF AND JUMPED OUT. HE GRABBED ONTO THE CLIFF. I GOT UP TO TRY THAT TOO, BUT BRY SLAPPED ME.
"OW" I SAID.
I PUNCHED BRY AND HE FELL BACK ONTO THE WINDSHIELD SMASHING IT. I KICKED HIM OUT OF THE CAR. THEN I JUMPED OUT AND GRABBED ONTO THE CLIFF.
BRY LANDED ON THE GROUND SAFELY.
"HA WE WERENT THAT FAR FROM THE GROUND DUMBASS" BRY SAID.
THEN THE CAR FELL ON BRY AND SMASHED HIM.
I CLIMBED UP TO THE TOP OF THE CLIFF.
"HOLY FUCK" I SAID. "ONE PARAGRAPH WERE CHECKING INTO A HOTEL THE NEXT WERE FALLING OFF A CLIFF."
"I KNOW THIS WRITER MUST HAVE LIKE ADD OR SOMETHING" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHAT WAS HAPPENING ANYWAYS?" I SAID.
"WE WERE SAVING YOUR ASS" SOME GUY SAID.
"WE?" I SAID. "WHO ARE YOU GUYS"
"WE ARE ANGELS." THE GUY SAID.
"WAIT MORE ANGELS?" JAMEZ SAID. "THOUGHT GOD WASNT GOING TO HELP US?"
"WELL AFTER GOD SAW JAMEZ'S MOTIVATION HE DECIDED HE'D REVIVE TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS. IM JUST HERE TO DROP THEM OFF MY NAME IS SHADOWDRAGON." HE SAID.
"YES! I KNEW CHEF COULDNT DIE!" JAMEZ SAID.
"HE DID NOT REVIVE CHEF." SHADOWDRAGON SAID.
"FUCK" JAMEZ SAID.
"NINTENDOGIRL." SHADOWDRAGON SAID.
NINTENDOGIRL STEPPED FORWARD.
"....SHE WENT TO HEAVEN?!?!" JAMEZ SAID. "MAN SHE WAS A SLUT"
"NO YOU JUST RAPED HER DECAPITATED HEAD." SHADOWDRAGON SAID. "FUCKING....WIERD ASS...FURRY..."
":W" JAMEZ SAID.
"AND YOUR SECOND REVIVED FRIEND." SHADOWDRAGON SAID. "WELL I THINK YOU KNOW HIM."
A GUY STEPPED FOWARD. I SORT OF RECONIZED HIM.
"IM BACK GUYS" HE SAID.
THEN IT HIT ME.
IT WAS AJ.
"AJ!!" JAMEZ SAID.
"HELLO JAMEZ. HELLO SHIDO." AJ SAID.
"NINTENDOGIRL, WITH HER INTELLSAUCE ON STRATEGY, AND AJ WITH HIS WARRIOR SKILLS. WE HAVE GIVEN YOU BRAIN AND STRENGTH NOW USE IT WISELY." SHADOWDRAGON SAID.
"GOD THAT WAS CHEESY" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH WELL BLAME GOD HE WRITES THIS SHIT" SHADOWDRAGON SAID. "WELL I G2G MY SHOWS ARE ABOUT TO START. AND IN HEAVEN, WE DO NOT HAVE MTV."
"HYES!!! HYES!!!!!!" I SAID.
SHADOWDRAGON FADED INTO THE AIR.
"WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE." JAMEZ SAID.
"WELL, YOU TWO WILL NEED TO HIDE YOUR FACES." NINTENDOGIRL SAID.
"NO PROBLEM I ALWAYS CARRY AROUND SONIC MASKS." JAMEZ SAID. "K I GET SONIC AND SHIDO YOU GET SILVER CAUSE YOU SUCK ASS K LETS GO"
"HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIND THE PILLAR?" I SAID.
"GOD GAVE US A MAP" AJ SAID.
HE PULLED OUT THE MAP.
"HM. THIS IS ODD." AJ SAID.
"WHAT?" I SAID.
"THERES NO PILLAR IN EUROPE." AJ SAID.
"WTF?" I SAID.
"YEAH IDK..." AJ SAID.
"THANK GOD BECAUSE EUROPE IS GAY." JAMEZ SAID. "BRITS ARE GAY. FRENCH ARE GAY. GERMANYS GAY. LETSA GO."
"WAIT. I HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING FIRST." I SAID. "AJ CAN I SEE THE MAP REAL QUICK?"
AJ HANDED ME THE MAP. I SAW IT. THE GOLDEN WELL UP IN NORWAY. WHY DID GOD PUT IT ON THE MAP? DID HE WANT ME TO FIND IT?
"GUYS WE HAVE TO GO TO NORWAY." I SAID.
"BUT WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ STOP WHINING LIKE A DAMN NIGGER." I SAID. "NO OFFENCE KEL"
"NONE TAKEN" KEL SAID WALKING BY.
"I HAVE A FEELING THAT BRADLEY IS THE CHOSEN ANGEL." I SAID.
"WTF..? DID YOU NOT HEAR THE STORY? HE WANTED TO KILL GOD YOU FUCKING IDIOT." JAMEZ SAID.
"SO? DOESNT MEAN HE HASNT CHANGED? THINK OF IT LIKE THIS" I STARTED. "GOD LOCKED UP BRADLEY RIGHT? WELL DARKY TOLD ME THAT BRADLEY WAS A MASTER OF MAGIC-"
"WAIT WHEN DID YOU SIT DOWN WITH DARKY AND HAVE A SAUCEFISTICATED CONVERSATION?" JAMEZ SAID.
"THAT DOESNT MATTER" I SAID. "BUT HE SAID HE WAS A MASTER OF MAGIC AND THAT BRADLEY ACTUALLY OUTSMARTED GOD SO THAT HE COULD LIKE BREAK FREE FROM HIS CURSE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. GOD KNOWING BRADLEY COULD DO THIS KNEW THAT WE'D MEET BRADLEY AND KNEW THAT BRADLEY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD BEAT SUNNY. AFTER ALL HE IS THE MOST POWERFUL ANGEL RIGHT?"
"THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE SHIDO" NINTENDOGIRL SAID.
"YEAH WELL IM WAAAAAAY SMARTER. ITS JUST THAT SHIDO LOOKS SMARTER CAUSE HIS EYES ARE SQUINTED ALL THE TIME." JAMEZ SAID.
"ALRIGHT. WE'LL GO TO BRADLEY." AJ SAID.
WE TOOK A CAB TO NORWAY.
ONCE WE GOT TO NORWAY EVERYONE LOOKED LIKE MONKEYS
"HELLO WELCOME TO NORWAY" SOME GREETER SAID. "MY NAME IS IVERO AND ITS MY JOB TO TAKE YOU ON A TOUR."
"NO THANKS WE HAVE TO SAVE GOD." JAMEZ SAID. "IS THERE A GOLDEN WELL AROUND HERE?"
"THE FAMOUS GOLDEN WELL THAT APPEARED OVER NIGHT? YES I'LL TAKE YOU THERE." IVERO SAID.
"THANKS BUT WE DONT REALLY NEED A 12 YEAR OLDS HELP." I SAID.
"LISTEN UP YOU STUPID FUCKS" IVERO SAID. "YOU ARE FUCKING COMING WITH ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING LOVE IT."
IVERO PULLED OUT A KNIFE.
"WHOA!" JAMEZ SAID.
"OKAY OKAY MAN WE'LL GO WITH YOU!" I SAID.
IVERO LED US THROUGH A FORREST.
"SO SHIDO" AJ SAID. "WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN UP TO SINCE I WAS AXED IN THE BACK?"
"NOTHING MUCH JUST BOUGHT MODERN WARFARE 2" I SAID.
"RLY" AJ SAID. "WELL ABOUT I PLAY YOU."
"OH SURE WHATS YOU GAMERTAG" I SAID.
"G-GAMERTAG?" AJ SAID. "DOES NOT COMPUTE...DO YOU MEAN PSN ID?"
"NO....LIVE GAMERTAG." I SAID.
"OOOH HEELLLLLLLLL NO" AJ SAID. "WHERES SNAKEPIT AND RYUMAKSUSHIWEEABOO AT? I NEED SOME BACKUP OR ILL GET BEAT UP"
"HERE IT IS." IVERO SAID. "THE GOLDEN WELL. PEOPLE KEEP TAKING DUMPS IN IT."
"GREAT." I SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE BALL DARKY GAVE ME.
"I WANT JAMEZ TO COME WITH ME." I SAID.
"WHY JAMEZ?" AJ SAID.
"BECAUSE NG'S A SEXIST BITCH AND YOUR A SONY FAN." I SAID.
I DROPPED THE BALL INTO THE GOLDEN WELL.
EVERYTHING TWISTED AND TURNED AND I BLACKED OUT.
I WOKE UP IN A COMPLETLY PITCH BLACK SPACE OF NOTHING.
"WHAT IS THIS...?" I SAID.
"THIS IS WHERE I LIVE" SOMETHING SAID.
"BRADLEY?" I SAID.
JAMEZ GOT UP.
THE CREATURE REVIELED ITSELF. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A GIANT GODZILLA.
"YES. I AM BRADLEY." IT SAID. "BUT MY FRIENDS CALL ME BLOODYREGRET."
"BLOODYREGRET??" I SAID. "YOU'RE BRADLEY????"
"DAMN I THOUGHT IT WAS SUNNY." JAMEZ SAID. "I MEAN I JUST SORT OF ASSUMED."
"HOW CAN YOU BE BLOODYREGRET?" I SAID.
"I USED MAGIC TO CREATE A SUROGATE BODY FOR MYSELF. WHILE IT WASNT ME AND WOULD NEVER BE AS STRONG AS ME, I COULD STILL GO OUTSIDE AND CREATE SPELLS. I TRIED TO HELP YOU GUYS...I REALLY DID....." BRADLEY/BLOODYREGRET SAID.
"WHY HELP US?" I SAID. "YOU'RE THE DEVIL. I MEAN...ARENT YOU?"
"NO." BLOODY SAID. "I'M JUST A FALLEN ANGEL."
"THEN.." JAMEZ SAID.
"SUNNYCIDE IS THE DEVIL." BLOODYREGRET SAID.
IT WAS A LONG SILENCE.
"MY STORY OF TRYING TO KILL GOD HAS NEVER BEEN TOLD. BUT I WILL TELL IT NOW" BRADLEY SAID.
"GOD DAMMIT HOLD ON IMMA GET MY IPOD OUT FOR THIS I CAN TELL ITS GONNA BE LONG." JAMEZ SAID.
"YES ITS GOING TO BE AS LONG AS MY DICK." BLOODY SAID. "BUT, A LONG TIME AGO BEFORE ME AND CHEF WERE CREATED, IT WAS JUST GOD. GOD HAD JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO CREATE OBJECTS. THEN GOD DECIDED TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. HE DECIDED TO CREATE SOMEONE ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE HIM. SO GOD CREATED ANOTHER SUN-"
"WAIT WHAT?" I SAID.
"GOD IS THE SUN, SHIDO." BRADLEY SAID. "THAT IS WHY IT IS DARK IN HERE. GOD DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE."
"OH" I SAID.
"CHARLIE GOT A MELODY" JAMEZ SANG.
"DID YOU SAY CHARLIE?" I SAID. "ARE YOU FUCKING WHITE? ITS SHAWTY IDIOT. HOW DOES CHARLIE EVEN MAKE SENSE??"
"I WERE DOING IT ON PURPOSE LUL" JAMEZ SAID. "WHEW...NICE SAVE THERE JAMEZ.."
"ANYWAYS" BRADLEY SAID. "HE CREATED ANOTHER SUN. BUT GOD THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A LITTLE BORING. IT WAS JUST LIKE ANOTHER OBJECT. SO GOD TURNED THE SUN INTO THE FIRST MAN. THE MAN COULD TALK TO GOD, EVEN IF GOD COULDNT TALK BACK. HE COULD MOVE AROUND, HE COULD DO EVERYTHING. AND GOD CREATED A HOME FOR HIM. EARTH. AND GOD CREATED MYSTERIES TO SOLVE FOR HIM SO HE'D NEVER GET BORED. GOD CREATED THE OTHER PLANETS FOR HIS INTERESTS, THE STARS, THE GRASS, THE ANIMALS, EVERYTHING. AS LONG AS THE MAN WAS HAPPY GOD WAS TOO."
"I THINK YOU RIPPED THIS STORY OFF FROM THE GIVING TREE." JAMEZ SAID. "FUCKING UNCREATIVE BASTARDS."
"AS THE MAN GREW SMARTER AND SMARTER HE STARTED QUESTIONING GOD'S ACTIONS. THE MAN ASKED WHY GOD HADNT CREATED OTHER HUMANS FOR HIM TO TALK TO. SO GOD CREATED OTHER HUMANS FOR THE MAN. THE MAN TALKED TO THEM BUT HE FOUND THAT NONE OF THEM WERE EXACTLY LIKE HIM. GOD THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD BE BORED IF THEY WERE. FRUSTRATED THAT HE COULDNT GET ALONG WITH ANY OF THEM, THE MAN KILLED THEM ALL." BRADLEY SAID. "GOD WAS CONFUSED ON WHAT HAD HAPPENED. HE HAD WORKED HARD ON ALL THOSE HUMANS AND NOW THEY WERE GONE. GOD TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO THE MAN NOT TO KILL ANYMORE BUT THE MAN DIDNT UNDERSTAND."
"YEAH I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND IT EITHER BUT OKAY" JAMEZ SAID.
"SO SINCE THE MAN WOULD NOT LISTEN, GOD CREATED HEAVEN. WHEN THE MAN KILLED SOMEONE THEY DIDNT LIKE, THEY WOULD COME TO HEAVEN SO ATLEAST GODS WORK WASNT FOR NOTHING." BRADLEY SAID. "THE MAN GOT MAD. HE SAID THAT IF HE DIDNT LIKE THEM, HE DIDNT WANT THEM TO EXIST AT ALL. GOD WANTED THE MAN TO BE HAPPY, SO HE BUILT A DIFFERENT KIND OF HEAVEN BUT IT WAS UNDERGROUND SO THAT THE MAN WOULDNT KNOW. THIS WAS HELL. DOWN HERE, A WHOLE OTHER WORLD HAD BEEN CREATED. AS MORE PEOPLE WENT TO HELL, THE SOCIETY GREW. GOD WAS INTERESTED IN THE SOCIETY THEY HAD CREATED AND DIDNT PAY ATTENTION TO THE MAN ANYMORE. THE MAN COMPLAINED ALL DAY TO GOD HOW HE WAS NOT HAPPY. TO BE NICE TO HIS FIRST HUMAN, HE GRANTED THE MAN SOME POWERS GOD HAD. HE COULDNT CREATE BUT HE WAS VERY POWERFUL. THE MAN WAS MAD GOD DIDNT GIVE HIM ALL THE POWERS HE WANTED. TIRED OF SEEING THE WORLD IN A PLAIN AND BORING WAY?"
"WTF?" JAMEZ SAID.
"COMMERCIAL" I SAID.
"WELL INTRODUCING THE HD GLASSES!" BRADLEY SAID. "NOW YOU CAN SEE THE WORLD IN HD! NOT AVAILABLE AT STORES EVEN THOUGH YOU'LL SEE THEM IN WALMART EVERYWHERE! WHAT WOULD YOU GET FOR NORMAL SUN GLASSES? 70 DOLLERS? 90 DOLLERS? FOR THE HD GLASSES YOU ONLY HAVE TO PAY 5,000 DOLLERS! PLUS BUY THE HD GLASSES NOW AND YOU'LL GET A FREE CARDBOARD BOX! JUST CALL 1-800-IMAFUCKINGIDIOT AND WE'LL SEND IT OFF TO YOU!"
"WHOA I WANNA GET THOSE!" JAMEZ SAID,
"SH! ITS STARTING!" I SAID.
"GOD SOON IGNORED THE MAN ALL TOGETHER AND FOCUSED ALL HIS ATTENTION AT HELL. THE MAN TRIED TO HURT GOD, BUT GOD COULD NOT BE HURT. THE MAN SOON REALIZED HE COULD NOT BE HURT EITHER. HE ALSO REALIZED NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIED HE COULD NOT BE KILLED. SOON THE PEOPLE OF HELL BEGAN DIGGING UP TO THE SURFACE WORLD TO EXPLORE. GOD TRIED TO WARN THEM OF THE MAN BUT THEY DIDNT LISTEN. WHEN THE MAN SAW THEM COMING OUT OF THE GROUND HE WENT DOWN TO HELL TO EXPLORE. HE HAD REALIZED GOD MADE AN ENTIRE WORLD OF PEOPLE HE KILLED AND WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM AND NOT HIM. THE MAN SLAUGHTERED ALL OF THEM. BUT SINCE THEY WOULD JUST GO BACK TO HELL ANYWAYS, HE KEPT REKILLING THEM. TO END THE PAIN OF THE PEOPLE IN HELL, GOD REOPENED HEAVEN, WHERE THE MAN COULD NEVER REACH THEM. IN ANGER, THE MAN CLAIMED THAT HELL WAS HIS WORLD AND HE WAS THE GOD. GOD WAS SAD BUT DIDNT PAY MUCH ATTENTION. GOD CREATED MORE HUMAN FOR THE SURFACE WORLD BUT THE MAN WOULD KIDNAP THEM AND PERFORM EXPIRIMENTS ON THEM. THE HUMANS HE KIDNAPPED BECAME DEMONS. HE TOLD GOD THEY WERE HIS CREATIONS. THE MAN RULED HELL, BUT HE STILL WANTED MORE. HE WANTED TO BE GOD. THE MAN AND HIS DEMONS KILLED EVERYONE ON THE SURFACE WORLD AND THEY ALL WENT TO HELL. THE MAN TOLD GOD THAT HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIM TOO. GOD, NOW FURIOUS, MADE HELL INTO AN UNREACHABLE PLACE. NO ONE COULD GO INTO TO HELL, NO ONE COULD GET OUT. BUT THE MAN STILL USED HIS POWERS TO GET IN AND OUT. SO GOD PUT A CURSE ON HIM AND HIS DEMONS. THEY COULD GET OUT, BUT THEY WOULD NOT BE SOLID CREATURES. THEYD JUST BE IN THE HUMANS MINDS. AND THATS WHERE THAT VOICE IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD COMES FROM."
"SNACK BREAK" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHATD YOUR MOM PACK YOU?" I SAID.
"AWWW MAN. HAM SANDWICH. FUCKING HATE HAM." JAMEZ SAID.
"ANYWAYS. GOD CREATED 2 GOLDEN WEAPONS THAT COULD HURT HIMSELF. HE KNEW IF HE COULD HURT HIMSELF, HE COULD HIMSELF HE COULD HURT THE MAN. HE GAVE ME THE GOLDEN SHIELD, AND CHEF THE GOLDEN ARMOR. GOD KEPT THE SWORD FOR EMERGANCIES. IT WAS OUR JOB TO PROTECT THE HUMANS FROM THE MAN IF HE GOT LOOSE SOMEHOW. WELL, THE MAN DID LEARN MAGIC TO GET LOOSE AND HE CAME TO ME. HE TOLD ME IF I GOT ALL THE GOLDEN WEAPONS I WOULD BE THE RULER OF HIS WORLD. I FELL FOR HIS LIES AND I ATTEMPTED TO GET ALL THE WEAPONS. YOU BOTH KNOW THE STORY TO THAT. NOW I AM HERE. THE MAN SWORE THAT HE WOULD KILL GOD AND BECOME GOD. HE NAMED HIMSELF SUNNYCIDE, WHICH MEANS THE KILLING OF THE SUN." BRADLEY SAID.
"WHOA MINDFUCK" JAMEZ SAID.
"WHOA. SO SUNNYS THE DEVIL." I SAID.
"ANYONE WHO DIDNT SUSPECT THAT UNTIL THIS CHAPTER IS RETARDED." JAMEZ SAID.
"I KNEW SUNNY WOULD KILL CHEF BEFORE YOU GOT TO EUROPE, SO I SENT A DEMON...DARKY TO GIVE YOU THAT BALL SHIDO." BLOODYBRADLEY SAID. "OF COURSE DARKY WOULD ONLY DO IT IF I TOUGHT HIM A NEW SPELL. SO I TOUGHT HIM THAT TIME FREEZE SPELL."
"I KNEW YOU SENT HIM" I SAID. "IT'S UP TO US TO FREE YOU. YOU HAVE TO KILL SUNNY. YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ANGEL."
"NO SHIDO." BLOODY SAID. "YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ANGEL."
"CALLED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" JAMEZ SAID.

"THIS ENTIRE TIME IVE BEEN THE CHOSEN ANGEL?" I SAID.
"YES SHIDO" BLOODY SAID. "IT WAS CHEFS JOB TO TRAIN YOU, AND TELL YOU AND SUNNY KNEW THAT. THATS WHY HES BEEN TRYING TO KILL CHEF. AND HE SUCEEDED IT SEEMS."
"WAIT SUNNY KNOWS IM THE CHOSEN ANGEL??" I SAID.
"OF COURSE." BLOODY SAID. "WHY DO YOU THINK HES BEEN FOLLOWING YOU AROUND??"
"I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS" I SAID. "LIKE FRENEMIES"
"NO, HE NEEDS YOUR POWER TO GET THE GOLDEN ARROWS." BLOODY SAID.
"MAN..." JAMEZ SAID. "THIS IS FUCKED UP. I THOUGHT I WAS THE CHOSEN ANGEL. I MEAN WHY ELSE WOULD I BE BLESSED WITH THIS AMAZING FACE"
"SHIDO" BLOODY SAID. "CHEF WAS SUPPOSED TO TRAIN YOU WITH THE SWORD."
"HE DID A LITTLE BUT..." I SAID.
"DAMMIT....I'LL HAVE TO TEACH YOU THEN" BLOODY SAID.
"YOU?? YOUR LIKE 16 FEET TALL AND LOOK LIKE GODZILLAS DAD! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TRAIN ME??" I SAID.
"I WASNT ALWAYS LIKE THIS SHIDO. I WAS A NORMAL ANGEL LIKE YOU. BUT THEN I FELL VICTIM TO ONE OF SUNNYS EXPIRIMENTS." BLOODY SAID.
" :0 " I SAID.
"LONG STORY, NO NEED TO TELL IT." BLOODY SAID. "WHAT WE SHOULD REALLY BE WORRYING ABOUT IS TRAINING YOU. JAMEZ, GO GET US SOME CANS OF ORANGE SODA. THIS IS GOING TO BE INTENSE."
"I'LL RUN SUPER FAST THERE LIKE SONIC! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" JAMEZ SAID.
"CHEF TOLD YOU HOW EACH PERSON CAN ONLY UNLOCK CERTAIN POWERS FOR THE SWORD, RIGHT SHIDO?" BLOODY SAID.
"YES HE DID" I SAID.
"WELL, YOU CAN UNLOCK ALL OF THEM." BLOODY SAID. "IT'LL TAKE A WHILE BUT YOU CAN DO IT."
BLOODY SHOWED ME MANY TECHNIQUES AND COMBOS FOR THE SWORD. ABOUT 6 HOURS LATER WE FINISHED.
"THATS AS MUCH AS I CAN TEACH YOU RIGHT NOW" BLOODY SAID.
"I GOT THE SODAS!" JAMEZ SAID.
"I ASKED FOR THEM 6 HOURS AGO..." BLOODY SAID.
"I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD MAN!" JAMEZ SAID.
"THE REFRIDGERATOR IS ONLY 8 FEET AWAY YOU FAT FUCK" BLOODY SAID. "NOW SHIDO, YOU MUST LEAVE. WE WILL NEVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN."
"WELL FUCK MAN IM GONNA MISS YOU" I SAID.
"ILL MISS YOU TOO, SHIDO." BLOODY SAID.
"IM GOING TO MISS YOU TOO BLOODY" JAMEZ SAID.
"GO FUCK YOURSELF" BLOODY SAID.
SUDDENLY BLOODY STARTED TO FADE AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, ME AND JAMEZ WERE STANDING OUTSIDE THE GOLDEN WELL.
"DID YOU GUYS MISS US" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU WERE GONE FOR 1 SECOND" NG SAID.
"HOLY FUCK ITS LIKE NARNIA" JAMEZ SAID.
"WELL, WE BEST GET A MOVE ON" AJ SAID. "FIGURED WE'D FIND THAT EUROPE PILLAR TODAY AND HEAD TO AUSTRALIA TONIGHT..."
"FUCK NO DUDE I MAKE THE RULES" I SAID.
"WHAT IM THE LEADER" AJ SAID.
"AW HELLLL NO." I SAID. "IVE PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT LONG ENOUGH. MY ONLY LEADER WAS CHEF. THE REST OF YOU FUCKS LISTEN TO ME NOW. GOT IT?"
"WHAT A MAN" JAMEZ SAID.
" IVE BEEN RUNNING THE WORLD FOR 100 YEARS. IM NOT LETTING SOME ASIAN TRY TO TAKE MY STATUS OF WORLD LEADER." AJ SAID "BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE UNITED STATES, IM REALLY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU AS OUR LEADER NOW, MASTER."
"MASTER?" I SAID.
"WELL YES OF COURSE. YOU ARE THE SAVIOR OF EARTH, AFTER ALL" AJ SAID.
"GOOD GOOD." I SAID.
"ANY THING WE CAN DO?" NG SAID.
"YEAH, GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH YOU WHORE" I SAID.
"HEY!!!" JAMEZ SAID. "ME TOO"
"YEAH!!" I SAID.
"SO SHIDO" AJ SAID. "WHEN SHOULD WE FIND THE PILLAR?"
"FUCK THE PILLAR, IM A FUCKING ARCHANGEL! WERE GOING TO A RAVE!" I SAID.
"FUCK YEAH" JAMEZ SAID.
"ER...SHIDO I DONT THINK THATS WHAT-: AJ SAID.
"HEYHEYHEYHEY" I SAID. "WHO'S THE ANGEL HERE? YOU? I DONT THINK SO. HA HA HA... I DONT THINK SO."
"YEAH!" JAMEZ SAID. "HE SHIDO, I MIGHT HAVE HAD SEX WITH A 4 YEAR OLD A WHILE BACK....SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS 9....THINK YOU CAN STILL SQUEEZE ME INTO HEAVEN?"
"NO PROBLEM JAMEZ!" I SAID. "OF COURSE, YOU'D HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME"
"OF COURSE MASTER ANYTHING YOU WANT" JAMEZ SAID.
"HMMMMM" I SAID. "CANT THINK OF ANYTHING. THINK OF SOMETHING FOR ME."
"I COULD EAT MY OWN SHIT?" JAMEZ SAID.
"HM. THATS A GOOD IDEA! YOU GET INTO HEAVEN FOR THAT GREAT IDEA!" I SAID.
"SWEET!" JAMEZ SAID.
NG CAME BACK WITH MY SANDWICH.
"HEY NG, GO EAT YOUR OWN SHIT" I SAID.
"OH FUCK YES" JAMEZ SAID UNZIPPING HIS PANTS.
"OKAY BOTH OF YOU CUT IT OUT" AJ SAID."SHIDO, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HERE."
"AJ I AM THE SAVIOR OF EARTH I AM GOD" I SAID.
"NO" AJ SAID. "THAT IS GOD"
AJ POINTED UP TO THE BLAZING SUN.
"I FINALLY REALIZED WHY CANADA SUCKS." JAMEZ SAID. "GOD IS BARELY THERE."
"MY GOD JAMEZ YOU'RE RIGHT." I SAID.
"WILL YOU TWO JUST FOCUS HERE." AJ SAID. "ME AND NG WERE SENT HERE TO HELP SAVE THE WORLD, SO LETS GO SAVE THE WORLD."
"WELL LETS SEE WHAT RIDDLES WE HAVE SO FAR." I SAID. "WE HAVE THE HILLS...AND MYTH."
"YKNOW, IF WE TRIED TO SOLVE THE RIDDLE NOW WED SAVE ALOT OF TIME..." JAMEZ SAID.
"ITS TOO HARD RIGHT NOW JAMEZ. I MEAN WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH A MYTH AND HILLS." I SAID.
"WAIT...I GOT IT. I FUCKING GOT IT." JAMEZ SAID. "YOU GUYS ALL KNOW PAM ANDERSON RIGHT?"
"YEAH WHAT ABOUT HER?" AJ SAID.
"WELL SHES GOT BIG BOOBS RIGHT?" JAMEZ SAID. "BUT THEYRE FAKE RIGHT?"
"HOLY FUCK JAMEZ THAT MAKES SENSE" I SAID.
"EXCEPT THE GOLDEN ARROWS BEEN HIDDEN FOR 8 TRILLION YEARS AND PAM ANDERSON HAS ONLY BEEN ALIVE FOR 5 TRILLION YEARS." AJ SAID.
"DAMMIT HES RIGHT" I SAID. "GUESS WE SHOULD TRY TO FIND THIS STUPID EUROPE PILLAR"
"WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THAT STONE THAT WOULD GLOW MORE RED WHEN WE WERE CLOSE" JAMEZ SAID.
"IZZY ATE THE DAMN THING OR SOME SHIT" I SAID.
"I MISS IZZY AND NICK" JAMEZ SAID.
"WAIT I BET I CAN SUMMON THEM" I SAID.
"YOU CANT" AJ SAID.
'AJ WHY ARE YOU LIKE THE MAJOR FUN KILLER NOW." JAMEZ SAID. "OF COURSE HE CANT BUT ITLL BE FUN WATCHING HIM HURT HIMSELF."
"BECAUSE WE HAVE A MISSION FROM OUR CREATOR TO SAVE THE EARTH FROM THE DEVIL. WE HAVE LIMITED TIME HERE." AJ SAID.
"GOD AJ UR SO BORING" JAMEZ SAID.
"HEY LEAVE MY DAD ALONE JAMEZ" NG SAID.
"GTFO OF HERE YOU DUMB BITCH" JAMEZ SAID.
"JAMEZ WTF I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HER" I SAID.
"NOT ANYMORE MAN. WHEN I RAPED HER MOUTH...HER TONGUE WAS GREEN." JAMEZ SAID.
"WOLFIE GAVE ME A GREEN TONGUE NOT MY FAULT" NG SAID.
"ALRIGHT EVERYONE LETS GET ON THIS THING" I SAID. "WERE SEARCHING FOR A PILLAR. NOW WHERE WOULD GOD PUT A PILAR IN EUROPE?"
"GOD CANT HE GIVE US HINTS?" JAMEZ SAID.
"HE DOES" AJ SAID. "HE ALWAYS SHINES DOWN ON WHERE THE PILLARS ARE."
"SOMEONE COULDNT FUCKING TELL US THAT EARLIER???? CHEF HAD US USING A FUCKING TRACKING DEVICE!!!!" I SAID.
"WELL YOU GUYS DIDNT KNOW AND WE COULDNT TELL YOU BUT NOW WE CAN" AJ SAID.
WE STARTED WALKING TO WHERE WE HAD NOTICED MORE OF A SHINE OF SUNLIGHT.
"SO LIKE IS GOD NICE?" JAMEZ SAID.
"HES PRETTY NICE" AJ SAID.
"IS HIS VOICE LIKE MORGAN FREEMANS?" JAMEZ SAID.
"DUNNO. HE DOESNT TALK" AJ SAID.
"WELL THAT STUCKUP BITCH" JAMEZ SAID.
"HEY IS THE SHINE TILTING TOWARDS THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT I CANT TELL..." AJ SAID.
"OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT" I SAID.
"I SAY THE LEFT." NG SAID.
"WTF ARE YOU BOTH BLIND ITS THE RIGHT" JAMEZ SAID.
"WE'LL SPLIT UP. ME AND SHIDO TAKE RIGHT, JAMEZ AND NG TAKE LEFT." AJ SAID.
"WTFFIEN" JAMEZ SAID.
WE SPLIT UP.
"SHIDO THERES SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU AND ITS THE REASON WHY I WAS SENT DOWN HERE." AJ SAID.
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE SENT DOWN HERE TO HELP US FIGHT?" I SAID.
"WELL....THAT ISNT THE MAIN REASON WHY IM HERE." AJ SAID.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE AJ?" I SAID.
"WELL...YOU SEE...JAMEZ-" AJ SAID.
"THERE IS NO FUCKING PILLAR OVER THERE" JAMEZ SAID. "FUCKING TOLD YOU GAYJ OH YEAH AND I ASSFUCKED YOUR DAUGHTER TOO"
"IT DIDNT HURT AT ALL" NG SAID.
"HEY LOOK THERES THE PILLAR!" JAMEZ SAID. "CMON GUYS!"
"...LATER SHIDO. LATER." AJ SAID.
WE ALL RAN UP TO THE PILLAR.
"WHATS THE RIDDLE??" JAMEZ SAID.
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN FURRY" I SAID.
I TOUCHED THE PILLAR AND IT READ THE RIDDLE OUT TO ME.
THE PILLAR SAID: "YOU ARE IN THE DAMN PLACE RIGHT NOW."
"AFRICA" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO YOU DIPSHIT, EUROPE." AJ SAID.
"MYTH, HILLS, EUROPE...?" I SAID.
"ISNT IT OBVIOUS? PAM ANDERSON." JAMEZ SAID.
"ITS NOT FUCKING PAM ANDERSON-THATS NOT EVEN A PLACE YOU JACK OFF" AJ SAID.
"DUDE IM JUST SO HIGH RIGHT NOW" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU GUYS ARE TOO FUCKING SLOW" RK SAID.
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM" I SAID.
"WEVE BEEN WATCHING YOU. TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO GET HERE." RK SAID. "HYPER IS HERE ALSO."
"RK THERES SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW" I SAID. "IM THE FUCKING CHOSEN ANGEL. MORE POWERFUL THAN BRADLEY AND CHEF. BET YOU'RE FUCKING SCARED NOW."
"...LOL." RK SAID.
"WHATS SO FUNNY?" I SAID.
"SHIDO..." RK SAID. "YOU THINK WE DIDNT ALREADY KNOW THAT?"
"SAY WHAT" I SAID.
"WE ALWAYS KNEW. THATS WHY WE WERE ALWAYS TRYING TO CAPTURE YOU, DUMBASS. AND SEE, IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU'RE STRONGER THAN BRADLEY AND CHEF COMBINED. SUNNYCIDE IS THE FUCKING DEVIL. HE HAS GOD'S FUCKING POWERS. IT DOESNT MATTER WHO YOU ARE, THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DESTROY SUNNY IS GOD, AND HE KNOWS IT. AND NO ONE ELSE IN SWC IS AFRAID OF YOU EITHER. WE BEAT YOU UP BEFORE, AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED. YOU'RE STILL THE SAME OLD SHIDO." RK SAID.
"WELL GOD JUST GO AHEAD AND CRUSH MY ENTIRE SELF ESTEEM THERE." I SAID.
"AND TO MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN DUMBER, BRADLEY TOLD YOU THAT WE ALREADY KNEW." RK SAID.
"ITS TRUE HE DID." JAMEZ SAID.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" I SAID.

I got drunk last night and when I woke up this was on my laptop. No fucking joke.
I edited it a little of course.

"SHIDO" RK SAID. "JOIN SWC. WE ARE SO MUCH GREATER THAN THESE GUYS YOU'VE BEEN WORKING WITH"
"HEY LOOK I KNOW THAT, BUT JAMEZ OWES ME 10 BUCKS SO I HAVE TO MAKE SURE HE LIVES." I SAID.
"YOU STILL HAVE 4 MORE RIDDLES TO GO AND LETS FACE IT, EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM IS RETARDED" RK SAID.
"THATS WHY WE GO ON THE COMPUTER AND TYPE THE RIDDLES INTO GOOGLE AND THEN FIND THE ANSWER ON HAHAJOKES.COM." JAMEZ SAID.
"THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. NONE OF YOU EXCEPT..." RK LOOKED AT AJ.
"RK I SHOULD WARN YOU: GOD HAS GIFTED ME WITH AMAZING POWERS. I CAN TAKE DOWN 50 MEN IN A HEARTBEAT." AJ SAID.
THEN AJS HEAD EXPLODED.
"GREAT SHOT ZIRO" RK SAID.
"DAD!" NG SAID.
"NOW YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED" RK SAID. "WE'LL BE LEAVING NOW. BYE"
RK TURNED AROUND AND WALKED AWAY.
"DONT LET HIM GET AWAY SHIDO!" JAMEZ SAID. "KILL THAT ASIAN!"
"I CANT JAMEZ" I SAID.
"YOU JUST TRAINED WITH THAT ASSHOLE FOR LIKE 6 HOURS" JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH BUT ITS RK." I SAID. "HE'S THE MAIN VILLAINS RIGHT HAND MAN YOU SEE? THAT MEANS HE'LL BE THE SECOND TO LAST ONE
TO DIE. HE'LL PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT BUT NOT AS GOOD AS THE MAIN VILLAIN. IT IS POSSIBLE THAT ONE OF YOU COULD KILL HIM."
"WELL JESUS SHIDO I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A DICK" JAMEZ SAID. "WHERE ARE WE HEADING NOW?"
"AUSTRAILIA" I SAID.
"AUSTRAYLEA????" JAMEZ SAID. "THAT PLACE SUCKS. FIRST OF ALL, EVERYTHING THERE CAN KILL YOU. SECOND OF ALL EVERY ONE
IS FUCKING STUPID. THIRD OF ALL THEY HAVE THE MOST ANNOYING ACCENTS ON THE PLANET. FOURTH OF ALL KANGAROOS
ALL HAVE GAY ORGIES ON THE STREETS. FIFTH OF ALL MY EX GF LIVES THERE-"
"WAITWAITWAIT" I SAID. "YOUVE HAD A GF?"
"YUP." JAMEZ SAID. "I HAD TO BREAK UP WITH HER THOUGH. SHE GOT TOO CLINGY. JAMEZ DOESNT DO CLINGY."
"WOW JAMEZ I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO COOL" NG SAID.
"HEY STEP OFF NG YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE BUT YOU MISSED IT" JAMEZ SAID.
"YOU RAPED ME DECAPITATED HEAD" NG SAID.
"WELL HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET TO AUSTRAILIA NOW? IZZY WAS OUR BOAT." I SAID.
"HOLD ON RIGHT THERE SHIDO!" SOME GUY SAID.
"IZZY!" I SAID.
"...NO" HE SAID. "MY NAME IS COLTEN. I SELL BOATS."
"THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME." I SAID.
"IVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU GUYS FOR A WHILE." COLTEN SAID.
"WTF WHY" JAMEZ SAID.
"IDK IM BORED." COLTEN SAID. "NINTENDO GOT BLOWN UP SO THERES NO MORE GAMES"
"FUCK NINTENDO" I SAID. "SONYS FUCKING AWESOME"
"OKAY, IT DOESNT TAKE 3 HOURS JUST TO GET THE WII TO TURN ON." COLTEN SAID.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH" I SAID.
"SHIDO WERENT YOU A MICROSOFT FANBOY LIKE 2 CHAPTERS AGO." JAMEZ SAID.
"ATLEAST SONY HAS HD" I SAID.
"OOOOH YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ALSO IN HD? THE SHIT I TOOK THIS MORNING" COLTEN SAID.
"FSD;MKNGJKL;SDNFPJON FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU" I SAID. "WE GOT ACTUAL GAMES. NOT BABY GAMES LIKE
THE FUCKING WII"
"LITTLE BIG PLANET." COLTEN SAID.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, YOU BITCH" I SAID.
"GUYS LETS JUST CALM DOWN HERE." NG SAID. "WE NEED A BOAT RIGHT? LETS BUY ONE."
"RIGHT. ITS 5 BOATS FOR A DOLLER." COLTEN SAID.
"OKAY...WELL WE ONLY NEED ONE." I SAID.
"NO. 5 FOR A DOLLER." COLTEN SAID.
"I'LL BUY 1 FOR A DOLLER HOW ABOUT THAT? THATS A GREAT DEAL FOR YOU." I SAID.
"5. FOR. A. FUCKING. DOLLER." COLTEN SAID.
"NO DUDE THAT MAKES NO SENSE. FIRST OF ALL BOATS ARE LIKE 500 DOLLERS." I SAID.
"SHIDO JUST BUY 5 BOATS I MEAN DAMN." JAMEZ SAID.
"FINE. 5 BOATS, YA PRICK." I SAID.
I GAVE COLTEN A DOLLER.
"WHERES MY BOAT...S" I SAID.
"RIGHT HERE" COLTEN SAID.
HE HANDED ME FIVE MODEL BOATS.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THESE ARENT BOATS" I SAID.
"YES THEY ARE" COLTEN SAID.
"THESE ARE FUCKING TOY MODELS YOU DOUCHE" JAMEZ SAID.
"I NEVER SAID THEY WERENT." COLTEN SAID.
"GIMME BACK MY DOLLER" I SAID.
"NO REFUNDS. THANK YOU COME AGAIN." COLTEN SAID.
"OKAY FUCK THIS IM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU" I SAID.
"WAIT WAIT" COLTEN SAID. " I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE PISSED. BUT IF YOU LET ME COME ON YOUR ADVENTURE WITH
YOU, I'LL LET US ALL FLY ON MY MAGICAL DRAGON."
"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING." JAMEZ SAID.
"I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU." COLTEN SAID. "WARIOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
AND THEN A GIANT RED DRAGON CAME FLYING IN FROM THE SKY, LANDED, AND CRUSHED NINTENDOGIRL.
"OH NO NINTENDOGIRL!" JAMEZ SAID.
HE BENT DOWN AND PULLED HER HEAD OFF HER CRUSHED BODY.
"NO REASON FOR THIS TO GO TO WASTE" JAMEZ SAID.
"ALRIGHT COLTEN, EVEN THOUGH YOUR A FAG, YOU CAN COME WITH US." I SAID.
"YESSSSSSS" COLTEN SAID.
WE HOPPED ON THE DRAGON.
"WARIO, WE NEED TO GO TO AUSTRALIA NOW!" COLTEN SAID.
"AUSTRALIA?" WARIO SAID.
"FUCK YOU CAN TALK TOO? THATS AWESOME!" JAMEZ SAID.
"AUSTRALIA IS IN A GIANT WAR RIGHT NOW." WARIO SAID.
"...WTF? WITH WHO?" I SAID.
"THE MT FORCES AND SOME MILITARY CALLED A2" WARIO SAID.
"A2? I THOUGHT THEY DIED" JAMEZ SAID.
"OBVIOUSLY NOT" WARIO SAID.
WE FLEW FOR ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE REACHING AUSTRAILIA.
WARIO LANDED US AND WE HOPPED OFF.
"WARIO, I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I NEED YOU." COLTEN SAID.
"YES MASTER" WARIO SAID AND HE FLEW AWAY.
"SO....CAN HE GIVE YOU AND SUCK YOU IF YOU ASK HIM TO BECAUSE MY DICK IS LIKE SO DRY." JAMEZ SAID.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" SOME SOLDIER SAID.
"OH FUCK ITS MT" JAMEZ SAID.
"NO, THIS IS A2" THE SOLDIER SAID.
"DUDE A2 DIED WHAT THE FUCK" I SAID.
"THAT WAS ONE BASE OF A2 IN AFRICA THAT WAS DESTROYED. AND LUCKILY WE WERE ABLE TO CLONE OUR LEADERS, EAZY AND SKY." THE SOLDIER SAID.
"WELL GET EAZY, HE'LL REMEMBER US" I SAID.
WE WAITED FOR EAZY TO COME OUT.
THEN HE CAME OUT.
"SHIDO AND JAMEZ." EAZY SAID. "IT'S BEEN A WHILE. SO WHATS NEW?"
"IVE BEEN CHOSEN BY GOD TO LIBERATE THE WORLD FROM SWC. YOU?" I SAID.
"NOT MUCH." EAZY SAID. "HEY SHIDO YOU'RE ALWAYS AN ALLY TO US. COME IN"
"WHAT ABOUT US." JAMEZ AND COLTEN SAID.
"GET OUT OF HERE CRACKAS" EAZY SAID.
"IM FUCKING MEXICAN YOU BITCH" JAMEZ SAID.
I WENT INSIDE.
THERE WERE SOLDIERS EVERYWHERE ALL READY FOR BATTLE.
"HEY EAZY, CAN I GET SOME WEAPONS?" I SAID.
"YEAH TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT" EAZY SAID.
I TOOK EVERYTHING I WANTED.
"NOW SHIDO." EAZY SAID. " I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOMETHING."
"WHAT" I SAID.
"WHAT IS THIS POLE THING" EAZY SAID.
EAZY SHOWED ME A PICTURE OF A PILLAR.
"THATS A RIDDLE PILLAR! I NEED IT TO KILL SUNNYCIDE! WHERE IS IT??" I SAID.
"MT HAS IT." EAZY SAID. "THEY SAID YOU'D BE LOOKING FOR IT."
"SO IT'S IN THEIR BASE. FML." I SAID.
"YEAH WELL" EAZY SAID. "WERE GONNA BLOW UP THEIR BASE TODAY."
"EAZY, YOUR MILITARY CANT WIN." I SAID. "YOULL FALL AND EVERYONE INVOLVED WILL DIE."
"MAYBE, BUT IF WE CAN JUST DISTRACT THESE GUYS A LITTLE BIT MAYBE WE CAN HELP YOU OUT." EAZY SAID.
THEN A GRENADE FLEW IN FROM THE WINDOW.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK." EAZY SAID.
IT EXPLODED AND EVERYONE WAS TOSSED AROUND THE ROOM.
I GOT UP AND MT SOLDIERS WERE KILLING A2 SOLDIERS.
"WELP. GUESS ITS TIME FOR ME TO BE HITTING THE DUSTY TRAIL." I SAID.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING YOU FUCKING PUSSY” EAZY SAID.
“I GOTTA GTFO EAZY” I SAID.
“NO YOU GOTTA STAY AND FIGHT” EAZY SAID.
“LOLNO” I SAID.
I WALKED OUT THAT BACK DOOR.
“SHIDO YOU FUCKING PUSSY” EAZY SAID.
“SO WHATS GOING ON?” COLTEN SAID.
“WE GOTTA GO TO MTS BASE FOR THE NEXT PILLAR.” I SAID.
“DAMMIT.” JAMEZ SAID.
“NAW IT'LL BE EASY SINCE EVERYONE FROM MT IS HERE.” I SAID. “COLTEN CALL THAT WARIO THING.”
“I CANT HES MASTUBATING. I HAVE TO LET HIM FINISH.” COLTEN SAID.
“WTF” I SAID.
“WELL IT SHOULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS. UNLESS HES MASTURBATING TO A GIRL.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.” I SAID.
“WELL” JAMEZ SAID. “WHEN I MASTURBATE IT TAKES LIKE 2 HOURS FOR ME TO MASTURBATE TO A GIRL BUT WITH A GUY IT TAKES LIKE A MINUTE.”
“I GUESS WE'LL BE WALKING TO THE MT BASE IN THE MEANTIME?” COLTEN SAID.
“GOD I DONT FEEL LIKE IT” I SAID. “BUT WERE GOING TO HAVE TO.”
“HOLD IT!” A VOICE SAID FROM THE BUSHES.
“WHOS THERE” I SAID.
“ITS US.”
THAT ONE ZERO KID AND HIS TEAM STEPPED OUT OF THE BUSHES.
“OH YOU GUYS.” I SAID.
“WHOS THIS?” COLTEN SAID.
“WERE THE BEST TEAM IN SWC!” ZERO SAID.
“NO THERE NOT THEY SUCK” JAMEZ SAID.
“SHUT UP JAMEZ” DACHAMP SAID.
“FUCK YOU” JAMEZ SAID.
“WERE FINALLY GOING TO PROVE TO THE REST OF SWC THAT WERE WORTH SOMETHING” ZERO SAID. “JUSTIN. GUN.”
JUSTIN HANDED ZERO A GUN.
“A GUN?” I SAID. “THATS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO USE?”
“YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING RETARDED.” JAMEZ SAID.
“OH THIS ISNT JUST ANY OLD GUN.” ZERO SAID. “THIS GUN...SHOOTS BULLETS. BULLETS MADE OF LEAD.”
“WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK.” JAMEZ SAID. “FUCK THIS GET OUT OF OUR WAY FAGGOTS.”
“NOBODY MOVE!” ZERO SAID POINTING THE GUN TO JAMEZ.
“GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE.” JAMEZ SAID PUSHING THE GUN ONTO THE GROUND.
ZERO'S TEAM STARED AT THE GUN ON THE GROUND.
“TEAM! MOVE ON TO PLAN B!” ZERO SAID.
WE WATCHED AS DACHAMP HASTILY CLIMBED ONTOP OF ZERO, AND JUSTIN CLIMBED ONTO DACHAMP.
“SUPER KILLING MACHINE!” ZERO SAID.
THEN JAMEZ PUSHED THEM ALL DOWN.
“OW JUSTIN YOU FELL ON MY BALLS” ZERO SAID.
“SORRY BOSS” JUSTIN SAID.
“OKAY GUYS LETS GO.” I SAID.
“WAIT NO!” ZERO SAID. “I'M SICK OF BEING THE WEAK TEAM!”
ZERO GRABBED THE GUN AND THEN GRABBED COLTEN.
“IM GONNA BLOW YOUR FRIENDS BRAINS OUT!” ZERO SAID.
“GUYS HELP!” COLTEN SAID.
“COLTEN.” I SAID. “I TOOK THE BULLETS OUT OF THAT GUN AFTER JAMEZ PUSHED IT ON THE FLOOR.”
I DROPPED THE FIVE BULLETS ONTO THE GROUND.
“WTF” ZERO SAID.
“THEN GET OFF OF ME FAGGOT” COLTEN SAID PUSHING ZERO OVER.
“NO! NOOOOO!” ZERO SAID. “I'LL GET YOU ALL ONE DAY! YOU'LL SEE!!”
“BUT TODAYS NOT THAT DAY.” RK SAID. “ZERO, DACHAMP, JUSTIN. GO HOME. THERE'S PAPERWORK FOR YOU.”
“SIR YES SIR” THEY ALL SAID.
“OOOOOOH FUCK” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHO'S THIS? THE WEAKEST ONE OF THEM ALL?” COLTEN SAID.
“WHO'S THIS ASSHOLE NOW.” RK SAID.
“HEY.” COLTEN SAID. “I CAN KICK YOUR ASS.”
“COLTEN NO!” I SAID.
“LOLWUT” RK SAID.
“YEAH.” COLTEN SAID. “YOU THINK IM AFRAID OF WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU? YOU'RE PATHETIC.”
“HEY GUYS” RK SAID.
ZIRO AND SUNNY CAME DOWN FROM THE SHADOWS.
“WHATS GOING ON” SUNNY SAID.
“THIS GUY RIGHT HERE SAYS HE CAN BEAT ME UP” RK SAID.
“GOD DAMMIT COLTEN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU-” I SAID.
“SHIDO PLEASE. I CAN HANDLE THESE GUYS.” COLTEN SAID.
“NO FATASS YOU CANT” JAMEZ SAID.
“ALRIGHT YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE US?” SUNNY SAID.
“THINK? I KNOW MAN.” COLTEN SAID.
“LETS KICK THIS FAGGOTS ASS.” ZIRO SAID.
“I'LL LET YOU GUYS HAVE THE FIRST PUNCH.” COLTEN SAID. “GO ON DO IT.”
ZIRO PUNCHED COLTEN AND HE WENT FLYING 50 FEET AND SLID UNTIL HIS HEAD HIT A TREE.
“AHHHHH” COLTEN SAID. “WTF”
WE RAN TO COLTEN.
“COLTEN HURRY LETS GO” I SAID.
“THESE GUYS CAN KILL US” JAMEZ SAID.
SUNNY, RK, AND ZIRO APPEARED BEFORE US.
“WAIT.” RK SAID. “THIS GUY SAID HE COULD TAKE ALL OF US. HE HAS TO FINISH THE FIGHT.”
“GET OUT OF HERE” JAMEZ SAID.
HE TRIED TO KICK RK BUT RK GRABBED HIS LEG AND FLIPPED HIM OVER.
“RK, ZIRO. FINISH THESE GUYS.” SUNNY SAID. HE JUMPED OFF SOMEWHERE.
RK GRABBED COLTEN AND THREW HIM ACROSS THE GROUND.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A GIANT WOOSHING SOUND.
I LOOKED UP INTO THE SKY.
WARIO LANDED RIGHT NEXT US.
“BOYS!” WARIO SAID. “HURRY GET ON!”
JAMEZ CLIMBED ONTOP OF WARIO.
“COLTEN!” I SAID.
RK WAS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF COLTEN WHILE ZIRO WAS DRINKING SPRITE.
I RAN OVER AND PUNCHED RK IN THE NOSE.
HE FLEW BACK. I PULLED COLTEN UP AND I RAN BACK TO WARIO WHILE HE LIMPED BEHIND ME.
I HELPED HIM CLIMB ONTO WARIO AND WE TOOK OFF AS I WATCHED A BLOODY NOSED RK GIVE ME THE DEATH STARE FROM THE GROUND.
“WARIO, WE NEED TO GET THE MT'S BASE.” I SAID.
“OF COURSE.” WARIO SAID.
WARIO GLIDED THROUGH THE SKY. FOR A MOMENT IT WAS PEACEFUL. UNTIL WARIO SHOOK AND TOOK A SHARP TURN LEFT.
“WARIO WHATS HAPPENING?” I SAID.
“I THINK I JUST GOT HIT.” WARIO SAID.
SUDDENLY WARIO SHOOK AGAIN BUT THIS TIME HE TURNED RIGHT.
“HOLD ON” WARIO SAID.
WARIO TOOK A FULL ON BLAST AGAIN AND THIS TIME WE FELL RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY.
WE CRASHED ONTO THE GROUND.
ME, COLTEN, AND JAMEZ BOUNCED OFF OF WARIO.
“WARIO!” COLTEN SAID.
“I'M FINE COLTEN IT'S JUST A SCRATCH” WARIO SAID.
“WARIO WHATS WAS HITTING US?” I SAID.
“TWO GUYS WERE FLYING AT ME OR SOMETHING.” WARIO SAID.
“TWO GUYS?” I SAID.
RK AND ZIRO LANDED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
RK NAILED ME RIGHT IN THE FACE.
“I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT” RK SAID.
RK PICKED ME UP AND THREW ME BACK DOWN.
“GIVE US THE FUCKING SWORD.”
“NEVER” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND STABBED RK. RK KICKED ME OFF OF HIM AND THE SWORD FELL ON THE GROUND.
ZIRO AND JAMEZ RAN TO THE SWORD BUT ZIRO GOT IT FIRST AND SLASHED JAMEZ'S FACE.
“MY BEAUTIFUL FACE” JAMEZ CRIED.
“ALRIGHT” RK SAID PICKING ME UP. “WE GOT THE GOLDEN ITEMS AND WE GOT THE FUCKING ANGEL. LETS GO.”
“HOLD ON” WARIO SAID. “WHY DONT YOU PICK ON SOMEONE 10X BIGGER THAN YOU.”
WARIO SMACKED ZIRO AND RK WITH HIS TAIL AND BOTH ME AND THE SWORD FLEW IN THE AIR. I CAUGHT THE SWORD AND LANDED ON THE GROUND.
“GO BOYS! I'LL HANDLE THESE GUYS!” WARIO SAID.
“WARIO NO!” COLTEN SAID.
“I'LL BE FINE COLTEN!” WARIO SAID.
HE FLICKED ZIRO BACK WITH HIS CLAW.
“NOW GO!!” WARIO SAID.
WE ALL RAN AWAY FROM WARIO.
WE FINALLY REACHED MT'S BASE. THERE WERE VERY FEW GUARDS THERE.
“IGHT GUYS.” I SAID. “THIS'LL BE EASY.”
“WAIT..” JAMEZ SAID. “LOOK INSIDE!”
INSIDE WAS DAN.
“DAN!!” I SAID. “THAT DICK IS DOWN HERE!”
“DAN. I KNOW HIM.” COLTEN SAID.
“LETS GO KICK HIS ASS.” JAMEZ SAID.
WE SNUCK IN THROUGH THE BACK AND TOOK OUT THE ONLY GUARDS IN THE WHOLE PLACE.
“TWO OBJECTIVES.” I SAID. “FIND THE PILLAR, AND CAPTURE DAN.”
“RIGHT.” JAMEZ SAID.
“COLTEN YOU FIND THE PILLAR, JAMEZ AND I WILL TAKE DAN.” I SAID.
I HANDED HIM A GUN.
“JUST IN CASE.” I SAID.
ME AND JAMEZ SEARCHED AROUND FOR DAN. UNTIL FINALLY WE FOUND HIM. HE WAS TYPING ON A COMPUTER.
ME AND JAMEZ POINTED OUR GUNS AT HIM. I SIGNALED JAMEZ TO BE QUIET.
“...SHIDO. JAMEZ.” DAN SAID. “WELCOME.”
HE TURNED AROUND WITH TWO GUNS POINTING AT US.
“FUCK HOWD YOU KNOW WE WERE HERE.” I SAID.
“JAMEZ IS DIRTY” DAN SAID.
“HEY IM NOT DIRTY I TOOK A SHOWER 16 WEEKS AGO” JAMEZ SAID. (500 dollars for whoever gets the reference.)
“I KNOW WHY YOU TWO ARE HERE. THE PILLAR.” DAN SAID.
“IF WE WERE HERE FOR JUST THE PILLAR WE WOULD HAVE LEFT ALREADY.” I SAID. “WERE HERE FOR YOU TOO DAN.”
“DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE THIS EASY GUYS?” DAN SAID.
DAN SPRUNG FOWARD AND GRABBED JAMEZ.
“YOU SHOOT, HE DIES.” DAN SAID.
“DAN WHEND YOU GET SO FAST” JAMEZ SAID.
“NOW LISTEN SHIDO.” DAN SAID. “I WANT THE SWORD. SO YOU HAVE TO DECIDE. YOUR FRIEND? OR THE SWORD?”
“SHIDO DONT SAVE ME! SAVE THE WORLD!” JAMEZ SAID.
“OKAY” I SAID.
“NO DAMMIT SAVE ME” JAMEZ SAID.
THEN EAZY'S ARMY CRASHED THROUGH THE WINDOW. DAN AND JAMEZ FELL TO THE GROUND.
THE ARMY PICKED UP JAMEZ AND POINTED THEIR GUNS TO DAN.
“OFUCK” DAN SAID.
“DAN A2 OFFICIALLY DECLARES THIS LAND THEIRS. AND YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.” EAZY SAID.
“YOU..” DAN SAID. “YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE”
“YEAH YEAH WHATEVER” A2 SOLDIERS SAID AS THE PICKED UP DAN.
DAN SWUNG THEM BOTH AROUND AND PICKED UP ONE.
“I'LL SLASH HIS THROAT” DAN SAID PICKING UP A KNIFE.
“HOSTAGES MUST BE THIS GUYS SPECIALTY.” JAMEZ SAID.
“PUT HIM DOWN DAN” EAZY SAID.
“STOP CALLING ME THAT” DAN SAID.
“DAN?” HE SAID.
“FUCK YOU!!” DAN SAID.
“I'M SORRY??” EAZY SAID.
“NOT YOU NIGGER!” DAN SAID. “FUCK JAMEZ AND SHIDO! FUCK ALL OF NR!! NR RUINED MY LIFE!”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??” I SAID.
“I USED TO HAVE POWER...I USED TO BE SOMEONE!” DAN SAID.
DAN PUSHED THE SOLDIER DOWN. HE GRABBED HIS FACE AND....PULLED IT OFF. HE TOSSED IT ON THE FLOOR AND WE SAW HIS REAL FACE.
DAN WAS..COREY.
“COREY??” I SAID.
“THATS RIGHT!!” COREY SAID. “I USED TO OWN FC! I WAS A RULER! AND THEN THIS FAGGOT AJ COMES!”
COREY OPENED HIS SHIRT. THERE WAS A BOMB UNDERNEATH IT.
“HE STEALS ALL MY PEOPLE! I FUCKING HATE HIM AND I HATE HIS SUPPORTERS! JAMEZ AND SHIDO!!” COREY SAID.
“COREY, LETS BE COOL HERE..” EAZY SAID.
“SHUT UP YOU NIGGER!” COREY SAID. “HE NUKED MY COUNTRY! PEOPLE THOUGHT I DIED BUT I DIDNT! I FUCKING LIVED ON THE STREETS FOR YEARS!”
“COREY, TAKE THE BOMB OFF OR WE'LL SHOOT” EAZY SAID.
“THEN ONE DAY SUNNY COMES TO ME AND TELLS ME HOW I CAN BE A RULER AGAIN! SWC'S ARENT THE EVIL ONES! NR ARE THE EVIL ONES! GODS EVIL AND CRUEL! SUNNY IS THE TRUE GOD” COREY SAID.
“COREY GET THE FUCKING BOMB OFF OR IM BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT” EAZY SAID.
“THATS WHAT IM COUNTING ON DOUCHEBAG” COREY SAID. “THE MINUTE I DIE I BECOME EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN SHIDO. I BECOME A DEMON.”
THATS WHAT I NEVER THOUGHT OF. EVEN IF I DO KILL SUNNY OR RK...WONT THEY JUST COME BACK? AND WHEN I KILL SOMONE LIKE COREY, HE'LL JUST BECOME MORE OF A THREAT.
“IM GOING TO BECOME A DEMON AND IM TAKING ALL OF YOU TO HELL WITH ME” COREY SAID.
“THE FUCK YOU ARE” EAZY SAID.
AND EAZY SHOT COREY IN THE HEAD. COREY FELL OVER DEAD.
WE ALL STOOD THERE FOR A SECOND WAITING FOR COREY TO REINCARNATE BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.
WE MET UP WITH COLTEN AGAIN AT THE PILLAR. WE ACTIVATED THE PILLAR AND IT SAID “WHAT IS N_GAMERS TRUE ORIENTATION.”
“WELL THAT'S A MYSTERY.” JAMEZ SAID.
“THATS IT!” I SAID. “THE ANSWER IS MYSTERY!”
“SO WHAT DO WE HAVE SO FAR.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WE HAVE HILLS, MYTH, MYSTERY..” I SAID.
“PAM ANDERSON.” JAMEZ SAID.
“NO YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.” I SAID.
“HEY GUYS THANKS FOR YOUR HELP TODAY” EAZY SAID.
“YOUR WELCOME” I SAID EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT DO ANYTHING.
“HOW ABOUT WE GIVE YOU A RIDE BACK TO OUR PLACE?” EAZY SAID.
“SURE.” I SAID.
WE TOOK A RIDE IN ARMORED VEHICLES. IT WAS COOL LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW LOOKING AT THE SCENERY OF AUSTRAILIA.
THEN I SAW HIM. WARIO, LYING THERE ON THE DUSTY GROUND.
“STOP!!” I SAID.
ME AND COLTEN HOPPED OUT OF THE VEHICLE.
“WARIO!” COLTEN YELLED.
“COLTEN...” WARIO SAID.
“WARIO WHAT HAPPENED??” COLTEN SAID.
“THEY WERE TOO STRONG FOR ME COLTEN...” WARIO SAID.
“WARIO DON'T DIE!” COLTEN SAID.
“IT'LL BE OKAY, COLTEN.” WARIO SAID.
“NO WARIO YOU'RE MY ONLY FRIEND!” COLTEN SAID.
“NOT ANYMORE.” WARIO SAID. “YOU HAVE NEW FRIENDS.”
“WARIO! WARIO!” COLTEN SAID.
BUT WARIO HAD ALREADY DIED.
WE BURIED WARIO.
IT TOOK 5 DAYS.
“COLTEN.” I SAID. “ARE YOU OKAY?”
“I WANT TO KILL BOTH THOSE BASTARDS.” COLTEN SAID.
“WELL NOW WE DONT HAVE ANY TRANSPORTATION EITHER.” JAMEZ SAID.
“WE CAN GIVE YOU ANY THING YOU NEED.” EAZY SAID.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE NEGRO” A FAMILIAR VOICE SAID. “THEY ALREADY GOT A BOAT.”
IT WAS IZZY!
“IZZY! YOU'RE BACK!” I SAID.
“AND SO AM I.” NICK SAID.
“ME AND NICK DECIDED THAT WE'D RATHER DIE FIGHTING WITH YOU GUYS THAN LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE SWC RULES” IZZY SAID. “NOW, LET'S GO TO AMERICA.”

“ALRIGHT IZZY” I SAID. “GET IN THE WATER.”
IZZY DOVE INTO THE WATER AND FLOATED BACK UP ON HIS STOMACH.
“ALL ABOARD” IZZY SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO” EAZY SAID. “ARE YOU SURE YOU DONT WANT MY ARMY TO HELP YOU GUYS?”
“THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS HOLD UP AUSTRAILIA EAZY” I SAID. “BEGIN REBUILDING CIVILAZATION”
“WELL ALRIGHT THEN SHIDO” EAZY SAID. “BUT TAKE THIS.”
HE HANDED ME A GRENADE.
“WHAT'S THIS?” I SAID.
“A GRENADE” EAZY SAID. “BUT NOT JUST ANY GRENADE. THIS HAS TWICE THE POWER OF A NORMAL ONE. USE IT WISELY”
“I DOUBT IM GOING TO USE THIS.” I SAID.
“FUCK OFF” EAZY SAID.
WE ALL CLIMBED ONTO IZZY.
“FUCK” IZZY SAID.
“WHAT?” I SAID.
“THERES ANOTHER FATASS ON ME.” IZZY SAID.
“COLTEN” JAMEZ SAID.
“SO WHAT” COLTEN SAID.
“A FAT PERSON CANCELS OUT A FAT PERSONS ABILITY TO BECOME A BOAT.” IZZY SAID. “ITS COMMON SENSE”
“WELL THEN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO HERE.” I SAID.
“COLTENS GOING TO HAVE TO BECOME ANOTHER BOAT.” IZZY SAID.
“TWO BOATS?” NICK SAID.
“YEAH” IZZY SAID. “JAMEZ AND NICK ON ME AND SHIDO ON COLTEN”
“I GUESS WE COULD TRY THAT” COLTEN SAID.
“ALRIGHT THEN LET'S DO THIS” IZZY SAID.
COLTEN ROLLED OFF IZZY AND INTO THE WATER. I CLIMBED ONTO COLTEN.
“ALRIGHT NOW LETS HEAD OFF THE AMERICA.” IZZY SAID.
“WAIT” I SAID. “I HAVE AN IDEA.”
“?” EVERYONE SAID.
“WE HAVE TWO BOATS RIGHT? WELL ONE TEAM GOES TO NORTH AMERICA, ONE TEAM GOES TO SOUTH AMERICA.” I SAID.
“AND THEN WE MEET UP IN ANTARCTICA” IZZY SAID.
“EXACTLY” I SAID.
“OKAY IM UP FOR IT” JAMEZ SAID.
“SO WHO'S GOING TO NORTH AMERICA” NICK SAID.
“IF I MAY BUT IN HERE” EAZY SAID. “NORTH AMERICA IS THE SECOND MOST RESTRICTED AREA IN THE WORLD, BESIDES ASIA. YOU'LL NEED SOME SRS BALLS TO GO THROUGH THERE.”
“SO WE'LL TAKE SOUTH AMERICA” JAMEZ SAID.
“BUT YOU HAVE MORE PEOPLE” I SAID.
“BUT YOU'RE SHIDO” JAMEZ SAID.
“TRUE...I AM PRETTY AWESOME..” I SAID.
“SHIDO” EAZY SAID. “PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU OUT HERE.”
“EAZY DAMMIT NO YOU ALREADY GAVE ME A GRENADE” I SAID.
“WELL SINCE YOU'RE A LITTLE SHORT OF MEN HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU ONE OF MY SOLDIERS. JUST ONE.” EAZY SAID.
“I GUESS THERES NO HARM IN THAT” I SAID. “WHO IS IT.”
“HIS NAME IS JALEN.” EAZY SAID.
“OH WELL BRING HIM OVER HERE” I SAID.
“JALEN PLEASE COME OVER HERE” EAZY SAID.
A BLACK NERDY KID WEARING A BIKE HELMET WALKED OVER TO US.
“WUT YO” HE SAID.
“JALEN, THIS IS SHIDO” EAZY SAID.
“OYA SUP” JALEN SAID.
“WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BIKE HELMET.” I SAID.
“HE HAS TO KEEP IT ON AT ALL TIMES.” EAZY SAID.
“WHY” I SAID.
“HIS HEAD IS VERY FRAGILE.” EAZY SAID.
“OH IS HE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, HES SO SMART HIS BRAINS ABOUT TO LEAK OUT OF HIS NOSE OR SOMETHING?” I SAID.
“NO, HE HAS DOWN SYNDROME.” EAZY SAID.
“OH” I SAID.
“NO DAMMIT JALEN DONT EAT THAT ROCK” EAZY SAID.
“OH” JALEN SAID.
“WELL GUYS LETS HEAD OFF” I SAID. “WE TAKE NORTH AMERICA”
“JALEN ARE YOU WEARING YOUR PULLUPS” EAZY SAID.
“YESSIR” JALEN SAID.
“PULLUPS?” COLTEN SAID.
“YEAH HE SHITS HIS PANTS ON BOATRIDES.” EAZY SAID.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS” COLTEN SAID.
“HOLD ON LET ME GET HIS FLOATEES” EAZY SAID.
FINALLY WITH JALEN ON COLTEN, WE SAILED OFF TO NORTH AMERICA.
“SO JALEN” I SAID. “LETS COME UP WITH THE PLAN TO GET INTO NORTH AMERICA”
“I ALWEDY KNOW THE PWAN” JALEN SAID.
“OKAY THEN, WHAT IS IT” I SAID.
“UP B, DOWN B, SMASH, AIR ATTACK, AND TAUNT.” JALEN SAID.
“....OKAY” I SAID. “I THINK WE SHOULD COME UP WITH-”
“DUUUGHUDFHSDUFHFUSDHASFSDA” JALEN SCREAMED. “SZLGJFSDKJGSDF”
“WHOA WHOA WHOA CALM DOWN” I SAID.
“IM GONNA SHIT” JALEN SAID.
“NO” COLTEN SAID. “NO DAMMIT”
“TOO WATE” JALEN SAID.
“THATS DISGUSTING” COLTEN SAID.
IN THE DISTANCE I SAW ANOTHER BOAT.
“DAMMIT I KNEW JAMEZ SHOULDNT HAVE READ THE DIRECTIONS TO IZZY.” I SAID.
BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WASNT IZZY. IT WAS A REAL BOAT. A GUN SHIP ACTUALLY.
“OH FUCK” I SAID. “COLTEN, DIVE!”
“THIS ISNT FUCKING SEASHIP CAPTAIN SHIDO” COLTEN SAID. “I CANT JUST DIVE”
“THERE IS A GUNSHIP RIGHT OVER THERE” I SAID. “IM ASSUMING ITS MT SO LETS DIVE”
“ALRIGHT THEN” COLTEN SAID.
“WAIT WHAT ABOUT JALEN” I SAID.
“DERP” JALEN SAID FOAMING AT HIS MOUTH WHILE MASTURBATING TO A CLOUD.
“FUCK THAT RETARD HES GOT HIS FLOATEES” COLTEN SAID.
ME AND COLTEN DOVE UNDER THE WATER. I WAS GOOD AT HOLDING MY BREATH UNDERWATER. ITS BECAUSE MY FATHER FORCED ME TO ACT IN GAY HOTTUB PORN UNTIL I WAS 9.
I SAW JALEN FLOATING ABOVE US. I SAW DIAREHHA EXPLODE FROM HIS PANTS.
I WATCHED THE GUNSHIP APPROACH HIM. I WAS RUNNING OUT OF BREATH.
THEN BULLETS SHOT OUT INTO THE WATER. I WAS UNHIT, AS WAS COLTEN.
BUT JALENS MUSH OF A BODY FLOATED ON THE TOP OF THE WATER.
I HAD TO BREATH NOW. I SWAM TO THE TOP OF THE WATER AND LET IN A DEEP BREATH.
THE GUNSHIP WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, BUT I WAS EITHER IN SOME SORT OF BLIND SPOT OR THEY WERENT PAYING ATTENTION.
COLTEN CAME UP RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
“WHAT DO WE DO SHIDO?” HE SAID.
“SHH” I SAID.
I COULD HEAR PEOPLE TALKING ON THE SHIP.
“REMEMBER GUYS” ONE GUY SAID. “THESE WATERS ARE TOTALLY RESTRICTED. ANYONE CAUGHT IN THEM IS DEAD NO MATTER WHAT.”
“BUT WE JUST KILLED A RETARD” ANOTHER GUY SAID. “THATS JUST PLAIN WRONG.”
“HYPER STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN HIPPIE LIBERAL.” ANOTHER MAN SAID.
I REALIZED IT WAS HYPER, MASTER, AND MUSIC TALKING.
“IT'S TEAM 2 OF SWC” I WHISPERED TO COLTEN.
“TEAM 2?” COLTEN SAID.
“SECOND STRONGEST TEAM.” I SAID.
“NOW” MASTER SAID. “HYPER YOU TAKE WEST POINT, MUSIC YOU TAKE EAST. I KNOW THAT RETARD DIDNT SWIM TO THE MIDDLE OF THE INDIAN OCEAN BY HIMSELF.”
“IF WE SWIM THEY'LL SEE US AND WE'LL DIE” COLTEN SAID.
“I KNOW” I SAID.
I HAD TO THINK. HOW WOULD WE GET PAST THESE GUYS?
I REMEMBERED MY GRENADE. I TOOK IT OUT.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” COLTEN SAID.
“THIS GRENADE HAS THE TWICE THE POWER OF A REGULAR GRENADE.” I SAID. “I'LL BLOW UP THE BOAT.”
“AND US DUMBASS.” COLTEN SAID. “GUN SHIPS HAVE OIL ON THEM. WE'LL DIE TOO.”
“DAMMIT.” I SAID.
I PUT THE GRENADE AWAY.
“I HAVE AN IDEA” COLTEN SAID. “IF THERES A BIGGER PROBLEM GOING ON, THEY WONT PAY ATTENTION TO THE SEA.”
“YEAH....YEAH..” I SAID.
“BUT WHAT?” COLTEN SAID.
I TURNED MY ATTENTION TO JALEN'S FLOATEES WHICH WERE NOW ALONE. I PICKED ONE UP.
“I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.” I SAID.
I DOVE UNDER THE GUNSHIP. I SWAM UNTIL I SAW THE JETS THAT MADE IT MOVE. I JAMMED THE FLOATEE INTO THE JET AND SWAM BACK UP.
“THERE” I SAID.
“WTF” I HEARD MASTER SAID. “I THINK ONE OF THE JETS IS JAMMED. HYPER, GO CHECK IT OUT”
“WAIT TO GO SHERLOCK” COLTEN SAID.
“DAMMIT” I SAID. “WERE FUC-”
“OH SO NOOOOOOW YOU NEED THE HIPPIE LIBERAL” HYPER SAID.
“HYPER YOU'RE OUR BEST BREATH HOLDER-ER.” MASTER SAID. “GO CHECK IT OUT”
“FUCK NO” HYPER SAID. “YOU CHECK IT OUT JACKASS”
“MUSIC” MASTER SAID. “GO CHECK IT OUT”
“B-B-B-B-B-B-BUT I IS AFRAID OF WATER BOSS” MUSIC SAID.
“GOD DAMMIT” MASTER SAID.
“NOW” I SAID. “SWIM”
I GOT ON COLTEN AND WE BEGAN SPEEDING OFF PAST THE GUNSHIP. WE HEARD TEAM 2 FIGHTING UNTIL WE COULDNT SEE THEM ANYMORE. SOON WE CAME TO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.
WE WASHED UP ON THE SHORE OF FLORIDA.
“ALRIGHT COLTEN” I SAID. “LETS BE VERY CAREFUL”
“RIGHT” COLTEN SAID.
I HEARD TWO GUYS WALKING.
“COLTEN, QUICK BEHIND THIS TREE” I SAID.
ME AND COLTEN HID BEHIND THIS TREE.
TWO MT SOLDIERS WALKED PAST US TALKING.
“COLTEN” I SAID. “I HAVE AN IDEA”
“?” COLTEN SAID.
“LETS KILL THEM AND TAKE THEIRUNIFORMS. THEN WE PRETEND TO BE THEM.” I SAID.
“THATS JUST CLICHé ENOUGH TO WORK” COLTEN SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE GOLDEN SWORD.
“NOW, LETS MAKE THIS QUIET AND CLEAN.” I SAID.
“WAIT WHAT DO I KILL MY GUY WITH” COLTEN SAID.
“I FIGURED ID KILL BOTH OF THEM.” I SAID.
“NONONO” COLTEN SAID. “IF IM GOING TO BE APART OF THIS TEAM, I NEED TO BE APART OF THE ACTION.”
“HMMM OKAY” I SAID. “USE...THIS STICK”
I HANDED HIM A STICK I FOUND ON THE GROUND.
“ITS A LITTLE DULL” COLTEN SAID PICKING AT THE END OF THE STICK.
“JUST STICK IT HARDER THEN.” I SAID.
“BUT ISNT IT A LITTLE SMALL” COLTEN SAID.
“COLTEN, IM ASIAN, SO I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY SIZE DOESNT MATTER” I SAID.
“WTF R U GUYS DOING.” ONE OF THE GUARDS SAID.
“WTF” I SAID.
“WEVE BEEN WATCHING YOU GUYS FOR MINUTES.” THE OTHER ONE SAID. “WHERE ARE YOUR UNIFORMS.”
THE IDIOTS THOUGHT WE WERE APART OF MT! THIS COULD WORK OUT GREATLY! WE JUST GET THEM TO TAKE US TO THE MT BASE AND...
“DIE!!” COLTEN SAID.
HE JABBED THE STICK AT THE GUYS STOMACH BUT HE DIDNT EVEN MAKE A SCRATCH.
“...O...OW” THE GUY SAID. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR”
“MY PARTNERS A LITTLE CRAZY-” I SAID.
“WERE HERE TO STOP YOU AND SWC!” COLTEN SAID. “NOW DIE”
COLTEN KEPT TRYING TO STAB THE MAN.
“WAIT...ARE YOU THOSE GUYS WHO ARE AGAINST SWC?” THE GUY GETTING JABBED AT SAID.
“NO” I SAID.
“YES!” COLTEN SAID.
“THANK. GOD.” THE JABBED GUY SAID.
“?” I SAID.
“I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU GUYS.” JABBY SAID. “MY NAMES WOLFIE”
“WOLFIE WEVE SEEN YOU LIKE 1000 TIMES.” I SAID.
“SHIDO, HAVENT YOU NOTICED THAT CHARACTERS IN FINR JUST KEEP GETTING REUSED?” WOLFIE SAID. “I MEAN, HOW MANY SNAKEPITS HAVE THERE BEEN?”
“IM NOT SURE.” I SAID.
I TURNED TO THE OTHER GUY.
“AND WHATS YOUR NAME?” I SAID.
“SNAKEPIT.” HE SAID.
“OH” I SAID.
“LOOK, MT AND SWC FUCKING SUCK.” WOLFIE SAID. “FIRST OF ALL, SUNNY, RK, AND ZIRO RANDOMLY KILL A GUY EVERYDAY FOR FUN. SECOND OF ALL THERES NO HEALTHCARE. AND I JUST HATE THE HOURS.”
“WEVE DECIDED WEEKS AGO THAT IF WE FOUND YOU GUYS WE WANTED TO JOIN YOUR TEAM.” SNAKEPIT SAID.
“MAN WERE GETTING ALOT OF TEAMMATES” I SAID. “WELL, WHAT ARE YOUR SKILLS?”
“WE WANT TO BE THE INSIDE JOBS.” WOLFIE SAID. “WE'LL GIVE YOU INFORMATION AND CRAP ABOUT WHATS GOING ON.”
“BUT HOW” COLTEN SAID.
“HERE.” SNAKEPIT SAID.
HE HANDED ME A WALKIE TALKIE.
“THATS MY WALKIE TALKIE” HE SAID. “YOU CAN TALK TO WOLFIE THROUGH IT.”
“NICE.” I SAID.
“NOW.” WOLFIE SAID. “SCRAM. IF THIS IS GOING TO WORK, WE CANT BE SEEN WITH YOU AT ALL.”
“DONT WORRY WOLFIE, I WOULD NEVER BE CAUGHT DEAD WITH YOU.” I SAID. “ALSO JAMEZ WADE RAPED YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HEAD TWICE. GOODBYE.”
ME AND COLTEN MARCHED OFF.
“SHIDO?” COLTEN SAID. “HOW CAN WE TRUST THEM?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” I SAID.
“YOU LET ANYONE WHO ASKS INTO OUR LITTLE GROUP.” COLTEN SAID. “IM JUST SAYING, HOW DO WE KNOW THESE GUYS ARENT GOING TO SCREW US?”
“ITLL BE FINE COLTEN.” I SAID. “THEY CANT SCREW US OVER AN INTERCOM.”
“ALSO, HOW DO WE KNOW WHERE WERE GOING?” COLTEN SAID.
“WE DONT.” I SAID.
“WE SHOULD HAVE ASKED THOSE GUYS WHERE THE PILLAR WAS HUH.” COLTEN SAID.
“..DAMMIT.” I SAID.
I TURNED ON THE WALKIE TALKIE.
“WOLFIE?” I SAID.
“...YEAH?” WOLFIE SAID BACK.
“UM.” I SAID. “WHERES THE PILLAR.”
“THE PILLAR? OH.” WOLFIE SAID. “ITS DOOOOOOOOOOOWN BY THE GRAND CANYON.”
“GOD DAMMIT.” I SAID. “WERE IN FUCKING FLORIDA. ITLL TAKE MONTHS TO WALK TO THE GRAND CANYON.”
“WELL, WE CAN GET YOU A JET.” WOLFIE SAID.
“SEE SHIDO?” COLTEN SAID. “THESE GUYS ARE TRYING TO FUCK US.”
“COLTEN SHUSH.” I SAID. “WOLFIE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. GO AHEAD AND MEET US AT MIAMI.”
“IGHT” WOLFIE SAID.
“WOLFIE, I REALLY DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT THIS.” COLTEN SAID.
“COLTEN.” I SAID. “SHUT UP.”
WE GOT TO MIAMI WHICH WAS NOW A WASTELAND, AND SAW A JET WAITING THERE FOR US.
WOLFIE WAS STANDING NEXT TO IT.
“I DONT KNOW HOW TO FLY.” I SAID.
“THATS WHY WE PROVIDED A PILOT FOR YOU.” WOLFIE SAID.
“WHO?” I SAID.
“HURRY, INTO THE JET NO TIME TO TALK” WOLFIE SAID.
WE CLIMBED INTO THE JET.
WE TOOK OFF AND WOLFIE BECAME AN ANT AS WE FLEW UP.
“THIS IS COOL.” I SAID.
“SHIDO....” COLTEN SAID. “ISNT IT weird HOW WE WERE RUSHED ONTO HERE?”
“ITS BECAUSE WE CANT BE SEEN WITH HIM COLTEN.” I SAID. “GAWD. PARANOID.”
WE FLEW FOR AN HOUR. THEN COLTEN LEANED OVER TO ME.
“SHIDO...” COLTEN SAID. “I JUST CHECKED MY GPS.”
“THOSE WORK IN AIR?” I SAID.
“IN THIS STORY THEY DO.” COLTEN SAID. “AND IT SAYS WERE NOT HEADING TO THE GRAND CANYON. WERE HEADING TO NEW YORK.”
“NEW YORK?” I SAID. “ARE YOU SURE?”
“CHECK IT.” COLTEN SAID.
HE HANDED ME HIS GPS.
WE WERE IN THE SHITTIEST STATE IN THE WORLD, AND NEW YORK WAS RIGHT ABOVE US. YUP, WE WERE HEADING FOR NEW YORK.
“THOSE GPSES ALWAYS BRAKE COLTEN.” I SAID. “ITS PROBABLY WRONG.”
“THEN GO CHECK THE PILOTS GPS IN THE COCKPIT.” COLTEN SAID.
“LOLCOCK” I SAID. “FINE, PUSSY.”
I GOT UP AND WALKED TO THE COCKPIT. LOLCOCK.
“HEY” I SAID WHEN I WALKED IN. “CAN I CHECK THE-”
I FROZE IN TOTAL FEAR. IN THE PILOT SEAT WAS NONE OTHER THAN
METANIC.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I SAID.
I RAN OUT.
“WHAT?? WHAT????” COLTEN SAID.
“OUR PILOTS A FUCKING TERRORIST” I SAID.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH” COLTEN SAID.
“ATTENTION ALL PASSANGERS” METANIC SAID OVER THE INTERCOM. “WE ARE HEADING TO NEW YORK. IN ABOUT ONE HOUR, WE WILL BE PARTICIPATING IN 9/11 2.”
“LISTEN YOU FUCKING UNFUNNY CUNT” I SAID. “YOUR IDEA OF HUMOR IS SHIT AND YOUR MOM IS A GOAT”
“LOLIDC” METANIC SAID. “WERE ALL GOING TO DIE TOGETHER. THEN I'LL GET 72 VIRGINS”
“AND YOURE ONE OF THEM BITCH” I SAID.
“I TOLD YOU SHIDO. I FUCKING TOLD YOU” COLTEN SAID.
“LETS GET THE PARACHUTES COLTEN” I SAID.
“NO I WONT LET YOU!” METANIC SAID.
METANIC CAME RUNNING OUT OF THE COCKPIT LOLCOCK BUT I PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE AND HE STUMBLED BACK BECAUSE HES AN OUT OF SHAPE LOSER.
“COLTEN, GET THE PARACHUTES” I SAID. “I'LL TAKE CARE OF ABU”
“DONT THINK WE DIDNT PLAN FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS SHIDO” METANIC SAID.
“ACTUALLY I KNOW YOU DIDNT, BECAUSE IF YOU DID THEY WOULD BE NO PARACHUTES OF THE PLANE.” I SAID.
“DAMN.” METANIC SAID. “WELL I CAN STILL KICK YOU ASS.”
METANIC PUNCHED BUT I LEANED BACK AND DODGED IT. HE KICKED ME IN THE BAWLS AND THEN SHOVED ME OUT OF THE WAY.
I GRABBED HIS FOOT AS HE RAN PAST ME TRIPPING HIM.
“I GOT THEM” COLTEN SAID.
COLTEN PUT HIS ON A THRUSTED OUT OF THE PLANE. HE TOSSED ME MINE. I PICKED MINE UP, BUT THEN I WAS TACKLED BY METANIC.
I PUSHED HIS FACE UP, AND THEN KICKED HIM OFF OF ME.
I PUT ON MY PARACHUTE AND LOOKED BACK AT METANIC.
“GO FUCK YOURSELF, FAGGOT.” I SAID.
AND THEN I JUMPED OFF WITH HIM WATCHING ME.
SKY DIVING IS PRETTY SCARY. ESPECIALLY WITHOUT ANY EQUIPMENT. I JUST FLIPFLOPPED AND IT FELT LIKE MY EYES WERE GOING TO FLY OUT OF MY HEAD.
I WAS ABOUT 50 FEET FROM THE GROUND SO I WAS ABOUT TO UNLEASH MY PARACHUTE.
BUT THEN METANIC CAME DOWN AND WHACKED ME IN THE FACE.HE WAS FLYING DOWN WITH ME, WITH NO PARACHUTE.
I KICKED HIM AWAY FROM ME BUT THEN HE GRABBED MY LEG.
“LET GO!” I SAID.
I KICKED HIS FACE WITH MY OTHER LEG BUT HE DIDNT LET GO. HE SPRUNG UP AND GRABBED MY HEAD.
“GET OFF!” I SAID.
HE POUNDED HIS KNEE RIGHT INTO MY FACE.
I PUNCHED HIM IN THE STOMACH.
YES. IT WAS AN AIR FIGHT.
HE HEADBUTTED ME ONCE, TWICE, NO THREE TIMES, AND THEN PUNCHED MY JAW.
THEN HE HUGGED ME.
“IF YOU WANT TO LIVE, YOU'LL HAVE TO SAVE ME TOO” METANIC SAID.
I WAS DROPPING FAST, AND THE GROUND WAS COMING UP, SO I HAD NO CHOICE. I DEPLOYED MY PARACHUTE. WE ROLLED AROUND IN THE SKY FOR A SECOND BEFORE COMING TO A PEACEFUL FLOATING.
THEN METANIC SCRATCHED MY FACE.
“JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PUSSY DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT LIKE A PUSSY” I SAID.
I TRIED TO PUSH HIM OFF OF ME BUT HE HUGGED TIGHTER. HE WAS LIKE A SNAKE EXCEPT UGLIER.
“NOW THAT IM SAFE...” METANIC SAID.
HE PULLED OUT A KNIFE.
“DIE SHIDO” HE SAID.
I TRIED TO GRAB THE KNIFE BUT THE BACKPACK OF THE PARACHUTE COVERED IT MAKING IT HARD TO GRAB.
HE STABBED ME ONCE BUT DIDNT HIT ANYTHING MAJOR. HE STABBED ME AGAIN IN THE SAME SPOT. I GRABBED THE HAND WITH THE KNIFE AS HE AIMED IT FOR MY NECK TRYING TO PUSH IT BACK. HE PUSHED IT FORWARD, AND WE WERE SOON IN A STRUGGLE OVER THE KNIFE. I PUSHED FOR MY LIFE, HE PUSHED FOR MY LIFE. I HEADBUTTED HIM BUT THAT DIDNT DO ANYTHING. I BECAME TIRED, AND SOON THE KNIFE STARTED GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO MY NECK.
THEN BAM!
A BULLET SCRAPED ALONG THE BACK OF METANICS HEAD AND BLOOD FLEW UP.
“AHH!” METANIC SAID.
HE DROPPED THE KNIFE FROM THE PAIN, BUT I CAUGHT IT.
I SLASHED HIS THROAT AND PUSHED HIM OFF OF ME AND WATCHED HIM DROP 15 FEET.
I LANDED ONTOP OF HIS DEAD CORPSE AND SAW COLTEN THERE WITH A GUN.
“REMEMBER YOU GAVE ME THAT GUN JUST IN CASE?” HE SAID.
“NICE THINKING, BUT YOUR SHOT WAS FAR OFF. IT ONLY SCRAPED HIM.” I SAID.
“OH SORRY” HE SAID.
“DONT BE, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.” I SAID.
“I SAVED YOUR LIFE?” COLTEN SAID. “COOL.”
“STILL GOT THAT GPS?” I SAID.
“YUP.” COLTEN SAID. “WERE IN NORTH NEW JERSEY.”
I TOOK OUT THE WALKIE TALKIE.
“HEY WOLFIE.” I SAID. “YOU'RE FUCKING GARBAGE. IM COMING FOR YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT”
“GOOD LUCK.” WOLFIE SAID.
“SHIDO, LOOK!” COLTEN SAID.
HE FLIPPED THE WALKIE TALKIE OVER. ON THE BACK IT WAS GLOWING RED.
“TRACKING DEVICE, DAMMIT.” I SAID.
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO DESTROY IT BUT COLTEN STOPPED ME.
“NO SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID. “GIVE ME IT.”
HE REMOVED THE TRACKING DEVICE FROM THE WALKIE TALKIE.
WE WALKED AROUND, HIDING FROM THE PUBLIC. THEN WHEN COLTEN FOUND A DUMPSTER, COLTEN TOSSED THE TRACKING DEVICE IN.
“TRASH DAYS TODAY.” COLTEN SAID. “THEYRE GOING TO BE GOING NUTS FINDING US. PLUS WE STILL HAVE THE WALKIE TALKIE SO WE CAN STILL MAKE THEM THINK THEYRE STILL FOLLOWING US.”
“CLEVER.” I SAID. “NOW HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET TO THE REAL GRAND CANYON?”
“SIMPLE.” COLTEN SAID. “AIRPORT.”

“YOU EXPECT THEM TO JUST LET US GET ON AN AIRPLANE?” I SAID.
“OF COURSE NOT” COLTEN SAID. “WE HAVE TO SNEAK ON.”
“WELL HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT.” I SAID. “YOU KNOW HOW AIRPORT SECURITY IS.”
“YOU'RE THE LEADER HERE SHIDO, YOU TELL ME.” COLTEN SAID.
I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND.
“COLTEN.” I SAID. “I HAVE AN IDEA BUT IT'S PRETTY RISKY.”
“WHAT IS IT” COLTEN SAID.
“WE STEAL A PLANE.” I SAID.
“HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT” COLTEN SAID.
“WE WALK IN AND WE HOLD THE PLACE UP” I SAID.
“IMPOSSIBLE.” COLTEN SAID.
“NO” I SAID. “WE GO IN AND KILL EVERYONE. THE SECURITY WONT BE ABLE TO STOP US”
“YOU'RE INSANE SHIDO” COLTEN SAID.
“WE GOT TONS OF WEAPONS” I SAID. “COLTEN. LETS DO THIS SHIT.”
“I...” COLTEN SAID. “WELL. OKAY.”
ME AND COLTEN WALKED TO THE CLOSESTS NEW JERSEY AIRPORT.
“ALRIGHT COLTEN” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT A SMOKE BOMB.
“I'LL THROW THIS AND WE RUN IN AND START LIGHTING THE PLACE UP” I SAID.
“THEYLL NEVER SEE US” COLTEN SAID.
“RIGHT, AND BY THE TIME THE SMOKE CLEARS OUT WE'LL ALREADY HAVE AN ADVANTAGE” I SAID. “ON THE COUNT OF 3. 1....2....3!!”
I SMASHED THREW THE GLASS DOORS AND THREW THE SMOKE BOMB ON THE GROUND. A HUGE PUFF OF SMOKE BLEW OUT AND ME AND COLTEN STARTED FIRING RANDOMLY INTO THE SMOKE. I COULD HEAR SCREAMS AND PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND. I CONTINUED FIRING UNTIL IT WAS SILENT.
THE SMOKE CLEARED OUT AND WE SAW THE BLOOD EVERYWHERE.
“WELL.” COLTEN SAID. “WE CLEARED OUT THE LOBBY OF THE FIRST FLOOR.”
“HURRY.” I SAID. “THEYLL SEE THIS AND BE DISTRACTED. WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET A PLANE.”
THEN A MAN JUMPED UP FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER. HE HAD A GUN AND SHOT TWICE. HIS FIRST BULLET MISSED BUT THE SECOND ONE HIT COLTEN IN THE SHOULDER.
COLTEN DROPPED HIS GUN.
I SHOT THE MAN AND HE DIED.
“COLTEN CMON” I SAID.
“ONE SEC..” COLTEN SAID.
HE REACHED DOWN CAREFULLY AND PICKED UP HIS GUN.
“HOLD IT!” A GUY SAID FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.
IT WAS MUSIC.
“FUCKFUCKFUCK” I SAID. “LETS GO!!”
ME AND COLTEN RAN UP THE STAIRS TO THE SECOND FLOOR AND MUSIC CHASED AFTER US.
THE SECOND FLOOR WAS THE BAG CHECKS. THERE WERE POLICE AND CIVILIANS CHECKING BAGS.
“AW SHIT” COLTEN SAID.
“COLTEN KILL THEM” I SAID. “I'LL TAKE CARE OF MUSIC.”
COLTEN RAN AHEAD AS I STOPPED AND HEADED THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
MUSIC GOT UP THE STAIRS AND I SLAMMED HIM INTO THE WALL.
“FUCK YOU” MUSIC SAID.
HE PUSHED ME DOWN AND KICKED ME IN THE SIDE. HE BENT DOWN AND SNATCHED MY GUN OUT OF MY HANDS.
“THEY SAID IM NOT SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU” MUSIC SAID. “BUT I DONT REALLY GIVE A FUCK.”
HE POINTED THE GUN AT ME AND FIRED, BUT I ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY.
I TOOK THE SWORD OUT OF MY POCKET AND SLAMMED MUSIC INTO THE WALL AGAIN BUT THIS TIME I STARTED STABBING HIM. I STABBED HIM LIKE 13 TIMES, JUST CUTTING INTO HIS STOMACH. HIS BLOOD WAS ALL OVER MY SHIRT AND THE SWORD. HE VOMITED BLOOD ONTO THE FLOOR AND FELL DEAD. I HAD KILLED A SWC.
I PUT THE SWORD AWAY AND PICKED UP MY GUN.
DOWN THE STAIRS, I COULD SEE MASTER AND HYPER RUNNING TO ME. I SHOT AT THEM AND THEY GOT SCARED AND TOOK COVER.
“SHIDO!” COLTEN YELLED. “HELP!”
COLTEN WAS HIDING BEHIND A DESK AS TWO POLICEMEN STOOD THERE WITH GUNS POINTING AT THE DESK. I SHOT THEM BOTH AND THEY DIED.
MASTER AND HYPER STILL HID IN THEIR SPOTS, SO I TOOK OFF RUNNING.
“HURRY, MASTER AND HYPER ARE RIGHT BEHIND US” I SAID.
WE RAN PAST THE BAG CHECKS.
“HOW COME YOU COULDNT KILL THEM?” I SAID.
“I HAVE BAD AIM.” COLTEN SAID.
“WE'LL WORK ON THAT” I SAID.
WE RAN INTO A HALLWAY WITH GIANT GLASS WINDOWS OVERLOOKING THE PLANES.
MASTER CAME UP AND TRIED TO TACKLE ME BUT I PUSHED HIM OFF.
“SHIDO” COLTEN SAID. “I DONT THINK WE CAN GET A PLANE”
I SHOVED HYPER DOWN.
“WHY??” I SAID.
“THE AIRPORTS ON LOCKDOWN OR SOMETHING” COLTEN SAID. “WE CANT GET ON A PLANE FROM HERE”
HYPER GOT UP AND STARTED CHARGING AT ME.
“ORLY” I SAID. “BECAUSE I SEE ABOUT 5 PLANES...”
I GRABBED HYPER AND THREW HIM AT THE GLASS WINDOW. HE SMASHED THREW AND FELL DOWN.
“..RIGHT THERE.” I SAID.
MASTER PUNCHED ME BUT COLTEN KICKED HIM BACK.
“COLTEN JUMP ONTO ONE OF THOSE PLANES” I SAID. “I'LL GET THIS GUY”
COLTEN RAN AND LEAPED OUT THE SMASHED GLASS AND LANDED ON THE NOSE OF THE PLANE. THEN HE SLID OFF AND LANDED ON THE GROUND.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT” I SAID.
MASTER JUMPED AND KICKED MY HEAD. I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND HE KICKED IT OUT OF MY HAND. IT WENT FALLING DOWN TO COLTEN AND HYPER.
“COLTEN GET IT!” I SAID.
COLTEN STUMBLED TO THE SWORD BUT HE WAS PUNCHED BY HYPER WHICH BLEW HIM BACK. HYPER PICKED UP THE SWORD.
“HYPER” MASTER SAID. “THROW IT HERE.”
“NO” HYPER SAID. “I GOT IT, I KEEP IT.”
“DAMMIT HYPER THIS IS NO TIME TO BE A PUSSY” MASTER SAID.
MASTER WAS DISTRACTED BY HYPER, SO I PUSHED HIM INTO THE GLASS. HE SMASHED INTO MORE GLASS, BUT CAUGHT THE EDGE OF THE AIRPORT. THERE WAS BLOOD ALL OVER HIS HANDS FROM THE GLASS.
HE TRIED TO PULL HIMSELF BACK UP BUT I KICKED HIM IN THE TEETH AND I THINK I KNOCKED OUT A FEW.
HE STILL HELD ON TIGHT TO THE LEDGE THOUGH, SO I STOMPED ON HIS HEAD.
“AH FUCK” HE SAID.
HE PULLED HIMSELF UP, AND WAS HOLDING ONE OF THE GLASS SHARDS. HYPER TRIED TO CLIMB UP TO US, BUT COLTEN PULLED HIM DOWN.
“COLTEN BE CAREFUL” I SAID.
MASTER SLASHED AT ME BUT I JUMPED BACK. HYPER KICKED COLTEN ONTO THE GROUND.
“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE” HYPER SAID. “BUT DIE ANYWAYS”
HYPER RAISED THE SWORD FOR THE FINISHING BLOW, BUT I PICKED UP A GLASS SHARD AND THREW IT AT HYPER. IT WENT SPINNING AT FULL SPEED AND DUG RIGHT INTO HYPERS SHOULDER.
“SDFPAIOGHOP” HYPER SAID.
HE STILL TRIED TO FINISH OFF COLTEN BUT HE SLASHED TOO WEAK AND MISSED. COLTEN KICKED HYPER'S FEET, TRIPPING HIM, AND THE SWORD SLID UNDER THE PLANE.
MASTER GRABBED MY NECK AND THREW ME ON THE GROUND. HE JUMPED OUT OF THE SMASHED WINDOW AGAIN TO GET THE SWORD. I PICKED UP A GLASS SHARD AND THREW IT BUT IT MISSED. I TRIED AGAIN AND MISSED AGAIN AND NOW MASTER WAS GETTING CLOSER TO THE SWORD.
I JUMPED AND SMASHED THREW THE FRONT WINDOW OF THE PLANE.
I TUMBLED IN THE COCKPIT AND GOT UP AND RAN THROUGH THE PLANE.
“SHIDO” MASTER SAID. “WHERE ARE YOU”
I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND SAW COLTEN LYING ON THE GROUND AND MASTER WALKING AROUND WITH THE SWORD. HYPER PUSHED HIMSELF OFF THE GROUND.
I CONTINUED RUNNING THROUGH THE PLANE UNTIL I REACHED THE BACK.
“HERE IT IS” I SAID.
THE GLASSES. THE WINE BOTTLES. CHEEZE-ITS. ALL HERE.
“SO YOU WENT THROUGH HERE!” I HEARD MASTER SAY FROM THE COCKPIT.
I GRABBED A BOTTLE OF WINE.
HYPER CAME DOWN THE AISLE CAREFULLY, CHECKING EACH ROW OF SEATS FOR WHERE I MIGHT BE HIDING.
I PRESSED MY BACK AGAINST THE WALL OF THE SNACK ROOM SO HE WOULDN'T SEE ME. I OPENED THE BOTTLE OF WINE.
WHEN HE GOT CLOSE TO MY HIDING SPOT, I SPRUNG OUT.
“SHID-” HE SAID BUT THEN I SPLASHED THE WINE IN HIS EYES.
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” HYPER SAID.
I SMASHED THE EMPTY BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD AND HE KIND OF WALKED BACKWARDS. MASTER LUNGED AT ME WITH THE SWORD, SO I GRABBED HYPER AND USED HIM AS A SHIELD.
MASTER STABBED HYPER IN THE BACK.
“AHHH!” HYPER SAID.
I THREW HYPER AT MASTER AND RAN BACK INTO THE SNACK ROOM. I GRABBED TWO GLASSES.
MASTER PUSHED HYPER BACK, AND HYPER ROLLED ON THE GROUND.
I TOOK A GLASS AND SMASHED IT IN MASTERS FACE.
“HOLY SHIT” MASTER SAID.
GLASS WAS STUCK IN HIS EYES. I PUNCHED HIS FACE TO MAKE IT SINK DEEPER.
“FUCK THIS” MASTER SAID. “IM NOT TAKING YOU IN ALIVE YOU STUPID GOOK”
MASTER STABBED ME THREE TIMES WITH THE GOLDEN SWORD WHILE HOLDING MY BACK.
I SLOWLY FELL THE MY KNEES AND WATCHED MYSELF BLEED OUT.
“NOW DIE” MASTER SAID.
HE RAISED THE SWORD, BUT THE COLTEN GRABBED HIS SHOULDERS AND KNEED HIM IN THE BACK. I GOT MYSLEF UP CAREFULLY, AND SMASHED THE SECOND GLASS INTO HIS FACE, AND TOOK THE SWORD OUT OF HIS HANDS.
HE PUSHED PASSED COLTEN, AND COVERED HIS FACE THAT WAS FULLY OF BLOOD.
I WALKED TO HIM, AND HE SLAPPED MY FACE.
I TOOK ONE OF THE CUSIONS FROM A SEAT (ITS ALSO A LIFE JACKET GUISE! ) AND SMACKED HIM WITH IT.
MASTER FELL INTO A ROW OF SEATS.
HE TRIED TO PUSH HIMSELF BACK UP BUT I GRABBED HIM AND STARTED SMOTHERING HIM WITH A PILLOW. I GOT AFRAID THAT HE WOULDNT DIE FAST ENOUGH SO I STARTED STABBING HIM WITH THE SWORD THROUGH THE PILLOW WHILE STILL SMOTHERING HIM. AND I KNOW NO ONES SEEN THAT MOVIE SO THATS WHY I DID THAT.
HE STRUGGLED AT FIRST BUT SLOWLY HE STOPPED AND I PICKED UP THE PILLOW TO SEE HIS STABBED, GLASSY, BLOODY FACE.
BOTH HIS EYES WERE GONE AND BLOOD DRIPPED EVERYWHERE. TINY SHARDS OF GLASS STILL STUCK OUT DEFENDING THEIR TERRITORY ON HIS FACE.
“CHEF DAMAGED YOU” I SAID. “BUT I FINISHED YOU.”
ME AND COLTEN WENT TO JUMP OUT THE PLANE. AFTER ALL, THE FRONT WINDOW WAS SMASHED, IM NOT USING THAT SHIT.
“WAIT SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID. “LETS SHOW THEM WE MEAN BUSINESS.”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN” I SAID.
“LETS START UP THIS PLANE AND MAKE IT RUN AND CRUSH THE AIRPORT.” COLTEN SAID. “ AND INSIDE THIS PLANE THEY FIND DEAD SWC. WE CAN MAKE THEM FEAR US NOW.”
“I LIKED THAT PLAN” HYPER SAID. “BUT YOU FORGOT THE PART WHERE I KILL YOU BOTH FIRST.”
HYPER PUNCHED COLTEN AND I GRABBED HIM AND SMASHED HIS HEAD INTO THE CONTROLS OF THE PLANE.
“GAH..” HYPER SAID. “FUCK THIS”
HYPER JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW ONTO THE NOSE, AND THEN JUMPED ONTO THE ROOF OF THE AIRPORT. HE LOOKED DOWN AT ME ONE MORE TIME, AND THEN JUMPED UP TO VANISH INTO THIN AIR.
I GRABBED MASTERS DECAYING BODY AND PUT IT IN THE PILOTS SEAT. I EVEN PUT A LITTLE PILOT HAT ON HIM.
“YOU'RE FUCKING SICK” COLTEN SAID.
COLTEN STARTED UP THE PLANE AND WE BOTH JUMPED OUT.
WE WATCHED THE PLANE DRIVE ITSELF INTO THE AIRPORT SLOWLY, AND SLOWLY THE AIRPORT CRASHED IN ON ITSELF. THE AIRPORT WAS REDUCE TO A PILE OF RUBBLE, AND DID SO MUCH DAMAGE TO THE PLANE, THAT THE PLANE STOPPED MOVING AND SHUT DOWN.
“NOW.” COLTEN SAID. “WHICH AIRPLANE SHOULD WE TAKE?”
“I LIKE THAT ONE.” I SAID.
I POINTED TO A BLUE AND RED PLANE. IT WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE OTHERS. THEY WERE ALL WHITE, AND THIS ONE HAD COLOR. THIS ONE'S WINGS WERE BENT AT THE TIP TOO, AND IT HAD A SLIDING DOOR ON THE SIDE FOR EASY EXIT. IT ALSO WAS MUCH SMALLER THAN THE REST OF THE PLANES.
“YEAH, LETS TAKE THAT ONE.” COLTEN SAID.
WE HOPPED INTO THE PLANE AND COLTEN TOOK THE CONTROLS.
“DAMMIT I WISH IZZY WAS HERE.” I SAID. “HE DEFINATLY KNOWS HOW TO FLY A PLANE.”
“ARRHRGH” COLTEN SAID.
“WHAT” I SAID.
“IM STILL PISSED THAT MEGAN FOX ISNT GOING TO BE IN TRANSFORMERS 3” COLTEN SAID.
“....SO AM I...” I SAID.
“BUT ANYWAYS.” COLTEN SAID. “I CAN FLY PLANES. MY DAD WAS A PILOT AND I WAS GOING TO BE ONE TOO.”
“OH HOW CONVINENT” I SAID.
“WHAT. THE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK??” I HEARD RK SAY FROM OUTSIDE THE PLANE.
“GOGOGOGOGOGOGO” I SAID.
WE ZOOMED OFF INTO THE AIR AND I FLIPPED OFF RKFROM THE SKY.
“SHIDO, REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID TO WAIRO?” COLTEN SAID. “WHAT IF THEY DO THAT AGAIN??”
“DON'T WORRY.” I SAID.
I GOT A WINE BOTTLE FROM THE BACK. I SAW RK BLASTING TOWARDS US AND I SLID OPEN THE DOOR AND SWUNG AT HIS HEAD LIKE I WAS PLAYING A LITTLE LEAGUE GAME. RK WENT FLYING BACK AND THE WINE BOTTLE EXPLODED ON HIM. HE HIT THE GROUND AND SLID THROUGH THE DIRT.
“HURRY, LET'S LOSE HIM.” I SAID.
AFTER 6 HOURS, WE REACHED THE GRAND CANYON.
“WE'RE HERE” COLTEN SAID.
“HIDE THE PLANE SOMEWHERE.” I SAID. “I WANNA KEEP THIS.”
COLTEN HID THE PLANE IN SOME TREES (LOLTREES IN ARIZONA) AND WE JUMPED OUT.
“NOW SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID. “THE GRAND CANYON IS VERY BIG, SO THIS COULD TAKE A LOOOOOONG TIME.”
“NO COLTEN.” I SAID. “YOU SEE, ABOUT 6 HOURS AGO RK RAN TO SUNNY AND TELL THEM WE GOT A PLANE. SO RIGHT NOW, SOME MT SOLDIERS ARE PROBABLY GUARDING THE EXACT SPOT WHERE THE PILLAR IS.”
“OH” COLTEN SAID. “SO WE FIND THE SOLDIERS, WE FIND THE PILLAR?”
“EXACTLY.” I SAID.
WE WALKED ALONG THE GRAND CANYON (BTW THE GRAND CANYON IS THE FUCKING MOST BORING PLACE IN THE WORLD I WENT THERE WHEN I WAS 12 IT FUCKING SUCKS MY BROTHER ALMOST SLIPPED OFF THE EDGE LOL BUT IF YOU GO TO THE GIFT SHOP THERES PORN MAGAZINES CALLED WET AND WILD NO JOKE) BUT COULDNT SAY ANYTHING.
“SHIDO, LETS CHECK THE BOTTOM” COLTEN SAID.
“ALRIGHT.” I SAID. “BUT HOW”
WE SPENT 2 HOURS CLIMBING DOWN THE DAMN THING. IT WAS BORING. FINALLY WE REACHED THE BOTTOM.
“THERE THEY ARE!” AN MT SOLDIER SHOUTED.
“OHAI GUISE” I SAID.
COLTEN TOOK OUT HIS GUN AND SHOT THEM ALL.
WE STOOD THERE IN THE QUIET ABYSS OF THE GRAND CANYON. A COOL BREEZE BLEW BY.
“THAT WAS TOO EASY.” I SAID.
“YEAH.” COLTEN SAID.
HE RELOADED AND QUICKLY POINTED AROUND IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
“WHERE ARE YOU SUNNY” I SAID.
“SUNNYS NOT HERE” A VOICE SAID FROM THE SKY.
IT DIDNT SOUND VERY FAMILIAR.
“WHO ARE YOU?” I SAID.
I LOOKED UP AT THE SKY. COLTEN HAD HIS GUARD UP.
“YOU SHOULD REMEMBER...” IT SAID.
“NO.” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT MY GUN AND LOADED IT.
I HEARD A GIANT BOOM TO THE LEFT, AND I TURNED TO SEE SOMEONE STANDING THERE. HE JUMPED DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE GRAND CANYON AND SURVIVED. AND WE HAD TO CLIMB. I FUCKING HATE THIS GUY WHOEVER HE IS.
HE TURNED TO US.
“MY NAME IS-”
THEN ME AND COLTEN STARTED SHOOTING HIM.
HE SHOOK AROUND FROM ALL THE BULLETS AND FELL ONTO THE GROUND.
A COOL BREEZE FLEW BY.
“GOD DAMMIT EVERYTIME A COOL BREEZE COMES BY I KNOW IT WAS TOO EASY” I SAID.
THE GUY GOT UP HASTILY.
“AHEM.” HE SAID. “MY NAME IS IRISH!”
“IRISH!” I SAID. “WE KILLED YOU!”
“EXACTLY.” IRISH SAID. “BUT I WAS MARKED BY SUNNY AND PLEDGED MY LIFE TO HIM.”
“SO?” I SAID.
“IF YOU'RE MORTAL AND YOU DO THAT, WHEN YOU DIE YOU ARE REBIRTHED AS A DEMON. WHEN YOU ARE KILLED AS A DEMON, THEN YOU ARE KILLED FOREVER.” IRISH SAID. “SO IM A DEMON NOW. THANKS.”
“THEN THAT EXPLAINS HOW MASTER SURVIVED CHEF...” I SAID. “HE MUST HAVE BEEN MORTAL AT THE TIME AND....”
“DUDE YOU KILLED A DEMON!” COLTEN SAID.
“HOLY FUCK!” I SAID. “MY FIRST ONE!”
“YEAH!” COLTEN SAID.
WE BOTH STARTED DANCING.
“UH” IRISH SAID. “GUYS IM GONNA KILL YOU...”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“GUYS!” IRISH SAID. “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“GOD DAMMIT IF YOU DONT PAY ATTENTION TO ME IM GONNA...IM GONNA RUIN THIS RIDDLE FOR YOU!” IRISH SAID.
“WAIT WHAT?” I SAID.
“THIS RIDDLE YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO GET! I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE ANSWER AND THEN THE RIDDLE WILL BE BORING TO YOU! HA HA!” IRISH SAID.
“....” ME AND COLTEN SAID.
WE KEPT DANCING ON PURPOSE.
“IM GIVING YOU TILL THE COUNT OF 5” IRISH SAID.
“CAN YOU MAKE IT 3 IM GETTING SICK OF DANCING” COLTEN SAID.
“5...” IRISH SAID.
WE KEPT DANCING.
“4....”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“8....”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“2....”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“APPLE...”
WE KEPT DANCING.
“ICARLY.COM....”
“GOD DAMMIT 1” COLTEN SAID.
“1!” IRISH SAID.
WE KEPT DANCING.
“OKAY, YOU ASKED FOR IT!” IRISH SAID. “THE ANSWER IS ANCIENT!”
“ANCIENT?” I SAID. “SO WE NOW HAVE HILLS, MYTH, MYSTERY, AND ANCIENT...”
HEY KIDS! YOU CAN TRY TO SOLVE WHERE THE GOLDEN ARROW IS HIDDEN AT HOME (ITS A REAL PLACE BTW)!
“HAHA BET YOU SORRY NOW!” IRISH SAID.
“SURE.” I SAID. “BTW I REALLY LOVE CLIMBING THE GRAND CANYON.”
“WELL IM GONNA TAKE YOU UP THE GRAND CANYON SO YOU CANT CLIMB IT! HA!” IRISH SAID.
“I ALSO LOVE CLIMBING IT.” COLTEN SAID.
“THEN SAME TO YOU!” IRISH SAID.
“I ALSO HATE HOLDING LOTS OF MONEY IN MY HAND.” I SAID.
“WELL TOO BAD FAGGOT” IRISH SAID. “HERE'S 5 BUCKS! HAHAHAHA!”
IRISH FLEW US BACK UP TO THE TOP OF THE GRAND CANYON.
“IRISH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!” RK SAID.
“OH FUCK.” COLTEN SAID.
“I LOVE IT WHEN RK IS STILL ALIVE.” I SAID.
“THEN HE MUST DIE!” IRISH SAID.
IRISH JUMPED AT RK BUT RK KICKED HIM AND IRISH SPLIT IN HALF.
“SO YOU BOTH THINK YOU'RE SO SMART?” RK SAID.
“RK..!” COLTEN SAID. “PLEASE DONT TRY TO KILL GOD! THIS IS MADNESS!”
“MADNESS?” RK SAID. “....THIS. IS. SWC!!!!!!”
RK SPARTAN KICKED COLTEN OFF THE GRAND CANYON.
“COLTEN!!!” I SAID.
RK GRABBED THE COLLAR OF MY SHIRT AND DRAGGED ME OFF.
“NNNNO!” I SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND STABBED HIM.
COLTEN CLIMBED BACK UP.
“I GRABBED THE EDGE WHEN HE KICKED ME” COLTEN SAID.
“HURRY” I SAID. “LETS GO”
WE RAN OFF. I SAW RK TRYING TO HOLD HIS BLOOD IN, BEHIND ME.
WE GOT INTO THE PLANE AND FLEW TO ANTARCTICA.

WE ARRIVED IN ANTARCTICA, AND LANDED THE PLANE THROUGH THE SNOWY GROUNDS.
“THINK THEY'RE HERE?” COLTEN SAID.
“PROBABLY.” I SAID. “ONLY PROBLEM IS WHERE.”
“ITS GONNA BE FREEZING OUT THERE.” COLTEN SAID. “WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WEAR?”
“OUR HONOR” I SAID.
I HOPPED OUT THE PLANE.
“HOOOLLLLY FUCK ITS COLD” I SAID. “STAY INSIDE STAY INSIDE THIS HONOR IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE”
“THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING AROUND HERE...” COLTEN SAID.
WE SEARCHED AROUND THE PLANE.
“NOTHING.” I SAID. “WELL THIS IS GREAT.”
“HOLD ON...” COLTEN SAID.
HE JUMPED OUT THE PLANE.
“COLTEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” I SAID.
“SHIDO ITS OKAY!” COLTEN SAID. “IM FAT, SO I STAY WARM!”
“WTF FAT PEOPLE KICKASS APPARENTLY” I SAID.
“I'LL GO FIND A JACKET FOR YOU OR SOMETHING” COLTEN SAID.
“BRING 2 MORE FOR JAMEZ AND NICK” I SAID.
“ALRIGHT” COLTEN SAID.
I STAYED IN THAT PLANE FOR AN HOUR. THERES NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO IN A PLANE. STILL, I GOT A MOMENT OF PEACE.
COLTEN CAME BACK WITH 3 JACKETS.
I PUT IT ON.
“THANKS” I SAID. “NOW, LET'S FIND IZZY AND EVERYONE”
WE MARCHED THROUGH THE SNOW TRYING TO FIND OUR TEAMMATES. AFTER 20 MINUTES WE GOT BORED AND STARTED PLAYING I-SPY.
“I-SPY...” COLTEN SAID. “SOMETHING...WHITE.”
“OH GEE COLTEN IS IT SNOW??” I SAID.
“NO, ITS THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE.” COLTEN SAID.
I LOOKED OVER AND SAW THE NHL STANDING IN A LINE.
“OH.” I SAID.
“WELL I SPY-” I SAID.
“NO YOU LOST, YOU CANT SPY SHIT.” COLTEN SAID. “I SPY SOMETHING WHITE.”
“SNOW.” I SAID.
“WRONG.” COLTEN SAID. “A SNOW FLAKE.”
“WTF SAME FUCKI-” I SAID.
“YOU SAID SNOW. THIS IS A SNOW FLAKE.” COLTEN SAID. “YOU LOSE.”
“...FINE.” I SAID.
“I SPY SOMETHING WHITE.” COLTEN SAID.
“A SNOW FLAKE.” I SAID.
“YES.” COLTEN SAID. “BUT WHICH ONE.”
“...ARE YOU FUCKING SERI-” I SAID.
“WHICH. ONE.” COLTEN SAID.
“THAT ONE.” I SAID.
I POINTED TO A FLOATING SNOW FLAKE.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT HOW'D YOU KNOW.” COLTEN SAID. “K YOUR TURN.”
“I SPY SOMETHING....” I SAID. “GAY AND RETARDED.”
“SHIDO, I ALREADY DID THE NHL.” COLTEN SAID.
“NO LOOK” I SAID.
I POINTED TO JAMEZ IN THE DISTANCE.
“JAMEZ!!” COLTEN SAID.
WE RAN THROUGH THE SNOW, WELL ACTUALLY YOU CANT REALLY RUN THROUGH SNOW, BUT WE WENT AS FAST AS WE COULD THROUGH SNOW TO JAMEZ.
“JAMEZ!” I SAID.
JAMEZ WAS STANDING THERE FROZEN.
“OFUCK” I SAID. “PUT THE JACKET ON HIM”
COLTEN PUT THE JACKET ON HIM. INSTANTLY, JAMEZ ON FROZE.
“HI SHIDO” JAMEZ SAID.
“JAMEZ, WHERES EVERYONE ELSE?” I SAID.
“NICKS HIDING IN IZZY'S FAT FOLD.” JAMEZ SAID.
“TAKE US” I SAID.
WE WENT AS FAST AS WE COULD THROUGH THE SNOW TO IZZY.
“HI SHIDO!” IZZY SAID.
“HFF FFIDO” I HEARD NICK MUFFLE THROUGH IZZYS FAT.
“SO HOWD SOUTH AMERICA GO?” I SAID.
“PERFECT!” IZZY SAID. “TURNS OUT, JAMEZ IS THEIR KING!”
“RLY?” I SAID.
“DUH. I WAS THE RICHEST MAN THERE” JAMEZ SAID.
“JAMEZ ALL YOU HAVE IS 2 CENTS A BUS PASS” I SAID.
“EXACTLY.” JAMEZ SAID. “BASICALLY, THEY HANDED THE PILLAR OVER TO ME AND SOLVED THE RIDDLE FOR US. WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR 19 HOURS. SO HOW WAS IT FOR YOU GUYS, THAT EASY TOO?”
“FUCK YOU JAMEZ.” I SAID. “WE KILLED MASTER FOR GOOD. AND MUSIC MIGHT BE A DEMON NOW.”
“WELL FUCK AS IF WE NEED MORE OF THOSE.” JAMEZ SAID.
“SO WHAT WAS THE RIDDLE?” I SAID.
“OH THE RIDDLE WAS 'WHAT IS N_GAMER AS STRAIGHT AS'” JAMEZ SAID. “THE ANSWER WAS, CIRCLE.”
“HILLS, MYTH, MYSTERY, ANCIENT, CIRCLE....” I SAID. “I STILL CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING...”
“THEN I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO FIND THIS RIDDLE, AND HOPE WE CAN SOLVE THE HIDING PLACE.” IZZY SAID. “OTHERWISE WERE HEADING INTO....ASIA.”
ASIA WAS THE MOST HEAVILY GUARDED CONTINENT NOW. IT WAS SWC'S HOME BASE.
“ALRIGHT GUYS.” I SAID. “LETS TRY TO FIND THIS THING.”
THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY BROKE APART AND A GIANT LIGHT SHINED DOWN IN FRONT OF US.
“WHAFF GOINF ON” NICK SAID.
“NICK. TAKE THIS DAMN JACKET.” I SAID.
SLOWLY AN ANGEL I HAD SEEN ONCE BEFORE FLOATED DOWN.
“SHADOWDRAGON!” I SAID.
“HELLO SHIDO.” SHADOW SAID.
“WHOS THIS?” NICK SAID.
“THIS IS SHADOWDRAGON.” JAMEZ SAID. “HE'S LIKE OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL OR SOMETHING.”
“YUP” SHADOW SAID. “AND IVE COME TO PROVIDE ASSISTANCE.”
“WHY” I SAID. “CHEF SAID GOD WOULDNT BE HELPING US ANYMORE.”
“I THINK HE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART WHEN HE SAW YOUR PROGRESS.” SHADOW SAID. “IM JUST HERE, BECAUSE I THINK YOU GUYS COULD USE SOME PROTECTION.”
“WHY.” JAMEZ SAID.
“YEAH SHADOW WHATS HAPPENING.” I SAID.
“SIGH” SHADOW SAID. “IM NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU GUYS. RK'S GUARDING THIS PILLAR HIMSELF.”
“AND YOU'RE GOING TO STOP HIM?” JAMEZ SAID.
“YES.” SHADOW SAID. “IT IS MY DESTINY TO FINISH RK OFF.”
“SO RKS GOING TO DIE TODAY?” I SAID.
“YES.” SHADOW SAID. “AND ONCE RK IS DEAD, SUNNYS EMPIRE WILL FALL AND THAT GIVES YOU A CHANCE TO KILL HIM SHIDO.”
“NICE.” I SAID.
SHADOW LEAD US TO THE PILLAR. WITH RK GONE, THINGS WOULD BE MUCH EASIER. RK WAS SUNNYS RIGHT HAND MAN, AND THE ONLY ONE HE COULD REALLY COUNT ON. WITHOUT HIM, SUNNY'S PLANS WOULD FAIL.
FINALLY, WE REACHED THE PILLAR. RK WAS SITTING ON IT.
“OHAI GUISE” RK SAID.
HE SLID OFF THE PILLAR AND WALKED UP TO US.
“WHATS THIS FAGGOT DOING HERE.” HE SAID.
HE POINTED TO RK.
“YOU KNOW WHY IM HERE RK” SHADOW SAID.
“LO1L1OL1L” RK SAID. “YA INO. BUT DESTINY IS SHIT. IM GONNA KILL YOU SHADOW.”
“NO RK.” SHADOW SAID. “YOU'RE NOT.”
“AND SHIDO...” RK SAID. “AFTER WEVE USED YOU, IM GOING TO TORTURE YOU IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.”
HE WAS SERIOUS.
“YOU STRUCK ME ONE TOO MANY TIMES, KID.” RK SAID.
HE TURNED BACK TO SHADOW. RK TOOK OUT A KNIFE.
“NO ONE GET IN THE WAY OF THIS FIGHT” SHADOW SAID. “SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND NOTHING ELSE.”
“LO1LO1L” RK SAID. “YEAH ITS DESTINY GUISE”
WHERE RK STOOD, THE SNOW MELTED. SHADOW STOOD UP STRAIGHT AND LOOKED AT RK. RK SHOT HIMSELF AT SHADOW BUT SHADOW BLOCKED HIMSELF. RK SLID PAST SHADOW AND JUMPED BACK UP TRYING TO PUNCH HIM.
“CMON GUYS!!” I SAID. “THE RIDDLE!”
WE ALL RAN TO THE PILLAR. COLTEN TOOK OUT HIS GUN TO PREPARE FOR IF RK TRIED TO ATTACK US. I ACTIVATED THE PILLAR THROUGH THE SOUNDS OF THE FIGHT BEHIND US.
“CMON...CMON....” I SAID.
AT LAST THE PILLAR SPOKE.
“HOW HARD ARE PAM ANDERSONS BOOBS” IT SAID.
“FINALLY SOMETHING I KNOW” JAMEZ SAID. “GUYS, THINK OF THINGS THAT ARE HARD. LIKE REALLY REALLY HARD.”
“SILVER SURFER FOR NES.” IZZY SAID.
“NO...NO...” I SAID.
“GETTING A GIRLFRIEND” JAMEZ SAID. “GOING OUTSIDE? GETTING LAID? KEEPING AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP. BEING COOL”
“GOD DAMMIT NO YOU FUCKING RETARD” I SAID. “IT MEANS THINGS THAT ARE LITERALLY HARD. AND BESIDES...NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE HARD”
“MAYBE FOR YOU SHIDO, SINCE YOU'RE COOLER THAN THE FONZ” JAMEZ SAID.
“WHOS THAT” I SAID.
“IDK” JAMEZ SAID.
RK RAN UP TO SHADOW AND SHADOW KICKED HIM BACK. SHADOW JUMPED ON HIM AND STARTED BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF HIM.
“LOOK AT THIS.” I SAID. “ONE OF OUR MOST POWERFUL ENEMIES. DYING.”
“WERE ON THE RIGHT TEAM” JAMEZ SAID.
“STONE!” IZZY SAID. “IS IT STONE?”
THE PILLAR LIT UP.
“ITS STONE!” I SAID.
RK FLEW AT SHADOW, AND SHADOW KICKED HIM IN THE STOMACH. BUT INSTEAD OF FLYING BACK OR ANYTHING, RK STAYED THERE HANGING ON TO SHADOWS LEG. THE HE FLIPPED SHADOW OVER AND STABBED HIM IN THE HEART.
“SHADOW!!” I SAID.
RK LOOKED AT US AND HOPPED OVER TO NICK.
“HEY, BACK THE FUCK OFF FAGGOT” NICK SAID.
I RAN OVER TO SHADOW.
“SHADOW, WHATS HAPPENING!!” I SAID.
“I...DONT KNOW” SHADOW SAID.
“I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR DESTINY TO KILL HIM!!” I SAID.
“IT....WAS...” SHADOW SAID.
AND THEN SHADOW DIED. THE SECOND ANGEL I WATCHED DIE FROM A SWC.
“YOU THINK IM SCARED OF YOU?” RK SAID.
“YOU SHOULD BE” NICK SAID.
RK STABBED NICK TWICE IN THE GUT.
“...ACK...” NICK SAID.
HE HUNCHED OVER HOLDING HIS STOMACH.
“NICK!” IZZY SAID.
COLTEN SHOT AT RK BUT MISSED.
“DAMMIT COLTEN WORK ON YOUR SHOT!” I SAID.
“YOU'RE NEXT” RK SAID POINTING AT COLTEN.
RK TWIRLED HIS KNIFE AND THEN LEAPED AT COLTEN. I TACKLED RK THOUGH BEFORE HE COULD GET HIM.
“GET.....OFF!” RK SAID.
HE BLASTED ME OFF OF HIM AND I SHOT OUT INTO THE AIR. I LANDED SAFELY IN THE SNOW.
“GUYS LETS GO!” I SAID.
WE STARTED RUNNING.
“BUT NICK!” IZZY SAID.
“I'LL GET HIM JUST KEEP GOING!” I SAID.
I TURNED AROUND AND WAS PASSED BY MY OTHER TEAMMATES. THEN RK GRABBED ME AS HE WAS RUNNING BY.
“SO I DIDNT KILL YOUR FRIENDS...” HE SAID. “ATLEAST I HAVE YOU.”
“NICK!!” I SHOUTED BACK.
NICK WAS ROLLING AROUND IN THE SNOW BLEEDING.
RK RAN AT SUPER SPEED. WE PAST BY IZZY, JAMEZ, AND COLTEN. WE REACHED THE OCEAN, AND RK JUMPED, AND THEN WE VANISHED.
WE APPEARD BEFORE SUNNY ON A THRONE. RK THREW ME ON THE GROUND AND I TUMBLED ON THE GROUND.
“FINALLY!” SUNNY SAID. “FINALLY SOMEONE GETS SOMETHING RIGHT!”
MUSIC AND HYPER STOOD AT THE END OF THE ROOM BEHIND RK, AND ZIRO STOOD NEXT TO SUNNY LIKE A ROYAL GUARD.
“HYPER, MUSIC.” SUNNY SAID. “TAKE NOTES. NOT ONLY DID RK AMAZINGLY FUCK UP DESTINY, BUT HE CAPTURED THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. THE QUEEN OF THIS WHOLE CHESS. WE FINALLY HAVE THE CHOSEN ANGEL.”
I PUSHED MYSELF UP.
“SUNNY...” I SAID. “YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS...I KNOW YOUR STORY...I KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS THAT GOD DITCHED YOU.”
“LOL” SUNNY SAID. “THATS WHAT YOU THINK?”
“WELL....YEAH...” I SAID.
“NO. I WAS JUST MAD THAT THE ASSHOLE WAS RUNNING A CIVILIZATION AND I WASNT IN CHARGE.” SUNNY SAID. “SO, I TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF IN CHARGE. IT TOOK A LITTLE FORCE, BUT WHEN I FINALLY GET IN CHARGE WHAT DOES HE DO? SEAL ME IN HELL. BUT THANKS TO BRADLEY I CAN FINALLY GET A CHANCE TO TAKE BACK WHATS MINE!”
“OH MY GOD....” I SAID. “YOU...YOU'RE NOT JEALOUS....YOU'RE JUST PURE EVIL...”
“IM EVIL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE?” SUNNY SAID.
“YOUR IDEA OF LEADERSHIP IS CHAOTIC AND TWISTED” I SAID.
“AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW” SUNNY SAID. “BECAUSE CHEF TOLD YOU? SHIDO, HAVE YOU EVER EXACTLY THOUGHT WHO DECIDED WHAT WAS EVIL AND WHAT WASNT?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” I SAID.
“GOD THINKS IF YOU GO AGAINST HIM YOU'RE EVIL.” SUNNY SAID. “HE THINKS IF YOU RUIN HIS WORK YOU'RE EVIL. BUUUUT, IF YOU SEND SOME STUPID MOTHERFUCKING GOOK KID TO GO KILL THE OTHER GUYS MEN, ITS FINE!”
“WATCH IT WITH THE GOOK STUFF” RK SAID.
“SHIDO.” SUNNY SAID. “GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. GOD IS NO BETTER THAN ME, AND YOU....YOU ARE JUST HIS RK, SHIDO. YOU DO HIS WORK FOR HIM. YOU MURDER. AND WHY IS THIS MURDER OKAY? BECAUSE THEY'RE EVIL OF COURSE! AND “EVIL” IS A TERM COINED BY GOD. A TERM GIVEN TO THOSE HE DOESNT LIKE.”
“THERES A DIFFERENCE FROM MURDERING AND SAVING BILLIONS OF LIVES FROM TORTURE AND AN EVIL DICTATOR” I SAID.
“THERE IT IS AGAIN.” SUNNY SAID. “EVIL.”
“SUNNY...” I SAID. “YOU'RE SO EVIL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW EVIL YOU REALLY ARE.”
“YOU KNOW WHATS REALLY “EVIL”, SHIDO?” SUNNY SAID. “TRAPPING ME IN A SHITHOLE FOREVER BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE WITH MY IDEAS OF LEADERSHIP!!”
“YOU'RE A BLOOD THIRSTY DEMON AND YOU KNOW IT!” I SAID. “STOP TRYING TO FOOL ME INTO THINKING GOD IS EVIL!”
“THIS ONES TOO SMART.” SUNNY SAID. “JUST LOCK HIM UP IN A CELL. WE'LL USE HIM TOMORROW.”
“WHY NOT USE ME TODAY?” I SAID.
“WE REALLY DONT HAVE A RUSH FOR THE GOLDEN ARROWS ANYMORE.” SUNNY SAID. “I HAVE BETTER THINGS PLANNED.”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” I SAID.
“WELL, SINCE YOU'LL DIE ANYWAY...” SUNNY SAID. “LOLJK IM NOT ONE OF THOSE STUPID VILLAINS THAT JUST BLURTS OUT THEIR ENTIRE PLAN SO THAT THE HERO CAN ESCAPE AND FOIL IT.”
“FUCK YOU” I SAID.
RK DRAGGED ME OFF TO A CELL.
“AM I IN HELL?” I SAID.
“NO, BUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE.” RK SAID. “YOU'RE AT SWC HOMEBASE.”
RK THREW ME INTO A CELL.
I SAT THERE, DEFEATED. THAT WAS ALL THERE WAS TO IT. RK AND RUINED DESTINY, AND I WAS LOCKED UP. GOD WAS DOOMED AND I WAS A FALSE PROPHET.
SUDDENLY I REMEMBERED. THE SWORD!
SUNNY SAID THE GOLDEN WEAPONS WERENT IMPORTANT ANYMORE, SO HE MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT.
I TOOK IT OUT OF MY POCKET. IT COULD SLICE THROUGH THESE WALLS EASY.
BUT IF I DID THAT, ID BE CAUGHT FAST. I WAS SURE THERE WERE GUARDS EVERYWHERE. I SLID IT BACK INTO MY POCKET.
THEN I HEARD IT.
“COME IN...COME IN...” I HEARD FROM MY POCKET.
THE WALKIE TALKIE!
“..HELLO?” I SAID.
“SHIDO...” SNAKEPIT SAID.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I SAID.
“LOOK, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, BUT I REALLY DIDNT WANT TO DO IT. IT WAS WOLFIES PLAN. I REALLY MEANT WHAT I SAID WHEN WE MET. I REALLY DO WANT TO HELP YOU GUYS.” SNAKEPIT SAID.
“SO WHAT HAPPENED TO WOLFIE?” I SAID.
“I KILLED HIM FOR YOU.” SNAKEPIT SAID. “NOW WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?”
“LOCATE OUR TEAMMATES AND TELL THEM IM PRISNOR AT SWC BASE!” I SAID.
“SWC BASE? HOLY FUCK WHAT A COINCIDENCE IM HERE RIGHT NOW!” SNAKEPIT SAID.
SNAKEPIT TURNED AROUND.
“OH HI SHIDO LOL.” SNAKEPIT SAID.
“OH HI.” I SAID. “DISTRACT THE GUARDS WHILE I GET FREE.”
“WILL DO” SNAKEPIT SAID. “ALSO, THE FINAL RIDDLE PILLAR IS IN SUNNYS OFFICE. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.”
“KICK. ASS.” I SAID.

"HOW DO I DISTRACT THESE GUARDS" SNAKEPIT SAID.
"IM NOT SURE" I SAID. "FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN"
"HMMMM" SNAKEPIT SAID.
SNAKEPIT UNLOCKED MY DOOR.
"GET READY TO RUN SHIDO" SNAKEPIT SAID.
I STOOD UP AND GOT THE GOLDEN SWORD OUT OF MY POCKET.
"NOOB!" SNAKEPIT SAID.
"?" I SAID.
"NOOB?" I HEARD SOMEONE DOWN THE HALL SAY.
"NOOB, ON THE FIRST FLOOR!" SNAKEPIT SAID. "HE'S EXTREMELY AGAINST ABORTION AND ITS HIS FIRST TIME ON THE INTERNET"
"HOLY FUCK" EVERYONE IN SWC SAID.
EVERYONE STARTED RUSHING DOWN TO THE FIRST FLOOR.
SNAKEPIT LOOKED BACK AT ME.
"GO" HE SAID.
I BURSTED OUT MY DOOR AND STARTED RUNNING DOWN THE HALL. I CLIMBED UP THE STEPS HOPING TO REACH SUNNYS OFFICE WITHOUT BEING NOTICED.
I FINALLY REACHED SUNNYS OFFICE BUT I HESITATED TO GO IN. I LOOKED INSIDE CAREFULLY. RK WAS AT SUNNYS DESK SITTING THERE. NEXT TO HIM, WAS THE PILLAR LEANING ON A WALL.
"WTF IS RK DOING THERE..." I SAID TO MYSELF.
RK CRUMPLED UP A PAPER AND TRIED TO MAKE A SHOT IN THE TRASHCAN.
HE MADE IT.
"OFUCK" I SAID. "HE MADE IT."
RK GOT UP WITH A BORED EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE. HE STARTED WALKING OUT THE ROOM.
"FUCKFUCKFUCK" I SAID.
I TRIED TO LOOK FOR A HIDING SPOT BUT IT WAS JUST AN EMPTY HALLWAY. IN PANIC, I JUST RAN DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN.
BUT NOW RK WAS HEADING DOWN THE STAIRS TOO.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT" I SAID.
I RAN DOWN THE HALLWAY AND WENT DOWN THE NEXT SET OF STAIRS. I PRESSED MY BACK BEHIND THE WALL TO WAIT FOR RK. I HAD A PLAN. I'D PUSH HIM INTO THE WALL AND THEN STAB HIM THE MINUTE HE CAME DOWN THOSE STEPS.
I HEARD RKS FOOTSTEPS DOWN THE HALL BUT THEN IT STOPPED.
I PEERED OVER THE WALL, AND SAW RK JUST STARING AT ANOTHER WALL.
"WTF.." I SAID QUIETLY.
RK PUT HIS HAND ON THE WALL, AND IT TURNED INTO A LIQUIDY KIND OF SURFACE. RK SLID IN, AND THE WALL BECAME SOLID AGAIN.
I STOOD THERE WITH A PUZZELED LOOK ON MY FACE. I TURNED AROUND TO SEE IF SOMEONE WAS AROUND. WHEN I SAW NO ONE WAS, I WENT UP THE STAIRS AGAIN.
I WALKED RIGHT INTO SUNNYS OFFICE. THE PILLAR WAS STILL THERE.
"ALRIGHT" I SAID. "WHATS THE RIDDLE?"
I PUT MY HAND ON THE PILLAR.
"WHERE ALL THE GAY PEOPLE COME FROM" THE PILLAR SAID.
"FRANCE." I SAID.
THE PILLAR DIDNT DO ANYTHING.
"DAMN." I SAID.
SUDDENLY A SCREECHING ALARM WENT OFF AND THE WHOLE PLACE TURNED DARK RED.
"OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING" I SAID.
A VOICE CAME OVER THE INTERCOM.
"ATTENTION ALL SWC MEMBERS" IT SAID. "SHIDO HAS ESCAPED. I WILL REPEAT: SHIDO HAS ESCAPED. WE ARE NOW ENTERING FULL LOCKDOWN."
THE DOORWAY IN SUNNYS OFFICE SHUT WITH A LARGE METAL DOOR. BARS SLID OVER THE TWO WINDOWS.
"OOOOOH NO" I SAID.
"WE ARE NOW INITIATING A SCAN TO FIND SHIDO. PLEASE BE PATIENT." THE VOICE SAID.
"SHIT" I SAID.
I TURNED BACK TO THE PILLAR.
"IS IT CALIFORNIA?" I SAID.
NOTHING.
"UHHHHH" I SAID. "DAMMIT WHERE DO GAY PEOPLE COME FROM..."
THEN THE ROOM FLASHED BLUE. IT WENT BACK TO RED IN AN INSTANT.
"SHIDO HAD BEEN FOUND. I WILL REPEAT: SHIDO HAS BEEN FOUND." THE VOICE SAID. "IF THE HEAD MEMBERS OF SWC COULD PLEASE LOCATE THEMSELVES TO SUNNYCIDE'S OFFICE."
"AHHHHHHH" I SAID. "FUCKFUCKFUCK. WHAT IS IT??"
"THINK BIGGER." THE PILLAR SAID.
"YOU GAVE ME A HINT?" I SAID. "NO PILLARS DONE THAT BEFORE."
"IM A NICE GUY." THE PILLAR SAID.
"BIGGER HUH?" I SAID. SO IF NOT FRANCE...EUROPE!"
THE PILLAR LIT UP WHITE. I HAD EVERY SINGLE HINT AS TO WHERE THE GOLDEN ARROWS WERE.
HILLS, MYTH, MYSTERY, ANCIENT, CIRCLE, AND EUROPE?
JUST AS I TRIED TO THINK OF SOMETHING WITH ALL OF THOSE THINGS, THE RED LIGHT VANISHED, THE BARS SLID BACK UP, AND THE DOOR FLEW OPEN.

THE DOOR FLEW OPEN.
I FLINCHED BECAUSE I KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
"SHIDO HURRY LETS GO" SNAKEPIT SAID.
HE GRABBED MY ARM AND PULLED ME OUT OF THE ROOM.
"WE GOT ABOUT 20 SECONDS BEFORE THEY GET UP HERE" SNAKE SAID.
WE RAN DOWN TO THE END OF THE HALL. IT WAS A DEAD END.
"SNAKE, WERE TRAPPED" I SAID.
"NO WERE NOT" SNAKE SAID.
HE SLAMMED INTO THE WALL AND HE SMASHED THROUGH IT. HE FELL DOWN ONTO A TREETOP.
"SHIDO, HURRY!" SNAKE SAID.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SHIDO" RK SAID.
I TURNED AROUND AND RK WAS STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HALL POINTING SOME VERY SHINY SILVER GUN AT ME.
"A GUN, RK?" I SAID.
"THIS ISN'T JUST ANY GUN SHIDO" RK SAID.
"YEAH WHATEVER ASSHOLE" I SAID.
I FLIPPED HIM OFF AND JUMPED OUT THE BUILDING.
I LANDED ON THE TREETOP WITH SNAKE.
"HURRY" SNAKE SAID.
HE JUMPED OFF THE TREE.
I FELT LIKE I WAS IN SOME SORT OF VIDEOGAME.
RK JUMPED DOWN ONTO THE TREETOP AND GRABBED ME. I PUSHED HIM OFF OF ME.
I JUMPED OFF THE TREETOP WITH SNAKE.
WE RAN THROUGH THE TREES. THERE WERE LEAVES ALL ON THE GROUND SO IT ALWAYS MADE A CRUNCHING NOISE WHEN WE STEPPED.
I STOPPED.
"SNAKE HOLD ON." I SAID.
I COULD HEAR RK'S FOOTSTEPS.
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH,CRUNCH.
IT WAS COMING FROM IN FRONT OF US. TO THE LEFT.
RK COULDNT USE HIS STEALTHY NINJA POWERS HERE.
"SNAKE STEP BACK" I SAID.
SNAKE STEPPED BACK.
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH.
THE NOISE WAS GETTING LOUDER, SO RK MUST HAVE BEEN GETTING CLOSER.
I TOOK OUT THE GOLDEN SWORD AND LISTENED.
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH.
THEN I SLASHED THE SWORD.
"AH!" RK SAID. "HOW'D YOU SEE ME? I WAS GOING TO FAST!"
"SHIDO, LOOK OUT HE'S GOT THE GUN" SNAKE SAID.
SNAKE TACKLED RK.
"WHAT GUN?" I SAID.
I WONDERED WHY THE GUN WAS SO IMPORTANT AND WHY I WAS JUST SEEING IT NOW.
PROBABLY BECAUSE THIS WRITER SUCKS ASS.
RK KICKED SNAKE OFF OF HIM AND SHOT THE GUN. THE GUN LET OUT A GIANT BOOM NOISE, LIKE A GRENADE EXPLODING OR SOMETHING. RKS ARM ALSO FLEW BACK FROM THE SHOT.
THE SHOT MISSED SNAKE THOUGH AND HE TRIED PUNCHING RK. RK GRABBED SNAKES ARM AND SNAPPED IT.
I RAN UP TO RK AND STABBED HIM.
RK GRABBED MY HEAD AND SMASHED IT INTO A ROCK.
"SHIDO" SNAKE SAID. "RUN"
I TOOK THE SWORD AND STARTED RUNNING. I HEARD SNAKES SCREAMS FROM BEHIND ME. I HID BEHIND A LARGE ROCK FOR A SHIELD AGAINST THE GUN. I SAT THERE AND SIGHED. THEN I HEARD THE NOISE FROM THE GUN SHOT.
THE BULLET SMASHED THOUGH THE ROCK RIGHT NEXT TO ME. IT LEFT A STRAIGHT HOLE RIGHT THROUGH THE ROCK.
WTF WAS THIS GUN.
I STARTED RUNNING AGAIN SINCE THIS BULLET WAS APPARENTLY GOD. I KEPT RUNNING UNTIL I REACHED A TALL CHAIN-LINKED FENCE.
"FUCK THIS SHIT" I SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND SLICED A DOOR WAY THROUGH THE FENCE. I KEPT RUNNING AND RUNNING AND RUNNING.
I RAN ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHERE NR USED TO BE.
IT WAS A WASTELAND NOW.
I SAT DOWN AND RESTED.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND RAN MY FINGER ALONG THE BLADE.
A LIGHT SHINED DOWN FROM THE SKY.
I GOT UP AND STARED AT THE SKY WAITING FOR ANOTHER ANGEL.
THEN I STARTED FLOATING UP WITH THE LIGHT.
"AHH WTF IS HAPPENING??" I SAID.
I FLOATED UP ALL THE WAY TO THE CLOUDS.
I STOPPED FLOATING AFTER I REACHED THE TOP OF THE CLOUDS. IT WAS A WHOLE WORLD UP HERE.
THERE WERE PEOPLE AND BUILDINGS AND NORMAL THINGS YOUD SEE IN A CITY.
EXCEPT LIKE RAPE AND FAT MIDDLE AGED MEXICANS OFFERING YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND CRACK. NO SRSLY THAT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE.
ANYWAYS. I DID NOTICE THAT ALL THE BUILDINGS WERE GOLDEN. AND ALL THE PEOPLE SEEMED BUSY.
"SHIDO!" I HEARD SOMEONE SAY.
I TURNED AROUND.
IT WAS CHEF!
"CHEF!!" I SAID.
CHEF WALKED OVER TO ME.
"SHIDO, YOU'VE BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB!" CHEF SAID.
"YOUVE BEEN WATCHING ME?" I SAID.
"OF COURSE!" CHEF SAID. "UM BTW TELL JAMEZ ITS UNHEALTHY TO MASTURBATE MORE THAN TWICE A DAY..."
"CHEF, WHATS HAPPENING?" I SAID. "WHY AM I HERE?"
"IM NOT SURE." CHEF SAID. "GOD WANTED TO SEE YOU."
"GOD?? IM GONNA MEET GOD??" I SAID.
"YUP." CHEF SAID.
"OH DAMMIT I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN I HAVENT TAKEN A SHOWER IN DAYS" I SAID.
"SHIDO ITS GOING TO BE FINE." CHEF SAID. "YOU'RE A HERO HERE."
"ME? A HERO?" I SAID.
"OF COURSE" CHEF SAID.
"HI SHIDO" AJ SAID.
"AJ!" I SAID. "HEY WHERES NINTENDOGIRL?"
"OH YEAH" AJ SAID. "WE KEEP HER HEAD ON A PIKE FOR A DAILY HEAD RAPE IN HONOR OF JAMEZ."
"COOL. I'LL HAVE TO VISIT THAT LATER." I SAID.
"CMON SHIDO, YOULL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO TALK TO AJ SOON" CHEF SAID. "LETS GO TALK TO GOD."
WALKING IN HEAVEN WAS WEIRD. IT WAS LIKE THE GROUND WAS TOO SOFT OR SOMETHING. LIKE YOUR CONSTANTLY WALKING ON ONE OF THOSE TEMPURPEDIC MATTRESSES ALL THE TIME. WE WALKED PRETTY FAR.
"DONT THEY HAVE CARS IN HEAVEN" I SAID.
"ACTUALLY CARS WERE OUTLAWED BECAUSE PEOPLE KEPT DRIVING OFF THE CLOUD." CHEF SAID. "IT DIDNT HURT US, IT HURT THE PEOPLE BELOW US. ONE GUY WAS GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET, ACCIDENTLY FELL OFF, AND SMASHED INTO AMELIA EARHART."
"I KNEW THATS WHAT HAPPENED!" I SAID.
THE CLOUD PATH GOT THINNER AND THINNER LIKE WE WERE REACHING THE EDGE OF A CLIFF.
FINALLY WE STOPPED.
"THERE HE IS" CHEF SAID.
"I DONT SEE HIM" I SAID.
"HES RIGHT THERE." CHEF SAID.
"I SRSLY DONT SEE HIM" I SAID.
CHEF POINTED AT THE GIANT FIRE BALL IN FRONT OF US.
"THATS GOD??" I SAID.
"YES SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "GOD IS THE SUN."
"WELL DAMN IVE SEEN HIM EVERY DAY THEN." SHIDO SAID. "OKAY, LETS GO HOME."
"NO SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "HE WANTS TO SEE YOU."
"OH RIGHT." I SAID. "UM...HI GOD...?"
"HE CANT TALK SHIDO." CHEF SAID.
"WELL FUCK THIS SHIT THEN" I SAID.
"NO SHIDO" CHEF SAID. "HE CANT TALK OUT LOUD. HE'LL TALK TO YOU TELEPATHICALLY."
"I HOPE I DONT ACCIDENTALLY THINK A GAY THOUGHT AND MAKE THIS WHOLE THING AWKWARD." I SAID.
I STOOD THERE WAITING FOR GODS MESSAGE.
"OHAI" GOD SAID.
"HI." I THOUGHT.
"YOU'RE DOING GOOD SO FAR, SHIDO." GOD SAID.
"HOW?" I THOUGHT.
"YOU'VE ALREADY SOLVED ALL THE PILLARS." GOD SAID. "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT FOR A WHILE."
"SO WHAT" I THOUGHT. "SWC IS STILL 20X STRONGER THAN ME."
"NO SHIDO, YOU JUST THINK THEY ARE." GOD SAID. "THEY ARE AFRAID OF YOU."
"YAOKAY GOD" I THOUGHT.
"NO REALLY." GOD SAID. "WHY DO YOU THINK THEY FOLLOW YOU AROUND ALL THE TIME?"
"BECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING TO SOLVE THE PILLARS TO." I THOUGHT.
"NO THEY GAVE UP ON THE PILLARS." GOD SAID. "THEY'RE FOLLOWING YOU BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED YOU'LL FIGURE THEM OUT."
"GOD." I THOUGHT. "WHY DID THEY GIVE UP ON THE PILLARS?"
"THEY DON'T WANT THE GOLDEN WEAPONS ANYMORE." GOD SAID.
"BUT WHY?" I THOUGHT.
"WELL..." GOD SAID. " I CAN'T TELL YOU."
"WHY NOT?" I THOUGHT.
"IT WILL DISCOURAGE YOU." GOD SAID.
"THE GOLDEN WEAPONS THING IS A LIE ISN'T IT" I THOUGHT.
"NO...NO IT'S NOT THAT." GOD SAID.
"WAIT..." I THOUGHT. "THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT GUN I SAW TODAY, DOESN'T IT?"
"YES, SHIDO, IT DOES." GOD SAID.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" I THOUGHT.
GOD SIGHED.
"I GUESS THERE IS NO POINT IN TRYING TO HIDE IT." GOD SAID. "EVER SINCE YOU MET BRADLEY, SHIDO.....SUNNYCIDE HAD BEEN TRYING TO CREATE HIS OWN GOLDEN WEAPONS."
"R U SRS" I THOUGHT.
"YES" GOD SAID. "HE HAS MADE THEM ALL. SOME ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN CERTAIN GOLDEN WEAPONS AND SOME GOLDEN WEAPONS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN HIS. IT'S BASICALLY A GAME OF ROCK PAPER SCISSORS."
"SO WHAT ARE THESE WEAPONS?" I THOUGHT.
"I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW, BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE INTO HELL." GOD SAID. "ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEY'VE BEEN NAMED THE SILVER WEAPONS. I KNOW HE'S MADE THEM TO COUNTER THE GOLDEN WEAPONS. HE HAS A CLOSE COMBAT WEAPON LIKE THE SWORD, A SHIELD, ARMOR, AND A LONG-RANGED WEAPON LIKE THE ARROWS, WHICH YOU SAW TODAY..."
"SO WHY AM I HERE GOD?" I THOUGHT.
"I WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING." GOD SAID. "SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT."
"A MASTER WEAPON?" I THOUGHT.
"NO. BUT IT WILL BE AS USEFUL AS ONE." GOD SAID.
AN ORB FLOATED OUT OF GOD. IT FLOATED INTO MY HANDS AND TOOK THE SHAPE OF....A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE.
"DUCT TAPE?" I THOUGHT. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
"IT WILL BE VERY USEFUL SHIDO." GOD SAID. "YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET."
"SO AM I GOING BACK TO EARTH?" I THOUGHT.
"YES." GOD SAID. "YOU NEED TO FIND THE GOLDEN ARROWS."
"THEN...CAN YOU SEND ME DOWN TO MY FRIENDS?" I THOUGHT.
"OF COURSE." GOD SAID. "GOODBYE SHIDO."
"GOODBY-TWO GUYS DOING IT" I THOUGHT.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" I SAID.
I WOKE UP AND SAW JAMEZ, IZZY, COLTEN, AND NICK STARING DOWN AT ME.
"SHIDO!" JAMEZ SAID. "WE FOUND YOU! ...SLEEPING."
"KIND OF IRONIC." IZZY SAYS. "THE MEXICAN FINDS THE ASIAN SLEEPING ON THE JOB. THAT COULD BE A PUN OR SOMETHING."
"GUYS" I SAID. "I MET GOD"
"BULL." JAMEZ SAID.
"YEAH SHIDO...YOU WERE JUST DREAMING." IZZY SAID.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS??" I SAID.
"YEAH." IZZY SAID. "NOW LET'S GO."
MY FRIENDS STARTED WALKING AHEAD OF ME. WE WERE WHERE NR USED TO BE. MAYBE I DID FALL ASLEEP HERE WHILE I WAS RESTING.
I GOT UP AND SOMETHING FELL OUT OF MY POCKET.
I PICKED IT UP.
DUCT TAPE.
I LOOKED UP AT THE SKY.
I KNEW THEY WERE ALL WATCHING ME.

“SO SHIDO” COLTEN SAID. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THESE ARROWS COULD BE?”
“I HAVE AN IDEA BUT IT'S KIND OF A GUESS.” I SAID.
“WHAT IS IT?” JAMEZ SAID.
“WELL...” I SAID.
“SNIPERS!” NICK SAID.
A SHOT RANG OUT AND A BULLET FLEW INTO IZZY'S SHOULDER.
“AH FUCK!” IZZY SAID. “SOMEONE HELP ME!”
“NOT THIS TIME, IZZY” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ KICKED IZZY IN THE RIBS.
“JAMEZ, WHAT THE HELL??” I SAID.
JAMEZ PULLED OUT A GUN AND SHOT ME.
“AH!” I SAID.
I FELL OVER HUNCHED DOWN ON THE GROUND.
“SHIDO!” NICK SAID.
JAMEZ RAN OVER WITH THE SNIPERS.
“I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD THESE SNIPERS OF OUR LOCATION” JAMEZ SAID.
“JAMEZ....WTF??!!” NICK SAID.
“NICK....WHERES COLTEN?” I SAID.
NICK LOOKED AROUND. JAMEZ DIDN'T NOTICE.
“WELL GUYS, IT'S LIKE THIS.” JAMEZ SAID. “WHEN WE WERE IN SOUTH AMERICA, SUNNY WAS THERE. HE TALKED TO ME FOR A BIT BEFORE I REGROUPED WITH YOU GUYS.”
“SO YOUR A SPY?” NICK SAID.
“NOT EXACTLY A SPY, NICK.” JAMEZ SAID. “MORE LIKE A TRAITOR. SEE, SUNNY SHED A WHOLE NEW LIGHT ON THINGS FOR ME. WHO SAYS SUNNY'S THE BAD GUY REALLY? I MEAN, GOD MAKES ALL THE RULES. GOD DECIDES WHATS GOOD. IF GOD WANTS SOMEONE OUT OF THE PICTURE CAN'T HE JUST DEFINE THEM AS A “BAD GUY”?”
“JAMEZ, SUNNYS BULLSHITTING YOU” I SAID. “HE BRAINWASHED YOU.”
“WELL IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE IM ON THE REAL SIDE THIS TIME.” JAMEZ SAID. “IT WAS GREAT HAVING YOU GUYS AS FRIENDS AND ALL BUT...YOU'RE ON THE VILLAIN'S SIDE. I WANT TO BE A HERO.”
JAMEZ TURNED HIS BACK TO US.
“OH YEAH...” HE SAID. “THANKS FOR THE PLANE. IT'LL BE MY EASY TICKET BACK TO SWC'S BASE.”
JAMEZ STARTED WALKING AWAY.
“FINISH THEM.” JAMEZ SAID.
THE SNIPERS AIMED THEIR GUNS AT US AGAIN.
NICK DRAGGED US BEHIND A ROCK. THE SNIPERS FIRED BUT MISSED.
“SHIDO, WHAT DO WE DO?” NICK SAID.
“I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. IZZY'S OUT. COLTEN'S MISSING...” I SAID. “IT'S UP TO YOU.”
“ME?” NICK SAID. “I HAVENT KILLED ANYONE THROUGH THIS WHOLE ADVENTURE! I....I...”
“NICK” I SAID. “I BELIEVE IN YOU.”
“WELL...WELL OKAY SHIDO” NICK SAID.
“NICK, TAKE THE GOLDEN ARMOR.” I SAID.
“YOU HAVE IT?” NICK SAID.
“YEAH AFTER CHEF DIED. THING IS I HAVENT REALLY GOTTEN A CHANCE TO PUT IT ON.” I SAID.
NICK TOOK THE ARMOR AND SLIPPED IT ON.
“WHAT EXACTLY DOES IT DO?” NICK ASKED.
“IT'LL GIVE YOU ENOUGH STAMINA TO RUN UP THERE AND STAB ONE OF THOSE GUYS.” I SAID.
“WITH WHAT?” NICK SAID.
BAM! A BULLET SMASHED AGAINST THE ROCK.
“AWW DAMMIT THERE TRYING TO BREAK THE ROCK TO GET TO US” I SAID. “FIND A SHARP STICK AROUND HERE...”
BAM!
“OR I COULD USE THE SWORD...” NICK SAID.
“IDK NICK...” I SAID.
BAM! BAM!
“WE HAVE NO CHOICE SHIDO, THE ROCKS CRACKING AWAY.” NICK SAID. “EITHER YOU GIVE ME THE SWORD OR WE BOTH DIE.”
“EHHHH FINE” I SAID.
NICK GRABBED THE SWORD.
“ALRIGHT THEN..” NICK SAID. “HERE I GO!”
NICK JUMPED OVER THE ROCK AND THE SNIPERS KEPT THEIR ATTENTION ON HIM. NICK RAN UP TO THE SNIPERS, BUT A SHOT FROM ONE OF THEM KNOCKED HIM ON THE GROUND. NICK TRIED TO GET BACK UP BUT ANOTHER SHOT FLATTENED HIM.
I WATCHED AS A SNIPER MOVED DOWN TO TAKE THE GOLDEN ITEMS.
“UHHH FUCK” I SAID.
HE PICKED UP THE SWORD FIRST.
I PULLED MYSELF UP WITH THE HELP OF THE ROCK. THE SNIPER WITH THE SWORD LOOKED AT ME.
I SPRINTED TO THE SNIPER AND GRABBED HIM. HE SHOVED THE SWORD RIGHT INTO MY STOMACH.
“AHHH” I SAID.
THE OTHER SNIPER SHOT AND SHOT HIS FRIEND IN THE BACK. HIS FRIEND DIED AND I HAD TO DROP HIM. I PULLED THE SWORD OUT OF MY STOMACH.
“AHHH...” I SAID.
I FELL OVER. I WAS TOO INJURED.
“WELL WELL” THE SNIPER SAID.
HE SLID DOWN TO ME.
I TRIED CRAWLING AWAY BUT HE STEPPED ON ME TO HOLD ME THERE.
HE PICKED UP THE SWORD.
HE EXAMINED IT FOR A BIT AND THEN PUT IT IN HIS BACK POCKET.
“AND WHATS THIS OVER HERE” HE SAID.
HE TOOK THE ARMOR OFF OF NICK.
“LOOKS LIKE IM GETTING A PROMOTION AT SWC.” HE SAID. “A BIG ONE. I'LL BE SURE TO BRING YOU IN ALIVE, SHIDO.”
THEN NICK GRABBED THE SNIPERS LEG AND BIT INTO IT AS HARD AS HE COULD.
“WHAT THE FUCK??” THE SNIPER SAID.
HE TRIED SHAKING NICK OFF, BUT THEN HE JUST KICKED HIM OFF. HE TOOK OUT HIS PISTOL AND SHOT NICK IN THE STOMACH.
“NOW, TO FINISH YOU OFF, AND YOUR FATASS FRIEND OVER THERE.” THE SNIPER SAID.
HE RELOADED HIS GUN AND PICKED IT UP TO AIM AT NICKS HEAD.
THEN A BULLET HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE LEG.
“NOOO!” HE SAID.
HE FELL OVER ONTOP OF NICK.
I CRAWLED OVER HASTILY AND SLID THE SWORD OUT OF HIS POCKET. I BROUGHT IT UP AND STABBED HIM THROUGH THE BACK. I WAS CAREFUL NOT TO HURT NICK.
“I'M HERE, I'M HERE GUYS” COLTEN SAID RUNNING DOWN TO US.
“I COULD TELL, BY THAT AWFUL SHOOTING.” I SAID. “WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO??”
“I WAS TRYING TO SNEAK AROUND AND TAKE THE SNIPERS BY THE BACK. ATLEAST I HELPED SOMEONE.”
“NEXT TIME, TELL US.” I SAID. “COLTEN, WE ALL NEED DOCTORS.”
“I DONT KNOW ANY DOCTORS AROUND...” COLTEN SAID.
“COLTEN, YOU'RE SMART...DO IT YOURSELF.” I SAID.
“WHA? WELL I MEAN...I DO KIND OF KNOW THE BASICS OF MEDICAL WORK BUT..IF I MESS UP YOU'RE DONE FOR.” COLTEN SAID.
“C'MON, JUST PATCH UP ME AND NICK'S STOMACHS AND TAKE A BULLET OUT OF IZZY. HURRY COLTEN WE DONT HAVE MUCH TIME.” I SAID.
“WELL OKAY...ITS BETTER THAN DOING NOTHING AT ALL I SUPPOSE.” COLTEN SAID. “I'LL START WITH YOU SHIDO.”
COLTEN PLACED HIS HANDS ON MY RIPPED STOMACH.
“OKAY THIS WILL STING A LOT” COLTEN SAID. “DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY TAPE?”
“...YES! YES I ACTUALLY DO!” I SAID. “IN MY BACK POCKET.”
COLTEN TOOK THE TAPE OUT OF MY BACK POCKET. HE SHIFTED A FEW THINGS THERE, TOOK OUT SOME STUFF THERE, UNTIL HE TAPED ME UP.
“REMEMBER KIDS DUCT TAPE CAN FIX ANYTHING!” COLTEN SAID. “SHIDO, YOU SHOULD REST.”
I CLOSED MY EYES AND WENT TO SLEEP.
I WOKE UP ABOUT AN HOUR LATER.
“COLTEN?” I SAID.
“GOOD, YOU'RE AWAKE.” COLTEN SAID.
“HOW DID THE OTHER OPERATIONS GO?” I SAID.
“AMAZINGLY WELL.” COLTEN SAID. “OH YEAH, AND HERE YOU GO. YOUR DUCT TAPE. I DIDN'T USE A LOT.”
“LIKE, I'LL EVER NEED THIS AGAIN.” I SAID. “OH WELL, I'LL KEEP IT ANYWAYS I GUESS.”
“SO, I SAY WE GO AND KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE MEXICAN.” IZZY SAID.
“AS MUCH AS I WANT TO, KICKING JAMEZ'S ASS ISN'T OUR MAIN OBJECTIVE.” I SAID.
“SHIDO'S RIGHT.” COLTEN SAID. “WE'LL GET OUR REVENGE ON JAMEZ, JUST NOT NOW.”
“WE SHOULD GTFO” IZZY SAID. “THEY'LL PROBABLY BE WONDERING WHY THESE SNIPERS DIDN'T COME HOME SOON.”
“YEAH IZZY'S RIGHT.” COLTEN SAID.
“NICK'S STILL RESTING” I SAID.
“CARRY HIM, SHIDO.” IZZY SAID. “MY SHOULDER'S TOO WEAK.”
“NO, SHIDO NEEDS TO COOL DOWN” COLTEN SAID. “I'LL CARRY HIM.”
“OKAY COLTEN BUT, YOU'RE TOO WEAK.” IZZY SAID.
“I MAY NOT BE AS STRONG AS YOU GUYS, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN I CANT LIFT A 14 YEAR OLD KID.” COLTEN SAID.
COLTEN PICKED NICK UP A FLUNG HIM AROUND HIS SHOULDER.
“NOW” COLTEN SAID. “WHAT ARE OUR MEANS OF TRAVEL?”
“I...I DONT KNOW” I SAID. “WERE ALL THE WAY IN ASIA, AND THE ARROWS ARE IN EUROPE..”
“EXCUSE ME...” A MAN SAID.
A CARRIAGE WITH HORSES RODE BY. AN OLD MAN WAS DRIVING THEM.
“DID YOU SAY YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO TAKE YOU SOMWHERE?”
“NO.” I SAID.
“OH.” THE MAN SAID.
HE RODE OFF INTO THE DISTANCE.
“SHIDO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” COLTEN SAID.
“EXCUSE ME SIR, EXCUSE ME!!” COLTEN SAID.
WE CHASED AFTER THE CARRIAGE.
THE MAN STOPPED IT.
“YEAH?” HE SAID.
“MY FRIEND WAS LYING. WE DO NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE US SOMEWHERE.” COLTEN SAID.
“OKAY.” THE MAN SAID.
HE RODE OFF INTO THE DISTANCE.
“GOD DAMMIT” COLTEN SAID. “WAIT GOD DAMMIT WAIT”
THE MAN STOPPED HIS CARRIAGE. WE CAUGHT UP.
“WE NEED YOU TO TAKE US TO EUROPE” COLTEN SAID.
THE MAN PULLED OUT A GUN AND POINTED IT AT ME.
“WHOA, WHOA!” I SAID. I PUT MY HAND INTO THE AIR.
“YOU FOOLS THINK I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE?” THE MAN SAID. “YOUR THAT NR GANG, WHO CAUSES TROUBLE EVERYWHERE!”
“PLEASE SIR, IT'S NOT AS IT SEEMS.” I SAID. “WERE TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD”
“RIGHT, AND BRYBRY READS PLAYBOY” THE MAN SAID.
“NO, HE'S SERIOUS OLD GEEZER” IZZY SAID.
THE MAN TURNED TO IZZY.
HE LOWERED HIS GUN.
“MY GOD...” THE MAN SAID. “IZZY?”
“DO I KNOW YOU?” IZZY SAID.
“IZZY...IT'S ME!” THE MAN SAID. “YOU'RE GRANDFATHER!”
“....GRANDPA REDD??” IZZY SAID.
“THAT'S RIGHT!” THE MAN SAID. “BUT JUST CALL ME REDD FROM NOW ON. YOU'RE OLDER NOW.”
“REDD, HOW ARE YOU?” IZZY SAID.
“FINE.” REDD SAID. “MY QUESTION IS: HOW ARE YOU? THE FAMILY HASNT HEARD FROM YOU IN YEARS.”
“OH WELL IM BEING TRACKED DOWN BY DEMONS AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS JUST BETRAYED ME YKNOW IVE BEEN BETTER.” IZZY SAID.
REDD STARED AT ME FOR A SECOND.
“SO YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT SAVING THE WORLD HUH?” REDD SAID.
“DEAD SERIOUS.” I SAID.
“GET INSIDE THE CARRIAGE.” REDD SAID. “I'LL HIDE YOU SO THESE SWC AND MT ASSHOLES DOWN SHOOT AT US.”
WE ALL CLIMBED INTO THE CARRIAGE.
“WHERE TO BOYS?” REDD SAID.
“WERE GOING TO EUROPE.” I SAID. “TO STONEHEDGE.”

WE HID IN THE BACK OF THE CARRIAGE CRAMPED UP. WELL, IT WAS MOSTLY ME AND NICK BEING SMASHED BY IZZY'S MASS OF FAT.
“HOW MUCH LONGER?” I SAID.
“WERE IN ASIA. WE'RE TRYING TO GO TO AN ISLAND IN EUROPE. ON CARRIAGE.” REDD SAID. “IT'LL BE WELL OVER 6 WEEKS.”
“WE DONT HAVE FUCKING 6 WEEKS.” I SAID.
“SHIDO, JUST BE PATIENT.” IZZY SAID.
“NO IZZY, NO.” I SAID. “WE NEED TO GET THERE TODAY. SUNNY'S GOT HIS WEAPONS, THEY'RE ALL READY.”
“NO SHIDO, WE HAVE THE GOLDEN ARMOR AND THE GOLDEN SWORD.” IZZY SAID.
“NO IZZY, THEY DONT CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE.” I SAID. “THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF SILVER WEAPONS.”
“WELL LOOK” RED SAID. “IF YOU RIDE ON ONE OF THE HORSES YOU COULD PROBABLY GET TO BRITAIN IN ABOUT 3 DAYS.”
“IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING, SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID.
“UHH FINE I GUESS.” I SAID.
I POPPED OUT OF THE CARRIAGE.
“SO WHICH HORSE DO I GET” I SAID.
“YOU PICK” REDD SAID. “THING IS, IF YOU TAKE ONE OF THESE HORSES, I CANT DRIVE MY CARRIAGE. SO...”
“WELL GOD WAIT TO GUILT TRIP ME OLD MAN.” I SAID. “I DONT WANT ANY HORSE NOW.”
“WELL THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING.” REDD SAID.
“I'M NOT SURE.” I SAID.
“EXCUSE ME” SOME MAN SAID. “ARE YOU HAVING A MECHANICLE CRISIS?”
“WELL KIND OF” I SAID. “WE NEED TO GET TO BRITAIN BY TODAY.”
“WELL THEN” THE MAN SAID. “WELCOME TO R1KK1'S MAGICAL MECHANICS SHOP!”
“WTF IS THIS SHIT” I SAID.
“HI IM R1KK1, OR RIK FOR SHORT” THE MAN SAID. “I CAN FIX ANYTHING, BUILD ANYTHING, AND EAT ANYTHING.”
“MAKE THIS CARRIAGE FLY.” I SAID.
“FINE.” RIK SAID. “100.”
“OH, OKAY THEN.” I SAID.
I PULLED OUT 100 DOLLARS AND GAVE IT TO RIK
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” RIK SAID. “100 SCARABS.”
“WHAT IN GODS NAME IS A SCARAB.” I SAID.
“THEY ARE LITTLE BUGS. I EAT THEM. I NEED THEM.” RIK SAID.
“WELL WHERE THE HELL CAN WE FIND ONE.” REDD SAID.
“SCARABS? THEY'RE JUST ABOUT UNDER ANY ROCK.” RIK SAID. “THING IS, THEY'RE TRICKY TO CATCH.”
“FINE WE'LL MAKE A DEAL.” I SAID. “IF YOU START FIXING THIS CARRIAGE NOW, WE'LL HAVE 100 SCARABS BY THE TIME YOU'RE FINISHED.”
“SOUNDS GOOD.” RIK SAID. “BUT IF YOU DONT, I GET TO KEEP YOUR FRIEND.”
“WHO?” I SAID.
“THE FAT ONE. SCARABS LIKE TO HIDE IN FAT, SO HE'LL BE A GOOD STORAGE UNIT.” RIK SAID.
“EHHH FINE.” I SAID.
“GREAT!” RIK SAID. “I'LL START NOW”
“LET'S START LOOKING” REDD SAID.
WE PICKED UP A NEARBY ROCK. NOTHING.
“HM.” REDD SAID. “TRY THE ROCK OVER THERE.”
NOTHING.
“THAT ONE OF THERE?” I SAID.
NOTHING.
“DONE!” RIK SAID.
“WHAT??” I SAID.
“DONE. WHERE'S MY SCARABS.” RIK SAID.
ME AND REDD JUST STOOD THERE STARING AT RIK FOR A SECOND.
I GRABBED RIK AND HELD THE SWORD AGAINST HIS NECK.
“LISTEN YOU LITTLE FUCK, YOU BETTER LETS US GO OR YOUR BLOODS GONNA BE ALL OVER THE GROUND” I SAID.
“OFUCKOFUCKOFUCK” RIK SAID. “JUST GO, TAKE IT!”
“THANKS” I SAID.
I THREW RIK ON THE GROUND.
“ALSO, YOU'RE A BIT OF A DOUCHEBAG.” I SAID. “JUST LETTIN YOU KNOW.”
“HERE RIK, KEEP THE HORSES.” REDD SAID.
“FINALLY SOMETHING I CAN MAKE LOVE TO” RIK SAID. “TWINS, NICE.”
REDD GOT INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT AND I CLIMBED IN THE BACK AGAIN. WE FLEW OFF.
“HEY GUYS” IZZY SAID. “WHILE RIK WAS FIXING THIS THING UP I STOLE THIS”
IT WAS A GIANT TURRET.
“YES, IZZY, YES!” I SAID.
“WHA?” NICK SAID.
“NICK, YOU'RE AWAKE!” I SAID.
“WHAT HAPPENED?” NICK SAID.
“NICK.” I SAID. “YOU...YOU DID SOMETHING.”
“I....I DID SOMETHING?” NICK SAID.
I NODDED MY HEAD.
“I DID SOMETHING!!! I DID SOMETHING!!!!!!” NICK SAID.
“GUYS I'M SEEING SOMETHING” REDD SAID.
“WHAT?” I SAID.
“A WEIRD LOOKING BLUE PLANE.” REDD SAID.
“JAMEZ!” COLTEN SAID.
“PLAY IT COOL, REDD” IZZY SAID.
REDD FLEW NEXT TO THE PLANE.
“EXCUSE ME SIR” SOMEONE FROM THE PLANE SAID. “ALL AIRCRAFT HAS BEEN CALLED TO LAND.”
“OFUCK THEY MUST BE TRYING TO FIND US” I SAID.
“BUT I HAVE TO GET TO MY WIFE IMMEDIATLY” REDD SAID. “SHE...SHE HAS CANCER”
“WE'LL TAKE YOU THERE THEN.” THE GUY SAID.
“FUCK THIS SHIT” REDD SAID. “KILL THESE FAGGOTS”
“WHAT?” THE GUY SAID.
IZZY KICKED THE BACK OF THE CARRIAGE OPEN.
“IT'S THEM!” THE GUY SAID.
IZZY TOOK THE TURRET AND STARTED LIGHTING UP THE PLANE.
“AH FUCK!” THE GUY SAID.
HUNDREDS OF HOLES WERE RIPPED INTO THE PLANE AND IT STARTED GOING DOWN. REDD SMASHED INTO THE SIDE OF THE PLANE, SENDING IT WHIRLING TO THE GROUND. JAMEZ FLEW OUT OF THE PILOT SEAT AND PARACHUTED INTO THE AIR.
“GET HIM” I SAID.
IZZY TURNED THE TURRET AND STARTED SHOOTING AT JAMEZ.
“STOP GUYS!” JAMEZ SAID. “WE USED TO BE FRIENDS REMEMBER??”
“JAMEZ” IZZY SAID. “I WAS NEVER YOUR FRIEND.”
THE BULLETS TORE APART JAMEZ'S PARACHUTE.
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” JAMEZ SAID AS HE FELL TO THE GROUND.
“GET HIM, MAKE SURE HE'S DEAD” I SAID.
IZZY SHOT AT JAMEZ FALLING BODY.
“DID YOU GET HIM?” I SAID.
“TOO FAR AWAY TO TELL” IZZY SAID. “I THINK SO THOUGH.”
“ALRIGHT BOYS CLOSE UP THE CARRIAGE.” REDD SAID. “WE DON'T WANT ANYMORE TROUBLE.”
“YES WE DO” IZZY SAID.
THEN A GIANT MISSEL FLEW UP PAST THE CARRIAGE.
“FUCK” REDD SAID. “MORTARS”
“SO THEY THINK THEY'VE GOT US HUH” IZZY SAID.
IZZY AIMED DOWN TO THE GROUND AND STARTED SHOOTING ALL THE MORTARS.
COLTEN CRAWLED UP THE THE EDGE OF THE CARRIAGE.
“I'LL SNIPE EM” COLTEN SAID.
“GOOD LUCK, BAD SHOT.” I SAID.
“BOYS, WE'RE RIGHT OVER RUSSIA RIGHT NOW.” REDD SAID. “OR..WHAT USED TO BE RUSSIA BEFORE AJ TOOK IT OVER-”
“YES, WE KNOW THE STORY” I SAID.
“WE'RE MAKING GREAT TIME” COLTEN SAID.
A MISSEL FLEW UP AND DESTROYED ONE OF THE WINGS.
“OHHH NO” REDD SAID. “WE'RE GONNA DROP”
“IZZY, WTF ARE YOU DOING??” I SAID. “LEMME TAKE THAT”
I PUSHED IZZY OUT OF THE WAY AND STARTED TEARING UP MT FAGGOTS.
EVENTUALLY SOME GUYS ABANDONNED THEIR POST AND STARTED RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES, BUT I GOT THEM ALL.
“HOLD ON BOYS” REDD SAID.
WE TWIRLED DOWN TO THE GROUND, AND REDD TRIED TO PULL THE CARRIAGE BACK UP FOR A SAFE LANDING. WE SMASHED INTO THE GROUND, AND HOPPED BACK INTO THE AIR, BUT WE HIT THE GROUND AGAIN, AND SLID INTO A TREE.
REDD FLEW OUT OF THE SEAT AND SMACKED INTO THE TREE.
WE JUMPED OUT OF THE CARRIAGE.
“REDD!” IZZY SAID.
“I'M OKAY” REDD SAID.
“WHERE ARE WE REDD?” I SAID.
“THE EDGE OF RUSSIA. JUST TAKE A FEW STEPS AND WERE IN EUROPE.” REDD SAID.
“WELL, WE HAVE TO GET TO STONEHEDGE SOMEHOW.” I SAID.
“LET'S WALK FOR NOW.” COLTEN SAID.
WE WALKED INTO EUROPE.
WE WALKED FOR 4 HOURS, UNTIL WE WERE IN POLAND.
“AHH POLAND” IZZY SAID. “HOME OF THE FREE.”
“ALRIGHT, LET'S KEEP GOING UNTIL ITALY GUYS” COLTEN SAID.
“ITALY?? NO WAY” IZZY SAID.
“WHY NOT, IZZY?” I SAID.
“ITALY'S SCARY.” IZZY SAID. “I WENT BACK IN TIME THERE ONCE AND THERE WAS THIS ASSASSIN KILLING EVERYONE.”
“OH IZZY, YOU AND YOUR JOKES.” COLTEN SAID.
“NO, IM DEAD SERIOUS” IZZY SAID. “HE KILLED THE FUCKING POPE”
“HOLD ON RIGHT THERE!” A GUY SAID.
“CAN I HELP YOU?” REDD SAID.
“THERE'S SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS...” THE MAN SAID.
“WHAT...?” I SAID.
“TWO ASIANS, TWO WHITE GUYS, AND AN ARHAB.” THE MAN SAID. “THE MOST EVIL RACES IN THE WORLD ALL HANGING AROUND EACHOTHER. WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?”
“WHA-?” COLTEN SAID.
“NOTHING!” I SAID. “IRONICALLY, WE'RE THE SAVIORS OF THE WORLD!”
“YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING AND I KNOW IT” THE MAN SAID. “COME WITH ME, YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST.”
“THIS IS FUCKING PROFILING.” IZZY SAID.
“HEYHEYHEY ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW” THE MAN SAID.
HE PULLED OUT A GUN AND AIMED IT AT IZZY.
“TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT” HE SAID.
“WHAT?” IZZY SAID.
“TAKE OFF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SHIRT!” THE MAN SAID.
“OKAY, OKAY!” IZZY SAID.
IZZY TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT.
“THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY, AMIGO.” THE MAN SAID. “NOT WEARING YOUR BOMB TODAY HUH?”
“FUCK YOU DUDE” IZZY SAID. “AND I'M ARABIAN NOT MEXICAN DUMBASS.”
“WHATEVER, YOU BOTH GOT THE SAME COLOR.” THE MAN SAID.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” I SAID.
“MY NAME IS OFFICER TRISTAR” HE SAID. “NOW ON SHOW ME YOUR POCKETS. YOU AND YOUR ASIAN FRIEND”
“WHAT WHY?” I SAID.
“JUST DO IT!” TRISTAR SAID.
ME AND NICK SHOWED HIM OUR POCKETS.
“WOW, MUST BE YOU'RE LUCKY DAY BROTHERS.” TRISTAR SAID. “NO NUCLEAR BOMBS TODAY. HM?”
“GO FUCK YOURSELF” NICK SAID. “AND WERE NOT BLACK.”
“WHATEVER YOU GOT THE SAME LIPS” TRISTAR SAID.
“NOT REALLY...” I SAID.
“SHUT UP OR I SHOOT” TRISTAR SAID. “AND AS FOR YOU TWO....”
TRISTAR TURNED TO COLTEN AND REDD.
“YOU'RE FREE TO GO.” TRISTAR SAID.
“WTF??” IZZY SAID.
“THEY ARE WHITE.” TRISTAR SAID. “OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE YOUR HOSTAGES.”
“SIR, YOU'RE RIGHT.” COLTEN SAID. “THEY'VE BEEN HOLDING US HOSTAGE.”
“GOOD, IM GLAD I COULD HELP” TRISTAR SAID.
COLTEN TOOK OUT HIS GUN AND POINTED IT AND TRISTAR.
“PUT DOWN THE GUN OR YOU'RE DEAD” COLTEN SAID.
“NO” TRISTAR SAID POINTING HIS GUN AT COLTEN. “PUT DOWN YOUR GUN”
“OOO, A STANDOFF” NICK SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD.
“NO, OFFICER, PUT DOWN YOUR GUN OR I STAB YOU.” I SAID.
“YOU STAB ME, I SHOOT YOUR FRIEND.” TRISTAR SAID.
“I CAN DODGE.” COLTEN SAID.
“WELL LET'S SEE THEN” TRISTAR SAID.
BAM!
“AH!” COLTEN SAID.
HE DROPPED HIS GUN AND FELL OVER.
AND STUCK MY SWORD RIGHT THROUGH TRISTAR'S BACK.
TRISTAR POINTED THE GUN BEHIND HIS BACK AND SHOT MY ARM. I LET GO OF THE SWORD AND GRABBED MY ARM.
NICK RAN UP AND KICKED TRISTAR IN THE BACK OF THE LEG, SO HE DROPPED ONTO THE GROUND. THEN REDD CAME OVER AND SMASHED TRISTARS HEAD WITH HIS FOOT.
“SHIDO ARE YOU OKAY?” NICK SAID.
“I'M FINE.” I SAID. “CHECK COLTEN.”
COLTEN WAS STILL ON THE GROUND.
“COLTEN?” REDD SAID.
“I'M OKAY” COLTEN SAID. “HE GOT ME IN THE SHOULDER IS ALL.”
“WELL, THAT WAS A REAL TIME WASTER.” I SAID.
“RIGHT, LET'S JUST KEEP GOING.” REDD SAID.
“LET'S UH FIND A DOCTOR FIRST.” COLTEN SAID.

WE CONTINUED ON TO BRITAIN.
“SHIDO” IZZY SAID. “WHAT IF JAMEZ IS RIGHT? WHAT IF GOD IS JUST SOME TYRANT?”
“DONT LISTEN TO JAMEZ” I SAID. “HES JUST BEEN BRAINWASHED IS ALL.”
“IT PROBABLY WASNT EVEN THAT HARD” COLTEN SAID. “HES REALLY GOT NOTHING THERE.”
“WELL BOYS” REDD SAID. “I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE NIGHT SOON.”
“WE NEED TO HURRY.” I SAID.
“SHIDO” NICK SAID. “WE WENT TO ANTARTICA, YOU ESCAPED SWC'S MAIN BASE, WE WERE BETRAYED BY JAMEZ, WE GOT INTO A DOGFIGHT...MAYBE WE COULD JUST CALL IT A DAY?”
“NO, WE HAVE TO STOP SWC TODAY” I SAID.
“WHOA WHOA SHIDO” COLTEN SAID. “SWC'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE. LET'S JUST REST.”
“SO YOU'RE ONE OF THEM HUH COLTEN?” I SAID.
I GRABBED COLTEN.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??” COLTEN SAID.
“HE'S BRAINWASHED YOU TOO, AND YOU'RE GOING TO STAB US ALL IN OUR SLEEP” I SAID.
“YOU WERE??” IZZY SAID.
“WHAT? NO! IM JUST SAYING, WE CANT BEAT SWC WHILE WERE TIRED” COLTEN SAID.
I THREW COLTEN DOWN.
“SOMEONE ELSE HERE IS A TRAITOR I KNOW IT” I SAID.
“SHIDO, JUST CHILL OUT” IZZY SAID.
“YOU!” I SAID.
“ME?” IZZY SAID.
“YOU WERE QUESTIONING GODS AUTHORITY NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES AGO.” I SAID. “HE TALKED TO YOU DIDNT HE?”
“WHAT? NO!” IZZY SAID.
“SHIDO, YOUR SCARING ME” NICK SAID.
“I'M TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD HERE” I SAID. “IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN GOD'S WAYS THEN LEAVE NOW.”
“...GOD EXISTS?” REDD SAID.
“YES. HE FUCKING EXISTS YOU OLD BASTARD” I SAID.
I GRABBED REDD.
“WHOA WHOA!” REDD SAID.
“SHIDO STOP IT!” IZZY SAID.
“MAKE ME” I SAID.
A GUNSHOT RANG OUT.
COLTEN STOOD THERE WITH HIS GUN POINTED AT ME.
“THE NEXT SHOT I'LL DROP YOU SHIDO” COLTEN SAID. “PUT HIM DOWN”
“SO YOU ARE A TRAITOR!” I SAID.
“NO SHIDO, I'M JUST TRYING TO CONTROL YOU” COLTEN SAID.
I CHARGED AT COLTEN AND HE SHOT ME. I TRIPPED FORWARD AND I WAS OUT.
I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING.
“UHHH” I SAID.
“SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID.
“WHERE ARE WE?” I SAID.
“WHERE WE WERE LAST NIGHT.” COLTEN SAID.
“WHAT? NO!” I SAID. “WE HAVE TO GO! WE HAVE TO GO!”
“SHIDO...” COLTEN SAID.
I JUMPED UP AND STARTED RUNNING.
“SHIDO, WAIT!” COLTEN SAID.
I RAN DOWN A FEW FEET AND STOPPED. WE WERE ON A CLIFF.
“WE TRIED LEAVING LAST NIGHT SHIDO, BUT WERE STUCK HERE.” COLTEN SAID. “BUT WHAT IM REALLY WORRIED ABOUT IS YOU. YOU WENT CRAZY LAST NIGHT.”
“THAT'S BECAUSE I CANT TRUST ANY OF YOU.” I SAID.
“SHIDO, CANT YOU SEE WHAT SUNNYS DONE?” COLTEN SAID. “HE'S TURNED YOU AGAINST THE TEAM.”
“TEAM? THIS ISNT A TEAM. THIS IS MY ADVENTURE. MIIIIINE. YOU GUYS WERE JUST MY GROUPIES.” I SAID.
“SHIDO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.” IZZY SAID. “WITHOUT US YOU'D BE NOWHERE.”
“WITHOUT YOU GUYS ID BE AT THE FUCKING STONEHEDGE RIGHT NOW” I SAID.
“SHIDO..DONT BE LIKE THIS” NICK SAID. “WERE YOUR FRIENDS. YOUR TEAMMATES.”
“YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF VULTURES WAITING TO GET YOUR PIECE OF THE FAME.” I SAID.
“FUCK THIS. THIS IS FUCKIN STOOPID.” IZZY SAID. “I RISKED MY LIFE FOR THIS JACKASS? HAVE FUN BEING TORN APART BY SWC, SHIDO.”
IZZY WALKED AWAY FROM THE GROUP.
“WELL IF MY GRANDSONS GOING, THEN I'M ALSO GOING.” REDD SAID. “PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, COLTEN. NICK. GO TO HELL SHIDO.”
“TRAITORS! I KNEW IT!” I SAID.
“SHIDO, WE JUST LOST TWO VALUBLE TEAMMATES AND YOU'RE DOING NOTHING.” COLTEN SAID.
“I DONT NEED ANY OF THEM.” I SAID.
“THEN YOU DON'T NEED ME. I'M OUT OF HERE, SHIDO.” COLTEN SAID.
COLTEN WALKED AWAY TOO.
“WELL NICK. LET'S GO.” I SAID.
NICK JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SHOOK HIS HEAD.
HE STARTED WALKING OFF TOO.
“AWW WELL GO AHEAD!” I SHOUTED AT THEM. “LEAVE ME! YOU'RE ALL WORTHLESS ANYWAYS!”I TURNED BACK TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. I TRIED TO LOOK FOR A WAY DOWN.
“I GOT IT...” I SAID. “IZZY IF WE ALL RIDE ON YO-OH WAIT....”
I LOOKED BEHIND ME ONE LAST TIME TO LET IT FULLY SINK IN I WAS ALONE.
I SIGHED.
I JUMPED OFF THE CLIFF.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD AND DUG INTO THE SIDE OF THE CLIFF. I WAS TRYING TO SLOW MYSELF DOWN BUT I KEPT FALLING. THE SWORD HIT A HARD ROCK, AND IT STUCK WHILE I FELL DOWN. THE SWORD SLIPPED OUT AND FELL DOWN TO ME AND I CAUGHT IT. I WAS SPINNING UNCONTROLABLY DOWN TO THE GROUND.
I PRESSED MY FOOT AGAINST THE CLIFF. MY FOOT HIT A ROCK AND I SPUN FASTER.
“AH FUCK” I SAID.
I TOOK THE SWORD IN TWO HANDS AND STABBED IT INTO THE CLIFF. I STOPPED FOR A SECOND, BUT I SPRAIGNED ONE OF MY SHOULDERS WHILE DOING THAT, SO I DROPPED AGAIN. I HIT THE GROUND. I WAS ONLY 12 FEET UP.
“OW..” I SAID.
I GRABBED MY SHOULDER.
“YOU SEE THAT?!” I SCREAMED. “I DONT NEED...ANY OF YOU!”
I PICKED UP A ROCK WITH MY GOOD ARM AND THREW IT SLOPPILY AT THE SWORD. IT KNOCKED IT OUT OF IT'S PLACE AND IT FELL DOWN TO ME.
“GAH...REDD WHERE ARE W-” I SAID. “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.”
I DRAGGED MYSELF TO A NEARBY CABIN.
I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.
A KIND WOMAN OPENED THE DOOR.
“I THOUGHT NINTENDOGIRL WAS THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE WORLD.” I SAID.
“UM NO” SHE SAID. “WHAT DO YOU WANT”
“IM IN REALLY BAD SHAPE. I THINK I HURT MY SHOULDER.” I SAID.
“FINE. YOU CAN REST HERE.” SHE SAID.
“I CANT STAY FOR LONG, I HAVE TO GET TO BRITAIN.” I SAID.
“WHY THE RUSH?” SHE SAID.
“I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD.” I SAID.
“OH GREAT.” SHE SAID. “ANOTHER NUT”
“NO, IM SERIOUS.” I SAID. “IM GOING TO KILL SUNNYCIDE TODAY.”
“HEY THATS MY HUSBAND.” SHE SAID.
“OH FUCK” I SAID.
“JUST KIDDING.” SHE SAID.
“OH THANK GOD” I SAID. “SO WHATS YOUR NAME.”
“SARADONYX” SHE SAID. “AND YOURS?”
“SHIDO” I SAID.
“OH YOU'RE THAT KID FROM NR.” SARA SAID. “YOU'RE ALL OVER THE NEWS.”
“I AM? I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO WATCH TV LATELY.” I SAID.
“YEAH, YOU'RE WANTED FOR LIKE A BAZILLION DOLLARS.” SARA SAID. “SO ARE YOUR TEAMMATES.”
“OH.” I SAID.
“YEAH WELL, I'VE BEEN CHEERING YOU ON. I DONT REALLY LIKE THIS GOVERNMENT.” SARA SAID.
“WHO RULES HERE, SWC OR MT?” I SAID.
“BOTH.” SHE SAID. “THEY COME HERE ALL THE TIME AND CHARGE ME A BREATHING TAX.”
“BREATHING TAX?” I SAID.
“YEAH, SWC BOUGHT THE RIGHTS TO OXYGEN AND CARBON DIOXIDE SO WE GET FINED EVERYTIME WE USE IT.” SARA SAID.
“THATS FUCKING RETARDED.” I SAID.
“YES IT IS, BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?” SARA SAID. “SWC WILL COMPLETELY DESTROY ME IF I DONT GIVE IN TO THEIR DEMANDS.”
“SO WHO EXACTLY COMES HERE?” I SAID.
“THAT ONE....RK FELLOW.” SARA SAID. “COMES HERE EVERYDAY. SHOULD BE COMING HERE SOON.”
“OH FUCK” I SAID. “WHERE CAN I HIDE.”
“THERE IS NO WHERE TO HIDE, ITS A ONE ROOM HOUSE.” SARA SAID.
“WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME RK COMES HERE??” I SAID.
“I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE LIKE SOME OUTLAW UNTIL A MINUTE AGO.” SARA SAID.
SARA LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW.
“HE'S COMING.” SARA SAID.
“YOU SAID COMING.” I SAID.
“YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. NOW.” SARA SAID. “I CANT BE SEEN HARBORING A FUGITIVE.”
“HOLD ON SARA” I SAID. “IM GONNA HAVE A SURPRISE FOR RK.”
I PULLED OUT THE SWORD.
“ARE YOU INSANE?” SARA SAID.
“I HAVE TO DO THIS, THIS IS THE ONLY CHANCE I GET.” I SAID. “NOW, WHEN HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR, OPEN IT, AND I'LL STAB HIM.”
“I DONT LIKE THIS” SARA SAID.
“IT'LL WORK.” I SAID.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
“SARA, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR” RK SAID.
“OKAY OKAY” SARA SAID.
SHE GRABBED THE HANDLE OF THE DOOR. SHE CLOSED HER EYES AND TOOK A DEEP BREATH. I HELD THE SWORD STRAIGHT FORWARD.
SHE OPENED THE DOOR UP WIDE AND I CHARGED AT RK WITH THE SWORD.
RK GRABBED MY HEAD AND SMASHED IT INTO THE GROUND.
“WOW THANKS FOR THE GIFT SARA” RK SAID. “BUT YOU KNOW HARBORING A FUGITIVE IS AUTOMATIC DEATH, SO, GOODBYE”
RK PULLED OUT A GUN AND SHOT SARADONYX TWICE.
RK PUT HIS FOOT ON MY HEAD.
“YOU CAUSED A BIT OF TROUBLE WHEN YOU LEFT.” RK SAID. “WE COULDN'T EVEN FIND YOU WHEN YOU RAN OFF. WHERE'D YOU GO?”
“BITE ME” I SAID.
“HEYHEYHEY” RK SAID.
RK TOOK THE SWORD OUT OF MY HANDS.
“WHERES THE GANG” RK SAID.
“NO WHERE” I SAID.
RK LOOKED AT THE SWORD.
“LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF SHIT” RK SAID. “SURELY NOTHING COMPARED TO SUNNY'S MASTERPIECE.”
“I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU” I SAID.
RK TOSSED THE SWORD BEHIND HIM.
“SHIDO...” RK SAID. “LOOK AT THE POSISTION YOU'RE IN, AND ASK YOURSELF IF THAT'S REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.”
“I'M THE CHOSEN ONE” I SAID.
“YEAH.” RK SAID. “AND SHADOWDRAGON WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL ME. THING IS KID, YOU CAN'T REALLY WRITE THESE THINGS OUT. THEY HAPPEN NATURALLY.”
“GOOD WILL ALWAYS CONQUER EVIL.” I SAID.
“YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD?” RK SAID. “SHIDO, LOOK AT EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED DURING THIS JOURNEY. SHIDO, YOU'RE FAR FROM A GOOD GUY.”
“NAME ANYTHING THAT PROVES IM NOT.” I SAID.
“WELL MOST RECENTLY YOU ROBBED POOR R1KK1. HE STARVED TO DEATH LAST NIGHT, SHIDO. AND LOOK AT POOR SARA OVER HERE. DEAD. BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO BE A HERO.” RK SAID. “BUT IF WERE TALKING EARLIER ON IN THIS LITTLE ADVENTURE, HOW ABOUT NINTENDOGIRL? OR WARIO? OR EVEN AJ. YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN ME OR SUNNY OR JAMEZ, SHIDO. SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN US.”
“EVEN IF I'M NOT BETTER THAN YOU, I'LL STILL STOP YOU.” I SAID.
“SOMEHOW, THAT DOESNT SCARE ME.” RK SAID.
HE KICKED MY FACE.
“NOW, LET'S GO FINISH YOU OFF.” RK SAID. “YOU'RE A LITTLE BUG I WANT SQUASHED.”
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE RK!” A FAMILIAR VOICE SAID.
IT WAS EAZY, WITH ABOUT A HUNDRED A2 TROOPS.
“LET HIM GO, OR WE TURN YOU INTO WORM'S FOOD.” EAZY SAID.
RK DROPPED ME AND PUT HIS HANDS IN THE AIR.
“IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS GUYS.” RK SAID. “YOU CAN BE ON THE WINNING SIDE.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP” EAZY SAID.
“ONCE SUNNY BECOMES GOD, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET A PAINFUL DEATH EAZY” RK SAID.
RK JUMPED UP INTO THE AIR AND VANISHED.
“SUNNY...BECOME GOD..?” I SAID TO MYSELF.
THE A2 TROOPS RAN DOWN TO ME.
“SHIDO, ARE YOU OKAY?” EAZY SAID.
“I HAVE A SPRAIGNED SHOULDER. AND A BIT OF A HEADACHE.” I SAID.
“I'LL HAVE MY MEDICS FIX YOU UP.” EAZY SAID.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE EAZY?” I SAID.
“EHHH TRYING TO TAKE BACK OUR WORLD ONE CONTINENT AT A TIME.” EAZY SAID. “AFTER WE SIEZED CONTROL OF AUSTRALIA I MOVED SQUADS OUT HERE. WERE EXTERMINATING THESE BASTARDS.”
“NOT A VERY GOOD ARMY IS IT?” I SAID.
“NO, SWC AND MT SUCK AT FIGHTING. IT'S THEIR DAMN DEMONS THAT KICK ASS.” EAZY SAID.
“YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.” I SAID.
“SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SHIDO?” EAZY SAID. “WHERE IS EVERYONE?”
“UH IM TRYING TO GET TO BRITAIN TO GET THE GOLDEN ARROWS.” I SAID.
“GOLDEN ARROWS?” EAZY SAID.
“IT'S NOTHING.” I SAID.
“WELL I CAN GET YOU TO BRITAIN.” EAZY SAID.
“THANKS A LOT EAZY.” I SAID.
“NO SHIDO, THANK YOU” EAZY SAID. “YOU'RE THE ONE SAVING THE WORLD, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP. NOW LET'S GET YOU TO A MEDIC.”

AFTER ONE OF THE A2 MEDICS FIXED ME, EAZY TOOK ME INTO A HELICOPTER.
“SO SHIDO, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THESE GOLDEN ARROWS.” EAZY SAID.
“WELL, THEY'RE ONE OF MANY GOLDEN WEAPONS, AND IF WE HAVE THEM WE CAN KILL SUNNY.” I SAID. “BUT I ONLY HAVE TWO. THE GOLDEN SWORD, AND THE GOLDEN ARMOR.”
“WELL WHERES THE OTHER ONES?” EAZY SAID.
“WELL” I SAID. “THE GOLDEN ARROWS ARE AT THE STONEHEDGE...I ASSUME...AND THE GOLDEN SHIELD IS WITH SUNNY.”
“WELL, I'LL GET YOU TO STONEHEDGE. THAT'S ABOUT ALL I CAN DO.” EAZY SAID. “HAVE YOU SEEN SUNNY LATELY?”
“I TALKED TO HIM YESTERDAY.” I SAID. “BUT THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM. HE HAS SOME SORT OF NEW WEAPONS. SILVER WEAPONS.”
“WELL SHIDO, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GOLD BEATS SILVER.” EAZY SAID. “I'M SURE YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.”
“RIGHT...” I SAID.
“SIR, WE HAVE SOME MT JETS RIGHT BEHIND US.” AN A2 SOLDIER SAID.
“WELL SHIDO, READY TO SHOOT DOWN SOME FAGGOTS?” EAZY SAID.
“WHAT CAN I DO” I SAID.
“TAKE THIS RPG” EAZY SAID. “SHOOT EM DOWN.”
EAZY SLID OPEN THE DOOR ON THE HELICOPTER.
“DONT FALL OUT NOW.” EAZY SAID.
I GRABBED THE RPG WITH TWO HANDS. I LEANED OUT OF THE HELICOPTER. THERE WERE 3 JETS.
“OKAY THEN...” I SAID.
I AIMED CAREFULLY AND THEN FIRED. THE ROCKET WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE JETS WINDSHIELD AND BLEW UP THE JET.
“NICE SHOT SHIDO!” EAZY SAID.
A JET SPED UP AND WAS NEXT TO THE HELICOPTER.
I AIMED AT THE OTHER JET BEHIND US AND BLEW IT OUT OF THE SKY. THE JET NEXT TO US RAMMED INTO US.
THE HELICOPTER UNSTEADILY ROCKED BACK AND FORTH.
“WHAT DO I DO? ITS TOO CLOSE TO BLOW IT UP” I SAID.
“YEAH, AND THE PILOT KNOWS THAT” EAZY SAID.
EAZY TOOK OUT A GUN AND STARTED SHOOTING AND THE JET'S WINDSHIELD. THE JET DROPPED BACK BEHIND THE HELICOPTER.
“I CANT GET A GOOD AIM ON HIM” I SAID.
THE JET STARTED SHOOTING AT THE TAIL OF THE HELICOPTER.
“AHH SHIDO DO SOMETHING” EAZY SAID.
“OKAY, TELL THE PILOT TO MOVE THE HELICOPTER.” I SAID.
“MOVE THE HELICOPTER, ASF!!” EAZY SAID.
“OKAY OKAY JESUS” ASF SAID.
ASF LEANED THE HELICOPTER LEFT.
I GOT A CLEAR SHOT ON THE JET.
“OKAY, HOLD THIS POSISTION” I SAID.
I AIMED CAREFULLY AND THEN...
THE JET SHOT THE RPG OUT OF MY HANDS.
“NO!! DAMMIT!!” I SAID.
“WHAT HAPPENED??” EAZY SAID.
“THE RPG'S GONE, EAZY!” I SAID.
“WELL FUCK, TAKE THIS.” EAZY SAID.
HE HANDED ME A WRENCH.
“A WRENCH?” I SAID.
“ITS BETTER THAN NOTHING” EAZY SAID.
“WHY CANT I HAVE THE GUN?” I SAID.
“IT'S TOO FAR AWAY FOR A BULLET TO DO ANYTHING.” EAZY SAID.
“BUT A WRENCH...?” I SAID.
“DO IT SHIDO GOD DAMMIT!” EAZY SAID.
“OKAY...” I SAID.
THE JET SHOT AT THE HELICOPTER TAIL AGAIN.
“THIS HELICOPTER CANT TAKE MUCH MORE!” ASF SAID.
“HURRY SHIDO” EAZY SAID.
I LEANED OUT THE HELICOPTER AND THREW THE WRENCH AT THE JET'S WINDSHIELD. IT SMASHED THREW AND BUSTED THE PILOT'S FORHEAD. THE JET SANK TO THE GROUND AND EXPLODED.
“DAMN EAZY YOU WERE RIGHT” I SAID.
“IM ALWAYS RIGHT SHIDO. ALWAYS.” EAZY SAID.
“GUYS, WERE RIGHT ABOVE WHAT USED TO BE FRANCE.” ASF SAID.
“IM SORRY, I DONT KNOW MAPS.” I SAID. “HOW CLOSE ARE WE TO BRITAIN?”
“WE'RE RIGHT UNDER BRITAIN SHIDO.” EAZY SAID. “JUST CROSS THE SEA, AND WERE THERE.”
“GOOD.” I SAID.
“OH FUCK!” ASF SAID.
A JET BUZZED RIGHT PAST THE HELICOPTER, AND KNOCKED US OUT OF THE SKY. WE TWIRLED DOWN TO THE GROUND.
“HOLD ON GUYS” ASF SAID.
WE CRASHED INTO THE GROUND. THE HELICOPTER WAS 4 FEET UNDER GROUND.
“FUCK...” EAZY SAID. “SHIDO? ASF?”
“I'M GOOD.” I SAID.
“AS AM I.” ASF SAID.
EAZY CLIMBED OUT FIRST. THEN ME, AND ASF FOLLOWED BEHIND.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” JAMEZ SAID.
FIVE MT SOLDIERS POINTED THEIR GUNS AT US WHILE JAMEZ STOOD INFRONT OF THEM.
“I DIDNT EXPECT SHIDO TO BE IN THAT HELICOPTER.” JAMEZ SAID. “OH WELL, GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.”
“DON'T DO THIS JAMEZ.” I SAID.
“SHIDO, STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE OF ME ANYMORE.” JAMEZ SAID. “NOW, WHO HAS ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE I HAVE MY BOYS KILL THEM.”
“I HAVE A FEW” EAZY SAID.
“AND WHAT ARE THEY?” JAMEZ SAID.
“WELL..” EAZY SAID.
EAZY GRABBED JAMEZ AND PUT THE GUN UP TO HIS NECK.
“PUT DOWN YOUR GUNS OR I KILL HIM” EAZY SAID.
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN” JAMEZ SAID.
“WE'LL CHECK WITH SUNNY.” AN MT SOLDIER SAID.
A MINUTE PASSED.
“SUNNY SAYS TO SHOOT ANYWAYS.” THE MT SOLDIER SAID.
“NO, NO DONT LISTEN TO SUNNY HES JUST KIDDING” JAMEZ SAID.
“FUCK IT” EAZY SAID. “ASF, NOW!”
ASF PULLED OUT A GUN AND EAZY POINTED HIS TO THE SHOULDERS. THEY KILLED EACH ONE.
EAZY PUSHED JAMEZ DOWN.
“AHH NO DONT KILL ME!” JAMEZ SAID.
EAZY AND ASF POINTED THEIR GUNS AT HIM.
“MEBALL!” JAMEZ SAID. “MEBALL!!”
“MEBALL?” EAZY SAID.
“OH...FUCK.” I SAID.
MEBALL CAME SPRINTING AT EAZY. HE KNOCKED HIM DOWN AND THEN KICKED ASF.
JAMEZ GOT UP.
“HAHA! WHAT NOW GUYS?” JAMEZ SAID.
EAZY AND ASF GOT BACK UP.
“SHIDO, WE'LL TAKE MEBALL, YOU GET JAMEZ!” EAZY SAID.
“OFUCK OFUCK” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ STARTED RUNNING AWAY.
“HEY GET BACK HERE!” I SAID.
I RAN AFTER HIM.
WE RAN INTO SOME SORT OF DESERT AREA BEFORE I TACKLED HIM.
I GOT UP AND KICKED HIM IN THE SIDE.
“I DIDNT WANT TO DO THIS SHIDO” JAMEZ SAID. “BUT NOW I HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS.”
“JAMEZ, DONT MAKE ME LAUGH.” I SAID.
I GRABBED HIM BY HIS SHIRT AND THREW HIM. HE ROLLED AROUND ON THE GROUND AND THEN STOPPED. HE PUSHED HIMSELF UP.
“I MEAN IT SHIDO...” JAMEZ SAID.
I PUNCHED JAMEZ 3 TIMES IN THE FACE. HE STUMBLED BACK.
“TRY IT.” I SAID. “JUST TRY TO KICK MY ASS.”
“FINE” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ PULLED OUT SOME SILVER SUIT.
“WHATS THAT..?” I SAID.
“OH THIS? JUST UH, SILVER ARMOR.” JAMEZ SAID.
HE JUMPED INTO IT, AND IT COVERED HIS ENTIRE BODY. KIND OF LIKE METAL MARIO.
JAMEZ PULLED OUT THE GOLDEN SHIELD.
“I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS SHIDO.” JAMEZ SAID. “THIS SUIT MAKES YOU 2X FASTER, PLUS IT GIVES YOU MUCH MORE ENDURENCE.”
“SO...YOU CAN RUN AT SUPER SONIC SPEED?” I SAID.
“YUP.” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ CHARGED AT ME WITH THE GOLDEN SHIELD AND SLAMMED INTO ME.
I SHOT UP INTO THE AIR, AND SMACKED BACK ONTO THE GROUND.
“UGH” I SAID.
I GOT BACK UP AND SAW JAMEZ RUNNING BACK AT ME AT SUPER SPEED.
I WENT TO PULL OUT MY SWORD, BUT JAMEZ SLAPPED ME WITH THE SHIELD AGAIN.
I STEPPED BACK, AND HE GRABBED MY HEAD AND PUSHED INTO INTO HIS KNEE. I TRIED TO PUNCH HIM, BUT HE GRABBED MY HAND WITH SUPER SPEED.
“YOU'RE TOO SLOW” JAMEZ SAID AS HE TWISTED MY ARM.
“AH!” I SAID.
JAMEZ UPPERCUTTED ME WITH THE SHIELD AND I FLEW UP.
WHILE I WAS UP IN THE AIR, I DREW MY SWORD.
I GRABBED IT WITH BOTH HANDS, AND LANDED ON JAMEZ WITH A GIANT BLOW TO HIS HEAD.
JAMEZ JUST STOOD THERE.
“THAT IS NOTHING, FOR MY SILVER ARMOR.” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ PUSHED ME ON THE GROUND. THE SWORD SLID OUT OF MY HANDS.
I TRIED TO KICK UP AT JAMEZ, BUT HE GRABBED MY LEG AND THREW ME. I SLID ON THE GROUND.
“.....FUCKING SILVER ARMOR....” I SAID.
JAMEZ PICKED UP THE GOLDEN SWORD.
“THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE SHIDO.” JAMEZ SAID. “WORTHLESS.”
I MADE THE SWORD COME BACK TO ME.
“OH, I FORGOT YOU COULD DO THAT.” JAMEZ SAID. “OH WELL, YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING ANYWAYS. AND TO THINK YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. LOL”
“UGH...FIRE.” I SAID.
A GIANT WHITE FLASH APPEARED, AND FIRE BLASTED OUT OF THE SWORD.
JAMEZ WAS HIT AND FLEW BACK. BUT HE LANDED ON HIS FEET.
“STILL NOTHING FOR THIS ARMOR!” JAMEZ SAID. “I THINK SUNNY IS SMARTER THAN GOD.”
“OH YEAH...OH YEAH...” I SAID.
I PUT ON THE GOLDEN ARMOR.
“WHAT'S THAT SHIT GONNA DO?” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ RAN TOWARDS ME AT SUPER SONIC SPEED AGAIN.
HE PUNCHED ME TWICE BUT IT DIDNT HURT. I KICKED HIM BUT HE DIDNT MOVE. HE GRABBED MY SHOULDERS AND THREW ME AGAIN. I SMASHED INTO THE GROUND.
“C'MON, STEP IT UP!” JAMEZ SAID.
HE RAN TO ME AGAIN AND PICKED ME UP BY THE ARMOR. HE SMASHED ME INTO THE GROUND AGAIN. IT HURT A LITTLE.
“YOUR ARMORS ALREADY WEARING OUT” JAMEZ SAID.
I GOT BACK UP. JAMEZ RAN TO ME AGAIN.
I CRINGED AND STARTED TALKING TO THE ARMOR.
“DO SOMETHING...DO SOMETHING....” I SAID.
I WAS SURPRISED IT TOOK SO LONG FOR JAMEZ TO HIT ME. I LOOKED UP.
JAMEZ WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, MOVING SLOW. IN FACT, EVERYTHING WAS MOVING SLOW. THE ARMOR SLOWED DOWN TIME.
“YOU CAN SLOW DOWN TIME?” I SAID.
THEN TIME RETURNED BACK TO NORMAL AND JAMEZ BODY SLAMMED ME.
I FELL OVER.
“UHHH” I SAID. “DO IT AGAIN...DO IT AGAIN....”
JAMEZ WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. SLOWED DOWN. HE WAS ABOUT TO PICK ME UP.
I GRABBED HIS WRIST AND HEADBUTTED HIM. TIME RETURNED BACK TO NORMAL.
“HEY!” JAMEZ SAID. “THAT KIND OF HURT...!”
“C'MON JAMEZ” I SAID. “COME GET ME”
JAMEZ CHARGED AT ME THE SHIELD.
I SLOWED DOWN TIME AND GRABBED THE SHIELD OUT OF HIS HANDS. I BASHED HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT. TIME RETURNED.
“AHHH!!” JAMEZ SAID.
I TOOK OUT THE SWORD. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD EVERY GOLDEN ITEM I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE.
“N...NO!” JAMEZ SAID. “I WONT LET YOU WIN SHIDO!”
JAMEZ CHARGED AT ME AGAIN. I SLOWED DOWN TIME AND TRIPPED HIM. TIME RETURNED AND HE FELL FACE FIRST ONTO THE GROUND.
JAMEZ PUSHED HIMSELF UP.
“HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ TRIED TO PUNCH ME BUT I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO SLOW DOWN TIME. I DODGED IT. HE TRIED PUNCHING ME AGAIN AND I DODGED IT AGAIN. WHEN HE TRIED PUNCHING ME A THIRD TIME, I GRABBED HIS FIST AND KICKED HIM BACK.
“I'M NOT LOSING THIS SILVER SUIT TOO, SHIDO. THIS IS IMPORTANT.” JAMEZ SAID.
JAMEZ RAN OFF AT SUPER SPEED AWAY FROM ME.
“HEY, WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME!” I YELLED BACK AT HIM.
I STARTED TO HEAD BACK TO EAZY AND ASF.
THEY WERE STILL FIGHTING MEBALL.
MEBALL HAD ASF ON THE GROUND AND WAS CHOKING EAZY.
“HEY MEBALL” I SAID.
MEBALL TURNED AROUND AND I STUCK THE SWORD THROUGH HIS NECK.
“AAAAACK” MEBALL SAID.
HE FELL TO THE GROUND AND BLED TO DEATH.
“THANKS SHIDO” EAZY SAID.
“ONLY ONE MEBALL REMAINS.” I SAID.
“SO HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET TO BRITAIN NOW?” ASF SAID.
“I HAVE NO IDEA.” EAZY SAID.
“HELLO, HELLO ALL!” A FAMILIAR MAN SAID.
A BUS STOPPED BESIDE US.
“WOULD YOU GENTLEMEN CARE TO JOIN US ON IVERO'S TOUR OF BRITAIN?” IVERO SAID.
“IVERO THE TOURGUIDE!” I SAID.
“AW YES I REMEMBER YOU!” IVERO SAID. “YOU WERE THE ASSHOLE WHO MADE US STOP AT THE GOLDENWELL FOR HOURS.”
“LOOK, WE REALLY NEED TO GET TO BRITAIN, LIKE NOW.” I SAID.
“WELL HOP ON, THAT'S WHERE WERE GOING.” IVERO SAID.
WE GOT ONTO THE BUS.
WE DROVE OFF TO BRITAIN IN THE SUNSET.

EVETUALLY, WE REACHED THE SHORE.
“GENTLEMAN.” IVERO SAID. “RIGHT OVER THIS SEA IS BRITAIN.”
“SO HOW DO WE GET THERE?” I SAID.
“A FERRY SHOULD BE HERE SOON...” IVERO SAID.
A FERRY PULLED UP TO US.
“AH, RIGHT ON QUE. VERY GOOD VERY GOOD.” IVERO SAID.
WE CLIMBED ONTO THE FERRY.
“NOW LISTEN IVERO.” I SAID. “EVERYWHERE I GO DEATH FOLLOWS. I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW, I COULD RUIN YOUR BUSINESS.”
“AW, MY BUSINESS IS LOOOOOOONG RUINED. APARENTLY, PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU LICK THEIR FACE. DONT ASK. JUST DONT ASK.”
“SO WHO'S DRIVING THIS FERRY?” I SAID.
“MY BUSINESS PARTNER” IVERO SAID. “M1N1.”
“HELLO EVERYONE” M1N1 SAID.
“SUP” EAZY SAID. “LET'S HURRY BEFORE SWC FINDS US.”
“DON'T WORRY GUYS, IM PROVIDING EXCELLENT COVER FOR US.” ASF SAID.
ASF TORE APART WOOD FROM THE FERRY AND STACKED IT UP.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FERRY??” IVERO SAID.
“WERE GONNA NEED A PLACE TO DUCK WHEN MT AND SWC COME.” ASF SAID. “YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.”
M1N1 STARTED FLOATING US TO BRITAIN.
“SO IVERO, CAN YOU TAKE US TO STONEHEDGE TOO?” I SAID.
“OF COURSE.” IVERO SAID. “ANYTHING FOR THE SWC REBELS.”
“WHOAWHOAWHOA” ASF SAID.
HE POINTED UP TO THE SKY.
EAZY TOOK OUT HIS GUN.
“WHAT, WHAT??” EAZY SAID.
“...BIRD.” ASF SAID.
“YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.” I SAID.
“HEY SORRY, BUT IM A LITTLE TENSE RIGHT NOW.” ASF SAID. “THE ENTIRE ARMY'S AFTER YOU SHIDO, AND IM WITH YOU. OOOH IVE NEVER BEEN IN A BATTLE LIKE THIS BEFORE.”
EAZY SLAPPED ASF.
“SNAP OUT OF IT ASF!” EAZY SAID.
“SORRY, SIR.” ASF SAID.
“WAIT,WAIT,WAIT....” IVERO SAID. “THE ENTIRE ARMY'S AFTER YOU?”
“WELL...YEAH.” I SAID.
“HOLY FUCK.” IVERO SAID. “M1N1 PICK UP THE SPEED!! PICK UP THE SPEED!!”
“WHATS WRONG?” I SAID.
“I THOUGHT YOU MEANT JUST LIKE ONE SQUAD OR SOMETHING. AND NOT EVEN A GOOD SQUAD. I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE AN OMEGA SQUAD.” IVERO SAID. “I DONT WANT TO DIE HERE.”
“WELL THATS EXACTLY WHY I MADE THE COVER!” ASF SAID.
“ASF SHUT UP” I SAID. “IVERO, IT'S OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET HURT.”
“YEAH, IVERO. WERE THE GOOD GUYS HERE.” ASF SAID.
“WELL..” IVERO SAID. “I'M GLAD TO BE HELPING THE GOOD GUYS FOR ONCE. IF YOU GUYS SAVE THE WORLD, I'LL FEEL LIKE I'VE REALLY ACOMPLISHED SOMETHING FOR ONCE.”
I SUDDENLY REALIZED OF THE NEW TEAM I HAD QUICKLY PUT TOGETHER. EAZY, ASF, IVERO, MINI, AND ME. STILL I WONDERED WHERE IZZY, NICK, COLTEN, AND EVEN REDD WERE.
“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!” ASF SAID. “GET UNDER COVER!”
“WHAT ANOTHER BIRD?” I SAID.
THEN BULLETS STARTED FLYING AT THE FERRY.
“OH SHIT” I SAID.
I SLID TO COVER.
“THEY'RE GOING TO TEAR APART THIS FERRY IF WE DONT DO SOMETHING!” EAZY SAID.
“WHERE ARE THE SHOTS COMING FROM FIRST OF ALL?” IVERO SAID.
I PEERED OVER MY COVER. THERE WERE TWO CLIFFS IN THE WATER. ON THE CLIFFS WERE MT SOLDIERS FIRING TURRETS AT US.
“OVER THERE!” I SAID.
“ALRIGHT, ME AND ASF ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE GUNS...” EAZY SAID. “SO WERE KIND OF FUCKED.”
“DONT BE SO SURE.” M1N1 SAID.
M1N1 TOSSED TWO RIFLES AT ME AND IVERO.
“YOU KEEP GUNS ON THIS FERRY?” EAZY SAID.
“IT'S REQUIRED BY LAW, ACTUALLY.” M1N1 SAID.
“M1N1 GET BACK TO DRIVING!” IVERO SAID.
M1N1 HURRIED BACK TO THE DRIVING PLACE.
“ALRIGHT GUYS LET'S TAKE THESE GUYS OUT” EAZY SAID.
“THEY'RE WRECKING MY COVER!” ASF SAID.
“ON THE COUNT OF THREE, SHOOT.” EAZY SAID. “ONE...TWO...THREE!”
I POINTED THE GUN AT THE FIRST MT SOLDIER I COULD SEE. I SHOT.
I WAITED A MINUTE AND WATCHED HIM FALL OVER DEAD. A BULLET SHOT OVER MY HEAD.
“THESE GUYS ARE TERRIBLE SHOOTERS.” EAZY SAID.
“LIKE COLTEN” I SAID.
WE WERENT ABLE TO FINISH OFF THE SOLDIERS, BECAUSE WE WENT TO FAR FOR US TO EVEN SEE THEM.
“THAT WAS CLOSE.” IVERO SAID.
WE GOT UP FROM OUR COVER.
“AHHH FUCK” ASF SAID.
THERE WAS WATER LEAKING INTO THE FERRY.
“SHIT” EAZY SAID. “WERE SINKING”
“LIKE HELL WE ARE” I SAID.
I GOT OUT MY DUCT TAPE.
“DUCT TAPE, SHIDO?” IVERO SAID.
“IM PATCHING UP THOSE HOLES. BRB.” I SAID.
I WENT UNDERWATER AND USED DUCT TAPE TO PATCH UP THE HOLES. IMPOSSIBLE, I KNOW, BUT THIS IS FINR.
I CLIMBED BACK ONTO THE FERRY AGAIN. I HAD JUST A BIT OF DUCT TAPE LEFT.
I PUT IT BACK INTO MY POCKET.
WE CONTINUED ONTO BRITAIN.
WE SOON REACHED LAND AND CLIMBED OUT. M1N1 STAYED IN TO UNPACK SOME WEAPONS.
“THANK GOD WERE HERE” IVERO SAID.
“YEAH ASF, THAT BOX OF FISHING RODS WAS NOT A TOILET.” EAZY SAID.
“WELL HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW.” ASF SAID.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE” RK SAID.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING HOLD IT EVERY 5 SECONDS IT IS FUCKING ANNOYING” I SAID.
THERE WERE ABOUT 100 MT SOLDIERS AIMING THEIR GUNS ON US.
“INTERESTING SITUATION WE HAVE OURSELVES IN ISNT IT, EAZY” RK SAID.
“GO DIE RK” EAZY SAID.
“NUP NUP NUP” RK SAID. “IT'S FUNNY HOW MUCH THE TABLES HAVE REALLY TURNED SINCE THIS FIRST STARTED.”
“OH GOD HERE COMES THE MONOLOGUE.” ASF SAID.
“SHUT UP YOU IDIOT” RK SAID. “WHEN THIS FIRST STARTED, NR CONTROLLED EVERYTHING, AND MT AND SWC WERE VERY TINY. BUT NOW, HA HA, SWC AND MT CONTROL EVERYTHING, AND NR IS VERY, VERY, VERY TINY! HA HA HA!”
“BUT A2 IS KICKING YOUR ASSES IN AUSTRAILIA AND EUROPE!” EAZY SAID.
“HELL YA” ASF SAID QUIETLY SO RK COULDNT HEAR HIM.
“AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEIR LEADER DIES.” RK SAID.
RK TOOK OUT A GUN AND SHOT EAZY.
“EAZY!” ASF SAID.
EAZY FELL OVER ON THE GROUND.
“OH FUCK!” IVERO SAID.
“I'M FINE...” EAZY WHISPERED.
“AND YOU.” RK SAID TURNING TO IVERO.
IVERO JUST ABOUT WET HIMSELF.
“YOU'RE HELPING THEM? YOU'RE IN OUR COUNTRY!” RK SAID.
“I-I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR, MASTER!” IVERO SAID. “I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST-UH-REGULAR CUSTOMERS!”
“SWEAR TO SATAN?” RK SAID.
“UH...YEAH?” IVERO SAID.
“NEVER USE SATANS NAME IN VEIN!” RK SAID POINTING THE GUN AT IVERO.
“OKAY! OKAY IM SORRY! IM SORRY!” IVERO SAID CRYING.
“AND YOU.” RK SAID TURNING TO ASF. “WHAT ARE YOU, EAZY'S PET?”
“NO...”ASF SAID QUIETLY. HE SAID SOMETHING ELSE BUT I COULDNT HEAR IT.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” RK SAID. “SCARED TO SAY SOMETHING, JUNIOR?”
ASF LOOKED STRAIGHT AT RK WITH BRAND NEW CONFIDENCE.
“NO” ASF SAID. “WHAT I SAID WAS, NO, BUT YOU'RE SUNNYS PET. BUT APARENTLY YOU NEED TO CLEAN OUT YOUR GOD DAMN EARS YA FUCKING GOOK.”
RK SHOT ASF. ASF FELL OVER.
“WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO DISRESPECTFUL TO THE LAW?” RK SAID. “WHY CANT YOU ALL JUST BE STUPID PUSSIES LIKE IVERO?”
I PULLED OUT THE SWORD AND THE SHIELD.
RK JUST LAUGHED.
“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT, COWBOY?” RK SAID.
“HEY RK” M1N1 YELLED FROM THE FERRY. “SUCK MY MEXICAN DICK!”
M1N1 STARTED BLASTING EVERYONE WITH A GIANT MACHINE GUN.
A WHOLE BUNCH OF MT SOLDIERS FELL DOWN DEAD.
“SHOOT HIM YOU RETARDS!” RK SAID.
THE MT SOLDIERS TRIED TO SHOOT HIM BUT THEY ALL MISSED, OR GOT SHOT THEMSELVES.
M1N1 TURNED HIS FIRE TOWARDS RK, WHO STARTED TRYING TO OUTRUN IT.
I CHASED AFTER RK.
“HEY RK!” I SAID. “TASTE...THIS!”
I HEAVED THE GOLDEN SHIELD AT RK'S BACK.
“AHH!” RK SAID.
HE ROLLED DOWN ON THE GROUND. I RAN AND PICKED UP THE SHIELD AND STOMPED ON RK'S FACE.
RK GOT UP FAST AND TRIED TO PUNCH ME. I SLOWED DOWN TIME AND SMACK HIS FIST OUT OF MY WAY AND PUNCHED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE.
“OMGWTFBBQ” RK SAID. “WHAT IS THIS?”
RK KICKED ME BACK. IT WAS LIKE A SONIC BOOM.
I SLID ON THE GROUND. WHEN I STOPPED, I HOPPED UP, BUT RK WAS GONE.
I RAN BACK TO EAZY AND EVERYONE. M1N1 WAS THERE OPERATING ON ASF AND EAZY.
“IVERO, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” I SAID.
“I'M SORRY SHIDO, I REALLY AM. BUT I DIDNT WANT TO END UP LIKE EAZY.” IVERO SAID.
“YOU PUSSY!” ASF SAID. “YOU HAVE TO STAND UP TO THEM!”
“YEAH” I SAID. “ASF WAS SCARED BUT HE STILL STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF. AND HE MUST HAVE HURT RKS FEELINGS CAUSE DAAAAAAAAAMN HE SHOT HIM.”
“IM NOT VERY...OUTSPOKEN LIKE YOU GUYS THOUGH..” IVERO SAID. “BESIDES SWC IS VERY SCARY. THEY KILL PEOPLE WITHOUT CAUTION. I DONT LIKE IT.”
“WHO DOES.” EAZY SAID.
EAZY AND ASF WERE NOW BACK ON THEIR FEET.
“HOPEFULLY, IF SHIDO CAN STOP THESE DEMONS, WE CAN GET THE WORLD BACK ON TRACK.” EAZY SAID. “THE A2 GOVERNMENT WILL BE A GOOD ONE.”
“AMEN.” ASF SAID.
“GUYS, LET'S HURRY AND GET TO STONEHEDGE.” I SAID.
“A BUS SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE.” IVERO SAID. “I BET THOSE SWC MENACES TOOK IT OR SOMETHING. I GUESS WE HAVE TO GO BY FOOT.”
I FUCKING HATED WALKING. AFTER THIS ADVENTURE, I NEVER WANTED TO WALK AGAIN. EVER. I'D BE LIKE A RETARD IN A WHEELCHAIR. OR MAYBE ONE OF THOSE SITDOWN LAWN MOWERS. THAT WAY, IF I DONT LIKE SOMEBODY, I CAN JUST RUN THEM OVER.
AT LAST. AT LONG LAST. WE MADE IT TO STONHEDGE.
“WE'RE HERE! WE'RE HERE!” I SAID.
“STONEHEDGE HUH?” ASF SAID. “I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING UP WITH THIS PLACE.”
“YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT STONEHEDGE WAS UNTIL TODAY. AM I RIGHT?” EAZY SAID.
“YA SO WUT” ASF SAID.
“SHIDO, IF I MAY ASK” IVERO SAID. “WHERE WOULD THESE GOLDEN ARROWS EVEN BE IF THEY WERE HERE?”
“ISNT IT OBVIOUS, IVERO?” I SAID. “RIGHT HERE. SMACK DAP MIDDLE. WE JUST HAVE TO DIG HERE.”
“...WE HAVE NO SHOVELS...” M1N1 SAID.
“....” I SAID. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHH. AHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
“SHIDO JUST CALM DOWN.” EAZY SAID.
“SHOOT THE GROUND, SHOOT THE FUCKING GROUND” I SAID. “IVE COME TO FAR. IM NOT TURNING BACK NOW.”
WE ALL TOOK OUT OUR GUNS AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE GROUND. THE SURFACE SOON DETARRIATED (SP? AW WHO CARES) AND WE COULD SEE DIRT.
“OUT OF AMMO.” ASF SAID.
“SAME.” EVERYONE ELSE SAND.
“YOUR HANDS! USE YOUR HANDS!” I SAID.
WE STARTED DIGGING WITH OUR HANDS.
ABOUT 4 FEET IN, WE WERE SUCKED INSIDE SOME SORT OF PORTAL.
WE DROPPED DOWN INTO SOME SORT OF WEIRD WORLD.
WE WERE ON A FLOATING PLATFORM, AND SWIRLY BLACK LINES WERE ALL OVER THE SKY.
“DAMN MY EPILEPSY...” ASF SAID.
ASF CLOSED HIS EYES TIGHT.
IN FRONT OF US, WAS A GIANT STONE WALL.
A FACE POPPED OUT OF THAT WALL.
“HELLO, SHIDO.” THE WALL SAID.
“WALL?” I SAID.
“PLEASE, CALL ME LOLWUT.” THE WALL SAID.
“HM. LOLWUTS A STONEWALL? APROPRIATE, I'D SAY.” M1N1 SAID.
“SHIDO, DO YOU HAVE ALL THE OTHER GOLDEN WEAPONS?” LOLWUT SAID.
“I DO” I SAID.
I SHOWED HIM THE WEAPONS.
“DEAR GOD FINALLY” LOLWUT SAID. “I'M FREE. GOD BLESS YOU SHIDO.”
LOLWUT CRUMBLED INTO A MILLION PIECES AND FLOATED OFF INTO THE SWIRLY BLACK LINES.
“WHATS HAPPENING” ASF SAID.
I WALKED FORWARD.
THERE THEY WERE. THREE GOLDEN ARROWS AND A GOLDEN BOW AND ARROW.
WE HAD COME SO FAR, AND THIS WAS FINALLY IT.
I PICKED THEM ALL UP CAREFULLY.
“LET'S GO GUYS” I SAID.
“DID WE LEAVE?” ASF SAID.
ASF OPENED HIS EYES.
“ASDFDSAJFOJSDAOPFJSDOPAJFOPSDJA” ASF SAID. HE WAS HAVING A SEZIURE.
“GOD DAMMIT.” I SAID.
WE WENT BACK TO THE REAL WORLD.

WHEN WE GOT BACK TO THE REAL WORLD, THE HOLE WE DUG WITH OUR GUNS WASN'T THERE.
“WELL, SHIDO” EAZY SAID. “WHERE DO WE GO NOW?”
“WE JUST CAME OUT FROM AN IMPORTANT EVENT.” I SAID.
“SO?” ASF SAID.
“YOU KNOW HOW THIS WRITER IS.” I SAID. “5. 4. 3. 2. 1-”
“HOLD IT!” JAMEZ SAID.
“YUP.” I SAID.
A HOLE GROUP OF MT SOLDIERS FLANKED US AROUND THE STONEHEDGE.
“AW FUCK” ASF SAID. “IM OUT OF AMMO.”
“WE ALL ARE...” M1N1 SAID.
“OH THANKS GO YOU'RE HERE!” IVERO SAID. “THESE MEN HAVE HELP ME HOSTAGE, THEY'RE CRAZY”
IVERO RAN UP TO JAMEZ.
“HOLDING THIS POOR MAN HOSTAGE?” JAMEZ SAID. “YOU GUYS ARE SICK.”
“IVERO, WHAT THE HELL?” M1N1 SAID.
IVERO GAVE US A THUMBS UP.
“NOW, IDK WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING HERE, BUT IT'S TIME TO COME WITH US” JAMEZ SAID.
I HELD ONTO THE GOLDEN ARROWS TIGHTLY.
“HEY MASTER” IVERO SAID.
“WHAT?” JAMEZ SAID.
“REACH FOR THE SKY” IVERO SAID.
IVERO HAD A GUN PRESSED UP AGAINST JAMEZ BACK. THE MT SOLDIERS ALL POINTED TO IVERO.
“YOU SHOOT, HE DIES.” IVERO SAID.
“OH GOD OH GOD DONT SHOOT” JAMEZ SAID.
I TOOK OUT A GOLDEN ARROW AND THE BOW. I PULLED THE ARROW BACK, AND SHOT IT AT AN MT SOLDIER'S HEAD. THE ARROW FLEW OUT AND EXPLODED THE GUY'S HEAD, AND THEN CAME BACK TO ME.
ALL THE MT SOLDIERS TURNED TO ME. I STARTED SHOOTING ARROWS AT THEM AND IVERO STARTED SHOOTING AT THEM. EAZY AND THE OTHERS PICKED UP GUNS OF DEAD ONES AND STARTED SHOOTING.
“NO! NOO!” JAMEZ SAID.
BEFORE WE KNEW IT, ALL THE MT SOLDIERS WERE DEAD.
“HEY GUYS, I WAS JUST JOKING BEFORE” JAMEZ SAID. “NO ONE WAS GONNA COME WITH ME IT WAS JUST A JOKE GUYS CMON....”
IVERO PUSHED HIM DOWN.
JAMEZ GOT UP.
“LOOK, I KNOW THINGS ARE A LITTLE AWKWARD RIGHT NOW BUT” JAMEZ SAID. “SMOKE BOMB!”
JAMEZ THREW DOWN A SMOKE BOMB AND DISAPEARED.
WE LOOK UP AND A HELICOPTER WAS CARRYING HIM OFF.
DOZENS OF MT SOLDIERS DROPPED DOWN.
I SHOT AN ARROW TO ONE OF THE HELICOPTER'S PERPELLERS AND SMASHED IT.
THE HELICOPTER WOBBILY FLEW DOWN TO THE GROUND AND CRASHED.
“SHIDO, MT SOLDIERS!” EAZY SAID.
“THANKS EAZY, IM NOT BLIND.” I SAID. “OF COURSE WITH MY SLITS FOR EYES I COULD BE...”
“WHAT DO WE DO WE CAN'T BEAT ALL OF THEM!” ASF SAID.
“WE CAN TRY” M1N1 SAID.
I SAW MUSIC DROP DOWN ONTO THE GROUND.
“AW FUCK” I SAID. “A DEMON”
“AND A DEMON??” ASF SAID. “THIS IS IT, WERE DONE FOR!”
“ASF'S RIGHT. WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MEN TO FIGHT THIS.” EAZY SAID. “LET'S RUN.”
“WAIT GUYS” SOMEONE SAID.
I TURNED AROUND.
IT WAS IZZY!
“WE'LL HELP!” IZZY SAID.
NICK, IZZY, COLTEN, AND REDD WERE THERE.
“GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” I SAID.
“SHIDO” IZZY SAID. “WE REALIZED THAT WE COULDN'T LET YOU DO THIS YOURSELF. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH TO JUST TURN BACK NOW.”
“OKAY OKAY HEARTWARMING MOMENT I GET IT” ASF SAID. “BUT WE NEED TO FOCUS ON STAYING ALIVE.”
“WHOS THAT” IZZY SAID.
“UH JAMEZ'S REPLACEMENT.” I SAID. “PICK UP ONE OF THOSE MT GUNS.”
I TOOK ONE OF THE ROCKS AS COVER.
I LOOKED OUT AND AIMED AN ARROW AT MUSIC.
I SHOT, BUT IT HIT AN MT SOLDIER AND FLEW BACK TO ME.
“DAMN” I SAID.
I AIMED IT AT MUSIC AGAIN. BUT I DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
MUSIC GRABBED ME AND THREW ME PRETTY FAR.
I HIT THE GROUND.
“OW” I SAID.
MUSIC RAN UP TO ME AND GRABBED ME AGAIN, AND THREW ME AGAIN.
“STOP THROWING MEEEEEEEEEEEE” I SAID.
I HIT THE GROUND AGAIN.
MUSIC RAN UP TO ME AGAIN BUT I SHOT AN ARROW AT THE BOTTOM OF HIS JAW, AND IT SHOT THROUGH HIS HEAD AND EXPLODED IT.
“3 DEMONS DOWN, 3 TO GO” I SAID.
I GOT UP AND RAN BACK TO THE BATTLE.
A HELICOPTER WAS STARTING TO LAND WITH EVEN MORE SOLDIERS, SO I SHOT AT THE PERPELLER AND IT CRASHED AND BLEW UP.
“SHIDO” IVERO SAID. “THERE'S GOTTA BE LIKE, 100 HELICOPTERS IN THE SKY, DROPPING SOLDIERS!”
“THEY'RE TRYING TO KEEP YOU BUSY, SHIDO!” EAZY SAID. “SUNNY MUST KNOW YOU GOT THESE GOLDEN ARROW THINGS”
“YOUR RIGHT EAZY” I SAID.
“SHIDO” EAZY SAID. “TAKE YOUR FRIENDS AND GO. I ALREADY CALLED MY ARMY OVER HERE. WE'LL BE FINE”
“EAZY” I SAID. “YOU'RE THE ONLY BLACK PERSON IVE EVER LIKED.”
“AND YOU'RE THE SECOND ASIAN I THOUGHT WAS A GIRL BUT FOUND OUT WAS A BOY” EAZY SAID. “NOW GO”
“IZZY, NICK, COLTEN, REDD.” I SAID. “LET'S GO”
WE RAN AWAY FROM STONEHEDGE.
“HOW'D YOU GUYS GET HERE?” I SAID.
“WE WALKED” NICK SAID.
“LOOK GUYS, BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHUR I JUST WANT TO SAY” I SAID. “I'M SORRY.”
“SHIDO, THIS ISN'T CRYING IN NR, IT'S FEAR IN NR.” IZZY SAID. “LET'S JUST GO.”
“NO. I TOOK YOU GUYS FOR GRANTED. YOU GUYS HELPED ME OUT A LOT. YOU'RE MY FRIENDS.” I SAID.
“DAMMIT SHIDO” NICK SAID. “YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY NOW.”
AND THEN A GIANT LIGHT CAME FROM THE SKY ON ALL OF US.
“WHAT'S HAPPENING?” IZZY SAID.
“HEAVEN, IZZY!” I SAID. “WERE GOING TO HEAVEN!”
“...WE'RE DEAD????” REDD SAID. “I KNEW I WAS OLD BUT I THOUGHT I STILL HAD A FEW MORE YEARS LEFT! OH GOD OH GOD!”
“WE'RE NOT DEAD” I SAID. “THEY PRO-”
AND THEN WE WERE THERE.
“WOW HEAVEN'S AMAZING” COLTEN SAID.
“YEAH I MIGHT BUY A SUMMER HOUSE HERE.” IZZY SAID.
“WAIT..” I SAID. “SOMETHINGS WRONG.”
THE GOLDEN HOUSES WERE NOW GOLDEN DUST. THE PEOPLE WERE ALL GONE. THE CLOUDS WEREN'T SOFT.
“WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH THIS PLACE” NICK SAID.
“IT'S NOT RIGHT” I SAID. “IT WASNT LIKE THIS WHEN I CAME HERE.”
“SH..SHIDO..” A WEAK VOICE SAID.
“WHO'S THERE?” I SAID.
“IT'S ME...” THE VOICE SAID.
I LOOKED AROUND, AND SOME CHEF ON THE GROUND. DAMAGED.
“CHEF WHAT HAPPENED?” I SAID.
“SUNNY, RK, AND ZIRO CAME UP HERE AND DESTROYED THE PLACE.” CHEF SAID.
“WHERE ARE THEY??” I SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO...” CHEF SAID. “HE'S DEAD..THEY KILLED HIM..”
“SUNNY? SUNNY'S DEAD?” I SAID.
“NO..” CHEF SAID.
“RK? ZIRO?” I SAID.
CHEF SHOOK HIS HEAD.
“SHIDO...” CHEF SAID. “GOD. GOD IS DEAD.”
“GOD IS....DEAD?” NICK SAID.
“NO!!!” I SAID.
I KICED THE GROUND.
“I TRIED CHEF, I TRIED TO GET HERE EARLIER, I REALLY DID!!” I SAID.
“SUNNY IS GOD NOW.” CHEF SAID. “AND HELL IS NOW HEAVEN.”
“NO!!” I SAID. “NO!!”
“WELL, LET'S GO DOWN THERE AND KICK HIS WHITE ASS” IZZY SAID.
“IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE ANYMORE..” CHEF SAID. “SUNNY HAS LOCKED HELL....YOU NEED THREE KEYS TO GET IN.”
“WHERE ARE THE KEYS??” I SAID.
“SHIDO, YOU CAN'T FIND THEM. THE KEYS TO GET IN ARE HELD BY SUNNY.” CHEF SAID.
“SO IT'S PRETTY MUCH OVER.” I SAID. “I GUESS RK WAS RIGHT. I GUESS YOU CAN'T WRITE THESE THINGS OUT.”
“SHIDO..” CHEF SAID. “THERE IS STILL A WAY....”
“WHAT? WHAT??” I SAID. “I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO ANYTHING!”
“THERE WAS A 5TH GOLDEN WEAPON..” CHEF SAID. “INSIDE GOD.”
“INSIDE HIM?” I SAID.
“YES...YOU HAVE TO JUMP INTO GOD AND GET IT.” CHEF SAID.
“WHAT? WHAT IS IT?” I SAID.
“THE GOLDEN KEY.” CHEF SAID.
“GOLDEN KEY?” I SAID.
“HOW IS A KEY A WEAPON.” IZZY SAID.
“GOD KEPT IT TO OPEN AND LOCK HELL...” CHEF SAID. “IM SURE SUNNY FORGOT ABOUT IT...IM SURE YOU COULD STILL USE IT...”
“GUYS, LET'S GO JUMP INTO GOD.” I SAID.
“WAIT SHIDO...” CHEF SAID. “THAT IS NOT ALL...”
“?” I SAID.
“CHOOSE THREE PEOPLE IN HEAVEN AND BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE...” CHEF SAID. “TO FIGHT IN YOUR GROUP AGAINST SUNNY. YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT WITHOUT THREE PEOPLE...”
“I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU.” I SAID.
“FUCK YA” PIKACHU SAID.
“CHEF, I CHOOSE YOU.” I SAID.
“NO...” CHEF SAID. “NOT ME...I'M TOO WEAK NOW.”
“CHEF...” I SAID.
“GO CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE!” CHEF SAID.
“FINE...” I SAID. “OH AND PIKACHU I WAS JOKING. YOU ARE NOT PICKED.”
“FUCK YOU SHIDO.” PIKACHU SAID.
“WE'LL PICK THEM AFTER WE GO INTO GOD.” I SAID. “CMON GUYS. I KNOW WHERE HE IS.”
WE WALKED ACROSS HEAVEN FOREVER.
“HEY GUYS I SEE EAZY!” NICK SAID. “LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE KICKING ASS DOWN THERE.”
“NICK HURRY UP.” I SAID. “I DONT WANT SUNNY TO FIND OUT WHAT WERE DOING.”
WE HURRIED ALONG THE PATH OF HEAVEN. THE CLOUDS GOT THINNER AND THINNER AND STARTED CRACKING.
“WHAT DID SUNNY DO TO THIS PLACE...” I SAID. “THESE CLOUDS ARE ONLY GOING TO HOLD TWO PEOPLE. AND ONE OF THEM ISN'T IZZY.”
“I'LL STAY.” COLTEN SAID.
“AS WELL I” REDD SAID.
“NICK, YOU AND ME. INSIDE GOD.” I SAID.
“I HAD A DREAM LIKE THIS ONCE, BUT IT WAS NINTENDOGIRL INSTEAD OF GOD.” NICK SAID.
WE WALKED ACROSS THE CLOUDS. THE FURTHER WE WENT THE DARKER THE CLOUDS BECAME. WHEN WE REACHED GOD, THE CLOUDS WERE BLACK.
GOD WAS THERE, DARKER THAN USUAL.
“SO...WE JUST JUMP INTO THE SUN?” NICK SAID.
“I...I GUESS..?” I SAID.
I TOOK A DEEP BREATH IN. THEN, I LEAPED INTO GOD.
IT WAS SQUISHY. LIKE JELLO ALMOST.
I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING STRETCHED APART.
“AHHH” I SAID.
I FELL RIGHT ONTO A GROUND, IN A VERY STRANGE WORLD.
INSIDE GOD WAS ALMOST SCARY. THERE WERE A BUNCH OF PLATFORMS, AND
IT WAS A LIGHT ORANGE ALL AROUND ME.
NICK FELL ABOUT A MINUTE LATER.
“WHOA...” NICK SAID.
“I KNOW.” I SAID.
“THIS IS WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE OF GOD?” NICK SAID.
“I GUESS...” I SAID.
“WHERE'S THE KEY?” NICK SAID.
“I'M NOT SURE.” I SAID.
THERE WAS A WEIRD SOUND INSIDE GOD. LIKE IT WAS LIKE SOME SORT OF CREEPY
SOUND OF A RECORD MELTING WHILE STILL PLAYING. YOU KNOW? WHERE THE AUDIO JUST GETS DEEPER AND DEEPER, LIKE WHURRRELLELEELIRELLL. IT JUST KEPT PLAYING AND PLAYING IN HERE.
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT PLATFORM.
THIS PLATFORM HAD A GIANT BLOCK STACKED ON IT.
WE CLIMBED UP THE BLOCK, AND I LOOKED OUT.
“HOLY...” I SAID.
WE WERE ON EARTH AGAIN. BUT EARTH WAS DIFFERENT.
THERE WERE TONS OF PLANTS, AND ANIMALS RUNNING AROUND. THERE WERENT
BULLET SHELLS ALL OVER THE GROUND, OR BLOOD. THIS WASNT THE WORLD WE LIVED IN NOW. OR EVEN THE WORLD DURING NR. THIS WORLD SEEMED...HAPPY.
“SHIDO, WHAT'S HAPPENING?” NICK SAID.
“I DON'T KNOW..” I SAID.
A SMALL BOY RAN UP TO US.
“UH...HELLO.” I SAID.
“HI” THE BOY SAID.
HE WAS MAYBE 5 OR 6.
“UHHH...” I SAID. “WHAT'S GOING ON?”
THE BOY JUST STARED AT ME.
“UH OKAY...” I SAID. “WHERE ARE WE?”
“UHHHHHHHHHH” THE BOY SAID. “EARTH? I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.”
“WHAT WHO SAID?” I SAID.
“THE ONE CREATED US” THE BOY SAID. “EXCEPT I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU ANIMALS BEFORE.”
“WHAT?” I SAID.
“HOLY SHIT SHIDO...” NICK SAID. “I THINK WE'RE....”
“YOU CAN CALL ME SUNNY BY THE WAY” THE BOY SAID.

“SUNNY..??” I SAID.
“YUP!” THE BOY SAID. “BECAUSE OUR CREATOR IS VERY SUNNY, AND IM HIS BEST CREATION, SO IM SUNNY!”
I LOOKED UP. THE SUN BURNED BRIGHTER THAN EVER.
“SHIDO, WE WENT BACK IN TIME. WE FUCKING WENT BACK IN TIME.” NICK SAID.
“FINALLY, SOMEONE TO-”SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKED AND HE TURNED INTO HIS ADULT-SELF.
“-KILL” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED AND TURNED BACK INTO A KID.
“-PLAY WITH.” SUNNY SAID.
“SHIDO, I'M FUCKING SCARED.” NICK SAID.
“CALM DOWN NICK” I SAID. “HE'S JUST A KID.”
“SHIDO, DID YOU SEE THAT?” NICK SAID. “DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED??”
“YES NICK, BUT IM TRYING TO IGNORE IT BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING SCARY!!!” I SAID.
“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?” SUNNY SAID. “I WAS PRETTY SCARED WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE TOO, BUT GOD WOULDN'T HURT ME.”
“OKAY NICK, LET'S JUST TURN AROUND AND GO BACK.” I SAID.
WE TURNED AROUND BUT WE WERE COMPLETELY IN THIS WORLD NOW.
“CAN I SHOW YOU GUYS-” SUNNY SAID.
HE FLICKERED AGAIN.
“-SOMETHING?” SUNNY SAID.
HE FLICKERED AGAIN.
“UH...SURE...” I SAID.
SUNNY LED US THROUGH THE WORLD, FLICKERING FROM ADULT TO KID THE WHOLE WAY. SOON, WE REACHED A WOOD STUMP AND SUNNY PICKED UP A PICTURE.
“I DREW THIS” HE SAID IN HIS SQUEAKY LITTLE KID VOICE.
I GRABBED THE PICTURE.
“SHIDO...” NICK SAID. “THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU...”
“FUCK YOU NICK, JUST BECAUSE HE HAS TWO SLITS DOESNT MEAN ITS ME.” I SAID.
“IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GODS ENEMY” SUNNY SAID.
“GOD'S ENEMY?” I SAID.
“YUP. A SECOND GOD WHO MAKES THINGS LIKE GOD MAKES.” SUNNY SAID.
HE FLICKERED TO AN ADULT AND THEN BACK TO A KID.
“THAT SOUNDS LIKE SATAN.” NICK SAID.
“NICK, SHUT UP!” I SAID.
“SO THERE IS A SECOND GOD!” SUNNY SAID. “I TRIED TELLING RK THAT BUT HE WOULDNT LISTEN!”
“RK..?” I SAID.
“HE'S BEEN HERE-” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN ADULT.
“THE WHOLE TIME” SUNNY SAID.
HE FLICKERED BACK INTO A KID.
I LOOKED AROUND.
“I DONT SEE ANYONE...” I SAID.
“RIGHT THERE!” SUNNY SAID.
HE POINTED TO NOTHING.
“RK CANT DO THINGS I CAN DO.” SUNNY SAID. “I TRIED TELLING GOD THAT BUT HE WOULDNT LISTEN. MAYBE THE OTHER GOD CAN FIX HIM.”
“RK WAS SUNNY'S IMAGINARY FRIEND???” NICK SAID.
“NICK, SHUT UP!” I SAID.
“RK DOESNT LIKE YOU GUYS.” SUNNY SAID. “HE SAYS THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT YOU.”
SUNNY FLICKERED AGAIN.
BUT HE DIDN'T FLICKER BACK INTO A KID.
“SOMETHING VERY WRONG.” SUNNY SAID.
ME AND NICK BACKED UP. I THINK NICK PISSED HIMSELF.
RK FADED UNTIL WE COULD FULLY SEE HIM. HE WAS NEXT TO SUNNY.
“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHATS HAPPENING” I SAID.
ALL THE PLANTS DIED AND THE WHOLE WORLD WAS BROWN NOW.
THE PICTURE SUNNY GAVE ME BURNED UP. ALL THE ANIMALS DIED.
SUNNY AND RK WALKED PAST ME AND NICK.
“SO.” SUNNY SAID. “YOU GUYS THINK IT'S OKAY TO TRY AND INVADE THIS WORLD?”
“WHAT?” NICK SAID. “NO, NO!”
THE SUN LET OUT A GIANT BLAST AND WE WERE ON THE BLOCK THAT WAS ON THE PLATFORM AGAIN.
“...FUCK THAT WAS SCARY.” NICK SAID.
“WHAT HAPPENED?” I SAID. “WHAT WAS THAT?”
“I DON'T KNOW” NICK SAID. “LET'S JUST FIND THAT KEY AND GET OUT OF HERE.”
“AGREED.” I SAID.
THE NEXT PLATFORM WAS A PRETTY FAR JUMP.
I JUMPED FIRST.
WHEN I LANDED I WAS BACK IN THE WORLD.
NICK SOON APPEARED NEXT TO ME.
“WHERE'D YOU GUYS GO?” SUNNY SAID.
HE WAS A KID AGAIN.
“UHH” I SAID. “I DONT KNOW...”
“DONT LEAVE ME” SUNNY SAID. “I DONT LIKE BEING ALONE. THIS WORLD IS REALLY BORING.”
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN DULT AND BACK INTO A KID.
“WHY?” I SAID.
“GOD CANT DO THINGS LIKE ME. RK CANT DO THINGS LIKE ME. ANIMALS JUST IGNORE ME...WHAT I WANT IS ANOTHER ME.” SUNNY SAID.
“WELL, IRONICALLY YOU GET ABOUT 60 BILLION OTHER YOUS, BUT YOU WANT TO KILL THEM ALL.” NICK SAID.
“NICK, SHUT. UP!” I SAID.
“KILL?” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN ADULT AND BACK INTO A KID.
“I CAN KILL?” SUNNY SAID. “I THOUGHT ONLY GOD COULD KILL.”
“I...I...” NICK SAID.
SUNNY LOOKED AROUND. HE STARTED RUNNING.
“HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!” I SAID.
I CHASED AFTER SUNNY. BUT I LOST HIM.
I LOOKED AROUND AND SAW SUNNY PUSHING A DEER.
“KILL!” SUNNY SAID. “I KILL YOU!”
THE DEER DIDNT DO ANYTHING.
“YOU LIED.” SUNNY SAID. “I CANT KILL. UNLESS IM DOING IT WRONG...”
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN ADULT AND PULLED THE DEER'S HEAD OFF. HE TOSSED IT TO THE SIDE CASUALLY.
“OH FUCK...OH FUCK...” I SAID.
THE DEER FELL LIFELESSLY OVER.
“WOW” SUNNY SAID. “I GUESS I CAN KILL.”
RK FADED INTO THE WORLD AGAIN AND THEY BOTH STARTED WALKING TO ME AND NICK.
“I'M GONNA KILL BOTH OF YOU!” SUNNY SAID.
HE STARTED RUNNING TO US, AND THEN THE SUN LET OUT A GIANT BLAST AGAIN AND WE WERE ON THE PLATFORM.
“SHIDO THIS IS SCARY” NICK SAID. “I...I DONT WANT TO GO ANY FURTHER...”
“WE HAVE TO NICK” I SAID. “IF WE WANT TO STOP SUNNY, WE HAVE TO.”
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT PLATFORM.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT.
NOTHING.
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT.
WE WERE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.
SUNNY WAS A KID. HE SAT WITH HIS BACK BEHIND US, CRYING.
“WHAT'S WRONG, SUNNY?” I SAID.
“I'M SCARED.” SUNNY SAID.
“OF WHAT?” I SAID.
“YOU” SUNNY SAID.
“ME? WHY ME?” I SAID.
“I...I DON'T KNOW.” SUNNY SAID. “I DON'T LIKE YOU. AND NIETHER DOES RK.”
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN ADULT.
“AND NIETHER DOES GOD.” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED BACK INTO A CHILD.
“WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?” I SAID.
“EVERYTHING” SUNNY SAID.
THE SUN LET OUT ANOTHER BLAST AND WE WERE BACK ON THE PLATFORM.
“CMON, LET'S KEEP MOVING.” I SAID.
WE RAN ACROSS THE PLATFORM AND HOPPED UP ONTO THE NEXT ONE.
WE ENTERED THE WORLD AGAIN.
THIS TIME SUNNY WASN'T THERE WHEN WE GOT THERE. WE WALKED AROUND FOR A WHILE AND SOON SUNNY CAME RUNNING UP TO US.
HE SEEMED OLDER. MAYBE 10 OR 12 YEARS OLD.
“DON'T BE MAD.” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED FROM ADULT TO KID.
“MAD AT WHAT?” I SAID.
“PLEASE DONT BE MAD AT ME” SUNNY SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED AGAIN. HE SEEMED TO BE DOING IT MORE OFTEN.
“SUNNY, WHAT'D YOU DO??” I SAID.
“DON'T BE MAD!” SUNNY SAID.
HE RAN INTO A FORREST.
ME AND NICK LOOKED AT EACHOTHER AND THEN FOLLOWED AFTER HIM.
WHEN WE GOT INTO THE FORREST I COVERED MY MOUTH.
THERE WERE 5 PEOPLE ON THE GROUND THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED.
SUNNY STOOD ON THE OTHER END WITH A DULL, BLOODY, ROCK.
“DON'T BE MAD.” SUNNY SAID.
“SUNNY...!” I SAID.
“RK HELPED!” SUNNY SAID. “IT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT! OH SHUT UP, RK, YOU DID TOO HELP AND YOU KNOW IT!”
“HOLY SHIT...” NICK SAID.
SUNNY FLICKERED INTO AN ADULT. HE THREW THE ROCK AT ME, BUT THEN THE SUN LET OUT A GIANT BLAST BEFORE IT COULD HIT ME.
WE WERE BACK ON THE PLATFORM.
NICK HAD A CONCERNED LOOK ON HIS FACE.
“SHIDO...SHIDO I DONT WANT TO GO TO THE NEXT PLATFORM..” NICK SAID.
“NICK, WE HAVE TO DO THIS!” I SAID. “WE NEED THAT KEY!”
“SHIDO THIS IS FUCKING SCARY!” NICK SAID.
NICK GRABBED ME.
“WHOA WHOA, NICK!” I SAID.
“SHIDO, HE'S INSANE! THAT FUCKING KID IS INSANE!!” NICK SAID.
“NICK, LET'S JUST GO!” I SAID. “WE EITHER GET THE KEY, AND STOP SUNNY, OR WE LIVE IN HIS HELL FOREVER. YOUR CHOICE!”
“F...FINE LET'S GO..” NICK SAID.
HE SEEMED UNEASY. LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO FAINT.
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT PLATFORM.
WE ENTERED THE WORLD AGAIN.
SUNNY WAS THERE WITH BLOOD ALL OVER HIS HANDS.
“OH GOD..” NICK SAID.
SUNNY WAS PROBABLY ABOUT 15 OR 16 NOW.
“HEY!” SUNNY SAID. “I'M JUST CURIOUS!”
I CLOSED MY EYES.
“CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT SUNNY?” I SAID.
“YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME!” SUNNY SAID. “I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS INSIDE HER!”
“HOLY FUCK!” NICK SAID.
I WAS AFRAID TO OPEN MY EYES.
BUT I DID ANYWAYS.
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS PROBABLY 9 YEARS OLD, AND IT LOOKED LIKE SUNNY TORE HER CHEST OPEN.
“SUNNY...WHY? WHY??” I SAID.
“YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME!' SUNNY SAID. “YOU CAN'T FUCKING JUDGE ME!!!!”
SUNNY CHARGED AT ME BUT THE SUN LET OUT ANOTHER BLAST AND WE WERE ON THE PLATFORM.
“WHAT WAS THAT?? WHAT WAS THAT????” NICK SAID.
NICK LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY.
“NICK, WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING THROUGH THESE” I SAID.
“I KNOW..I KNOW...” NICK SAID.
WE JUMPED TO THE NEXT PLATFORM AND WE ENTERED THE WORLD.
THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD. AND BUILDINGS. PEOPLE WERE CHEERING. ME AND NICK WALKED THROUG HTHE CROWDS, UNTIL WE SAW A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PUSHING SUNNY INTO A GIANT HOLE.
SUNNY TURNED TO ME.
“HELP ME!!” SUNNY SAID. “PLEASE HELP ME!!”
SUNNY FLICKERED FROM ADULT TO TEENAGER RAPIDLY.
“YOU HAVE TO HELP ME PLEASE!” SUNNY SCREAMED. “I LOVED YOU, I TRUSTED YOU!”
“HE'S NOT LISTENING TO YOU ANYMORE.” A GUY SAID.
IT WAS CHEF.
“FUCK YOU CHEF!” SUNNY SAID. “HE IS! HE IS!”
SUNNY TURNED TO ME AGAIN.
“HELP ME PLEASE!” SUNNY SAID.
I THINK SUNNY REALIZED I WASNT GOING TO DO ANYTHING AND HE GAVE ME ONE LAST DESPERATE LOOK, BEFORE HE WAS PUSHED INTO THE HOLE.
PEOPLE CHEERED AND THEN THE SUN BLASTED A RAY AND WE WERE BACK ON THE PLATFORM.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” NICK SAID.
“I THINK THEY WERE PUTTING HIM IN HELL..” I SAID.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE PLATFORM LEFT.
“NICK. LET'S GO.” I SAID.
WE JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM.
WE ENTERED A DARK AND BLUE WORLD.
SUNNY HAD HIS BACK TO US CRYING AGAIN.
HE WAS AN ADULT NOW. COMPLETELY AN ADULT.
“S..SUNNY?” I SAID.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??” SUNNY SAID.
HE TURNED AROUND QUICKLY.
HE LOOKED ANGRY AND TIRED.
“SUNNY, JUST BE CALM NOW..” I SAID.
“I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY” SUNNY SAID. “I'VE CHANGED MY NAME TOO. SINCE YOU DON'T THINK I'M VERY SUNNY ANYMORE.”
“OKAY OKAY SUNNY JUST STAY CALM.” I SAID.
“YOU CAN CALL ME SUNNYCIDE FROM NOW ON. LOL GET IT?” SUNNY SAID. “KILLING OF THE SUN. WHICH IS WHAT IM GOING TO DO.”
“OKAY...OKAY I GET IT...” I SAID.
SUNNY SCREAMED AT ME, AND THEN THE WHOLE WORLD STARTED SPINNING. THE WORLD TURNED INTO SWIRLING COLORS AND ME AND NICK STOOD THERE CONFUSED.
THE WORLD STOPPED SPINNING AND THERE WE WERE ON A FLOATING PLATFORM WITH STAIRS LEADING TO ANOTHER PLATFORM.
“NICK, LET'S GO.” I SAID.

ME AND NICK CLIMBED THE STEPS. ON THE FAR END OF THE PLATFORM, WAS THE KEY.
“NICK, THERE IT IS!” I SAID.
WE STARTED RUNNING AFTER IT.
AND THEN THE PLATFORM STRETCHED. WE KEPT RUNNING BUT THE KEY JUST KEPT GETTING FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY.
WALLS CLOSED AROUND US.
THE WALLS STARTED PLAYING SUNNY.
“FINALLY SOMEONE TO PLAY WITH!” SUNNY SAID.
IT SHOWED SUNNY TALKING TO THE SUN INSTEAD OF US.
“WHAT THE..?” I SAID.
I STOPPED RUNNING.
“I DREW A PICTURE!” SUNNY SAID. “IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOU!”
SUNNY HELD IT UP TO THE SUN.
“SHIDO WHATS HAPPENING?” NICK SAID.
“GOD, I THINK YOU HAVE AN ENEMY” SUNNY SAID. “LIKE, A SECOND GOD WHO MAKES SOMEONE LIKE ME. WELL, ATLEAST THAT'S WHAT RK TELLS ME. MAYBE THE OTHER GOD CAN FIX RK. SINCE I KNOW YOU WONT LISTEN...”
“NICK...” I SAID. “HE WASN'T TALKING TO US...”
“BUT HE WAS!” NICK SAID. “HE SAID YOU GUYS, THAT ONE TIME! AND HE HEARD ME SAY KILL! ...RIGHT?”
“WHERE'D YOU GUYS GO?” SUNNY SAID. “DONT LEAVE ME IT'S BORING HERE.”
SUNNY WAS TALKING TO NO ONE.
“I CAN KILL?” SUNNY SAID. “I THOUGHT ONLY GOD COULD KILL.”
“HE'S NOT EVEN TALKING TO ANYONE!” NICK SAID.
“HOLY FUCK NICK..” I SAID. “DO YOU THINK...DO YOU THINK WE WERE SUNNY'S CONSCIENCE?”
“IM NOT SURE..” NICK SAID.
“WOW” SUNNY SAID. “I GUESS I CAN KILL.”
BUT HE WAS STILL A KID.
“HE WAS AN ADULT WHEN HE SAID THAT” NICK SAID. “I REMEMBER!”
“THIS IS CREEPY” I SAID.
“I'M SCARED...” SUNNY SAID. “OF YOU...”
SUNNY LOOKED UP AT GOD.
“I DON'T LIKE YOU. NIETHER DOES RK.” SUNNY SAID.
“HOLY..” NICK SAID.
“DON'T BE MAD.” SUNNY SAID TO THE SUN. “PLEASE DON'T BE MAD.”
“OH MY GOD...” I SAID. “THIS WHOLE TIME...”
“YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME!” SUNNY YELLED UP TO THE SUN. “YOU CAN'T FUCKING JUDGE ME!!!!”
AT LAST WE WERE AT THE PART WHEN THE PEOPLE WERE PUSHING SUNNY INTO HELL.
“HELP ME!!” SUNNY YELLED TO GOD. “I LOVED YOU, I TRUSTED YOU!!”
THE FINAL PART OF SUNNY IN HELL WAS SPED UP VERY FAST.
ME AND NICK TRIED TO WATCH. THEN THE WALLS TURNED INTO DUST AND BLEW AWAY.
I TURNED TO THE KEY AND WALKED TO IT. IT DIDN'T STRETCH OUT FURTHER. IT STAYED PUT.
I PICKED UP THE KEY AND LOOKED AT IT. THEN I LOOKED AT THE BLACK SPACE. SUDDENLY A PURPLE FACE APPEARED OUT OF THE SKY.
“SHIDO.” THE FACE SAID.
“GOD?” I SAID.
“I HAVE RECORDED THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD COME HERE, AND I WOULD BE DEAD.” GOD SAID. “DO NOT TALK, JUST LISTEN.”
NICK STEPPED UP WITH ME.
“YOU HAVE SEEN THE TRUE PATH OF SUNNYCIDE.” GOD SAID. “I SHOWED YOU THIS TO SHOW YOU HIS TRUE EVIL. DO NOT LET HIM LIE TO YOU ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. DO NOT LET HIM BRAINWASH YOU. BECAUSE HE WILL TRY. WHEN YOU ENTER HELL, THERE WILL BE 5 LEVELS. LEVEL ONE, WILL BE ZERO, DACHAMP, AND JUSTIN.”
“EASY.” I SAID.
“LEVEL TWO” GOD SAID. “WILL BE MEBALL 3.0. LEVEL THREE WILL BE HYPER AND ZIRO. LEVEL FOUR WILL BE RK AND JAMEZ. AND FINALLY, LEVEL FIVE WILL BE,OF COURSE, SUNNYCIDE. EACH LEVEL WILL BE A DIFFERENT BATTLE STAGE. I AM UNSURE WHAT LEVELS 1,2,3,OR 4 WILL BE, BUT LEVEL 5 IS ONTOP A GIANT CRYSTAL CIRCULAR PLATFORM. SHIDO, GETTING TO LEVEL FIVE WILL NOT BE EASY, AND GETTING PAST LEVEL FIVE WILL BE EVEN HARDER, BUT YOU CAN DO IT WITH THE HELP OF YOUR FRIENDS. YOU MUST CHOOSE THREE MORE PEOPLE TO JOIN YOU IN THE FIGHT TO HELL. IF I MAY SUGGEST ONE, SHADOWDRAGON. IT WAS UNEXPECTED WHEN HE WAS KILLED BY RK, BUT HE COULD REALLY USE A CHANCE TO PROVE HIMSELF AGAIN. ALSO, WHEN SUNNY IS DEFEATED, A LOT OF MAGIC WILL BE UNLEASHED FROM HIS BODY. THERE IS ENOUGH MAGIC TO GRANT ONE WISH, AND IT WILL BE YOURS TO DECIDE SINCE YOU REALLY DESERVE IT. THAT IS ALL SHIDO. YOU WILL BE SENT BACK TO HEAVEN NOW.”
I WOKE UP AND I WAS BACK ON HEAVEN.
“GUYS, WHAT HAPPENED GUYS??” IZZY SAID.
“FUCKED UP SHIT.” NICK SAID. “SUNNY'S FUCKING EVIL.”
“SUNNY WAS THERE?” COLTEN SAID.
“NO..NO...” I SAID. “WELL KIND OF...THERE'S NO TIME TO SPEAK ABOUT IT NOW, WE HAVE TO GET MOVING.”
“SHIDO..” CHEF SAID.
HE WAS STANDING ON TWO FEET NOW.
“HAVE YOU DECIDED ON THREE PEOPLE?” CHEF SAID.
“I HAVE CHEF. THREE PEOPLE WE MET ALONG THIS JOURNEY THAT COULD REALLY HELP US.” I SAID.
“WHO?” IZZY SAID.
“FOLLOW ME.” I SAID.
WE WALKED DOWN TO SHADOWDRAGON.
HE WAS DRUNK DRINKING A BOTTLE INSIDE A PAPER BAG.
“SHADOW.” I SAID.
“OH LOOK IT'S MR. HERO!” SHADOW SAID.
HE THREW THE BOTTLE AND IT FELL OFF HEAVEN.
“OW WTF?” A GUY SAID FROM EARTH.
“SHADOW WE NEED YOU TO COME DOWN AND FIGHT WITH US IN HEAVEN.” I SAID.
“FOOOOOOOOOOR WAT?” SHADOW SAID. “SO I CAN GET MY ASS KCIKED BY AN ASIAN AGAIN?”
SHADOW STUMBLED AROUND AND GRABBED MY SHOULDERS.
“YOU'RE A GOOD WALRUS” SHADOW SAID.
HE PUT HIS HEAD ON MY CHEST AND STARTED SLEEPING.
“HE'S A FUCKING DRUNK” IZZY SAID.
“AWWW...WE'LL COME TO HIM LATER.” I SAID PUSHING SHADOW OFF ME.
“WHO'S NEXT SHIDO?” NICK SAID.
“I HOPE HE'S HERE.” I SAID.
“WHO?” NICK SAID.
“THERE!” I SAID.
I RAN UP TO HIM.
“....THIS GUY!” NICK SAID.
“UH UH WHAT?” HE SAID.
HE TURNED AROUND.
“GINGA.” I SAID.
“HEY FAGGOT!” GINGA SAID.
HE KNOCKED ME ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD.
“GINGA, WE'RE PUTTING TOGETHER A TEAM TO ATTACK HELL.” I SAID. “AND I THOUGHT YOU'D-”
“I'M FUCKING IN! I WANNA KICK RK'S ASS UP AND DOWN TOWN!” GINGA SAID. “OH AND SUNNY'S.”
“THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.” I SAID.
GINGA GOT ON ALL FOURS LIKE A DOG.
“RUFF! WHAT CAN I DO!” HE SAID.
“WELL, FOR RIGHT NOW, NOTHING.” I SAID. “JUST STAY HERE, WE'LL COME GET YOU WHEN WERE READY.”
“RUFF, RUFF!” GINGA SAID.
“STAY. STAAAAAAAAY!” I SAID.
GINGA SAT AND WATCHED US.
“FUCKING FREAK.” I SAID.
WE WALKED AWAY TO THE NEXT PERSON.
“WHO'S NEXT?” COLTEN SAID.
“OOOH I HOPE HE'S HERE. I REALLY DO.” I SAID.
“SHIDO WHY DONT YOU TELL US?” I SAID.
“I WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE.” I SAID. “IT'S BETTER FOR THE READER.”
“HOLY FUCK HE'S HERE!” I SAID.
“OH NO...” IZZY SAID.
“HIM???” NICK SAID.
“LING!” I SAID. “LING THE KRAKEN!”
“HELLO” LING SAID.
“SHIDO, HE SMASHED NG'S HEAD! AND JAMEZ'S DICK...” NICK SAID.
“YOU PEOPLE HAVE WEIRD FRIENDS.” REDD SAID.
“OH, YOU'RE STILL HERE? HM.” I SAID. “LISTEN GUYS, HE'S A GIANT KRAKEN! WHO WOULDNT WANT THAT ON THEIR TEAM?”
“ALSO I CAN LIVE ON LAND. AND IM PRETTY FAST.” LING SAID. “PLUS I WANT TO RAPE RK FOR KILLING ME.”
“I LOVE HOW EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL RK BUT NO ONES GONNA MAKE IT TO HIM.” COLTEN SAID.
“ANYWAYS.” I SAID. “LING, WE'LL COME BACK WHEN WE'RE READY TO ATTACK.”
“OKEY DOKEY” LING SAID.
WE RAN BACK TO SHADOW.
HE WAS RUNNING AROUND HEAVEN.
“WHEE! WHEEE!” SHADOW SAID.
I GRABBED SHADOW.
“SHADOW SNAP OUT OF IT!” I SAID.
I SLAPPED HIM ACROSS THE FACE.
“GAH!” SHADOW SAID. “WHAT?”
“SHADOW, WE'RE ATTACKING HELL. ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?” I SAID.
“I'M GONNA KICK RKS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” SHADOW SAID PASSING OUT AGAIN.
“I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES.” I SAID.
WE WENT BACK TO CHEF. GINGA AND LING WERE THERE.
“CHEF...WE'RE READY. KIND OF.” I SAID.
“SHADOW'S PASSED OUT.” CHEF SAID.
“I KNOW.” I SAID.
“JUST GET SOMEONE INSTEAD OF HIM.” CHEF SAID.
“BUT WHO?” I SAID.
“REMEMBER ME SHIDO?” SNAKEPIT SAID.
“SNAKEPIT!” I SAID. “BUT WAIT WHICH ONE ARE YOU.”
“SHIDO” SNAKEPIT SAID. “I'M YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL. ALL THOSE SNAKPITS YOU SAW WERE ME.”
“THE ANGEL HAS A GUARDIAN ANGEL. HM.” COLTEN SAID.
“SRS?” I SAID.
“DEAD SRS.” SNAKEPIT SAID. “AND IM READY TO KICK SOME DEMON ASS.”
“SHIDO, YOU'RE READY NOW.” CHEF SAID. “GO.”
I WOKE UP AND WE WERE WHERE NR USED TO BE.
LING, GINGA, NICK, IZZY, COLTEN, SNAKEPIT, AND REDD WERE THERE.
“GUYS” I SAID. “LETSA GO”